Author's Note: I'm happy to hear everyone's approval of Mrs. Fredrick, don't worry all your questions will be answered soon.
RAVargy: Yes, you were dead on; I just didn't want to say anything till I got that last chapter out. I'm so happy to see you're making connections between the older characters with the younger ones.
Inspired by Music: Missy Higgins- The Special Two. Damien Rice- 9 Crimes. Missy Higgins- Warm Whispers. (Personally I like music when I'm writing or reading. So if you're like me, then that's what I was humming too.)
…
I'm not here. I'm back home, in Tennessee. I'm sitting by the window watching the autumn leaves fall with my mother's arms wrapped tightly around me. She smells like the fresh cookies we've been baking. The house is warm. A car passes by. A leaf falls. I'm not here. I'm not here…
"Miley?"
My mind rushes to the now. My mind re-plays in a swift forward motion everything that's happened. Is it possible to crush under some kind of invisible pressure? Because I feel something pushing down on me, a strange weight slowly pulling me in deeper. But then I focus and see her standing next to me. She's holding out her hand.
I take it, and she pulls me up, up from my wallowing hole. "Are you okay?" She asks.
I nod and collect my thoughts then meet her blue stare. "Yeah Lily, I think so. I'm just glad you aren't suspended."
She smiles. "I'm glad you're not suspended. What were you thinking?" She laughs.
"I was thinking that if you go down, I go down too. You jump I jump Jack." I say seriously pulling her closer.
Lily rolls her eyes. "There you go again, saying something perfect."
"Kiss me." I say softly.
"We're already in enough trouble…" Lily says her brow knitting together.
"Which is why it shouldn't matter, kiss me?" This time I'm questioning it. I want to kiss her, here in the empty school hallway, to prove that it doesn't matter. To prove that I love her, even in the light.
She obeys with smiling lips. I can taste her raspberry water that she drank at lunch. I can smell her perfume.
"Girls."
We pull apart, but slowly this time. It's Mrs. Fredrick she is tapping her foot and glaring at us. "I just defended you. The least you two can do is stay off one another, so Principal Frost won't rethink his suspension idea."
Her voice is still very tight from her argument. But Lily, oddly, just smiles and giggles a little to herself. "Now," Mrs. Fredrick continues, "I would like to formally apologize for the scene that I and Mr. Frost displayed while in his office. It wasn't right for either of us to expose ourselves to you in that manner."
"It's fine," I say, "But are we going to get an explanation? I mean what was that?"
"You should have socked him." Lily mutters under her breath. I jab her in the ribs with my elbow. "Ouch!" She yelps and I quickly whisper a 'sorry.'
Mrs. Fredrick rubs her temples tiredly. "It's a rather long story."
"We've got all three periods!" Lily chirps in happily. (Doing anything to miss the rest of the day.)
Mrs. Fredrick looks at Lily with her green eyes and smiles. It's not her usually half Mona Lisa like smile, but a true smile. It lights up her face, I try and imagine her back when she was younger. I've seen an old photograph of her, one in color. She had long red hair. For a spilt second I can see her as a teenager. And then it's gone.
"You remind me of an old friend." She whispers.
"Molly?" I ask timidly. "The girl from the picture?"
Mrs. Fredrick looks over at me with remorse. She breathes out heavily, but nods. "Was she…" Lily begins scratching her ear nervously. "Was she… your girlfriend?"
"I believe that is more then enough questions for today." Mrs. Fredrick replies quickly. "The heart, girls, can only take so much."
It's now, as we watch Mrs. Fredrick flee in the opposite direction, that I know her heart is as deep as the ocean, and we have only just begun to uncover it.
"I'm totally transferring to art!" Lily says as we walk to sixth period. I can't help by crack a small smile, we intertwine hands again. Ready or not here we come.
