AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! Also, a song referenced in here is "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold. For the purpose of the story I'd suggest listening to it for reference of what is going on ect.
Anyways, enjoy :)
xxxxx
The blaring of an alarm clock filled the room bright and early Sunday morning and I jumped, startled from the unexpected wake up call. Before I could lift my head from the pillow, an arm reached over me. After a single click, the repetitive loud noise ceased. I buried my face back in to the sanctuary of my pillow.
"Sorry about that." Paul wrapped his arm around me.
His voice was still heavy with sleep, hoarse and low. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up with the tone. Paul's voice was always fairly deep, but first thing in the morning that masculine low tenor of his dropped an octave. He sounded throaty and hot.
"What time is it?" I asked him, bringing a hand to my neck to inconspicuously smooth down the hairs there. "It's still dark out... there isn't even any light coming in through the blinds."
"I gotta be at work at seven, remember? It's five now."
With Paul's heavy arm still thrown around me, I pulled my pillow down a bit, adjusting to lay more comfortably. Fully grateful I wasn't the one working that day, not to mention so early, I shut my eyes.
"No one should ever have to wake up at Five in the morning on a freaking Sunday..." I gave him my empathy.
I intended to doze off, assuming he'd be getting up to shower for work. He didn't. Not really thinking anything of it, I didn't comment. Because really, who wanted to just leap out of bed at five in the morning for work? No one I knew. Not me, that was for sure.
Lying there in silence, I relaxed in his hold. The air conditioner hummed in the background, offering white noise in the darkness of our room. Paul rested his large hand on my side.
Just like his chest that was pressed up in to my back, the skin of his hand was warm. Under the covers, he spooned me before his hands began to wander. Over my hip, going up towards the base of my ribcage, he gently ran his palms over me.
His long fingers trailed along with his palm, lightly tickling me. It felt nice in drowsy state. I made a mental note of how gentle it was. I just really loved it, even whilst half asleep I felt so present with his touch. Just so calm and ready to drift off...
"You going to fall asleep on me?" Again, that deep morning voice of his startled me.
"Didn't mean to scare you." He apologized, feeling me flinch. "I guess you were falling asleep."
After I gave a sleepy hum for an answer, Paul continued rubbing me and kissed my neck apologetically.
"Nnn..." I made a small noise in my throat, shifting my shoulders a little as his lips tickled me.
I nudged my shoulder back in to him in half-hearted protest.
"Paul..."
"Hm?"
I whined quietly and tried scooting away but Paul's hand held me in place by the hip. He kissed me until I began to futilely try crane my neck away.
"I'm trying to sleep..."
"I see that."
The small kisses to my skin quickly changed. And as a result, I soon discovered just how ticklish I was around the neck. And how sensitive. Paul almost pulled a giggle from me.
"Quit it!" I bit my lip in an effort to stay strong because I was a man, damn it.
I was doing well to keep my dignity and masculinity intact, but that came to an end. He nipped my earlobe. And, that's when I yelped a pitch so high that I would never outwardly admit it.
"Hey!" I yelped, the complaint dying off as he began sucking the skin below my ear. "Nng..."
His tongue crept out from his mouth and licked me, ignoring the girly sound I'd made. Now significantly more conscious, I could feel my body responding to him. Arousal seeped through the lingering drowsy fog I felt and my breathing picked up. A large, hard mass pressed in to me.
"Don't you have to take a shower?"
"You wanna join me?" Paul offered huskily, pulling skin between his front teeth.
"Ah-Did you forget what freaking time it is?"
Unfazed by the fact it was the ass crack of dawn, Paul didn't falter at all. He threw off the bed sheet and dragged my waist back in to his crotch, grinding in to me. Being shirtless, I was hit directly with how cool the room had become with the air conditioner.
The skin of my chest tightened from the cold air, my nipples hardening. I unconsciously pressed back in to Paul as his body heat seared my back, a much nicer alternative to the cold biting me. Even with Paul's heat along my back, I was still freezing and tried pulling away to reach for the bed sheet.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Paul rolled my nipple between his fingers, playing with the stiff peaks. I'd never had my chest toyed with like that and I wriggled in response, a combination between overwhelmed and uncomfortable.
"You must be freezing, huh?" Paul commented, beginning to lightly tug my nipple. "Keep moving your ass like that. I'll keep you warm."
"Take it easy on my chest...just go take a shower!"
Paul took it as a challenge though and flipped me to lie on my back. In the brief struggle my bottoms had slid down to the very top of my pelvic bone, revealing the small dips along my hips. Paul didn't let me pull them up. He crawled on top of me.
"I'm not exactly trying to get ready, in case you haven't gathered that." He carefully pressed his weight in to me. "It's too fucking early...even for me."
"Clearly it's not that early, for you."
"It's pretty early, you're just a tempting little procrastination."
I scoffed.
"How flattering. Go take a shower."
"You're still invited to join."
"I'm not motivated to get out of bed and shower this early, for no reason."
The bulge Paul's pants pressed in to my thigh as a reminder of sorts.
"It's not for no reason."
"Doesn't change the fact I'm tired..."
"The shower will be warm."
Paul rubbed over my stomach in what felt to be a sensual manner. For a second, dread filled me. I braced myself for Paul to make a move and persuade me, for those fingers to venture where I wasn't in the mood for them to be.
