A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent world. I only own Pazia. (Pronounced: Pah-ze-ah.) All outfits are on my profile. This story is set after Four and Eric became Dauntless but the year before Tris became Dauntless.

Rating: M

Word Count: 8, 116

Chapter Eleven

Previously on Battle Scars:

"I have feelings for you." I whisper brokenly, clicking the safety off the gun. "But I am not in love with you. Maybe one day though." I laugh a sob, tears burning in my eyes and a tear in my heart. "One day. I'm sorry. Good bye, Eric."

And I pull the trigger.

In seconds, I am in a corridor.

I walk cautiously down the hall but it seems deserted. There is a single red door at the end of the hallway. A low, ominous hissing is coming from the door. Dread forms in my chest, my heart beating faster as I stare wide eyed at the door. I could run away...or I can face it. I take a deep breath and glance down at my snake tattoo, running a gentle finger over it and drawing strength. Then I start walking.

The nearer I get to the door, the louder the hissing gets. Finally, I am right in front of it.

I take a deep breath and slowly reach out a hand and open the door. The hissing stops and I pause. I draw strength from my tattoo, pressing a hand to my heart. It thuds frantically and I widen my eyes, stepping forward and shutting the door behind me. I walk farther into the room, quiet pants filling the silence.

Something slithers over my foot and I flinch, tears burning in my eyes. I tremble from head to toe but bravely continue on. I know when I have reached the center of the room because the lights shoot on. I wince, holding in a scream as several large serpents drop down on my shoulders.

I freeze, fear growing in my heart.

They slither over my head and twine all around me. I flick my gaze around the room, looking for a way out. I spot it but it is covered in snakes. I whimper but slowly start moving in the direction. The snakes hiss angrily but I don't stop. I slowly and carefully reach the door and slowly kneel down. I reach out a trembling hand, my heart in my throat.

My hand connects with cold steel and I flinch, expecting one of the snakes to lash out. But they don't and I slip away.

I find myself in the Erudite courtyard.

Kids are laughing and playing and I move slowly to a bench, pulling out my lunch. This is an actual memory from when I was a little girl.

I eat my sandwich happily before pulling out my sunflower seeds. I happily munch on a couple, a small bird landing and watching me curiously. I giggle and toss it a seed, watching delighted as it pecks it open and eats the small seed inside. A couple more land and I toss a couple for them too.

But then I don't want to share anymore.

I munch on my treat, ignoring the small birds as they hop closer. Then they attack. I scream as their tiny sharp beaks tear into my soft skin. I cry out, trying to get rid of the little things. I flail around, little trickles of blood runnig down my face and arms. In my hand, I still have the seeds.

I have a problem letting go and I didn't then.

Tears stream down my face and I fling the seeds far away, hugging Jett and crying. He hugs me back and then fades away.

I wake up in the dorm room.

I look around, breathing easier when I see the sleeping forms around me. I sit up in bed ad trudge to the bathroom. I enter and frown when I see I am in the Pit, surrounded by Dauntless members. They watch me with disgust and shake their heads.

I look up at Eric as he strides forward.

"You are not Dauntless. You don't deserve to be here. You are now cast out to be Factionless." Eric says coldly and I flinch back in horror.

"But- I proved I am Dauntless." I say strongly and he sneers.

"Wrong. You proved you don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere." He says with a cold sense of finality. Tears well in my eyes but I raise my chin, squaring my shoulders.

"I do belong here. And if you can't see that, then it is your loss." I turn and sweep my gaze imperiously around the room one last time, then I leave with my head held high. The scene shifts a little and I am walking at the Chasm and Dauntless are in front and behind me. They watch me darkly and crack their knuckles.

Fear shivers through me but I have never backed down before. This time, I will stare death in the eye and laugh.

They silently rush at me and I whirl into motion. I dodge and punch and kick ferociously. Blood runs down my face and pain radiates all over my body but I refuse to stop fighting. I shout and scream, blood pouring out of wounds as I snap necks, break arms and fight to survive.

I scream as my arm snaps but bare my teeth angrily, spitting blood into their eyes and head butting Ander.

"I. Will. Not. Submit!" I shout, stumbling as a fist slams into my face. Dazed, I stare up at Eric, who grins darkly.

"You submit to me. Remember? In the maze- " he steps closer as I stare at him with wide, dark eyes. "- in the tunnel. In your dreams. In the fighting ring. In the shooting range. On the couch." He reels off and lunges forward, grabbing my hair and ripping me to my feet. "So why not now?" He asks and pulls me into a violating kiss. I struggle frantically against him, tears streaming down my face. I slam my fist in the side of his head and he staggers to the side, roaring pain.

"Because you aren't him, you sick bastard!" I shout and he turns, glaring at me.

