Eleven:
Jungle Juice
Santana sat quietly in the back of second period trying to focus on her text-book, while ignoring the pair of stunning bright eyes that watched her from across the room. Just the thought of Brittany looking at her, made Santana's heart race and her cheeks grow warm. Biting the corner of her lip, she reread the passage again, but still had no idea what it said. The awkward boy who sat in front of her farted, letting off an offensive smell, which made the back of the room unbearable.
'You should have just sat by her, idiot. Then you wouldn't be suffocating to death behind 'Jabba The Hutt ' Santana's inner voice growled, but she knew better. It had been four days since Santana rushed out of the lunch area in need of air, and all she could think about was 'what if it happened again?' . The sickening rush of bile in her stomach and the anxious tension from the panic attack were more than she could handle. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable. The last thing she needed was for Brittany to think she was a sick weirdo or worse; learn her real secrete. 'It's better for both of us if I just stay away.' Santana reminded herself for the tenth time that morning.
Brittany, on the other hand didn't seem to like Santana's sudden distance what-so-ever. Santana returned to class on Wednesday, claiming to have over come a twenty-four hour illness. She told Brittany everything was all better, but found every excuse to avoid the beautiful blonde. It didn't take long for her brother's girlfriend to catch on to Santana's game. Santana had made it clear she wanted space, so Brittany obliged. However, during class Santana would often catch Brittany looking at her, which made Santana feel horrible.
When the bell rang, Santana noticed Brittany get up from her seat and leave the room without as much as a second glance back. 'God, you fucking suck Lopez. You tell her you want to be friends and then you ignore her. She probably hates your guts right now.' Santana gave a soft sigh and put her things away as the last few kids left.
"Miss Lopez?"
Santana looked up to find her teacher looking up at her from his desk.
"Yea?" She replied a little more rudely then she should have.
"You're friends with Miss. Pierce, correct?" He asked with a hint of irritation.
"Yea. Why, what's up?" She said picking up her bag and walking over to his desk.
"She forgot her test. Could you take it to her? " He passed her a paper with a large red F in the top left hand corner.
" Maybe you could offer to help tutor her, she's struggling in this class. I'm sure it's difficult because she's new and is behind on the material. There might be some extra credit in it for you if you're interested."
"Ah. Yea, no problem. I'll take it to her and see what she says." Santana mumbled and looked back down at the test.
It was a multiple choice and the answers were all marked in crayon, which drew a small smile to Santana's lips. Taking a closer look, she noticed on question five it read "What is the capital of Ohio". Brittany had scratched out all the answers and underlined the capital letter 'O' in the word Ohio. Brittany's witty nature made Santana want to laugh, but she knew these kind of jokes couldn't continue if Britt wanted to stay on the Cheerios. Santana said goodbye and set off to find where her friend had gone, if Brittany still wanted to be friends that is.
Santana spent nearly her whole passing period looking for the leggy blonde, but gave up. Her next class was math and that was the only class they didn't share. Santana took her seat next to Quinn who had her usual sour look.
"You look like someone killed your cat Fabray, what's the matter? Still having trouble with the jolly green giant?" Santana smirked, shoving Brittany's test into her bag and pulling out her books.
"It's that Rachel girl. Every time I turn the corner, there she is talking to Finn. I think she has some pathetic crush on him. "Quinn rolled her eyes and tapped her pen in irritation against the top of her desk. "What about you? Feeling better, from—whatever you came down with?"
Santana raised an eyebrow, that was certainly a new development. She could hardly picture Finn with enough balls to cheat and Berry wasn't exactly a ten out of ten, ether.
" That Hobbit has nothing on you Q, you're totally hot and you've got the best smile ever. Finn is a walking, talking , cousin of IT the clown, and we both know you're totally going to dump his ass after graduation for a Harvard man." Santana said matter-of-factly, even though she tried to hide the embarrassed rush she felt at complementing her crush. "I'm feeling better, but not one hundred percent." She lied.
Santana hadn't managed to get in touch with Brittany until the lunch bell rang two periods later. It seemed as though, it was Santana's turn for the cold shoulder. At the end of class she gathered up her things and chased Brittany out the door.
"Hey B, wait up!" Santana called jogging down the hall to make the girl wait. Brittany eventually stopped walking, folded her arms, and gave the dark-haired cheerio an irritated look.