The rest of the school played out darkly. A few kids in the hallways would snicker or point. Old friends, girls in particular, seemed to flee from me as if I had the Black Plague. They probably think my disease is gayness, and if they stick around it might just catch them. Idiots, Lily said they were she told me (with her adorable eye roll) that it will blow over. I hope she's right.
"Miley Stewart!"
I close the door and turn to face my dad. He is standing up by the living room couch.
"I received a call today from school saying you got into a fight? What's going on with you?"
I don't feel like explaining. In all honesty I feel completely drained. "Lily punched Ashley… we sort of… came out to the school today and no one took it well." I sit on the couch and sigh heavily. What is going with me? What's happening to my life?
"Oh Miles…" His face softens and he seats himself next to me. I let him embrace me and I like the contact. Just knowing he cares, he accepts me, it helps. "I'm sorry bud. You and Lily shouldn't have to deal with that. But you know? It'll all blow over soon, okay?"
I laugh and hug him tighter. "Lily said the same thing to me today."
"Well she's a smart girl."
We smile. He kisses my cheek and all over again I'm five years old. I like knowing that I will always be his little girl. He is my comfort.
"Thanks daddy." I whisper.
Lying down on the couch I have a silent battle within myself. To call or not to call, that is the question. I daggle the phone by its cord, my cell phone is still in my bag and the kitchen one was closer.
Lily and I never confirmed if we were still on for the movie night. So, here I sit with a bowl of popcorn and the video already set in the VCR. I should call her. But then again maybe she's still digesting what happened today. No, I should call we should be together wallowing the days events. No, no, no, just let Lily be. Oh, why is this so hard? I mean I'm Hannah freakin' Montana nothing scares me!
I pick up the phone and start dialing. Please don't let her mom answer, please, please don't let her mom ans-
Ding Dong
Hanging up quickly and throwing the phone down I race to the door. Lily is standing, smiling brightly, and holding up two chocolate bars. She walks in bouncing lightly as she drops her purse and settles on the couch. "I'm so ready for movie night!" She says, still beaming up at me.
"I wasn't sure if you were coming." I say breathing out.
"Please, and miss spending time with you? Get real!" Lily laughs grabbing my hand and pulling me down on the couch. She wraps an arm around me and I snuggle into her shoulder.
"What are we watching?"
I smile and push play with the remote. The VCR makes a tight squeak before the scene comes alive, in black in white. "Psycho!" I tell her.
"Alright! I love Alfred Hitchcock!" She cheers. "Pass the popcorn and let the shower scene begin! Hey did you know they used chocolate sauce for the blood?"
"Are you serious?" I giggle as the beginning credits start and the music fills the dimly lit living room.
"Yeah! Cool huh?" Lily kisses my cheek and we embrace tighter. "Scary movies aren't so bad as long as you have someone to hold." She whispers in my ear. I shiver with the feeling of her lips so close and warm next to my skin.
"Oh man!" I shriek as Norman Bates comes charging down the stairs and stabs Detective Milton Arbogast in the back.
"It gets me every time!" Lily shudders hiding her face in my neck. We hide our faces from the screen with one of the couch pillows.
"Is it over yet?" I whisper.
"Not sure, you check." Lily smiles.
"No you." I grin.
"No you." Lily giggles pulling the pillow away from me. I sigh and she puts the pillow back down and kisses me on the lips.
"Is that okay?" She whispers huskily as we part. "I mean can we do that here? With your dad and brother home?"
"I don't care." I say hastily pulling her face to mine. Somewhere behind the sound of Lily's long ragged breaths I can hear the movie's music playing. The credits roll. Lily giggles against my mouth. I take the time to watch her in this light. Her skin is glowing. Her hair is twisted in a French braid. I rest my hand on her hip. We are seated both Indian style on my couch. I want to be closer. There is so much more of Lily's skin that I want to explore.
She takes my hand and examines it. She runs her finer across the lines on my palms. It tickles and I bite on my lip to keep from laughing. She runs her fingers over mine and I smile. She is warm and soft. She runs her whole hand up my arm and settles on my neck. She strokes my cheek with her thumb.
