Author's Note: Wow guys, this feels like old times!! I'm up at 2:30 a.m. starting the next chapter! Yayayayayay. I think this is the time of night where I get the most inspiration and I just don't want to sleep. Ah well. Today was a snow day for me and it's one of those days that deserve staying up late and writing. The next chapter is not going to be that long (at least, I'm planning on it not being that long, but, knowing me, I get carried away), but it's going to be exciting (hopefully)! Also, it is in Edward's point of view, so don't be confused. Well, I think this is enough said. Enjoy the next chapter! (More recent comment at the end.)
Disclaimer: Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse are property of Stephenie Meyer. I do not own them whatsoever.
Another Side…
There is something about it that is irresistible.
Humans don't understand. They don't have the heightened senses or the brain capacity for it. I envied them, and pitied them. It was other-worldly. It was a curse and a gift. Something I was forced to coexist with and thrive on. Without it, I was nothing. With it, I was nothing still.
It was blood.
Blood on my hands, blood on my lips, blood on my tongue…
It was and still is hard to picture myself as the loathsome creature I am. Of course, it was nice to hide the fact of my present reality – to delude myself into thinking I was a respectable, admirable person. But the fact was, the cold hard truth… it was hard to swallow, even more difficult to think to myself or write in words.
The worst part was having the thoughts of someone like me to act as a mirror of myself during our "excursions". Emmett, Jasper… even Carlisle's thoughts were indescribable and verged on the point of sounding insane – not even remotely human in any shape or form. More animal-like and instinctive… God knows it has taken me years to train myself from shutting out the thoughts of both victim… and predator.
I stuffed what was left of the animal in the hole created from ripping up a tree trunk. With a loud "snap!" I slammed the tree back down in its proper place. Licking what was left of the blood off of my fingertips and lips, I thought idly about last night. It made the blood taste sweeter than usual – but it was still so bland. I suppose it could only be compared to a health drink, despite the fact I did not know what one tastes like.
"Yes…" she had said softly…
I leaned against the tree trunk and slowly closed my eyes.
"Yes, Edward, yes!"
I slipped down the trunk until I was sitting on the grass.
Yes! She said yes!
It was surprising how one little word could affect me so much. No longer were Emmett, Jasper, or Carlisle's thoughts coming through. Instead, that one little word, that one little delicate whisper, was repeating over and over again in my mind like a broken record.
Yes, yes, yes!
If my heart was still beating, I was sure it would have fallen out of my chest. Nothing compared to this feeling. I felt – I felt alive. Bella had no inkling of how much this meant to me. I knew I had been missing something in my life for a long time – and I realized that this was it. She made me whole – complete – she was mine now, and always will be.
"Yo!"
Something with great force hit me in the head. I'm sure a mere human would have suffered a concussion from such a blow. Startled, I fell over to the side, but quickly regained my composure and jumped to my feet, looking around.
"Hey lover bird!" Wake up!
Emmett was smirking at me and dusting his hands off. Glancing briefly behind me, I saw that he had thrust a rather decent-sized log directly at my face. Jasper and Carlisle strolled up beside Emmett, both smiling.
"You must really be out of it if you didn't see that one coming," Emmett laughed.
I scowled and tried to relax my tense posture. I was way too distracted today.
We're planning on going to another area – are you coming?
Carlisle always knew how to get right to the point. That was what was intriguing about his thoughts; being a doctor, he was the most organized, structured, and logical of all of us. It made me hold even more respect for him than I already did.
I considered the proposition – I was ultimately satisfied for the day. Even while hunting, I had never really focused on what I was doing. My instincts took control and I was able to ponder on something else, entirely outside of myself.
"No thanks," I said, looking at Carlisle. "I think I'm going to head back now – I've had enough for one day."
"Suit yourself then," Carlisle said, throwing me a discreet wink that made me feel years younger – at a time where I might have blushed from the gesture.
Emmett too was smiling when he said "Good – now we can get rid of the dead weight!" and punched me playfully in the shoulder. I couldn't help but grin back.
With a nod in my direction, Carlisle turned away with Emmett on his heels to the next most frequented hunting ground. Jasper, however, lingered longer, staring at me.