"Who? Your precious Jett?" He snarls, advancing on me. "I see the way you look at him! We all do! And when you snuggle up to him- it makes me sick!" He shouts and I close my eyes, shaking my head as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"You don't mean that. Jett and I- we are us. It has always been us against the world. He is mine and I am his..but not like I could be yours. You just have to reach for it, want it bad enough." I sigh and climb to my feet. I face him head on, defiance strong in my cobalt blue gaze. "And when I said 'him', I meant the real Eric. So go ahead! I'm not afraid to die. Not anymore! I have lived and if it's my time to go, then so be it. But you can be damn certain that I will take as many people with me as I can." With that said, I lunge at him and fling us into the waiting Chasm below.

The whole way down, I laugh until the water steals my last breath.

And then I am awake.

I lay alone in the dank room. I take a deep breath...and it feels amazing. I have faced my fears and emerged on the other side. I feel new and free because I did it. My fears didn't take me down. They didn't stop me. In the end, all they did was make me stronger. A large smile spreads across my face and I slip out of the chair, a new confidence in my posture and peace and pride gleaming in my eyes. I wipe the tears gently off my face, and it feels like I am wiping away all that made me weak.

The door opens and the five leaders stride in.

"Congratulations Paz. You have passed your last evaluation." Max grins at me and I grin back, a laugh escaping me as I lunge forward and wrap him in a hug.

"Thank you so much." I say and back away, my new confidence apparent in everything I do. I turn to the rest of the leaders and nod to them but unlike last time, this is more of a nod between equals. Because I have no plans of being a Wall guard. I will request either Trainer, Tattoo, or Border Patrol. Like Jett.

At the thought of him, a larger smile spreads across my face and I whirl around, ripping the door open. And there he is. Laughing, I race forward and slam into his waiting arms. He wraps his arms around my waist and laughs into my neck as he spins us.

"You made it." He laughs, tears gleaming in his eyes.

"I know. I know!" I laugh back and he shakes his head, setting me down and sliding a hand on my cheek.

"No, Paz. You. Made. It. You had the fastest time. You are first. You did it." He tells me and I stare for a moment before a wide grin spreads across my face and I start laughing. Jett laughs with me pulling me into another hug. We laugh together until my laughter turns to sobs and Jett holds me tighter as we rock from side to side.

"I did it." I look up at him with wet eyes. "Jett. There was a sim." I bite my lip and look away. "With you, mom and...Eric. I had to shoot two. I could only save one-" He smiles down at me and brushes my hair back, sweeping his thumb over my cheek.

"It's okay Paz. I understand-" I shake my head, looking at him with wide eyes.

"No. You don't. Because in the end...I chose you." I whisper and blank shock shows in his eyes. I give him a small smile and press a kiss to his cheek. "In the end, I always choose you." I say softly and turn, walking over to my group. They swarm around me and I laugh and cheer with them as we race down the stairs and stream back to the Pit.

I sit down with them and marvel that this will be my last day.

From here on out, I will be a full member of Dauntless. I will belong to a Faction. And I choose Dauntless. Every time. Someone starts passing a bottle around and I take a gulp as it passes by before handing it off to Ellie. Together, our group laughs and messes around. All I know, is at one point, I had someone in a headlock.

At another point, I slipped away to the tattoo parlor and got another tattoo. This one is on the outside of my right arm and it says one word: overcome. I truly earned it. I overcame all of my fears. I joined my group again, gauze over my latest tattoo and they eyed it curiously but didn't remark on it. We don't sit nervously, instead we are loud and bold...and Dauntless.

I laugh crazily with my group, a radiant expression on my face as I belong.

Somehow, through the complete chaos, I hear the sound of banging. I turn and my group follows my lead, quieting down and facing forward as Max stops slamming a bat against the railing and grins.

"Initiates! When you first arrived here, you were so weak and scared. After months of training, you have proven yourselves. Body, Heart and Soul. Here in Dauntless, we are the warriors. We defend the weak. We live. We do what we want and live life to the fullest because for us, our life can be gone in seconds. I commend you for having the bravery to choose this life. You truly are Dauntless. I give you, your rankings! And Dauntless is proud. Now let's party!" He shouts and the sound that rocks the Pit is unlike anything I have ever heard or felt before.

The walls vibrate as they stamp their feet and cheer. The noise impossibly gets louder and it reaches deep into my soul. I look around at my fellow initiates and we nod to each other before looking at the board.

Stage Three Rankings

1 - Paz

2 - Ellie

3 - Raza

4 - Ander

5 - Tabby

6 - Zander

7 - Sam

8 - Dean

9 - Izzy

10 - Sasha

11 - Misty

12 - Mike

13 - Ty

14- Violette

15 - Blade

16 - Andy

17 - Raven

18 - Emily

19 - Howard

20 - Jon

21 - Sandra

22 - Razor

23 - Josh

24 - Taylor

I briefly scan the list, grinning when I see that Ellie and I are the top two.

And then the real party begins. We all let loose in a way we haven't before, now that we no longer have to worry about being cut. We dance together, laughing and stumbling. Raza twirls me and I laugh, throwing my head back as I remember the other time I was drunk like this. Raza grins down at me and twirls me away. I crash into a warm chest and I know without looking it is Jett. He settles his hands on my waist and we dance for a little while.