"Hey so, I was told to give this to you second period" She pulled open her bag and pulled out the failed test and passed it to Brittany who quickly snatched it from her hands. "If you need help or something I can totally tutor you, if you want." Santana said trying to smile even though her heart fluttered just being close to Brittany. She only hoped her body wouldn't panic on her again.
"Thanks, but I don't need your pity or your help Santana." Brittany said coolly, shoving the paper down into her bag and out of sight.
"Pity? I just thought I could help. I didn't mean it like-"
"I think you've helped me enough. Aren't your friends waiting for you?" Brittany's eyes fell to the floor with pained expression, though it was clear she was trying her very best to hide it.
"I'm sure our friends are waiting for us." Santana said softly. She knew she had really fucked up, but Brittany would never understand what it felt like to be different, everyone she met seemed to adore her.
"Really, because last time I checked you had to actually talk to someone to be their friend. Friends don't just ignore each other or blow the other one-off." Brittany huffed running her fingers through her golden hair.
"It's not like that, I've just been-"
"Been what, Santana? You rush out of school, but you wont tell me what's wrong. You come back on Wednesday and ignore me completely, no matter how hard I try to talk to you. Now, on Friday you decided I can be your friend again? I can't deal with your emotional whiplash. Ether your my friend or you're not." Brittany narrowed her eyes and waited for Santana to speak, but the little latina couldn't find the words to reply.
"I'll be sitting with Rachel at lunch today. At least I know where I stand with her. You can think about everything I've said and get back to me, but don't take too long. I wont wait on you forever." Brittany turned and stormed off down the hall, her blonde hair whipping around her face, while Santana stood rigid.
Santana groaned and booed along with the crowd as the McKinley Titans lost another field goal to the visiting team from out-of-state. She was positive that there could not be a worse team to cheer for. It was hard to make spirit out of nothing. Even Brittany, who was usually full of pep, threw her pom-poms down in the dirt.
"Santana at least look like you give a fuck" Quinn barked right before turning around to shout out new orders to their teammates, for the next cheer. "Britt, can you give us a round off back handspring back tuck please? I need to give these people something actually interesting to watch."
Santana tied not to stare as Brittany began to quickly stretch out her limbs. Santana was an accomplished Cheerleader, but even she couldn't pull off some of the stunts Britt could do so effortlessly. The fact that she was so flexible, subconsciously made her blush. Brittany gave her self plenty of space before taking a running start and flipping through the air effortlessly. The crowd pointed and clapped in awe of the simple little stunt. Just to show off, she did it a second time this time placing a no handed cart-wheel at the end of the set. Santana found herself clapping just as loud as the people behind her.
Brittany caught her watching and gave Santana a small sad smile before taking her place back at Quinn's left side. Santana held back a sigh.
"Maybe going to the party tonight isn't such a great idea." Santana muttered to herself right before the little voice in the back of her mind spoke up. 'Get a grip Lopez. Brittany is going to be wearing that sexy ass dress you bought just for her. You have to go, even if it's only for a little bit' Santana rolled her eyes. She really did want to see Brittany in that dress and who knows maybe they could fix whatever weirdness she had created between the two of them.
When the game ended, with an unsurprising loss by the titans, the Cheerios slowly began to pack their things up and head toward the locker rooms. As usual Santana waited back, but she noticed Brittany taking her sweet time too. 'Maybe she wants to talk?' Santana thought privately.
"Hey Lopez!" Puck jogged over with his helmet in hand. "Sup, babe?" He asked wrapping an arm around her back and leaning in for a sweaty kiss. He smelled like grass and she could taste the salty sweat of his brow on his lips. It was utterly revolting.
"Hey, not a lot. I fucking pissed we lost, again." Santana muttered pulling away from him as unsuspiciously as possible. She could feel Brittany's eyes on her neck watching the entire thing.
"Dude, tell me about it." He grunted. "Are we still on for the party, though?"
"Uh, yea. Just for a bit. I'm not sure how long I want to stay. I'm kind of really tired." She said softly not wanting to see the look on Brittany's face behind her.
"That's fine, but hey, I was thinking after we shower off and change...you and I could have some quality alone time...you know, let off a little stress. " He wiggled his eyebrows which meant he probably just wanted to make out.
"I guess, whatever is cool with me. Just make sure you shower. I'm going to look fucking hot tonight and I don't want to show up with a boyfriend who smells like grass stains and jock strap." She quipped. From the corner of her eye she saw Brittany angrily toss her bag over her shoulder and storm off toward the locker room. Santana didn't even know what she had done this time to maker her so angry.
