Chapter 11

Magnus slumped at the foot of the bed examining his hands. His nails were a wreck. The glittery purple polish was chipped and broken in places from battle. The cracks of his palms were caked with drying lines of blood. They should have been shaking, he thought, but his hands were steady. The frigid numbness that had washed over him when his father had materialized behind Alec was a persistent vice around his lungs. The oxygen in his bedroom felt thin, and he couldn't seem to take a deep breath.

Mechanically, his fingers fumbled with the leather straps around his chest. He unbuckled the knife harness and set it down, ignoring dark streaks that smeared on the comforter. He hauled his mangled shirt over his head and used it to wipe some of the filth off his face.

His mind kept replaying the moments of the day, like an appalling home video stuck on repeat. He watched again and again as his father stepped out of the shadows and sunk one ghostly hand through Alec's back to squeeze his heart. Asmodeus had turned his blood-filled eye's to Magnus in triumphant, and he had seen the horrible question written on his fathers face. The demon had laughed, an abhorrent sound that had caused Magnus's stomach roll. He watched the pain rip across Alec's face when his father let go. He saw him fall. The world had dulled and muted as if he had been forced into icy water with his eye's open.

And then Jace had been there, roughly pushing him aside, and Asmodeus had become smoke. Magnus had watched in mute horror as Jace bent over his parabatai's still body. With shaking hands he had applied the healing rune to his brother's shoulder. The rune had flared brightly before turning silver and fading into Alec's skin. Jace had been yelling his brothers name when the room was suddenly filled with people. Shadow hunters and down worlders had surged into the room, fresh from the victory of battle. Completely numb, Magnus had let the jostling bodies push him away from Alec like a tide.

Alec had woken slowly and then all at once. Magnus had barely been able to see him through the crowd, his back pressed against the wall. Alec's hazel eye's had snapped open and when Alec gasped, Magnus had gasped along with him. With a rush, the world had flooded back into sharp, painful focus, and Magnus had let himself slide bonelessly down the wall.

He could still feel his pulse thudding in his ears at the memory. Magnus ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating a shower but too exhausted to stand. He rolled his neck, trying to loosen the tight muscles in his shoulders.

They did not have time for much rest or reflection. The attack had not been a complete victory. Valentine's body had not been found. They had left Raphael and Luke at the hotel to rally their clans. In the chaos, Magnus hadn't even spoken to Alec. The two parabatai had taken control immediately. Jace had given them a couple of hours to regroup before they were to leave for Idris. Valentine had taken a hit, but he was still out there somewhere. They needed to strike while he was weak. And that meant an appeal to the Clave.

Magnus knew he should change. His clothes were torn and singed. He had a long shallow cut on his forearm, and his breath hitched from what he suspected was a fractured rib. He still glowed with magic, blue embers crackling just under the surface of his skin.

Magnus's heart stuttered as Alec strode in, quietly closing the door behind him with one heavy boot. The shadow hunter was in a similar state of disarray. His gear was torn across his chest, and a thin line of blood marred his neck. He was unusually pale, his dark hair a stark contrast to his skin as it fell haphazardly across his forehead. Alec unbuckled his weapons belt and placed it on a table with a clatter. He shrugged off his jacket and added it to the pile. He leaned forward to assess himself in the mirror, rubbing at the blood and grim on his face. Magnus flushed as Alec's shirt rode up to show the toned muscles of his back.

Magnus felt like the gravity of the earth must have shifted, because he felt helpless to stop himself as he made his way over to the lean shadow hunter. There were a million reasons why he should send Alec away, but he couldn't think of a single one as he stood behind him.

And for some reason the day hit him all at once and suddenly he was shivering—violent whole body shivers that dashed any hopes he had of asking how the boy was doing. Dashed any hopes he had of hiding anything.

Alec let out a surprised huff of breath as Magnus pushed him against the wall roughly. He stepped in between Alec's legs, molding their bodies together and dragged the boy's mouth down to his. Alec tasted like copper and salt. Startled, Alec's hands came up and pushed through his hair. Magnus turned his head, deepening the kiss, sweeping his tongue inside Alec's mouth as their breath mingled. He made a desperate pleading sound in the back of his throat when Alec finally responded, gripping his hips and pulling him even closer. He gasped as the shadow hunter's calloused fingers grazed the small of his back. Inpatient, Magnus flicked his wrist, and Alec's shirt burned away. Alec's head rolled back as Magnus's lips traced the rune along his collarbone. "Magnus," Alec managed, his voice so low and guttural that Magnus almost lost himself completely.

