Another chapter. This time it is about the aftermath of Rei's evaluation. Enjoy.

Don't own NGE.

Human Misery

Chapter Eleven: Stop Thinking

I awoke the next morning in a cold sweat. You can probably say that I had a nightmare of some sort or it was just plain hot. I couldn't remember it though. It is funny how the human mind works, isn't it. Nevertheless, I still had a job to do.

Later that day I was in my office, seeing off my latest patient. (She had an affair with another man who had more social status than her present husband. I told her options and she was satisfied, I guess.) Once she left, there was a ring.

"What is it?" I asked the phone. Once again, it was the secretary.

"There's a man here to see you," she replied.

"What kind of man?"

"Well…he has a mechanical look. Short brown hair, black sunglasses…"

"And all of the characteristics that a robot would have. Send him in." I could only guess who it could be. A few minutes passed and standing at the door was Agent Smith.

"What could have possibly caused you to grace me with your presence today agent?" I asked him.

He cleared his throat and he spoke. "Such idle talk will not get us anywhere, will it M?"

"I suppose," I got up and I showed him a seat.

"I prefer standing."

"Humph, whatever. You still haven't answered my question. Why are you here?"

"My orders come directly from Commander Ikari himself. He wants you not to distract the pilots state of mind with all of your psychological questions and comments."

"Then I wouldn't be doing my job, would I agent? Please tell Commander Ikari that NERV has hired me to look into the psychological difficulties that these pilots face."

"He also says that Rei is at a risk of change if she continues this ridiculous submission to your psychological treatment. She was perfectly fine the way she was. He says that he will see to it personally that no more sessions will be scheduled with you."

I looked at him funny. "What are you, Commander Ikari's personal assistant?"

"I am just following orders. Now that you are aware of the present situation, my job is done." He gave a solemn bow and took his leave. "Have a nice day."

As the elevator doors opened and closed from the outside, I shook off this interruption. "It's all fine with me. That's one less mouth to worry about anyways." Being the person that I am, I was bound to think about that sooner or later. I continued my day without any more incidents. The day was going smoothly and the issue of Rei not seeing me anymore didn't bother me…until later that night.

It was 6:00 in the evening. The secretary was getting ready to leave.

"See you tomorrow," she said in her own cheerful way.

"Huh? Sure…right…tomorrow." I waved her off. The sun was setting and the scenery looked nice. I was distracted by this. I was also distracted by another fact…that meeting with Smith and what he said regarding Rei…

"He also says that Rei is at a risk of change if she continues this ridiculous submission to your psychological treatment. She was perfectly fine the way she was. He says that he will see personally that no more sessions will be scheduled with you."

"At a risk of change? Isn't that why NERV sent the pilots to me?" This was true. However Gendo did say that the idea wasn't his. Misato and Kozo came up with the idea. So why did Gendo agree to it? Why?

"A good question…why don't we analyze that, shall we?" When I was stressed, I had a tendency to debate whatever was bothering me with the voice within my head. It was a thing that they teach you in psychology class. I nicknamed the voice after a while. His name was 'brain.'

I quickly gave a response. "Maybe it was because he saw something that would make Rei better. He treats everyone like jerks. However to Rei…that's a different story."

Brain responded to this. "Damn straight it's a different story. It seems that he's involved with her in some way…"

"Yeah…by being her superior, being her supervisor…"

"I mean without the professional work relationship. He wanted Rei to see you…now he doesn't. Something must have happened that made him not want her to see you again."

"Okay, if you're so smart, tell me what it is."

"What did you say in your last meeting?"

"How you felt, what is it like being with these people? Oh, I raised the 'cliff' question." Then it hit me…

Looking straight at her, I asked, "If I told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"

"No…" was the reply.

I then asked her, "If Commander Ikari told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"

"Yes…" was the reply.

"So if Misato, Ritsuko or any other superior of NERV told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"

"Yes…"

"From what you're telling me, you will follow orders to the very letter. Even if it means risking your life are you still willing to do it?"

She gave me a quick glance before answering my question with one of my own. "Isn't that what I am doing right now? Risking my life when I pilot the EVA?"

Shit. She was good. She knew that defending us from angels was already putting her life on the line.

"Wow…I am impressed."

"What happened at this point that made Gendo think that you were a threat to Rei?"

I thought. I thought and I thought and I thought about this. This moment. This key moment is the answer to this question. That session was all about Rei following orders. So maybe…

"It may be a possibility that Gendo doesn't want to change Rei's order taking personality. That's why he sees me as a threat. I'm changing her." Rei didn't go home until late at night. I supposed Gendo called her about out talk. She must have gone through every detail with him. Our talk must have prompted Rei to think on her own emotions for a quick moment. She was developing a sense of independence. I suspect that Gendo doesn't want Rei to have this independability.

"So how would you put this in your words…?"

"I'M GETTING SCREWED OUT OF THE JOB!" It was my job to change these pilots or make improvements at least. I realized Rei's problem and Gendo didn't want me changing it. I was going to confront him about this issue…commander or not.

"Thanks brain."

"Anytime…" Then silence once again. I was wondering why I was caring for Rei. Better question: why was I caring for these pilots? They were only clients, nothing more. But then again…

"What would you say about your pilots?"

"…they are pilots, nothing more."

"So you don't plan to develop a relationship with your teammates anytime soon."

"No…They are pilots, nothing more."

Is that what I perceived people? They were clients, nothing more? They were co-workers, nothing more? They were jerks, nothing more? If this was the case, then I was a jerk. A big jerk. I knew I was a jerk and this didn't bother me before.

"Hey buddy, closing time!" I turned around to see the janitor. I looked at the clock. It was indeed closing time. I gathered my things and headed out the door. While I was walking towards the elevator, I couldn't help stop thinking about Rei and the other two pilots.

"What the hell were those kids doing to me? Am I picking at their brain or is it the other way around. Damn it Rei, why did you say things that would make me think!"

The elevator opened and I got in. As the doors were closing, I wore a tired face.

So our psychologist is finding trouble within himself. All thanks to Rei. What a turn of events? What will happen? Please R&R.