"I'll meet you at your truck in fifteen. Okay?" Santana said shouldering her bag.
"See you soon, hot stuff." Puck pecked her cheek and jogged off toward the locker rooms behind Brittany. Santana started walking a good distance behind them, but made no effort to catch up. Brittany probably hated her and Santana couldn't blame her for it. Some days she wished she could just disappear, just to get away from this fucked up life.
When she entered the locker room most of the other girls had taken off and Brittany was no where in sight. Santana quickly changed out of her cheer uniform and hopped in the shower. She made sure to rinse off everywhere and wash her hair really well before pulling the towel off the hook to dry off. Stepping out, the room seemed empty at first, but as Santana turned the corner she jumped when she saw Brittany waiting for her.
"B! God, you scared me. What are you doing in here?" Santana asked shifting uncomfortable in just her towel.
"I wanted to talk. I feel bad about being mean to you and stuff earlier, so I thought I'd wait for you." Brittany looked just as uncomfortable as Santana felt, but stepped aside to let the latina get to her locker.
"You don't have to say sorry, Britt. I know I've been a bitch this week." Santana said fumbling with her locker combo. 'Shit, she's looking right at me, what are my numbers?' It took three tries before she got them right.
Brittany scrunched her face into an adorable pout that made Santana want to change the world for her.
"I didn't say I was going to say sorry and I didn't say you were being a bitch ether. You shouldn't talk about yourself that way, San." Brittany affirmed. "I shouldn't have been so harsh earlier because I really like being your friend, when we are friends, but I also want to know what's really going on with you. There are like—a handful of illnesses that come on suddenly and last only a day, but almost all of them would kill you. Can you please just tell me what's going on?"
Santana stood rooted to the spot, staring at the contents of her locker. Her heart raced and her mouth grew dry. This is what she got for trying to fool someone as smart as Brittany. She licked her lips trying to find a voice to answer. For a moment she even thought about telling her the whole truth.
"You wouldn't understand Britt, I'm sorry. I just can't." She said just above a whisper.
"What wouldn't I understand, Santana? You make no sense at all. Sometimes I think I see you more clearly than anyone else and other times you things like this where you just shut everyone out. That's what I don't understand. Please, if it's something I did wrong, I want to know so I can fix it and make it better." Brittany begged.
There was a long silence between the two as Santana turned her back and dropped her towel. A little embarrassment was nothing, so long as she didn't have to answer Brittany. Without looking over her shoulder, she pulled on her thong and lacy bra, before slipping a tight black dress over her head. She adjusted the bottom a few times before turning back to Brittany.
"I'm sorry, Puck's waiting for me. I have to go, but hopefully I'll see you at the party." Santana grabbed her purse, shoes, then shut her locker. Walking away from Brittany had to be one of the hardest things she had ever done. Santana wanted nothing more than to run back and throw herself into the girl's pale arms, just to say sorry for every fucked up thing she had ever done. Instead she willed herself to keep walking until she reached Noah's truck.
"Sup, babe? Why do you look so down?" Puck said with a chipper expression that made Santana want to hit him.
"I'm fine." she muttered fixing her thick long hair into an elegant dark braid that flowed with her dress, in the pull down mirror of Puck's truck. She could feel Noah's arm slide behind her as she finished drawing her in for another sloppy kiss. Santana closed her eyes and kissed back trying to will herself into enjoying the way his chapped lips felt against hers. As his tongue grazed her bottom lip for entrance, Santana thought she might gag, but still she didn't stop him. This is what girls were suppose to like. There were hundreds of ladies at McKinley who would die to make out with Puck for an hour.
Santana found her hands gripping his strong jaw as she tried to regain control over their kissing. It all felt so mechanical, she did all the things she thought she was supposed to do and none of the things she felt like doing. For a moment her breath stopped when she felt his hand fall lightly on to her exposed knee.
"Problem?" He asked when she stopped kissing him.
Santana bit her lip and thought of Brittany for a moment, but then shook her head. Brittany could only ever be a friend or a sister to her, that's what Father Thomas had said.
"No, I'm good." She leaned in and captured Puck's lips this time setting the pace. It only took a moment for Puck's hand to slowly slide up from her knee to her thigh, causing a small shiver to pass through her. He took it as a sign to continue. Santana tried to focus on the kissing and pretend that Puck's hand wasn't making her feel totally uncomfortable. He had almost reached her pantie-line when she finally grabbed his hand and asked him to stop.