But then Alec was pulling away, his hands still on Magnus's hips to keep him close. "Magnus," Alec said against his hair, kissing his temple. "Magnus, look at me." Steeling himself, Magnus looked. Alec's whiskey colored eye's were dark with desire, the green specks flashing as he searched Magnus's face.

"I'm okay," Alec said.

Magnus realized that he was still shivering, his whole body convulsing. Magnus leaned his forehead on Alec's broad shoulder, trying to catch his breath. He felt foolish, but he couldn't seem to pull himself together. Alec's thumb was on the hollow of his hip, slowly stroking it. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but it trailed fire along his sensitive skin. Magnus tore himself away and staggered back across the room to sink down on the bed. He put his head in his hands.

Magnus felt wildly out of control in a way he had never experienced before. His mind flashed on the great loves he had seen over the course of centuries. He thought of Will and Tessa and Jem. Was it possible that he had been wrong all these years? Was this painful all consuming feeling love? He thought of Camille. His feelings for her had been so real at the time but now they seemed dim and colorless compared to the technicolored feeling of just being in the same room with Alec. A door had opened in his heart that he hadn't even known was closed. The pain and joy of being with this man was so sharp that it felt unbearable.

He suddenly remembered with keen-edged clarity a time centuries before when Will had visited his flat in London. The boy had been devastatingly in love with Tessa and broken with fear about losing Jem. Magnus remembered telling him that life was about bearing unbearable loss. He was suddenly ashamed of his presumption. He had known nothing.

Alec crossed the room and knelt in front of him. As if sensing that there were no right words, Alec leaned forward and kissed him softly. His lips were achingly gentle, barely brushing Magus's. His tongue darted out to brush against the seam between their lips. Magnus opened for him, forcing back the rising panic at the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Alec pushed him back on the bed, their mouths still tangled together.

Magnus sighed as their skin slid together, and Alec's mouth moved to lick and nip at the spot above his collarbone. Alec hovered over him, his knees bracketing Magnus's hips. Magnus felt his whole body flush, and he forced himself not to grind his hips upward as Alec sat up. He admired the lean muscles in Alec's chest and stomach, running his fingers over the smooth hard skin. Alec's tongue came out to lick his bottom lip as he looked down at Magnus stretched beneath him. And then his hands were on Magnus belt buckle. "Alec," Magnus choked out, his hand wrapping around Alec's wrist. He shook his head.

Swiftly, Alec used one hand to bracelet Magnus's wrists together and lifting them over his head. Alec captured his lips again, until Magnus felt his whole body melt. The shadow hunter kissed his way along his jaw, his breath against the shell of his ear making Magnus squirm. "Do not move your hands," he demanded huskily. Magnus nodded helplessly.

Alec skimmed his hands down Magnus's body, trailing his finger along the waist band of his pants before tugging them off. Magnus moaned as the air hit his arousal, and he tried to stay still as Alec brushed his fingers lightly down his erection. His whole body twitched.

Alec bent his head toward his lap, and Magnus almost came right there. His hands gripped the shadow hunters hair, and Alec surged up over him, forcing Magnus's hands above his head once again. "You don't follow direction very well do you?" Alec asked, his eye's hooded.

Magnus arched into Alec's body, feeling fire wherever their skin touched. "Alexander," he moaned softly under his breath.

Alec was staring down at him, his face a mask of desire and something else that made Magnus's pulse quicken. "When you say my name…" he said, trailing off. His lips crashed on Magnus's again and it was less like kissing and more like they were trying to consume each other. This time, when Alec tore his mouth away, it was to kiss his way down to the hollow in Magnus's throat. His mouth trailed across his chest, and down to the tight skin of his stomach. Magnus felt Alec smile against his belly as he kissed the place where his navel would have been.

His whole body tensed when he sensed where this was going, and then he felt Alec's hot breath against his arousal. He shuddered, but felt Alec hesitate. "Magnus," Alec breathed. Magnus looked down and the sight of Alec bending over him was so wonton and wild that his whole body flushed with heat. He searched for something wise and reassuring to say to his virgin lover when Alec's mouth covered him, and words fled his mind. He arched his neck back, helpless as he came up off the mattress. Alec's hands shoved his hips down as his tongue traced the length of him. And then he was taking him into his mouth and it was so hot and wet that Magnus brought his hands down to fist in the sheets.