I pull back, grinning and throwing my arms above my head, jumping with the sound of the deep bass rumbling through the Pit. Jett grins at me, bobbing his head as we dance and I laugh, pulling him into another hug. He pulls me closer, dropping a kiss to the top of my head. I reach to pull off the necklace and he shakes his head.

"Keep it." He whispers in my ear. "You gave it to me when I needed it and now I am giving it to you, full of my strength." I smile at the silver phoenix and look up at him adoringly.

"I don't know what I would have done without you." I tell him and he runs a hand down my temple, tucking my hair behind an ear and cupping my cheek.

"You would have dominated the competition. Just like you did. You amaze me sometimes with how strong you can be." Jett tells me and grin up at him, catching sight of Lyrica over my shoulder. I take Jett's hand and lead him over to her. She watches me warily, her eyes dropping to our hands clasped together. I step forward, tugging Jett with me and give her his hand. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, smiling happily at her.

A small pang hits me when I see the love in his eyes for her but I don't let it affect me.

"He's yours. I'll try to back off some. I know how it can be watching someone you care about hang all over someone else but you have to remember- Jett and I are best friends and have been for most of our lives." I tell her and Lyrica nods, wrapping an arm around his waist, some of her ferocity melting away as she locks eyes with him. I smile happily for two of them and turn and walk back to my group.

I steal a bottle, taking another drink and climbing on the table.

"To Dauntless!" I shout and get my cheer echoed as I start to dance on the table, pulling a laughing Ellie up with me. We dance happily, swaying together and tossing our hair. Time passes by in a blur as we let loose and party happily, passing the drinks around.

"Let's play Most Likely!" Ander shouts and we give a resounding cheer back while Ellie just looks confused.

"What's that?" She asks and I sling an arm over her shoulders.

"You poor innocent dove." I coo. "It's a drinking game. Someone says for example: Most Likely to pass out while zip lining and however many people are pointing at you, you have to take the same amount of drinks. Now!" I raise my voice as everyone gatherers around. Most Likely to smoke a joint!" I shout and we all point at Sam, a known smoker. He sneers at us, taking 19 drinks of his whisky. I laugh, leaning on Ellie's side as we continue. At this point, I have had several drinks but my alcohol tolerance us much better than it was all those weeks ago.

"Most Likely to make out with a Dauntless Leader!" Ellie shouts and everyone points at me.

"Hey! Traitor!" I shout, hitting her shoulder. She winces but the shit-eating grin refuses to fade from her face. I roll my eyes and take 19 shots of vodka, the liquid spreading warm and making me giggle happily. "Enough of this game. Let's play...Medusa!" I shout and we all gather into a circle, chanting to 10 and then looking up. "Medusa!" I shout, taking a deep swig from my drink when my eyes meet Raza's. He laughs wildly, doing the same.

We reset and chant to ten again. I look up and cheer when I am not looking at anyone. Ellie reluctantly takes a drink, making eyes at Ander, who is watching her with a heated look. I raise an eyebrow and reach across the table to slap Raza on the shoulder. He looks at the two and grins. I giggle with him behind my hand.

"Who wants to play Cup Swap?!" Zander shouts and we cheer back. We fill up cups so everyone has one full cup and one empty cup and a spoon. "Ready! Set! Go!" He shouts and we all hurry to try and move as much liquid from the one cup to the empty cup. I only have it halfway when the time goes off but in my drunken world, that doesn't matter. We all cheer and raise our glasses when time runs out, drinking the rest of the alcohol in the cups, regardless of whether or not we were supposed to.

The rest of the night progresses hazily but I remember at one point, my group was lead away one by one to be shown where their new apartment was located until it was just me and Raza. Eric was the one who came to get me with Four to get Raza. By the time they found us, we were taking shots tequila shots.

I had been licking the salt off of Raza's neck when they walked up and I could practically see Eric killing Raza dozens of different ways. I cheered drunkenly when they arrived, swaying against Raza.

"You guys are really drunk." Four says with amusement and I nod happily as he swings Raza's arm over his shoulder. "Try not to do anything too stupid." Four tells me, glancing pointedly at Eric and I grin happily at him.

"Bye, Four!" I coo happily, waving as he helps a stumbling Raza away. I turn back to my drink and take another deep pull and cough as the bottle is pulled away from me. "Hey!" I whine, pouting sadly. Eric sighs, gesturing for me to get up.

"Come on Paz. I need to show you to your room." He says impatiently and I pout but get up, swaying crazily as I stumble in a random direction. Eric strides after me, taking my shoulder and turning me in a different direction. After almost killing a few people with my drunken stumbling, Eric sighs and then my world tilts crazily.