"What's the matter babe?" He asked with a wounded puppy dog look in his eye. "I thought we were going to loosen up a little before the party?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood right now." Santana said nervously as she pulled her dress back down. "Maybe a little later okay?"
Quinn could say whatever she liked about Puck, but deep down Santana knew he was a nice understanding guy and would never put pressure on her to do something she didn't want to do. He looked a little bummed as he started the car, but by the time Santana had finished doing her makeup in the mirror, he was pumped up and jabbering on about all the football players he was going to meet.
Twenty minutes later they pulled up to the Sigma Nu house. There were cars parked everywhere along the street and the house was already blasting loud music. The house rested across the street from the farthest corner of Ohio State, so campus security had no authority to shut the party down and the nearest police station was on the other side of town.
"Dude San, did I tell you that you're like the best girlfriend ever for bringing me to this thing. I'm going to get so hammered tonight. I can't wait." Puck said with a smile matching that of a five-year old boy.
"Don't get too drunk. I'm not dragging your ass back to the truck drunk and you still have to drive." Santana warned as she double checked her appearance. She looked a million times better than she had stepping off the field. Puck came around and opened the door for her to slide out. Santana adjusted her dress one last time before putting on a signature HIBIC expression and leading the way inside.
The house wasn't packed to the brim, but there were more than enough people to make getting around a pain. The music shook the walls and couples danced out on the floor. In the back Santana spotted bottles of booze lining the kitchen and a giant bucket of something she couldn't see.
"I'm going to go get something to drink. Can you find my brother and let him know we're here?"Santana said patting Puck on the chest and walking off into the crowd without even a second look back.
It didn't take long for her to reach the kitchen and start pouring herself a shot of tequilla. She lined the outside of her thumb with salt and had a lime on hand as she quickly took the shot. Reaching for the bottle she poured herself another. If she had to face Brittany tonight ,she needed an extra helping of liquid courage.
"Whoa there hot stuff, take it easy. You only just walked through the door." said an unfamiliar voice from behind. Santana turned to tell the stranger to fuck off, but as she did she found herself looking up into a pair of crystal blue eyes that seemed all too familiar to her.
"Are you the alcohol police or something?" She snapped at the decidedly gorgeous young man. Even as a lesbian, Santana had to admit that this guy was good-looking. He was man pretty, but there was a ruggedness about his light stubble and gold blond hair that told her he was all kinds of sexy dangerous.
He chuckled, showing off his bright perfect smile that made her flush, it reminded her too much of another smile she craved to see.
"Nah, nothing like that. I just know that a girl who walks in heads straight for the bar, the way you just did, is usually running from something or someone." He nodded into the crowd and Santana's eyes trailed along until she found what he was looking at.
Noah stood awkwardly dancing close to the center of the group, but his eyes were keeping a close watch on Santana. She glanced a few centimeters over to find Roman and-
"Oh god." Santana heart stopped for a moment, when she saw Brittany.
Her back was to Roman as they danced; one hand cupped his face and the other held his hand at her waist. However, it wasn't the intimate position they were in that had her so flustered. It was the dress Brittany wore. Her hair was down in sun-kissed blonde curls, while her body was hugged tightly by the stunning red dress which Santana had bought for her. The intersecting cloth hung around the cheerleaders' torso perfectly, accentuating her breasts and with every slight turn of her hips, Santana could see bits of flesh from the cut outs at her waist.
Santana's pulse shot straight up, but she played off her sudden change in demeanor as if it was because of Noah. She sent him a little wave and smile from across the room, noticing the handsome guy behind her did the same just to be cheeky.
"If you need saving just let me know. In the mean time, you should drink this instead." The young man dipped a party cup down into the large bucket of unknown liquid punch and passed it to her.
"It's jungle juice. Don't worry, there's nothing weird in it. It's soda, cut up fruit pieces, Hawaiian Punch, and about five different bottles of alcohol. It should get the job done, but not leave you on your ass the next day." He said with a flirty wink.
"Thanks, I guess. What's your name or do you prefer to keep acting mysterious and suave, thinking that it's some how going to help your chances?" Santana quipped not wanting to let the man feel as though he had her right where he wanted her, but instead he laughed again.
"I'm Jason Pierce." He held out his hand to shake. "I'm not playing any game, just trying to be a good host."