Jasper's mind was interesting, although not very difficult to understand. His hazel eyes scanned me briefly before –
Be careful Edward. Sometimes an extremely ecstatic feeling can leave us being careless.
I stared carefully at him for a second and tried to change my facial expression into something flat – emotionless. After all the lies and deceptions I've been able to pull off in my life, I couldn't seem to change my face this one time. I could still feel the sides of my mouth pull up into a well-defined smile. I wondered how idiotic I looked.
Jasper gave me an understanding smile and left with I know exactly how you feel.
The irony in that just made my smile broader. Feeling it is one thing – experiencing it was something entirely different.
Once Jasper had left, I was finally alone. No more constant thoughts badgering me – silence. It was nice to have those times to myself once and awhile…
Of course, I always have those times with Bella too, but I usually ended up getting frustrated – being shut out of others' minds can be more than aggravating.
"You know what you are? Extremely insecure about yourself – and a tad arrogant – and a bit of a show off at times. Because of the fact that you read minds you've become dependent on your gift to get to know others. You judge people before you actually know them."
I snorted. The conversation Alice and I had the night before still rang in my head, although I was trying hard to shut it out.
What if I do rely on my gift too much?
I brushed that question aside as well. I've had plenty of time to get to know and understand people – studying their actions, hearing their thoughts… It was almost beginning to become trivial – the times of humans.
"If she didn't have a closed mind – would you still have –
Fallen in love with her?"
My first instinct to that question was to shout at Alice a decisive and immediate "Yes, of course!" But, the more I thought about it, the more I wasn't sure. What if it truly was the fact that her mind was closed to me? Was that the only thing that had interested me? Of course there was her blood too…
Did we fall in love too fast?
I stopped in my tracks – I did not even know I was walking in the first place.
No…
Then I saw it – a kaleidoscope of pictures and memories that could never be erased from my memory. They were permanently etched forever – a brand on a back of a cow… They were all there: the good and the bad, the happy and sad, the beautiful and ugly… Visions of Bella on the first day of school – at Port Angeles – with Charlie – in the ballet studio – at the hospital – at the prom – in Italy – on the plane – at La Push – in her bedroom…
Last night…
Something came to me then – some part of that conversation with Alice that I had never really considered before…
"It's almost as if she was… made… just for you, Edward."
I think my jaw must have dropped every so slightly.
It seemed to make sense – perhaps my existence did have a purpose – to meet her.
Yes, I might have waited a hundred years, but why did I feel like it was worth every second?
It explained everything – her mind being blocked, her alluring smell, her kindness, her beauty –
The fact that we kept colliding into each other again and again…
Was she made for me? It was an unbelievably healing idea that she was created just to complete my soulless life. And it certainly pointed to this – after years, she was my only companion – the only one who ever made me whole – even after that whole mishap with Tanya years ago.
This whole ordeal is shrouded in cosmic irony. Maybe Alice was a tad right on her whole "fate" idea – but I still couldn't help feeling that what Bella and I had was more than just kismet.
What am I doing here?
The sudden sunshine was even blinding to my eyes – it couldn't be helped that my sparkling self added to the brightness. I hated that. I blinked a couple of times and stared at my surroundings.
There was no describing the place my feet ended up taking me.
The wind was faster than normal and when I glanced up at the sky, it looked like the clouds were chasing one another. The air pushed back the grass strands in the field until it looked like a whole sea rippling in time to the drop of a single pebble in water. Gold and violet flowers were pushing out of the ground and following the current of the grass. With a wild rush, I could hear the babbling stream nearby. The whole scene made me feel powerful, tender, and whole simultaneously.
It was the meadow.
Hum, funny how your subconscious controls your body.
I grinned as I walked easily forward into the warmth. So many times I have found solitude in this place…
I stopped at a peculiar white flower in the middle of all the purple and yellow. There was something about it that caught my attention – it almost looked like it was glowing – an amaranth – undying. I knelt down and plucked it from the ground to examine it further.
It had a pale, nostalgic feel about it. It was beautiful and oozed vitality, but, strangely, it was quiet and wistful too. Suddenly, I felt a longing that couldn't quite be explained – almost as if the flower had reminded me of something. My fingers slowly released the amaranth and I watched as it drifted feather-like towards the ground.