I realize he picked me up and is carrying me through the crowds. I sigh, suddenly sleepy and let my head drop onto his broad shoulder. Eric glances down at me, and I smile sleepily up at him. He rolls his eyes but I detect a softening in his facial features. We pass by the red-head and I stick my tongue out at her and giggle at the outraged shout. Eric snickers too as we exit the Pit. He sets me down on my feet and steadies me as I stumble.

"Try to memorize the way to your room." He orders as we set off. We go along the way towards Jett and Roman's rooms and when Eric stiffens, I realize I said that out loud. He doesn't comment but anger is dark in his blue eyes and his muscles ripple angrily while his strides lengthen.

I stumble along with him, too drunk to feel bad about slipping that comment out.

We reach tunnel with doors on either side and Eric continues past them, all the way to the end where the last door is a little apart from the others. He unlocks the door and enters, me following wobbly behind him. I stumble in and lean on the door frame, sliding down and resting against the door.

Eric turns and I see his boots before he crouches down and I can see his face as his brawny body looms over me.

"You are really drunk." He states and I nod pathetically. In my drunken mind, I see a smile before it is gone and I am being scooped up. We go into another room and Eric drops me on the bed. I bounce from the impact and then curl up. "You need to get into your pajamas." He tries telling me but I bury my head under my pillow. He sighs and tugs me away from it, helping me stand up.

"I wanna shower." I mumble, another yawn splitting my face. He stares down at me before scooping me up and taking me into another room. I sway as he sets me down, giggling as he turns the water on. I try to climb in with my clothes still on and he catches me around the waist.

"You need to get naked first." He says huskily in my ear and my body gives an instant reaction. I whimper, my inhibitions lowered with the help of the alcohol. Eric stiffens against my back and I turn, raising my arms, showing him the silver zipper. I shiver under his heated gaze as he slowly lowers it. I slip my arms out and let it slip down my body, revealing my tattoos and leaving me in only boots and panties.

His jaw clenches as his eyes run slowly down my form. I shiver in response, his eyes snapping back up to mine as I step out of the jumpsuit completely. I sit down on the toilet and hold out my leg, cocking my head to the side. He unzips my boot and slips it off my foot with the sock and does the same with the other leg. His hand is warm on my legs and I can feel that all-too-familiar heat start up.

He smirks slowly at me, helping me stand up as he rests his hands on my waist. I take deep breaths, my eyes wide on his as his hands slowly slide my panties down my legs. I step out of them and he tosses them to the side as he unzips his jacket and shrugs out of it. He unbuckles his belt and my eyes fall to where his hands unzip his pants. My eyes dart back up to his as he steps out of his jeans and pulls his shirt over his eyes.

My greedy eyes scan his body.

His broad shoulders are all muscle and make me feel small but powerful at the same time. His block tattoos trail all the way down his chest and my eyes linger on the v his muscles make. His stomach is rock hard abs and I bite my lip, want racing through me. Eric steps forward, herding me backwards until my heels hit the edge of the tub. He lifts me by my waist into the shower and then climbs in with me.

The water runs down the both of us, our bodies gleaming with the liquid. Eric grabs the soap and slowly starts washing me. I tremble against him as his hands travel all over, soaping me me and then rubbing me clean. His fingers linger at my neck, grasping my waist and brushing against the parts I desperately want him to claim.

"Eric.." I plead and laughter rumbles in his chest as I look at him from under my eyelashes.

"Not while you are drunk. When we have sex, you will be fully aware and nothing will be able to steal it from your memory." He whispers huskily in my ear and I moan, leaning against his chest. Our bare chests press together and a low whine slips out as my nipples rub against his chest. Eric groans, clamping his hands down on my waist.

"Fuck." He says lowly and I nod weakly against him. "We need to get out." He says and I nod again but neither of us move until I climb shakily out of the shower. He towels me dry almost roughly but I know it is because it takes every bit of his restraint to not bend me over and fuck me til I know no name but his. He slips a shirt over my head and as it settles on my frame, I realize it is his shirt at the same time he does.

His obvious erection bulges in his boxers and he turns away, a few muffled curses slipping out of his gritted teeth. I step slowly forward, pressing against his back and slipping my fingers over his abs, down his front and into his pants. He tenses, bracing his arms against the wall and widening his stance. I grip the base and stroke up and down, tugging gently on his throbbing length as the heat grows between my legs. His stomach tightens as I repeat the motion and he whirls around, claiming my mouth.

His tongue sweeps in, caressing mine as he backs me against the wall. Eric's hands move down to my butt where he clenches his hands, causing me to arch against him and moan into his mouth. Eric grins briefly before our mouths lock together again. I clench my fists in his hair as he angles our mouths so he can kiss me deeper.

Then he is pulling back and gently setting me on my feet, turning away.

I watch him get dressed as I pant for breath. He zips up his jacket and walks out of the bathroom. I follow him, still dazed and he stops at the door, scooping me up and dropping me in the bed.

"Get some sleep, Paz. You are gonna need it." Then he is gone and I am left in my bed all by myself.