"You're so beautiful." She whispers, her fingertips lightly dancing over my lips now. I'm under her spell. Our eyes lock together. My body is tingling everywhere that she has touched. I don't know what to say. I should say that she is beautiful too, because she is. Or maybe I should say that I love her, so much, too much.
I decide on a kiss. I lean in wrapping my shivering body around her. My lips land on her crinkled nose as she laughs. Lily falls back into the couch and I lay on top of her. She loosely ties her arms around my waist. Perfect.
"Perfect." I tell her.
The kitchen clock chimes. "Oh! What time is it?" Lily asks quickly pushing us up.
"Almost ten." I yawn playing with the strands of her hair that are falling down.
"Shoot!" Lily hisses standing up and searching for her shoes. "I need to go."
"I thought your curfew was eleven for a school night?" I frown sliding my feet off the couch.
"It was… until we started dating." Lily smirks.
I roll my eyes, and then the thought hits me. "How'd your mom take the news about us almost being suspended?"
"Badly." Lily groans. "She's still trying to understand it. She and Mr. Frost are going to have a meeting."
"I'm just surprised she let you come out tonight." I laugh fixing my bun.
"Yeah… I sort of maybe snuck out." Lily says hastily putting on her coat.
"Lily!" I shout. "Your mom already hates me now! She's never going to accept us if you sneak out of the house!" I stand up and meet eyes with a smiling Lily.
She gives me her puppy dog eyes. "But it was movie night." She replies in a baby voice. I sigh angrily.
"Lily, we need to…"
"To what? Come on Miley, I want to be with you, my mom will get over it."
"Fine. Just don't make it a habit." I say giving her hands a squeeze. She smiles an open mouth smile showing me her white teeth. She kisses my fingertips and nods.
"I promise, only my best behavior."
Reluctantly, I let her go. I always like to watch her get into the car and pull away. I always like to know she is safe. Through the curtains I can see her waving from inside Pinkerton. I shuffle a laugh and wave back. The night is over.
Slowly, I pick up the popcorn and drinks. Those go into the sink. Next, I rewind the video and place is neatly in its plastic case. Faintly I can hear my dad strumming on his guitar, a nightly ritual he does right before bed. I hear Jackson typing on his laptop; hopefully he's finishing that biology report.
I fix the pillows. A new feeling creeps up inside of me now. I miss her. Stupid, that's so stupid, she was just here. I sat there hugging and kissing her, but I miss her. I close my eyes and try to think of something else. But there she is, in my head, in my dreams. A small smile teases my lips. I wonder if she misses me too. I wonder if she thinks of me.
"You're early."
She always scares me. I nod and quickly place my bag down. Music is playing loudly over the computer speakers. It's sad, melancholy and makes my heart sink. Mrs. Fredrick turns her speakers down and turns her attention to me.
"What was that?" I ask pointing to the computer.
"Yo Yo Ma's Lady Caliph: Nocturne." She replies sighing and shoving a few papers into a small folder. "You do realize Miss. Stewart that it is only roughly seven o'clock in the morning?"
"Well considering I drove here, yes." I laugh.
"Fine, what do you want? I'm a busy woman."
"I want the truth. I want to know why you are like this and why Mr. Frost hates… people like us."
Mrs. Fredrick stands still. She grabs a wet paintbrush and wipes it off with a paper towel. Did she not hear? I wait. She doesn't look at me. "I would have thought Miss. Truscott would be here with you."
"Well I thought… I thought you were more comfortable with me because I thought we were…"
"Friends?" Mrs. Fredrick snorts. "You assume that you and I are friends?"
"Some what." I say shrugging. Judging from her scowl and shaking head I'd say I was very wrong.
"Fine, maybe not friends, but I thought you trusted me that you enjoyed talking with me. Now if you would explain some things to me."
"Like what?"