What am I doing here? This place no longer holds magic just for me alone… It is no longer just my place…
I straightened myself just as the approaching clouds blocked out the sun. Everything looked grayer now. I stared at the northern end of the meadow.
She has to be here too.
What was I doing there? I should have been at home, with her, of all days.
Home – the word was so comforting – did I actually have one now?
"Bella…" I said softly to no one.
Just as I was going to start sprinting back to my only home, I heard someone –
I froze, concentrating on the thoughts.
Repeat it over and over… Just repeat it over and over… Don't think about anything else… when you repeat it over and over… repeat, repeat, repeat, verbatim… so boring…
He was male with a huskier tone to his voice. Nothing about his thoughts indicated whether he was friend or foe.
Perhaps I should get out of here, I thought mildly, before this gets out of hand.
I swear she thinks she's the queen bee – ordering us – oh crap. Repeat, repeat, repeat – why did I join again? An expedition, an adventure – yes, that's right… dang it… repeat, repeat, repeat…
My mouth went into a flat line. These thoughts were not from the same person – this one was male as well and the essence of his voice was more shrill and shriek-like than husky. What was creepy was that both of their thoughts were eerily dull – what was with the "repeating"? Perhaps these characters were on a hiking trip…
Like I have a choice. It's more annoying than anything – I just need this one. Bright blue birds fly in the big blue sky. This should be interesting… shit – Bright blue birds fly in the big blue sky… Wonder how cute he is? She sure thinks – damn it – Bright blue birds fly in the big blue sky – Bright blue birds fly in the big blue sky – Bright blue bir…
My eyebrows furrowed. This one was evidently female who was either trying to memorize something or trying to distract herself from a love interest. I rolled my eyes. It was time to leave.
Quiet! No thinking!
Silence!
Finally, approach, apprehend, capture!
Not a single thought!
Come up from the back…
Silence! Ha! He'll know anyway!
My eyes widened – I could hear the three's silent approach – they were not hikers. I ground my teeth and debated whether I wanted to face them or get the hell out. I breathed deeply and tried to reason out my present situation. It was time to run.
I shot like a bullet towards the north end of the forest. The world zoomed past me and I relished in the freedom and the thrill of being chased from behind. If they wanted a chase, hell, I'll give them a chase!
But then she appeared out of the trees ahead – like she just evolved out of thin air.
I stopped, stupidly, only a couple of yards away from her. She had caught me so off guard. I did not know she was even there!
Oh Edward… Edward Anthony Masen… Edward Anthony Masen Cullen… she thought smoothly.
My mouth dropped marginally, but I gritted my teeth and was about to bound forward past her, when I heard the first one come up from behind me. I already knew what he looked like from head to toe before I even turned around – thanks to the others thinking and viewing his movements for me.
He was the larger and slower one of the group – the one with the husky voice. He had spiky, sandy blond hair and eyebrows set in such a way that he looked like he was perpetually angry. I sidestepped his lunge for me, narrowly avoiding a brown-haired, mousey-faced female's grab for me at the same time. The last of the three coming from behind was a tall, sharp faced male with flaky black hair and too-pointy features. He tried to kick me in the stomach but I caught his foot, twisted it to the side, and threw it into the brown-haired female's abdomen beside him. She momentarily lost her balance, but regained herself quickly while I missed yet another dive for me from the bulky one. The brown-haired female moved around the tall male – trying to sneak up on me from the side – but I saw through her intentions and flung a kick to her face to her utter disbelief.
The whole thing was like a lethal dance. Every movement was so planned out and coordinated. They flung themselves at me – and bit, and scratched, and punched – while I missed each one of them in a mad flurry. I fought with blind passion and vigor, probably making more advances on them than they were on me. I was holding my own, hoping futilely that Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett could hear the commotion – unless they had already moved on. I was looking for an outlet, a break in their offenses so that I could start running, until –
Smack!
