Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.
Many thanks to DHLane for her help with this chapter.
The snow was freezing cold and wet. Despite the numerous layers she wore and the spell she had cast on her boots to repel the melting ice and snow, Hermione had to wrap her arms around herself tighter to keep warm.
As she trudged along, she took a moment to reflect that it had been far too long since the last time she had seen the Hogwarts school grounds during the winter. She had almost forgotten just how beautiful everything looked with a thick blanket of white snow covering it. A few minutes later she could see the castle coming into view, the towers sparkling from where she stood. A strong gust of wind washed over her and she increased her pace, unwilling to dawdle if it meant she would freeze in the process.
It wasn't long before she arrived at the castle. She pushed open one of the heavy oak doors and slipped inside, flinching slightly as it closed with a loud 'thud' behind her.
Once inside, she immediately felt the warmth of the heating charms cast over the entrance hall. It wasn't much, but it was warm enough to remove her thick winter coat. Draping it over her arm, she took a moment to look around. The hall was already decorated with heavy velvet drapes around all of the windows, and thick dark rugs were scattered over the floor. It was a little medieval in style, but was far more welcoming now than it had been during her student years. Minerva, for all of her bluster, was a fantastic Headmistress; better than Dumbledore in her opinion.
Shaking her head, she started to make the climb up the stairs towards the fifth floor, where the Potter's made their home. On her way up she passed scores of students as they made their way from class to class. One of the downsides of coming to visit during the week, were the gawking students who stared at her as she walked through the halls. Once she reached the fifth floor, she beat a hasty path straight towards Harry's rooms. Knocking on the solid oak door few times, she stood back and waited to hear footsteps on the other side. A moment later, Pansy stood before her with a wide smile on her face.
'Hermione! Come on in!' she exclaimed, grabbing her arm and tugging her through the doorway. 'Harry's last class doesn't finish until just before lunchtime, but the boys are both excited for a visit.'
Before Hermione had a chance to say anything, two small boys came barrelling around the corner. The smaller of the two jumped up and down with his arms stretched out towards her. Grinning, Hermione lifted Noah into her arms, while Lucas settled for hugging around her legs. Shifting Noah to her left side, she gently tousled Lucas's dark hair with her free hand.
'Aunty 'Mione! I have a book!' Lucas exclaimed. 'Uncle Ronnie bought it for me yesterday.'
'Oh, how wonderful,' Hermione said, sharing a look with Pansy.
Allowing herself to be led over to the lounge suite before the fireplace, Hermione found herself being nudged onto the lounger chair with Noah, while Lucas scampered off to find his book. He ran back into the room clutching the book to his chest. Pansy entered a moment later carrying a tray laden with teacups, a teapot and plate of sandwiches. She carefully lowered herself into the empty armchair across from them, resting her hands on her heavily pregnant belly.
'Cream and sugar?' Pansy asked, pulling her wand out from up her sleeve and giving it a wave towards the tea tray.
'Just cream,' Hermione answered, accepting the book from Lucas before he scrambled up onto the couch to sit beside her.
'Read to me?' Lucas asked, his eyes wide and pleading.
Hermione glanced at the cover. It was a children's book about Quidditch. She should have guessed it would be something to do with sports. Harry, Lucas and Ron were still as preoccupied with Quidditch as they had ever been. It was just fortunate for her that Pansy neither enjoyed Quidditch, nor did she encourage her boys to follow it fanatically. Lucas and Harry were alike in almost every way, meanwhile Noah was more reserved and preferred to follow his mother around their chambers like a little baby duck. It was rather sweet, she thought.
By the time she had reached the end of the book, Hermione felt relieved that it was quite short. She was reminded just why it was that she disliked wizarding children's literature – the modern ones at the very least. The Tales of Beedle the Bard was a classic and one that would be hard to match. She still kept the copy bequeathed to her in Dumbledore's will in her library.
'So… how is the baby going in there?' Hermione asked Pansy as Lucas left with his book, holding Noah's hand and tugging him in the direction of their room to play.