"Who is she? This girl, the one in the photos and paintings?" I sit up on my desk and wait.
"Her name is Molly Goldberg." Mrs. Fredrick says after a moment. She sits down and scratches a place behind her ear. "Mr. Frost, Charles, Molly, and I were very good friends in high school."
She pauses. I hold my breath, there's something about someone telling you their life story that is so thrilling. "And Mr. Frost fell in love with Molly, right?" I say, gaining a little confidence to ask.
"He did." Mrs. Fredrick smiles smugly. "But he was too late. Molly and I got together during our senior year. After that we had a bad fall out and after graduation we never saw Charles again. Molly was devastated; she and Charles went farther back."
"Tell me about her." I ask, I don't want to push her too far but I also have to know. I want to understand Mrs. Fredrick.
"She was… beautiful." Mrs. Fredrick trails off and then searches through her bags and pulls out another wrinkled picture. "I sometimes carry pictures of us around. Here's one of her in 1980."
I take the picture and almost drop my jaw. It's a much closer picture of Molly. Long black raven hair, almond shaped eyes in the lightest shade of blue they look almost gray. She's sitting on a porch swing looking very serious with her lips set in a thin line.
"Why do you carry her picture?" I ask handing it back.
Mrs. Fredrick just shrugs. "I don't know, for inspiration on my paintings… for memories." She tucks the picture back in her bag.
"Tell me more." I beg leaning forward.
"She was lively. Molly couldn't sit still for more then a minute. She was so bright; you couldn't help but smile in her presences. We were happy; we were free sprits Molly and I. We traveled all over the world when she became a photographer. She worked for a travel magazine. She'd take pictures and I would paint. It was heaven on earth."
Somehow I know something terrible is coming. I can feel is approaching like the grime frown forming on Mrs. Fredrick's face.
"What… what happened, Mrs. Fredrick?" I whisper shyly.
"She died." With no hesitation she told me. With no pause or shaky in take of breath Mrs. Fredrick just blurted it out. Her eyes are no longer shinning, their dull, their dim. "She was diagnosed with brain cancer… and she died."
I sit back. I want to weep for Mrs. Fredrick but I know her character, she wants no pity. I feel my heart cry out and openly. I can't speak for a moment, what do you say when the love of someone's life is dead? You say nothing. You let them morn with their memories and hug them. But this is Mrs. Fredrick, so I let her morn alone.
"It's perfectly all right Miss. Stewart. There's no need to become upset." She sits up a little straighter, gathering her pride that has shattered.
"Did you ever… did you ever find someone else?"
"No." Mrs. Fredrick replies sharply and fiercely. "When you find that person, Miss. Stewart, everyone else simply comes second. When you let your heart open to that one person… it only happens once. I'm just happy to have known such joy."
"So why are you here?" I ask gesturing to the classroom, the school. "Don't you feel… caged?"
Mrs. Fredrick smiles sadly. "Sometimes, but Mr. Frost wasn't always the principal here. A man by the name of Harold Hues was once a good friend of mine in college and when he become principal he offered me this job after Molly died. I took it because well… I had nothing left; you have to understand my position. I was a penniless artist. Molly was gone and I had no money. I wasn't the most pleasant person in those days… if you can imagine." She smirks here.
"So you took the job." I shrug.
"Yes, and then Harold was promoted to the school board and Charles was appointed principal, he wasn't very happy when Harold forbid Charles to fire me."
"But why don't you leave now?" I insist.
"I like it here. Mr. Frost is a pain and I dislike his greatly but I have so many memories here. Miss. Stewart I attended this high school."
"Really?!" I reply.
She nods. "Sure it's been re-done over the years but I believe my initials are still carved into the wooden bench outside of this art department. After I began working here, I truly loved teaching. And I've finally found stability in my life. I'm as happy as a person in my shoes can be."
"You are a remarkable person Mrs. Fredrick." I tell her with all my utmost sincerity. She just grins and brushes my comment off with a wave of her hand.