It was a blow to the back of my knees that I did not expect at all. High-pitched giggling could be heard from the other female – and I knew it was her who had made the blow. I momentarily lost my balance, but all they needed was just a moment…
Powerful hands grabbed my shoulders, while another pair bound my hands securely behind my back. Finally, a third pair of hands wound themselves around my torso, despite all my attempts at evading them.
Finally!
Dang – he was everywhere.
Ha – we caught Edward Cullen!
I would not show them that I was secretly panicking. My eyes widened, but I held my ground. Using all of my strength, I pushed against the three holding me, digging so hard into the ground with my feet that dirt and grass ripped up. They actually staggered slightly – I saw a glimmer of escape – until it evaporated before my eyes in a millisecond.
"Oh no, we mustn't have that!"
Her white hand swung forward and smacked me in the chest, flinging me backward so that I collided into the other three, who promptly latched themselves onto me again.
I growled – and gritted my teeth at her – the other female.
She was the one from yesterday – I could not believe it. Her features were unforgettable – small, compact, and pale. She looked so easy to defeat and control – but ah, appearances are not everything. Jane suddenly zoomed into focus in my mind's eye.
Her svelte frame inched closer to me strapped to the ground by, what were apparently her three cronies. In angry desperation, I lunged forward towards her, but I was held securely hunched over.
"Holy shit he's strong!" exclaimed the brown-haired female. "Especially coming from the diet he has!"
They all snickered simultaneously. I could not help but feel like I was a cow who had strayed from the herd and had then been caught by the ranchers. I snorted indignantly and continued to push against their weight in aggravation.
"Oh, he has spirit, this one -," said the mysterious blond-haired female. "You have something worth fighting for, don't you?"
I snarled menacingly and pushed still forward.
"Could you please hurry it up a bit?" said the lanky one with the shrill voice. "This is harder than it appears."
"I could make it way harder for you, Aaron," I said scathingly.
Aaron looked briefly taken aback – shocked that I could read through his mind, despite his endless repetition of sayings. In fact, I could already see through there little charade. They were repeating lines over in their heads to throw me off – but years of being able to invade the human mind allowed me to deduce things about characters from others thought's as well. Just because he did not think about his name and standing did not mean his comrades did not either.
"Don't listen to him," said the blond female in control, her voice authoritative – her mind still disturbingly empty to me. "He's just going to try to manipulate his way out of the situation. In fact -"
The blond-haired female's hand reached to pull the backpack off of her back. I froze, already knowing what she had in mind based off the others' thoughts. I started speaking quickly now –
"Spirit of adventure Michelle? Is that what you really want? Did you know that this little adventure could get ugly, even deadly for you?"
Michelle, the brown-haired female, managed to bark a laugh in my direction. "What's the point of an adventure if death is not involved?"
"But you see, Michelle, I know what you really want…"
There was no response, so I just babbled on as the one in charge continued to rummage through the knapsack, a sour expression on her face.
"Your adventure is to win valor for yourself and thus, a certain prize to go along with that – is it not?"
It was so easy – just picking the right words was the trick. Then all their defenses drop like a domino stack – easy and plain for the mind to read.
He can't know about the clan! I can't go back empty handed – I need to prove myself somehow – or else…, she thought, panic twisting her mousey features.
"Or you, Cam – come on, you know she's just using you – quit fooling yourself," I said smoothly, sizing up the hulky looking male grabbing my torso. Distantly, I thought Emmett could take him down.
"Shut up," he growled low in my ear.
"She doesn't love you – to her, you are nothing more than her most obedient little pawn –"
In response, he crushed me lower to the ground – face almost hitting dirt – the others holding onto me lunging forward as well.
"Ah – here it is!" the blond-haired female said triumphantly. "And Cam – everyone – remember what I told you – he's just playing with your emotions. Ignore him."
She dropped her backpack to the ground and walked forward, something clanking in her hand.
I talked faster.
"Aaron – what's this worth to you anyway? You've always been treated like dirt your whole life. Would your father like this – to see his only son once again be the failure – weak – taking orders from others? Come on – the smart thing to do would just be to let me go right –"
I was met with a smack in the face.
"Oh Edward – can't you see you're just making this harder for yourself? You're not going to weasel your way out of this one – we were sent here special for you."
The blond one twirled what was in her hand in front of my face.