'Brilliant,' Pansy replied, rolling her eyes in sarcasm. 'I am already overdue by three days, but Poppy assures me that it's perfectly normal. I just wish she would hurry up and get out. Both of the boys were in such a hurry to come, meanwhile this little one here is dawdling.'
'At least she'll be a healthy girl,' Hermione replied with a chuckle.
'I'll say,' the blonde replied.
Hermione leaned over to grab a sandwich just as the door to the chambers opened and Harry walked in.
'Hello, Hermione,' he greeted with his usual wide, boyish grin.
She smiled back at him, watching as he stopped by his wife to drop a kiss on her forehead in greeting before he joined her on the lounge. He reached over and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and she did so in return with an amused smile on her own lips.
'So, what brings you here this blustery winter's day?' Harry asked.
'I've got a week off work between jobs and I was going a little barmy at home by myself. I decided that socialising was in order,' she replied. 'I was hoping to see Minerva at some point during my visit, too.'
'She knows you're here,' Harry said. 'I told her you were stopping by today when I saw her at the staff meeting last night. She mentioned something about stopping by here to see you this afternoon.'
'Excellent,' Hermione said, delighted.
'So, have you spoken to Ron since the end of the trial?' he asked curiously.
'You know I don't really see Ron socially any more,' she replied, frowning. 'In fact, the only people I have seen since the end of the trial are my employers, you, Pansy, the children, and the handful of students who were all gawking at me in the hall as I made my way up here.'
'So, you haven't seen Neville at all either?' Pansy asked with a smirk. 'From what I recall, a couple of months ago you were very interested in getting information out of Harry about him.'
'A couple of months ago I wasn't thinking straight, clearly,' she murmured, her cheeks going pink. 'I've had to be more sensible about my curiosity since then.'
'I thought the reason you were asking so many questions concerning him was because you were attracted to him,' Harry teased.
Hermione felt her face flush anew. 'I might be attracted to him, but that doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship right now,' she said defensively.
'If not now, when? From what you've told us, you haven't been in any sort of relationship, short or long, since Ron,' Harry pointed out dryly. 'Neville is a great bloke. He'd do well by you.'
'I know what kind of bloke he is,' Hermione said with a sigh. 'But relationships are messy and complicated. I've just been promoted at work, and before then he was my colleague. It would have been inappropriate.'
Harry and Pansy snorted simultaneously.
'Where is your sense of danger?' Pansy exclaimed. 'Adventure? You were far more reckless when we were still students.'
'Only because it was necessary,' Hermione argued. 'It's just not the right time.'
'Stuff the right bloody time,' Harry said firmly. 'I know that what Ron did hurt you a lot, but that was seven years ago. It's time for you to get back up on that horse and take a chance on someone again. I can tell you like Neville a whole lot more than you are letting on, Hermione.'
Hermione sat and stared at the fire, unblinking and in silent thought. It was true – she was scared of getting involved with anyone. Every time she tried to convince herself that the only reason she kept Neville at a distance was because they worked together, another part of her screamed 'liar'. Ron had hurt her, and while she no longer harboured any sort of feelings for him, the hurt he'd caused had left scars. And those scars were what kept her from letting anyone in. Without trust, there was no relationship.
'I just don't know if I can allow myself to trust anyone with my feeling again,' Hermione admitted to her friends finally.
'What's the worst that could happen? You've already had your heart broken before. If it were to happen again, you'd be better equipped to handle it.'
'But then I'd be back at square one again,' she said.
'And we'd be right here with you to help you pick up the pieces,' Harry said, reaching a hand up to brush a lock of hair from her eyes.
Hermione smiled at him, opening her mouth to speak when a knock sounded at the door. to the Potters' chambers. Pansy moved to stand, but Harry forestalled her with a hand, hauling himself up from the lounge instead and going to answer the door. He opened it a crack to begin with before widening it to allow Minerva McGonagall passage into the sitting room.