"No need to flatter me Miss. Stewart you already have an A." She jokes and I can't help but laugh a little. "How are you doing?"
Her question surprises me. I open my mouth but nothing comes out, how am I? "I'm tired." I say after a quick second. "I just wish I was done with high school, away from everyone here, away from their judgment."
"Very understandable." She admits to me. "But in time the students and teachers will come around. It scares them, you know, the change. Normally women don't come out as being lesbians till their forties. It's rare that young girls admit it to anyone, even themselves. But you and Miss. Truscott, I'm proud of the both of you. Don't give up, don't give in Miss. Stewart."
With this said she stands up gracefully and swoops past me and into her small supply closet. Just as she is about to close the door she turns on her heel and stares at me. "I'm glad we talked. I'm glad to have a… friend."
The door closes.
I can't help the smile that leaps up onto my face as I gather my things together and walk down the hall. My mood isn't broken even as a group of sophomore girls scatter as I walk past them. My mood is still in perfect shape as I past a few wolf whistling seniors (men are pigs.)
At the end of the hallway there is a light, there is Lily smiling. She's holding my books and as soon as I'm in listening distance she starts rambling about Pinkerton, gas, work, school projects. I hum softly as I sit through my classes. I'll tell Lily about Mrs. Fredrick later, when we have more privacy.
"This way." I say waving Lily over. The school day has ended (Oliver wasn't here today.) Lily comes trailing behind me. We're standing next to the art department a little ways away from the rest of the school and the court yard. There's a small wooden bench seated in the mist of a small patch of flowers.
Thanks to our gardening club we have a small tree area. The bench is between two growing oak trees, still very small but in the years to come they will be very great and loom over the school. It's a beautiful area, but I hardly come this way. It's separate from the rest of the school grounds. Suddenly I feel like Mary Lennox from Frances Hodgson Burnett's novel The Secret Garden. I understand the healing powers that nature holds.
I sit on the bench and smile Lily follows me and sits close to me. The day is overcast and a little chilled, but when spring arrives this will be the most attractive and colorful area.
"I found it!" Lily says breaking me from my thoughts. She's pointing to a small place on the edge of the bench close to her knee. We get up and examine it. It's a little faded now, but there it is: J.F – M.G '78, carved deeply into the wood. I smile and trace my fingers over it.
They were here. I wonder if Molly sat where I had. It's strange knowing that Mrs. Fredrick and Molly were here so long ago, back when they were young, free and in love. It's sad thinking that they had no idea what was to come. I try and picture them, laughing and teasing each other as they placed their mark on the world, on this wood.
I see Mrs. Fredrick, long red hair, and happy, her green eyes shinning with joy.
I see the beautiful Molly smiling as she pierces the wood with her initials.
"It's sweet," Lily smiles, running her index finger over the letters, "I think it's sweet."
"It is."
"Hold on." Lily says getting up from her kneeled position. She runs off and into the art department door. She comes back, a moment later, holding one of the small pocket knives the wood shop students have. "Let's make history." She smirks sliding the knife out.
Lily bends down and begins carving. I watch her sitting on the other side of the bench. She has her tongue sticking out as she slowly and carefully makes our love known. "Tada!" Lily cheers closing the knife.
On the opposite side of where Mrs. Fredrick and Molly have their names is: M.S + L.T '09. I roll my eyes. "We just copied them." I say laughing.
"So what?" Lily huffs standing and brushing off her jeans. "It was a good idea." She leans over and kisses my cheek.
"I love you." I tell her softly. The corners of her mouth lift up and she smiles brightly.
"Glad to hear it other wise me telling you that I love you too would sound so ridiculous."
We share a laugh and then I decide we better get going. "Come to my house." Lily begs as we walk to our cars.
"What?" I say fumbling with my keys.
"Yes, please come, just for a little while." She gives me her sad eyes and I realize that I can't refuse.