You know what this is for, she thought. It's time for the show to begin.
"Michelle – do you want her to take all the credit for this? You know you need to do something spectacular -," I started, running out of options.
"Did you know, Edward -," the girl interrupted, staring coolly at me. "- that your mouth is stronger than iron? And I mean that both figuratively and literally." She laughed, thinking she had said something awfully witty. "You have such a way with words don't you? And yet – you can bite through almost anything…"
She kneeled down so that she was eye level with me.
"That is why a regular gag wouldn't do much to shut you up – would it? But, here, I have something extra special – just for you."
I closed my mouth immediately and clenched my teeth – like a toddler refusing a spoonful of medicine.
She stood up and walked backwards slightly, twirling it in her hands. It was a thick chain of steel – woven more tightly than usual to allow little maneuverability.
"Just give up Edward – first we'll get you, and then I'm going to go get your precious 'Bella'".
I couldn't help myself. When she said her name, I lost all sense of my present predicament – lost all the arguments I was building up in my head – lost all of my plans of escape. Suddenly, it was just me and the small one – someone I knew I could crush in two seconds if I got my hands on her – make her pay for even thinking her name…
"No!" I yelled, half mad, and using all my strength to dive for her.
However, I had forgotten to keep my mouth shut.
She moved faster than lightning – suddenly her hands were yanking my mouth wider than it already was from yelling – putting the steel chain far into the back of my mouth. Someone took the rest of the chain and held it firmly together behind me. I felt like I could gag – although, technically, I had no idea if I could. Another person was taking duct tape and wrapping it around my mouth to seal it completely shut. Layers upon layers of tape…
The blond female stepped back to evaluate her work, while the others readjusted their hold on me. I glared at the female and immediately began to chew on the chain. It was harder than I thought.
She grinned, enjoying herself. "I like you, Edward. Your blind passion is… endearing…"
She glanced up at the others holding me to the ground.
He needs to stand up now.
My eyes widened somewhat – surprised that this was the first real thought I had gotten from her all night.
"Pull him to his feet," she commanded.
They did as they were told – lugging me roughly to my feet.
She walked toward me, slowly – as she did, the others held tighter onto me. Soon she was within inches of my face. I started pushing forward towards her again, but nobody was letting me go anywhere.
"Gold – interesting. I like that too – it goes well with your hair," she said softly. I blinked, realizing that she was talking about my eyes.
Suddenly, her hand was gently touching my face. It was cold – lifeless. I missed the warmth. I tried to shake her off, gritting my teeth in frustration.
"Hum – temper, temper." She sighed and snapped her fingers. Again I was pushed towards the ground – this time sitting on my knees.
Could she make up her mind? How the hell am I going to get out of here?
The female knelt down to my level again – way too close to my face. The urge to kill her was so strong, but I could not do anything. Stubbornly, I chewed harder on the chain and glared fiercely at her. She met my gaze evenly, looking more pleased with herself than anything else.
"I'm going to find out what is so amazing about her," she said softly, leaning in close to speak in my ear. "I guarantee you, I will. Humans are an insignificant speck. Their lives pass and fade in the changing of the seasons… But we are vampires - we are diamonds, Edward. We are forever."
I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to listen to the rational part of my brain – the part that was not mixed between utter terror, worry, and fierce aggression.
Then her ice cold hand was touching the duct tape where my lips were. My eyes opened abruptly as she began to slowly peel off the tape. The others held their breath. I did not like where their thoughts were going either.
He is the deal after all…, the blond female thought, a smile curling the edges of her mouth – her second true thought.
Oh god – please no…, I thought desperately as her ruby eyes focused on mine and she leaned in, the last of the tape sliding off across my lips. I turned away, only to be forced forward again by her hand under my chin.
"Forever," she whispered, her breath misting my skin. Abruptly, her lips were on mine, crushing me to her with more force than I thought possible. I could hear Cam stiffen, his thoughts – and suddenly, not just his but everyone's thoughts – becoming a wild blur. I tried to pull away, my lips unyielding, but I was being held in place by more than one pair of hands. Unable to fight, I just shutdown, unmoving – a statue – until she was done. Rage boiled beneath the surface of my skin as the girl ended the kiss with her lips pulling on my bottom lip. But what was worse than all of this – worse than me strapped to the ground – worse than her kiss – was this strange, sick longing in the pit of my stomach.