XXX

When I wake the next morning, I have a pounding headache my mouth tastes disgusting. I moan a little and crawl out of bed, the motion making nauseous and I clap a hand over my mouth, racing to the bathroom.

An hour later I make my way to the Pit and slump down on the bench with my friends.

"I am never drinking again!" I mumble, hiding my face in my arms and Ander snickers.

"You want some food?" He asks and shoves a piece of egg at me. I gag at the smell and he gives full-blown laughter. I glare tiredly at him and hide my face in my arms again. "Asswipe." I mumble and he snickers some more.

"How is it you still look amazing, even when you are hungover?" Ellie grumbles, her copper hair sticking out all over and sleep lines on half of her face. "Your hair is still glossy and amazing in your side braid. Your face is clear and the butterfly tapes over your cut on your cheekbone only makes you look fierce. Your eyes have that smoky thing going. And even though you only have on ripped jeans, combat boots and a baggy sweater, you still look amazing." She complains and I laugh a little before wincing at the sound. I shrug, my sweater slipping off a shoulder.

"It's a talent." I tell her seriously. "But it took me forever to figure it out. After Jett and I got drunk, we couldn't leave any signs so we managed to figure out a way to look normal." I explain, ignoring her shocked look. I normally don't talk about my past. At all.

"Huh. Cheater." Ellie huffs and I smile, laying my head back down on the table.

"Want some?" Raza whispers and I turn to him. His hair is all wild and the bags under his eyes tell how little sleep he got but all I focus on is the chocolate cake he is holding out. I grab it and use a fork to slowly eat it. As I eat, I slowly uncurl; chocolate making me feel better.

"Thanks." I tell him, humming in contentment as I finish the last of it. He nods absently, his eyes focused somewhere else. I see the pain flash over his face for a moment and then he looks away. Confused, I follow his gaze to Izzy and Sam kissing. I raise an eyebrow and nudge his shoulder. He fakes a smile, the hidden pain in his eyes tugging my heart. "You are an amazing guy and any girl would be lucky to have you." I tell him seriously and he nods, a sad smile on his handsome face.

"Thanks, baby girl." He presses a small kiss to my temple as I pull away and I nod.

"Pazia?" I turn and face Angel, the Dauntless leader. She has really pretty blonde hair with streaks of green and yellow in it that match her hazel eyes.

"It's Paz." I correct and she raises an eyebrow but lets it slide.

"Right then, Paz. Follow me." She orders and strides away. I stare after her with narrowed eyes for a moment and Ellie makes a cat noise. I shoot her a mock glare before sauntering slowly after Angel with a smirk. I don't do orders. I give them. Angel waits impatiently by the doors as I smoothly strut past, my head high and an arrogant gleam in my eyes. She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't comment, striding up one of the paths that line the Pit.

I follow at a more sedate pace, content to force her to wait for me every time we have to go up stairs or turn a corner. Right now, I am stretching this out as much as possible. We finally reach a door and she strides through, muttering angrily under her breath. I look around curiously, this is the farthest up I have ever been. It is higher than the fear scape room.

"Pazia!" Angel barks angrily from the room and I can't stop the shit-eating grin from surfacing. I move closer and lean against the door frame.

"You called?" I drawl, raising a mocking eyebrow. She glares angrily at me as I do my best to ignore Eric's brawny frame sitting behind the panel.

"Sit down." She snaps, gesturing to a chair in front of the panel. I slowly comply, sauntering confidently to the chair, spinning it around and straddling it. Sienna snickers behind a hand, her green eyes glinting with amusement and I smirk at her playfully as I rest my arms on the back of the chair. Angel strides angrily to her seat behind the panel and sits down, glaring at me. I meet her gaze, a teasing sparkle in my eyes that only serves to infuriate her even more.

"Now that you are here." Max begins, lifting his tablet and swiping the screen. The images fly off and hover in the space between my chair and the panel. My scores for the three stages hover in the air with little notes about me. I narrow my eyes and tilt my head to the side, nibbling on my two lip rings. "This is our evaluation of you. In Stage One, you were in the middle of the pack for a while until the Initiate Battles began. Then you plummeted to the bottom, where you stayed for the next week and half. Then you and the other initiates visited the Wall and did some work. When you come back, you rose quickly through the ranks." Max pauses and raises an eyebrow at me. I smile sweetly back and shrug a bare shoulder.

"What can I say? I found my fire." I say as innocently as possible, the wicked glint in my eyes giving lie to my words. Max rolls his eyes, used to Dauntless insolence.

"I'm sure you did." He says sarcastically and I don't hold back my short bark of laughter. "Then there was the War Games. Your team won and I was informed by Four that it was largely because of you. You took charge, named the place to hide your flag and came up with the strategy. Four said he didn't have to do a thing." Max says. "And that is high praise coming from Four." Max informs me and I beam proudly, my features lighting up.

"Remind me to thank him when we are done here." I tell them, a gleeful smirk twisting my lips.