Lily and I are laid out on her floor playing a fun game called our future. Because homework is a boring and tedious task we're leaving it be for the minute. "Okay." I smile sitting up a little and getting comfortable with one of her couch pillows. "After high school I'm taking you around the world."
"What?!" Lily shouts, her eyes widening. "We can't do that?"
"Who says?!" I smirk holding my head up a little higher. "I'm pop sensation Hannah Montana and you're my girlfriend, we can do whatever we want."
"I don't want you paying for everything. I'd feel like… I just wouldn't feel right." Lily sighs, picking at a loose thread of a pillow.
"Well, I'd be going too. And I'd be with you! Believe me; I'm getting so much out of this plan." I slide over to her and place my hand affectionately on her knee.
Lily just stares down. "Haven't you already been everywhere with touring and all."
I pick up her chin with my finger and make her look at me. "But not with you…" I add softly. "Just picture it! You and I lounging at a corner café sipping coffee out of those small round mugs. And us shopping in Paris, going to shows! We could take off a year before going to college. And then when we come back home we'll be well rounded and cultured blowing our professors away with all our worldly knowledge, doesn't that sound exciting?"
Lily smiles and leans back, resting into the front of the couch. "It sounds amazing."
"It's settled then, start saving up for a passport Miss. Truscott because we're seeing it all! Just you and I." I smile snuggling up against her arm.
Lily lays her chin on my head. "So what about after college?"
"We'll have our degrees."
"And then?"
I stop and stare off at Lily's living room pictures. There's one of Monet's Water Lilies, and the one of the trees I'm not sure what it's called. "Well… I suppose we'll have to get real jobs, unfortunately we got go off gallivanting forever."
"Too bad…" Lily laughs in my hair. "So, what are you going to be, do? …Don't you sometimes hate that question? I feel like… like people are stealing my childhood when they ask me about the future. It seems that they are so concerned about getting us through school, college, careers that they forget about the now. About life and just… being." I hug Lily tighter.
My heart is warmed over her confession. I feel so… inspired and full of something I don't even know. Being with a girl is so tender. When I dated boys it took all my time and energy to get them to open up like that. But with Lily, it's just there, she's my best friend. I know her. I have a deep connection with her that runs further and wider then just physical appeal. She's like my umbrella on a rainy day… or maybe my rubber boots. Lily once said she loved red rubber boots; she had a pair when she was younger.
"Anyway," Lily blushes pulling away from me a little, "I still would like to know what you want to do, with your life."
"I want to…" What do I want? God, that's such a weighted question. What could I possibly see myself doing? "I want something with music. I know Hannah won't last forever so maybe… maybe I'll open my own recording studio. Maybe I'll find kids who don't have a lot of money but have the talent, I'll help them. Get them going, you know?"
"That sounds good for you." Lily assures me.
"I know you hate this question," I smirk, "But what about you?"
Lily sits and spaces out. She's in deep thought, biting her bottom lip. "I'm going to write." She says boldly. "I want to be a writer. I don't care how long it takes or how many people put me down, I'm going to do it."
"And I'll be there, supporting you all the way." I state firmly holding her hand.
"Will you?" She asks her voice timid.
I put my other hand on top of our intertwined ones. "You can count on it."
"How do you know everything?" Lily smiles.
"Oh, haven't you heard? I'm totally physic." I pretend, acting serious.
"Really?" Lily smirks raising her eyebrows.
"I have the long fingernails and crazy gypsy's clothes to prove it." I laugh swiping a strand of my hair out of my eyes.
"Ooh, sounds hot." Lily jokes kissing me softly on the cheek.
Hot?
It's funny; Lily's called me beautiful, but not hot. Hot belongs in a completely different category then beautiful. Hot is jumbled up with sexy and all the other degraded words people use on women. Hot reminds me of… sex. Isn't that a funny word? My mind has also made two different categories for sex and love making too. Sex is slang and unpleasant to use. But love making is romantic and less vulgar.