I don't have to be careful with her – not like Bella. I could do anything I wanted to her.
As soon as it was over, I ground my teeth on the chain and stared at her ferociously, wanting nothing more than to snap her fragile body in half.
Still only inches from me, the girl smiled sweetly, glowing almost, and watched my expression with a mixture of enjoyment and disappointment.
"Oh – I know you could do much better than that. But, I suppose we'll have to save that little conversation for later – we'll have plenty of time for that. In time, Edward, in time." She nodded to me, stood up, and flashed her eyes to the others behind me.
"Fix his mouth again," she ordered. "I don't want any screw-ups while I'm gone."
Gone? Where was she going?
Cam was the first to start re-taping my mouth – the others seeming to wear under the female's constant badgering. If only I could break their faith in their leader somehow – after all, it's a mystery these four were able to work together for so long. Besides my family and the Volturi, vampires do not do well in large groups.
"Now Edward, here is where I take my leave," the female said, her back turned to me as she picked up her knapsack once again. "But we will see each other soon, and everything will be as it should be. In the meantime," she stopped and looked at me, a sly smile on the edge of her lips. "In the meantime, I have a deadline to meet."
And with that, she withdrew a bright blue shirt, a pair of skin-tight dark navy blue-jeans, a stud belt, and a black, spiky-haired wig from her pack.
I watched in horror as the girl stripped off her own clothes, one by one, and slipped on each new item with grace and ease. I watched as the female disappeared and Alice materialized on the forest floor in front of me – with the exact same clothes I saw her in this morning. It was flawless – save her red, glowing eyes. Knowing Bella, however, she would never be able to tell the difference between the real Alice and the impostor.
In all my life – in all my incredibly long life – I had never felt more human than I did right then. That must have been the definition of human… the way I felt right then – that helplessness – that unforgettable feeling of inadequacy in comparison with all other things – that downright inferiority! The fact that, no matter what, you are not in control. You are left on the sidelines, watching. You are in the hands of fate – and fate… fate could be a cruel judge.
I could do nothing this time. I was held to the ground, staring unblinkingly as the female waved to me and glided across our group to the southern end of the field. And I watched in utmost futility as she dissolved back into the forest. My head was swimming – nothing made sense! I wanted to blackout and not think, but I was all too awake. The floor was falling beneath me, but I could not fall with it. No – I was permanent and unchanging. I couldn't fall, I couldn't flinch, I couldn't think – I couldn't feel, or hurt, or need anything.
I couldn't do anything.
Suddenly I was choking on the chain inside my mouth – choking! Was that possible? I did not know why, but I could feel my lips burning under the tape, my face contorting and changing into something I, at first, did not recognize. My eyebrows deepened and my eyes felt swollen, like they were going to fall out of their sockets. Indeed, it felt like I needed to suck in oxygen, but in retaliation to this need I just bit down harder on the chain, the metal clanking against my teeth. I didn't need to breathe – what was the point? I was what I was.
It wasn't until they all formed a circle around me, did I realize what was happening to me.
I was – I was crying.
The expression was so foreign to me, made even more so by the lack of tears on my face, that I had to dredge up a memory from my former life to even remember the feeling:
The rain was pouring and the streets were filled with a mist that reflected the faint rays of the oil streetlamps. Cobblestones still paved the way for many late travelers during the darkening hours before sunset. Despite Chicago's reputation in 1908 as an expanding industrial town, it was still traditional in many ways – including the prompt return home of businessman and artisans alike in the waning hours of day. In the rush to get home, nobody took notice of the boy lying in the middle of the street, forgotten and shaking in a muddy puddle.
Someone approached from an alleyway to the left side of the boy. The boy's head flicked upward with momentary interest and alarm, but abruptly hung low again on his shoulders. Sulking.
The figure moved towards the boy with concealed fluidity and utmost care. The figure was female, with a slight, tight build reflected in her stride. When the woman reached the boy on the road, she crouched to his level, arms on her knees, and her rain coat draping around her like a dress into the puddle.