"Jason? So, you're Brittany's brother?" Santana raised her eyebrows and tried to pretend like she wasn't a little surprised. "I'm-"
"Santana Lopez. I know who you are. Brittany talks about you quite a bit, but I'd also recognize the Lopez signature cocky smirk anywhere." He grinned. "Well, I have to get back to the other guests, but it was nice talking to you. If there's anything you need just let me know."
Jason gave Santana one last charming smile and walked off into the crowd of people. Santana took of the drink handed to her and realizes that it's fucking delicious and decides to make the most of her night. Newly determined to have fun Santana pushes her way over to Puck, where he happily wrapped his arms around her.
"Hey San, glad you finally showed up. Puckerman looked like he was about ready to cry." Roman teased giving his baby sister a high-five. She rolled her eyes and swayed her hips along with her boyfriends.
"I just went to get a drink, that's all. Jeeze, calm your tits already. Where'd your lady go?" She asked taking another deep sip from her cup.
"Same. She doesn't seem to be in a very good mood, but holy hell do I love the dress you bought." Roman said with a silly smirk. Santana tried not to roll her eyes, but in the end failed.
"Yea, well I have amazing taste. What do you expect?" She shot back.
"What did Jason want? I saw you two talking."
"Yea, what did the pretty boy want?" Puck chimed in, the jealousy in his voice was unmistakable.
"He just wanted to say hello like a good host. That's all." Santana shrugged dipping down lower with the beat of the music.
"That's not what it looked like." Puck groused.
"Jason Pierce never does anything out of the pure goodness of his heart, unless it's something for Brittany. I don't expect you of all people to be that naïve, San." Roman chastised. "Don't worry, I'll totally kick his ass for you, if you need."
Santana rolled her eyes again for the 3rd time in ten minutes and focused on just dancing. Roman eventually got board and walked off to find his girlfriend.
"Babe, lets go play some Beer Pong. I'm not even a little buzzed yet." Puck said ushering Santana toward the table where a few guys were standing around playing. Beer Pong hand never been Santana's strongest game, but she didn't mind playing a few round with Puck as long as it kept her mind off Brittany and Roman together. Noah claimed next game and Santana got him a party cup filled with Jungle Juice too.
An hour and a half later, Puck stood at the end of the table trying to make a winning shot. Both he and Santana were well past tipsy and heading straight for drunk after losing four straight games in a row,
"Cum'on Puckerman. You have to make this shot or I'm going to be soo sad." Santana cheered and giggled for her teammate. "We can not troll five games in a row."
"Don't worry San. If he misses this, then I'll play next game as your partner to save your reputation." Jason laughed putting an arm around her shoulders.
There was something about Jason that made her feel relaxed, like she didn't have to worry when she was around him. He may have been a flirt, but he was totally harmless. It was like having another older brother around to look out for her. Santana smiled and bumped his knuckles.
"Sounds like a plan" she giggled.
Puck, on the other hand shot them both a dirty look. With a flick of his wrist, he sent the ball to the other side only to miss the red solo cup by a mile. There was a collective groan and laughter as they lost their fifth game in a row.
"Alright San, let me show you how a real man plays." Jason said with a cocky smile, but as he moved to refill the beer cups Noah stepped up in his face.
"Dude, what the fuck is your problem? Back off my girlfriend." Puck growled defensively.
Jason had several inches on Noah and far more raw muscle, but he seemed uninterested in fighting.
"Hey man, chill. No one is trying to take your girl. We're just having fun." Jason raised his hands up where they could be seen. Just by the way he stood, Santana could tell that he could easily take Puck, if he wanted to.
"Guys, seriously! Don't be assholes. I'm fine, really. Thanks for the offer Jason, but I think Puck and I are going to go dance for a little while." Santana said taking him by the hand and leading him away from the pong tables. In all truth she had wanted to stay and play more, but it wasn't worth the fight.
They walked through the house until the reached the dance floor, where a loud commotion was taking place. It was hard to hear anything over the loud music pulsating through the building, but everyone was crowded around a large coffee table cheering. Brittany stood at on top dancing while guys and girls cat called for more.
"Shit, Pierce is fucking hot! Look at her go!" Puck stopped to watch in awe.
Santana gritted her teeth as drunk boys reached out to grab or dance with the blonde bombshell. Roman stood off to the side making sure that no one got too close, but it wasn't good enough for Santana. They all wanted her because she was sexy, but none of them knew the real Brittany inside. Santana wanted nothing more than to go all Lima Heights and make sure they never treated her like a piece of ass again. Brittany was so much more than her body. She was smart, funny, kind, and brave. She could dance like nothing Santana had ever seen and she was more cleaver than anyone Santana knew.