What about me and Lily? Will we ever… do that? I've never really thought about it. Am I ready for that? Are we ready, together as a couple? Probably not, slow works, besides what's the rush? I'm becoming flustered over this. I feel my face heating up. I can't believe I'm thinking about making love to Lily. I mean how does my mind go from gypsy clothes to… well sex?
"You okay?"
I jump at her voice. "Yeah! I mean I'm cool."
"You and your daydreams…" Lily giggles.
I hear the door open. We turn around and see Mr. Truscott walking in and taking off his coat. "Hello girls." He smiles merrily.
He kisses Lily's head and nods happily to me. I like Mr. Truscott, so open minded and apparently happy for the both of us. "How are you two doing?"
Lily shrugs at his question. "School is always hard for us." She informs her dad with a frown.
"Well high school kids can be brutal. But I know that you two are above their judgment right Lily?" He laughs pretending to glare at her. "No more fights."
"No promises." She grins.
"Violence is never the answer." Mr. Truscott tells us while biting into an apple.
"I'm home!" Mrs. Truscott's voice can be heard from the back door. "The store was crazy today! I almost got beat up by an elderly lady for taking the last of the turkeys." She kisses her husband on the cheek and then spots me and Lily sitting; quiet intimately, on the floor together. "Oh." She tries her best to hide her disappointment, but I catch it.
"I should go." I announce stumbling up from Lily's embrace and grabbing my things quickly.
"Miley!" Lily begs sadly.
I shake my head. "It's okay, I should go."
As I'm walking out the front door someone closes it behind them. Expecting Lily I turn around and smile, only to have it fall as I meet Mrs. Truscott's eyes.
"Can we talk?" She asks.
My first impulse is to shout 'No!' and run off, but I stay, I want to hear her excuses for treating us this way.
"I want to apologize… for acting like I have."
Okay, off to a good start.
"But I just can't accept it."
Ooh, bad, so very bad. "Why not?" I strike back bitterly. "Don't you see what you're doing to Lily? Don't you love her?"
"Of course I do!" Mrs. Truscott pleas pitifully. "But can't you understand where I'm coming from? Everything that I have been taught to be morally wrong Lily is doing. It's so hard to be torn between my religion, my faith and my daughter."
"It shouldn't be a hard choice!" I bite back.
"Are you a religious girl, Miley?"
I think I've been to church five times in my life, maybe a few more. But after my mom's death my dad couldn't go back and neither could I. Maybe I'm lost, like people said; maybe I haven't seen the light in religion, but a God who condemns his people to hell for simply loving another human being is no God for me.
"It shouldn't matter." I say gaining my confidence. "Love is love, why are you against mine and Lily's happiness?"
"I want to be okay with it. I want to so badly. But it just keeps pulling me back. I'm scared for you, for my little girl."
Oh, I get it now. Fear is dragging her down. I look at Mrs. Truscott. Her eyes look dead, so tired, there are lines under them. I remember she use to look so lively and joyous, now guilt and fear have eaten her up. My anger dies slowly like a once raging fire. I'm discriminating against her just like she did to me.
I never even gave Mrs. Truscott the time or patience to understand where she's coming from. I disagree with her rules but, I have to realize that she grew up differently then me. She found out her only child was gay by walking in on us kissing. I actually got to sit down and speak calmly with my dad, Lily didn't get that, Mrs. Truscott didn't get that. And I wonder do we still have a chance? Is there a way that I can make this better?
Maybe
The word whispers in my mind.
Maybe.
…
Author's Note: So, a lot happened in this chapter. Don't worry there's still interesting things to look forward too: Mr. Frost's side of the story, Oliver and Mrs. Truscott. If you are still on bad terms with her, hopefully she will grow on you. Also, I hope you are not growing tired, and or bored with my little story. I'm always nervous about putting out a new chapter. Thank-you for reading. Leave your thoughts.