"What are you doing here?" the woman asked the boy. The boy remembered that the woman's voice was usually strong like a general giving orders in the army. He could still hear a hint of that commanding sound, but after saying the one little sentence, the voice sounded more like a mixture of relief and worry.
The boy didn't answer – just stared at the dirt that was caked underneath his fingernails, stained into his pants and jacket, and molded into his tousled hair.
The woman sighed, her voice now strained. "Where have you been? Your father will be home soon. What do you think he'll say about this?"
The boy, again, refused to answer. Instead, he bit his lip and tried to cease the insidious tears flowing up into his eyes. His father wouldn't be happy, that's for sure.
"I've been looking for you for hours – what happened to you? Please, please tell me what happened," the voice implored, seemingly on the verge of tears herself. Her arm extended until it was rubbing the back of the boy in the puddle.
The boy shook his head. He couldn't tell her what happened. How could he? It was too brutal and even more embarrassing – one more reason why he was weak. How could he tell her that the Richard boys threw the baseball into his eye today and then proceeded to pummel him into the ground again? How could he tell her that her son's lanky body was useless in battle – that he couldn't even stick up for himself even if his life depended on it?
"Why won't you talk? Please, talk," she crooned again.
He shook his head once more, his shoulders shaking until his whole body began to convulse. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks and each time he wiped one tear off his cheek, another would follow in its wake.
Suddenly, there was a pulling under the boy's chin – his head jerked upward until he was staring into the woman's eyes – a crystal emerald that pierced straight into his heart. Even in the rain, her strange copper hair fanned her face like something out of a painting. And as Elizabeth Mansen stared at her son, she too took in his disarrayed bronze hair that turned whichever way, no matter what they tried to do to control it, and his own bright green eyes that were now softened after his recent onslaught of tears. It was odd how so alike and yet so different they were from each other. She too noted his black and blue right eye, his scraped left cheek, and the mud that dotted his face like freckles. His nose wrinkled as he closed his eyes and tried to look away. She held him still.
"It was the Richard boys, wasn't it? Look at me," she said quietly.
He only gritted his teeth.
"Look at me!" she said now, more sharply.
Reluctantly, his eyes propped open to look at her. She gazed as fiercely as she could back at him.
"Listen, and listen well! Don't ever go wandering without telling me where you are going again – you had me worried sick! Do you understand me?"
He merely nodded, or what resembled a nod since her hand was still under his chin.
"And – I won't tell your father what happened, if that's what you wish," she said curtly. The boy's eyes widened in astonishment.
"But you must promise me something," she said, her voice somber and contemplative. "You know, I won't always be there for you. I want to protect you from everything, but I can't. I simply can't. Life is harsh, cruel, and long. You must be able to stick up for yourself when the time comes…"
The boy shook his head, harder this time. Couldn't she see that he couldn't fight? That he was simply unable (and unwilling) to do so? How could she expect him to be able to defend himself?
"And I don't mean stick up for yourself in perhaps the way you're thinking now," Elizabeth said, almost like she could read his thoughts plain on his face. "What I mean is, you must promise, promise that you will never give up – that you will never give up the will to live. I don't want you to keep trying to please everyone, the way you do all the time – that is impossible. I want you to proceed through life defiantly and unafraid. Sure, there are some frighteningtimes, but as long as you get passed those, you'll always know that a good time is up ahead. I want you to promise me that you'll never give up and nothing more."
The seven-year-old eyed her carefully, something coming over him like the trickle of warm bath water across his skin. Suddenly, he understood what she meant – he could see her point of view of the world. All she was asking of him was, whether he lost bitterly or won triumphantly, he would give his best at everything and never lose sight of hope. Hope, he could see now, was all that kept this world going. Hope was the most human emotion there is.
"Yes mother – I promise," he said softly, the tears stopping their persistent flow.
"Good – now let's get you cleaned up," she said and helped her son up to his feet. She kissed his scraped cheek and planted a few butterfly kisses on his nose which produced a reassuring giggle from the boy. "I will always be with you," she murmured into his ears and poked her finger into his chest by his heart. "I love you so much Edward."