Alec swirled his tongue around him, and Magnus felt something wild break open inside of him. The tight grip he usually held on the magic inside of him loosened until it spiraled around them in a storm of blue and gold sparks. He grabbed at it desperately with his mind as the heat inside of him grew. With the last rational thought, he pushed the spinning magic at Alec, letting the shadow hunter feel what he was feeling. Their senses twisted and tied together as one. He felt rather then saw Alec tense as the magic did it's work.

Alec groaned and the vibration made Magnus's skin prick as he tipped on the precipice. Alec brought his hand up to stroke around the base of Magnus's erection as his tongue spread the wetness that had gathered at the tip. The magic burned in the air around them, and when Alec took him in his mouth again the light behind Magnus's eyelids sparked into fireworks. He lost all control as the waves of passion rose up and consumed him. His magic was lightning across both their bodies. He barely registered Alec moaning his name as they both found their release, the world exploding into color and light.

xxx

After, they lay side by side staring at the ceiling while trying to catch their breath. Blue sparks still shimmered in the air around them. Alec spoke first. "Um, I've never done that before."

Magnus chuckled quietly and rolled on his side. "I'm aware of that." Alec was avoiding his eye's, still staring at the ceiling so Magnus continued, "In case you didn't notice—I like it." He moved closer, wedging himself under Alec's arm until their bodies were pressed together. Alec reached over and brushed the hair out of Magnus's face.

"It's more then a little intimidating doing this for the first time with someone who's been alive for centuries," Alec said softly.

Magus smiled against his skin, "You did just fine."

Alec frowned. "Fine?"

Magnus laughed out loud this time, idly running his finger along the runes on Alec's damp chest. He leaned over and traced one with his tongue, loving the way the boy shuddered under him. "More then fine, Alec. You were like a young sex god."

He expected a chuckle but there was such a long silence that Magnus propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Alec. He touched the furrow between his brow. "What?" Magnus asked.

"That thing you did with the magic, uh, is that normal?"

Magnus paused, trying to decide how to answer. "If you are asking if I've ever purposefully used magic to enhance a sexual experience, the answer is yes. It's one of the perks of dating a warlock," he joked. Alec didn't laugh, his eye's still searching Magnus's face. He sighed, and turned on his back, his head still cradled by Alec's arm. He stared at the ceiling for a beat and then shrugged before continuing, "but if you are asking me if I've ever lost control of it before like that, the answer is no."

And then Alec was looking down at him, and Magnus could see the way his honey eyes had a dark green band around the pupil which was shot through with golden sparks. His black hair was in complete disarray, falling in charming spikes over his face.

Magnus noticed for the first time that Alec had a bruise on his temple, and he reached up to touch it gingerly. He let his thumb slide gently over Alec's eyebrow, down his sharp cheekbone, and over his swollen bottom lip. "Alexander," he breathed, "I thought I knew what love was, but this…" Magnus felt a terrible ache in his chest. "I have never known this."

He didn't expect a response, but Magnus couldn't bare to see the fear and doubt on Alec's face so he surged up and kissed him. He kept his lips gently, trying to show him without words what he couldn't say. As they kissed, Alec's thumb touched the corner of his mouth and for a moment Magnus was sure he had never felt anything so sweet.

He was so preoccupied that he barely heard the jingle of Alec's phone. But the shadow hunter turned his head, narrowing his eye's at the bedside table where the phone fell silent. He looked back down at Magnus and kissed him lightly one more time before rolling to the side.

"That's my warning alarm," Alec said. "In 30 minutes Jace will be banging on everyone's door." Magnus groaned and put his forearm over his face. Alec poked him in the side. "You go take a shower while I take a power nap. Then I'll do the same for you, okay."

Magnus nodded reluctantly but rolled off the bed. He padded over to the bathroom, feeling Alec's gaze the whole way.

"Magnus?"

He paused in the middle of closing the bathroom door. He took a second to appreciate Alec in his bed, his lean chest glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. "Yes, darling?"

Alec's eyes were closed. "Who's Asmodeus?" he asked sleepily.

Magnus hesitated for the smallest moment, his breath hitched. "Who?"

Alec didn't say anything for a long moment. His breath had deepened, and Magnus thought he might have drifted off to sleep. Alec turned over on the bed, burying his head in the pillow. He closed his eye's, and his words were muffled but Magnus still heard him mutter, "Never mind. It was just something I thought I heard."

He opened his mouth to respond, acid flooding his throat, but Alec had fallen asleep. For a moment, Magnus watched the rise and fall of his lover's back before he turned and closed the bathroom door with a click that sounded loud in the quiet room.