'Hermione! It's so good to see you!' Minerva exclaimed immediately, claiming the spot on the lounge that Harry had been occupying.
'It's good to see you as well, Minerva,' Hermione replied, accepting the older woman's one-armed embrace. 'How have you been?'
'Oh you know, busy running a school,' she said with a dry chuckle. 'I never quite realised just how much of the work Albus used to delegate to me when I was the Deputy until I became Headmistress. I used to do nearly everything his job entailed while he barely did the basics. Granted, he was trying to fight a war at the time and run the Order of the Phoenix in the last few years of his life.'
'I don't suppose you make poor Professor Flitwick do everything for you now?' Hermione asked.
Minerva shook her head. 'I never make him do more than I think he can handle and only delegate when needed. Harry here always volunteers assistance when I need it also. I appointed Filius the Deputy when I became Headmistress because there was no one else who would take the role. Now that Filius is planning to retire I will pass the role to Harry. It is nice that he has a few years of teaching experience under his belt.'
Hermione beamed and looked over at her friend. 'You never told me!' she exclaimed.
'It never came up,' Harry said, blushing profusely.
Not a moment later, the two boys came barrelling out of their room excitedly and Harry ordered lunch to be sent up by the house-elves. As she sat amidst the cheerful group, Hermione took a moment to reflect on the earlier conversation with Harry and Pansy. Perhaps they were right? Not every man would be as untrustworthy as Ronald Weasley had turned out to be. Perhaps it was time to get back up and try to make a connection with someone.
She watched as the two boys clapped cheerfully as a tray of sandwiches, scones with jam and cream, teacakes, biscuits and fresh fruit. They were such sweet children, and they were such a happy, beautiful family. This was the thing she was missing out on by staying out of the game. While she got a lot of fulfilment from her work and her own achievements, there was something wanting. She had never wanted to have a lot of children, but she'd always thought she'd have one or two some day.
'Dig in, Hermione,' Harry said, proffering a plate towards her so that she could eat.
She took the plate and settled down with a scone that was smothered with jam and cream. Hermione smiled then, wondering how she had managed to find such wonderful friends.
The rest of the afternoon was spent nibbling on the food, laughing, sharing old stories of the time long past, and catching up on recent events. No one mentioned Hermione's problem with letting people in again. Apparently it went unsaid that her private life was her own to share and she appreciated this discretion on the part of Harry and. She might confide in Minerva one day, but for the time being , she was happy to spend a little while not thinking about relationships.
As the sun began to set in the sky, Hermione decided it was time for her to go home. The two boys gave her hugs, kisses and promises to be good for their parents. She promised Pansy that no matter what she was doing, she would drop everything and to be at the birth of their daughter, as soon as possible. Minerva also extracted a promise that Hermione would write to her more often about the goings-on in her life. She made so many promises, she hoped that she would be able to keep all of them.
A short while later, as she walked through the school grounds towards Hogsmeade; she reflected that this visit with her friends had been an extremely enlightening one. Now she would go home to the townhouse that she shared with no one, and give more thought to the idea of allowing someone else into her life. Besides, her friends had rightly pointed out one important piece of information that day and it was this – that she had them by her side always. And while this was a comfort in some ways, she realised that it had negatively impacted her also.
She needed their support, but also felt that having them to rely upon kept her so safe that she didn't feel the need to seek out other friends or build new relationships.
On the whole, there was much thinking that needed to be done concerning the direction of the next period of her life. Either way, no matter how she felt, or what she decided, there was still the possibility that Neville would not be interested in her as well. Arming herself with the possibility that she would be going into it with much to loose was better than making a fool out of herself in front of someone she respected, and yes, had strong feelings for.
She shook her head and continued on her way home. The last thing she wanted to do was getting caught up in this blizzard and she most certainly would if she continued to dally in the weather. Once she was well and truly past the school gates, she Apparated with a soft 'pop'.
To be continued.