"After the War Games, your position at slot 3 was steady. You didn't rise or fall in the ranks. And thus ended Stage One." Max notes, nodding to Sienna.

"Thanks Max." She grins roughly and I perk up, getting the feeling Sienna is pretty cool. "So we start off with Stage Two where once again, you plummet to the bottom. You did make a few leaps through the ranks but then held steady at slot 12. Then we introduced the extra classes for the initiates and you excelled at them. We make note that you have talent with our trucks and Jethro tells us you are almost restoring one that was thought to be 'a hunk of junk." She quotes and I grin, nodding enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I've almost finished. I have to run a few more tests, especially to ensure I installed the master cylinder properly. The coolant system on the other hand is working pretty damn awesome. I'm gonna be able to start doing the frame work soon." I reel off and Sienna raises a hand.

"I have no fucking clue what half of the shit you said meant so I'm gonna take your word for it." She says and I laugh again, my eyes light as I lean casually against the chair. "After the extra classes started, your score of 12 held steady and then you slowly started moving up in the ranks, in a way that most aren't able to. Once again, Four made note that you worked through your fears one at time so that they wouldn't overwhelm you and that is partially why your rise through the ranks was so slow. And then there was your...altercation with my fellow Leader, Eric. Despite the fact that a fight like that was extremely inappropriate, you did not receive a punishment but rather a boost in your rankings because of the way you held your own in a fight that others would have crumpled under." Sienna says, her voice just a little bit impressed.

"The pain doesn't get to me. I can work through it or I would have crumpled." I explain, a slightly frosty edge to my voice; warning them to not ask questions.

"Regardless, it was impressive. Equally impressive was your fast rise through the ranks afterwards. Not only were you holding the first slot in all of Eric's classes, Jethro's class and Tori's (which you enrolled into late) but you claimed Rank 2, just behind a close friend of yours. There was a note that you had relations with a Dauntless soldier, Roman Pierce." Here Sienna pauses but I don't volunteer information so she continues. "Through all of this, we have continued to note that regardless of the ranking, your fellow initiates- Dauntless born and Transfer alike- look to you as their leader. It did not go unnoticed the other day when Four stopped by your table to collect the three lowest ranking initiates that they looked to you first and only leaving after you gave them the go ahead." Sienna finishes and I grin with pride, a dark look falling over my eyes as I remember my three lost members. Taylor is growing weaker and I fear she is going to die soon. Eric picks up his tablet, distracting me and I realize he is next.

"In the third and final stage, you had 14 fears. That is the lowest of all of the initiates. You moved through your fears swiftly and though you faltered a few times, you overcame all of them." His eyes darken and I shiver. "And initiate, should you ever think about shooting me or tossing me in the Chasm again, I will be forced to punish you." He growls out and though it is meant to be a threat, my body doesn't take it that way.

"Do you promise?" I tease with a sultry smile and he narrows his eyes at me, clenching his jaw. The other Leaders exchange amused and surprised looks when his only reaction is rolling his eyes and sitting down. Angel rolls her eyes and moves forward to speak next.

"You're arrogant and proud, flaunting yourself. You are a better shot than most but not the best. You handle a dagger like you were born with one in hand. You have talent at hand-to-hand combat and your leadership skills are good. All Dauntless traits. Conner is going to tell you the positions that would be best for someone like you. I would advise you take his suggestions." Angel says bitterly and I can tell she isn't pleased at my offers. I grin mockingly at her, snickering when her glare intensifies. Conner stands up, his short stature made up for with the bulging arm muscles, flirty amber eyes and shaggy brown hair. He flashes a charming grin and I smile back. Eric growls and sits up in his seat, crossing his muscled pecs.

"Any day now, Conner." He grinds out, blue eyes fierce and I tear my gaze away from Conner to eye Eric. He refuses to look at me, instead locking an intimidating glare on his fellow Dauntless Leader.

"Relax! I'm getting to the beautiful initiates offers." He teases, winking at me and I laugh playfully. Eric's shoulders stiffen and I am inwardly dancing around at getting him to be jealous enough to act possessive in front of the other Dauntless Leaders. "So first, you have been extended an offer to work in the Mechanics Unit. It is noted that even if you don't choose it as your official line of work, you are still welcome to go back and work with them." I grin, perking up happily. "Second, you have been offered a job in the tattoo parlor, Ink and Shit. Tori herself gave the recommendation. She also says that if you don't choose the job, you can still sketch in the DR(?)-" He pauses, confused and I smirk smugly, my expression teasingly vague, knowing she means the Drawing Room. "-and will be allowed to ink yourself/other people but you will have to have a supervisor." I nod contemplatively. "You have also been given an offer from the Med Unit." He says, sounding completely and utterly confused, I roll my eyes; fighting a smile.

"I made the mistake of catching Doc with a patient that had a dislocated shoulder. Poor kid popped it out trying to jump off the train before he was old enough to learn. I calmed him down and popped it back in and it took half the time it normally takes Doc. He kept raving about how amazing I would be at that job." I explain, amusement in my eyes. Conner nods, raising an eyebrow but continues.