Hot angry tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched her friend dance. When Brittany came up from a sexy low dip, they caught each others gaze for just a moment, before Brittany looked to the next person watching her. Santana's grip on Puck's hand tightened. This was what she got for being unnatural; heartache.
"Come on Puckerman." Santana growled pulling Noah to the other side of the dance room. With a hard shove she sat him down in a chair and hopped on his lap. She pressed her lips roughly to his, willing him to keep up. The alcohol made everything feel like a fuzzy blur. She could hardly taste or smell Puck under her, so it was easier to pretend that he was someone else.
Santana buried her feelings in Puck's lips, trying to convince herself that he was the one she really wanted, but it only seemed to bring more tears. Puck remained oblivious to it all and was more than happy to give Santana everything she wanted most. Once again Santana felt Puck's hand on her knee slowly slide up, pressing the hem of her dress higher and higher.
"Puck stop." Santana muttered against his lips, moving his hand away from her thigh.
"Come on San, it's been almost two months." Puck whined this time letting his hands roam a little higher on her body.
"I'm serious, Noah. Back off. " She said more firmly pushing his hands away from her boobs.
"What is your problem?" Noah huffed, pulling back and looking irritated. "You can't keep teasing me and then just leaving me high and dry! That's messed up."
"Forget it. I'm going to play Beer Pong with Jason." Santana snapped, climbing off his lap only to be pulled back down. "What the fuck Puckerman! Let go of me."
"No, not until you tell me why you keep leading me on!" Puck shouted. "Who else are you hooking up with?!"
"Noah, fucking let go of me now!" Santana yelled trying to pull her arm away, but by then it was too late. The crowded room heard their yelling and stopped to see what was going on..
"Hey! Get your fucking hands off my sister." Roman yelled running to Santana's aid and pulling her away from Puck in one motion.
Noah leapt to his feet in a drunken angry rage.
"Dude, mind your own fucking business. We're talking." Puck barked, shoving Roman back.
Santana's brother moved her out of the angry teens' reach, then shoved Puck right back and refusing to back down. A steady circle of people began to form around the scene as Santana tried to calm them both down. Nether listened to anything she had to say.
"No means no asshole. I think it's time you left!" Roman yelled.
"I'm not going anywhere until I talk to Santana. You can go fuck yourself."
"Both of you stop it!" Santana shouted over the music, but it was too late.
Roman took a drunk swing at Puck only to miss. The two boys started to grapple and hit each other, but nether was sober enough to land a solid hit. It didn't take long for Jason and a few of the other football guys to step in and pull the men apart. By then Santana couldn't take anymore, she ran up the stairs and slammed the door shut to the first empty room she could find.
Santana threw herself down on the bed and began to cry. It was so much easier than yelling or being angry. The night had been utterly ruined and it was all her fault. If she had only been nice to Brittany and let Puck get closer to her, then things would have been alright. No, if she were straight, then things would have been alright.
For a moment Santana thought she heard someone knocking, but dismissed it almost right away.
"San, are you okay?" Brittany's gentle voice asked as she closed the door behind her.
Santana sat up, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm herself down a little. She whipped away the eyeliner that was now smeared under her eye.
"Yea, I'm perfect. Can't you tell?" She mumbled sarcastically.
She looked over at a bookshelf as she spoke, unable to meet Brittany's gaze.
"Boys are dumb. Don't let their fight get to you. They'll probably be best friends again tomorrow." Brittany offered though it did little to ease Santana's troubles.
"What were you fighting about with Noah?"
"Nothing really, it was stupid. He wanted to get to second base and..."Santana trailed off, drunk and lost in her own thoughts.
"-and that was a bad thing?" Brittany finished her sentence, but seemed to leave another unspoken question hanging in the air.
The all too familiar tug at her chest returned and tears threatened to spill over. Clearing her throat, Santana fought the flood of sadness back, but still refused to look at the hurt blonde in front of her.
"It's nothing. You wouldn't understand. Just go away and leave me alone." Santana whispered through her already cracking voice. Santana ached to curl up in a ball and disappear forever, if it meant the pain in her heart would stop.
Instead of leaving Brittany took a seat next to Santana on the bed and took the latina's hand in her own.