She fought until the end – protected me until the end. Even when I almost gave up – broken my promise in the hospital – she came to the rescue. She gave me another chance.
I was crying for two people now. I was crying at the resurrection of a so long forgotten memory. I was crying because I knew, this time, I was not going to give up. I was going to live up to be the protector I had always strived for – the protector that the two of them had always been to me without even realizing it.
My eyes opened – I had not even noticed that they were shut – and I glared upward at the three people strapping me down on the ground, studiously ignoring my shaking frame. Aaron had thick chains in his hands that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Michelle and Cam held me down as Aaron twisted the chain around my wrists. I did not fight, just stared ahead – calculating. I remembered what I saw in Alice's vision and with a slight twinge I discovered that this was it – no use denying it. I knew though that if I complied, I would be taken directly to where Bella soon would be, instead of trying to escape and find her on my own. I sniffed the air and concentrated. I did not need to open my eyes to know that Michelle had suddenly moved from behind me to in front of me.
"What do you know about the clan?!" shouted Michelle at me.
"Michelle…" warned Aaron.
"Shut up you weasel!" she barked. "He can't know anything about this – how could he?"
Her thoughts indicated her bewilderment. I opened my eyes and gazed up at her, one eyebrow rising.
Couldn't she see I was strapped to the ground and gagged like a stuffed pig?
"I want to know!" she said. "Let's take off his gag."
She raised her hand and was darting toward me, when Cam stopped her.
"Wait!" he shouted. "Remember, we can't listen to him – he tells nothing but lies."
Michelle's mouth quivered, bemusement crossing her features. "I thought I was doing so well – I thought, I thought…"
I thought I was blocking my mind from him.
I almost smiled, but the tape on my mouth prevented me from doing so. I could sense Michelle's frustration. The truth was nobody could truly block their mind. Except, apparently, two people…
Now Michelle's arm was shivering. I could see the punch before she even did it. I dodged her as her fist flew passed me, only inches from the side of my face.
"Ugh!" she roared and lunged for me as Cam twisted around from behind me to stop her.
"Stop that! You know Eliza and Victoria made a deal! She's going to be pissed if you do anything more to him!"
Eliza – that was her name. It was the first time I had heard the blond-female's name either in thought or aloud. It shocked me that even Cam could keep her name locked up for this long. But immediately I felt like this name was a lifesaver that had been thrown my way.
Eliza. I know your name. I'm coming for you and I'll find out what you are up to.
Someone wrapped a blindfold around me, but I did not care. I did not care as I was again pulled roughly to my feet. I did not care as someone prodded me forward by the small of my back. And I tried not to care as Bella's lifeless body strapped to a chair kept invading my thoughts.
I breathed heavily through my nose, our pace picking up through the forest. The three jumped at the noise, tightening their grip on me – thinking I was going to run.
Little did they know that the vision of Bella had made my decision as protector more absolute. I could feel the presence of a darkening sky around me, even though I was not looking at it. I bit into the chain and one of the links broke.
I'm coming for you Eliza.
And then I'll kill you.
--
AN: Hey guys! Finally finished – I know I've taken awhile – as you can tell by my former comment (it's freaking HOT here now for your information. I mean like butt-sticking-to-leather hot and water leaking out your pores hot). I'm happy to say that school is coming to a close so I'll probably have more time to update – hopefully. This was an exceedingly fun chapter to write by the way – although not as long as others. XD Edward's point of view is intriguing to write about – and also very hard. Hopefully he's as in-character as possible.
Also – about the "amaranth" that Edward was referring to earlier. A real amaranth flower is actually purple-reddish in color – I know that. What he is talking about are amaranth flowers featured in mythology and legend. They are imaginary, immortal flowers. Basically, he's comparing his emotions for Bella to the flower. )
I'd also like to take a moment to thank everyone for keeping up with this lagging story and commenting. Again, those comments are encouraging and great motivators for me to keep writing! So please – for those of you who have just started reading Gravity, before favoriting or gagging at my lameness, please comment why you either like or dislike this story. It helps me grow as a writer. Critiques are open and welcome.
Thank you guys again!! Can't wait for August! ;D