"You have an offer put in for Trainer for next year. That would involve training the kids and basically doing what Four and Eric have done for you." A sly smirk settles on my mouth as my gaze falls on Eric. I doubt they want me treating the kids the way Eric has me. Conner glances between the two of us, catching on. "Actually, you would treat the kids like younger siblings. Definitely not like how it was for you." Eric stiffens and I can't stop a small giggle from slipping out as Conner rolls his eyes. "Then you have an offer for Border Patrol." I perk up, visions of me and Jett patrolling together flashing in my mind. "Because of your high rank, you would be in charge of your patrol in your assigned area." Conner informs me and I nod avidly, prepared to give them my answer but he isn't done speaking yet. "And finally, you are being offered a Dauntless-Leader-in-training position." My mouth snaps shut, my teeth clicking against each other.

Well then.

This throws all of my plans in disarray.

XXX

"Hey Paz!" Ellie chirps happily, bouncing into the room. I raise a hand in greeting, and then start punching the bag again.

She wraps her fists and I join her on the mat as we circle each other.

"How was it?" I ask Ellie and she grins happily, throwing a punch that I block and return.

"Everything that I hoped it would be! I have chosen to the ambassador between Amity and Dauntless and then a part time tattoo artist." Ellie chirps, confidence in her body language. "What about you?" She asks, sweeping a low kick at me that I hop over and return.

"I had multiple offers. I am going to turn down the offers for Mechanical Unit and Tattoo artist because they both said I could still come around if I didn't take the job. I just won't get paid for doing it, which is fine. I am also going to turn down the offer for Med Unit, because-" I snort. "-that shit just isn't me." Ellie nods, dodging my uppercut and returning with a tackle. I hit the ground with a grunt as we grapple. "And...then- shit, watch the elbow!" I snap, wincing as it hits the cut on my face.

"Sorry." Ellie says apologetically but resumes wrestling. "You were...saying?" She asks, grunting as I flip us over.

"I am torn...between Border Patrol..." I twist her arm behind her back and sit on her. "...Trainer and Dauntless-Leader-in-training." I finish and Ellie freezes, a small squeak escaping her.

"You got Dauntless-Leader-in-training?!" She squeals and I roll off her back, laying beside her and staring up at the ceiling.

"Yup. But the problem is, I have always seen myself leading a Patrol somewhere. Not leading an entire Faction. I never thought I would be chosen for the job. But they said that they noticed how everyone in our group responds to me as the leader." I sigh, turning my head to look at her. "But I love the appeal of training a new batch of soldiers for my new Faction." I groan and curl into a ball. "What am I going to do?" I whine and Ellie laughs, climbing up and holding out a hand to me.

"What you always do. Think it over like a Erudite and apply it flawlessly like a Dauntless." She says simply, shrugging and I nod, unwrapping my fists and slipping my shoes back on.

"Thanks Els." I tell her as we leave and she grins over at me.

"Don't mention it."

XXX

"-and I think Ander is going to choose either Border Patrol or-" Ellie freezes and I automatically look up to see what has caught her attention.

"What?" I ask and she doesn't have to say anything. We exchange glances and continue through the tunnel, watching the Dauntless gathered around the Chasm curiously. I glimpse a foot and dread starts to stir in my heart. We push our way through the crowd and Eric looks up, sorrow flashing in his eyes for a moment before it is gone. He rises to his feet and steps towards Ellie and I.

"You shouldn't see this." He says, his voice with an edge of softness to it.

"What is it?" I ask dimly, Ellie clutching my arm as she looks at the body. Eric hesitates, looking between the two of us. "Eric! What the hell is it?" I snap and he clenches his jaw, running a rough hand through his blond hair and stepping to the side. My eyes fall on his face and my brain won't let me believe it. I withdraw into myself and it is like I am taking a backseat in my brain, looking through a tunnel. I hear a piercing scream and frantic shouts and I am just numb.

Josh's blank green eyes are cloudy and blank.

His body is waterlogged and pruny and- I gag, stumbling away. Ellie and Eric follow me.

"Izzy!" I gasp, remembering Josh is her brother. I moan with sorrow. "Oh, I should have saved him!" I cry out, rocking back and forth. Ellie wraps an arm around me and I break down, sobbing into her shoulder. Sorrow for the lost life of our best friend resonates within me and I cry for the life he lost.

"He jumped." Eric says and I shake my head violently, raising my head.

"No. He didn't. Josh would never." I respond strongly through the tears in my voice.

"He was in the bottom 4, Paz." Eric says softly as Ellie slips away to get Izzy. I stiffen. Josh was an excellent fighter and he should have dominated Stage One. He faced his fears head-on. He was the perfect Dauntless. So why were his rankings so low? Why would someone want to kill him? Confusion fills me and it mixes with a sorrowful rage. I should have noticed this sooner. I should have protected him. My shoulders shake as I realize that. I didn't save him. I start crying silently, my eyes locked on Josh's forever silent form.