"No Santana. I'm not going to just leave. You're clearly upset about something more than just a dumb fight. Friends don't just abandon friends when they're crying and upset. That goes against the laws of feminism or something. Maybe you're right Santana. Maybe I wont understand, but how do you know unless you try." Brittany stated firmly giving Santana's dark fingers a small squeeze.
"I just know okay?!" Santana shouted angrily, pulling her hand away as the tears began to fall harder. She buried her face in her palms and began to shake as she sobbed. " If I told you—you'd h-hate me for ever and I couldn't take it if—if you hated me."
Brittany rubbed Santana's back soothingly, trying to get her to calm down, though nothing seemed to work. Using her index finger, she lifted Santana's chin to finally meet her eyes. Santana felt over come as she stared into Brittany's deep endless gaze. They made her want to trust Brittany with everything, but fear still held tight.
"Honey, there is nothing you could ever say or do that would make me hate you. Please give me a chance and I promise I wont run away or tell anyone your secrete. " She reached out to take Santana's hand again, but it was too late.
Both of Santana's hands reached up to cup Brittany's jaw ever so delicately. Without a word Santana closed her eyes pressed her rich full lips to Brittany's soft pink ones. Even through her buzz, Santana experienced the most amazing mix of sensations. In all her day dreams she had never pictured kissing Brittany to be so perfect. Unlike Puck, Brittany's lips were moist and slick with gloss, she smelled like a sweet pea rain forest, and every sensation felt magical.
Santana wasn't sure how long she held the moment, but when reality hit, it didn't hold back. Breaking away quickly, she sat back and looked at Brittany in horror at what she had done. Her hand flew to her mouth as though she couldn't believe it and Brittany sat with an equally shocked expression on her face.
"Oh, Santana..." She began. Her eyes were filled with compassion, but she was at a loss for words. When her mind finally caught up Santana was already on her feet and bolting for the door.
" Santana wait!" She called, but the little Latina was already running toward the door.
That was it. Her life was now over. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what that kiss had meant and there was no doubt that Brittany would realize just how big of a freak she really was. She could never show her face again at school. Her brother would hate her for kissing his girlfriend and her parents were likely to throw her out of the house. Roman had just kicked Noah's ass and Quinn was surely going to tell her she was damned to hell for all time. Santana had no one. It was all over.
Santana jogged down the street for as long as she could until the cold night air made her lungs ache. The weather man had said there might be a chance of snow, but thankfully the skies were clear. Santana knew she could count on her booze blanket to keep her warm for the next several hours at least. It wasn't long before she found her self wandering the dark paths of the Ohio State campus. She couldn't cry anymore. It took too much effort and with the cold wind whipping around her ears, she felt utterly numb inside and out. She gave a slight yawn as she saw a cute looking tree in between two campus buildings. She was drunk and emotionally exhausted, taking a seat next to the tree seemed like as good a place as any to rest for a moment.
She sat down and laid her head against the bark. It only took ten minute for her dizzy mind to shut her eyes and send her drifting off into dream land.
Brittany raced after Santana down the hall and taking the stairs two steps at a time, but by the time she reached the front of the house Santana had already vanished.
"Jace, did you see which way Santana went?" She asked urgently.
"I think I saw her run out front, why? Is everything okay?" Jason asked with a hint of worry that she had always come to expect from her big brother.
"No, I don't think so. I was trying to make her feel better,but I might have messed up and said the wrong thing. Ugh, I'm horrible with words. You have to help me go find her. It's freezing outside and she's drunk. I don't want her getting lost." Brittany urged, knowing that her brother would do anything to help.
"Babe, what's the matter? Where's San?" Roman asked over hearing their conversation.
"She got upset about the fight and ran off, when I tried to talk to her about it." Brittany lied. Sure she hated doing it, but she had made Santana a promise and she wasn't about to break it.
"Shit, I should have never fought with Noah. She's going to hate me. I'll check the street. You and Jason should check the campus. She might have wondered there without realizing it." Roman kissed Brittany's cheek before grabbing his jacket and heading out the door to look for his baby sister.
Brittany ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. How could she have been so stupid, not to see it. Santana had always been fun to tease and flirt with because she was so easy to fluster, but never had she guessed that the dark-haired beauty felt this way. 'I just thought she was cute, the way she got so worked up over the smallest things. God I'm such a jerk. No wonder she was trying to stay away.' Brittany thought. Truth be told she had kind of wished Santana would swing her way, but the torn up look in Santana's chocolate-brown eyes broke Brittany's heart.