I will never see his soft green eyes. Never again playfully spar. We won't get to ride the train together.

-I'm Josh.-

He won't joke around anymore.

-Smell it Izzy!-

I won't ever see him bounding through the tunnels, laughing and joking around with Izzy and Zander. He is just...gone. Tears are dragged from deep in my heart as I cry until I am gasping for breath. A hand rests on my shoulder and I throw myself forward, crying desperately into Eric's shirt. I grasp it with both hands, my whole body shaking with the force of my tears.

He stands there, steady and strong in my time of weakness.

I can't stop my tears or my cries from ripping out of my chest.

"NO! Joshie!" Izzy's desperate cry resonates in my ears and I hurry over to her. She flings herself at me and we crumple together, crying our hearts out. Zander barrels to us, seeing his best friends body and tears appear in his blue-green eyes. We drown in tears, holding onto each other, willing him to come back to life.

"No. Josh." He bows his head, tears streaking down his face. We wait but Josh never rolls to his feet, a radiant smirk on his face. His green and black hair is dark and wet and he won't ever complain about it getting messed up in training. Josh is never going to joke around and laugh with us. Josh is gone. And we won't ever get him back.

We stay there, leaning on each other and crying for the longest time.

Eventually though, someone catches my attention.

"I need you to come to the Med Unit." Doc says tiredly and I look blankly at him. "It's your friend. Taylor." He says and I scramble to my feet, racing to the Med Unit.

No. No. No. Please, no more death.

I race into the room just in time for them to pull the white sheet over her head and I crumple to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Taylor!" I scream, crying desperately and lunging at them. "Get away from her!" I shout angrily and an arm catches me around my waist.

"Paz. Please, calm the fuck down. Please." Eric whispers in my ear and I just go limp.

"They're all dead." I choke out and twist in his arms, sobbing into his neck. He pauses for a moment before his arms tighten around me and he sits down in a chair, cradling me in his arms. "They died." I cry. "Why?" I plead and he just holds me, letting me cry myself out. And I do. After the deep gasping breaths are gone, all I can do is softly cry. My heart bleeds for my friends and I don't know how to stay strong. The whole time, Eric just holds me. He let's me get the tears out of my system and when I pull away, he lets go; knowing I am strong enough.

I stand, feeling fragile and delicate.

My hair is loose and falling around my face, making me look young and childlike. My eyes are wide and dark with tears and my lips are set in a sad pout. I rub the back of my hand over my cheek, scrubbing at the tears. Eric runs his fingers down my jaw and I close my eyes; nuzzling his palm as he catches a stray tear.

"Come on." He holds out his hand and I take it, leaning on him. We walk through the tunnels and they seem unnaturally quiet. We enter the Pit and Eric lets go of my hand. My group crowds around me, tears in their eyes and staining their faces. I accept their hugs as we share our comfort and strength. We hold hands and sit at the table, huddled together as Eric steps up to speak.

"Dauntless has suffered the loss of two people today. Josh, a Dauntless born and Taylor, the Transfer that saved our Leader Max's life in a Factionless raid. Josh jumped into the Chasm in a display of bravery that few of us possess and Taylor finally slipped away. She died of a gunshot and she fought for life until the very end. These two individuals are everything Dauntless should strive to be. Strong. Fearless. Brave. And we celebrate their lives. Tonight we celebrate Josh and tomorrow, Taylor. To Dauntless! To Josh! To Taylor!" Eric shouts and the Dauntless pick up the chant.

"Dauntless! Josh! Taylor!" And they stamp their feet in a display of ferocity that few ever get the chance to see. Our group sits and watches, tears burning in our eyes as a picture of Josh is shown on the wall. I let out a sob, crying into Izzy's shoulder as she cries into mine. We cry together, heads side by side and hands clasped together.

Someone nudges us with a bottle and we accept it with watery thanks. I turn to Izzy and break the seal.

"We celebrate Josh today. And figure out why this happened tomorrow. To Josh." I raise my glass in toast and Izzy echos me, tears in our eyes as we swallow the liquid.

"Remember the time Josh refused to fight you?" Zander asks Izzy quietly and she nods, taking another gulp.

"He was knocked down a rank because of it!" Izzy laughs tearfully, beautiful amber eyes dark with sadness. Sam wraps an arm around her shoulders and she leans into her boyfriend.

"Remember the first night we got here?" I ask, taking a drink. "He was shoving your face in his armpit." I say quietly and she nods, wiping away a tear.

"Yeah. I hated it when he did that. And now he won't ever again." Izzy says, her face crumbling as she sobs in Sam's shoulder. Tears stream down all of our faces as we remember our friend. For the night, all we do is talk about Josh. We bring up his annoying moments and his happy ones.

To Josh.

May he live on in our memories forever.

You guys must hate me (only one review again) but I fully expect more reviews for this chapter! If I get-

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