Borrowing a jacket from one of the boys, Brittany wrapped it around her shoulders and set off to look for her friend. Jason lead the way to campus and the two split up when they got there, calling the girl's name as loud as they could.
"Santana! Sweetie, where are you? Please come back! It's okay, I promise." Brittany yelled and listened to her voice echo across the campus. They searched every place they could think of, but there was no sign of her. Brittany was about to give up and turn back when she noticed a pair of high heels kicked off to the side. Jogging over she found Santana curled up like a kitten, sleeping peacefully under a small sapling tree.
"Jace I found her!" Brittany yelled as she crouched down and draped her jacket over Santana's shivering shoulders. It took only a moment for Jason to arrive and pick Santana up off the ground. Brittany trailed behind, watching Santana as she slept quietly in his arms.
Brittany bit her lip and continued to yell at herself for being so stupid. However, what scared her more was knowing that some part of her always knew how Santana really felt.
"I'm the worst friend in the world." she muttered under her breath as Jason carefully set Santana down in the back of Roman's car.
" Are you good to drive home?" Jason asked his friend before shaking hands and clapping each other on the back.
"Jason, I want to go with Roman and make sure Santana gets tucked in safely. I'll meet you at home, is that okay?" She asked her brother and legal guardian.
"Yea, just let me know when you get there safely. Love you." He said kissing her on the top of the head and closing the door after she slid into the back seat.
Santana's head rested in Brittany's lap and she lightly stroked her dark hair hoping it would sooth whatever dreams her friend was having.
"I'm so sorry Santana. You deserve better and I promise I'm going to be better." Brittany whispered, so her boyfriend couldn't hear. Both were pretty tiered, so nether Brittany nor Roman spoke much on the ride back.
"Babe?" Roman eventually said as they neared his home.
"Yea?" Brittany yawned.
"Can you please do me a favor and keep an eye on her. I know she can be kind of rough sometimes, but Santana's a good person deep inside. I don't like her hanging out with this Noah guy or her cheerleader friends. You're the only person who seems to actually bring out the best in her, so would you mind just watching her back." Roman said into his rear-view mirror.
"Of course Roman, she's special to me too." Brittany affirmed brushing her fingers along Santana's soft sleeping cheek.
When they finally reached the Lopez house hold. Roman carried his sister upstairs to her bedroom and laid her down carefully on the sheets.
"I'll tuck her in, you can go grab something to eat. You don't look too great." Brittany mused pecking her boyfriend on the cheek.
Once he was gone Brittany dug through Santana's drawers looking for sweats to put her sleeping friend in. The first drawer was jeans, the second was full of old tank tops, the third drawer she tried held Santana's underwear, but finally on the fourth she found the pjs. Brittany dug around for something that looked comfortable, until she eventually pulled out a pair of sweats. When she did a small piece of folded paper fell from the drawer and onto the carpet.
Carefully Brittany picked it up off the ground and scanned over it with her eyes. What she saw broke her more than she could say. Carefully, she tucked the 'Gateways' flier back into Santana's drawer and closed it tight. Santana rolled over in her large bed and for a moment Brittany thought she heard her name.
The tall blonde picked up the bed-clothes she had grabbed, moved over to her friend, and began dressing the girl for bed, but made sure not to wake sat next to Santana for a long moment just watching her sleep. Brittany thought over everything several times, before finally leaning down and pressing her lips softly the Santana's.
"I'm going to make this right San and I promise I'm not going anywhere." Brittany vowed to the sleeping girl. A subtle smile broke across her sleeping lips that gave Brittany hope thing would get better for them.
"Ready to go?" Roman asked rubbing his tiered eyes.
"Yea, I'll call her tomorrow and check up on her." Brittany whispered.
As she walked out the door, Brittany couldn't stop herself from taking a look back at her best friend. Things were going to be different from now on and she'd be lying if she said it didn't excite her just a little bit.
A/N- Wow this was a long chapter. I know there was a lot of Pucktana and Romittany in here, but now we're in a place where Brittana can really start to move forward. I hope you're enjoying the slow burn and not too upset with me ;) What did you guys think of Jason? There was also a little bit of Brittany's POV in there. Don't expect that to be a regular thing, but it was a nice change of pace. Hope everyone liked this chapter, I know I liked writing it.
*Just so everyone is clear: Finn and Puck aren't gay for each other, but I can see why you'd think so.
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