"Paul, I really don't want to..."
"Relax, I'm not going to do anything." He told me, hearing the fear creep up in my voice.
"You're not?"
It was obvious how apprehensive I sounded and Paul paused, grunting as he then held me tighter.
"I wouldn't force you. What makes you think I would?" He scolded me before pausing. "Wait, don't answer that. I hear that asshole's name this early I'm going to have a problem. Thinking of it is putting me in a bad mood."
"...you haven't had a cigarette yet... Just saying."
"You insinuating I need one?"
"No, just you're in a better mood after you've had one."
It was true, Paul was a "happier" person after his smokes. If Paul smoked a cigarette, he was less likely to be set off at bullshit. Thankfully, I'd yet to anger him since becoming an item... but time was ticking. He was only human.
"I'm going to miss you today." Paul brought his hand off my body to my chin, turning me to kiss him in the dark. "I get out at three, so stay out of trouble 'till then."
"What trouble could I possibly get myself in to?"
"The possibilities are endless."
I snorted in mild amusement, Paul finally getting up. He knew once he left to shower that I'd be out like a light again. Before leaving, he set the blanket back over me as I rolled over on to my stomach.
"I'll message you when I'm clocked out, stay out of trouble until then. Seriously."
"If I don't answer you'll know something happened." I joked, dismissively. "I'll do my best to be good until three."
"You better."
Paul slapped my ass before going. As predicted, the bathroom door open and shut, then I drifted off to the sound of the water running.
xxxxx
Wake up calls proved to me my arch nemesis because I was startled awake by the sound of my pokedex going off. Although half asleep, I'd learned my lesson prior about answering calls before checking caller I.D first. So squinting, I managed to read the screen and confirmed it was not anyone I was avoiding...
"Hey, Richie."
"Ash! You're okay!" Richie pretty much yelled over the speaker.
"…Yes, I'm okay." I deadpanned groggily. " My ear drum is no longer working at full capacity though, jeez. "Why are you yelling? The fuck is going on?"
The phone was adjusted on Richie's end as I rubbed my face. He was all worked up over something and I hadn't a clue what it could be.
"You don't know how worried I was! I've been trying to call you since yesterday!"
"Richie, what are you talking about?"
"Your phone, it's been off! You disappeared and your Mom has been-"
As Richie went on frantically, I tried sitting up with my dex. While sitting up, I felt something tug on it. Looking down, I saw it was connected to the charger.
I hadn't remembered plugging it in, or even having it on the nightstand. I was confused before concluding it had been Paul who got it from my bag and plugged it in while I was asleep. Apparently, it had been dead.
"...Missing person's report-"
"Wait, what? Run that by me again."
"Your mom thought something happened to you! She called Gary, going on about you going missing. Gary has her convinced Paul kidnapped you or something!"
"AND, YOU BELIEVED THAT!?"
Pulling the charger from my dex I sat up straight, fully alert.
"No! But, when you didn't answer your damn dex for anyone, I didn't really have too many options!" Richie chided me. "Your mom wants to report you missing. I figured I'd try calling one more time and thank God I did!"
"...was she really going to report me missing?"
"Duh! She was going to call the police if I couldn't get ahold of you. Yesterday, she called and they said she had to wait twenty-four hours to report you missing."
Leave it to my mother to jump to worst case scenarios. Leave it to Gary to fuel her. I was notorious for ignoring phone calls, but this was stupid. Fuck. It wasn't even the first time I'd snuck out of the house.
"I scared my Mom, great...so what?"
"You fucking scared me too, Asshole! You didn't call me like I asked you to!"
Richie snapped at me, legitimately angry. I was taken back by it for a second.
"My dex died!" I argued, in defensive of myself. "I forgot to plug it in yesterday! Paul plugged it in for me this morning while I was sleeping!"
A loud sigh came from Richie, one of relief and frustration. I pinched the bridge of my nose, already dreading the drama I'd yet to really grasp had brewed. My blood pressure was rising, I could feel it. A headache was building just as steadily.
"Please, call my mom. Tell her that I'm fine, Richie. I don't want this getting out of hand."
"Okay, fine. For the love of-just please keep your dex charged!"
"Okay, okay! Fuck...I just woke up."
Richie hung up and did as he promised. I knew because he called me ten minutes later as I was coming out of the bathroom. Mom was informed I was fine, still clueless to where exactly I was, but fine.
Unfortunately, none had been able to get ahold of Gary. According to Richie, Oak said he'd fled Pallet earlier that morning in a hurry. Hours prior, even.
"Gee, I wonder where he's headed..." I groaned, mostly to myself. "Shit...I'm surprised he hasn't blown up my dex yet."
Richie's anger subsided enough for me to hear worry creep in to his voice.
"Ash...he doesn't know exactly where you are, right?"
"He doesn't know the room number."
There was an understanding that didn't have to be outwardly spoken. Gary was on his way back to Sinnoh and knew where to look for me. If Paul wasn't here... there would just be us.
"It's almost lunch time, bet you twenty bucks he's storming the Pokémon Center by then."
"Richie, that's not funny. Paul's at work. I'm in the room alone until Three."
"Call Nurse Joy and tell her not to give your name or room number to anyone. Keep the door locked. I mean, unless you're looking to actually get kidnapped today, Dude. "
xxxxx
Sitting around waiting for Paul to come home was horrible. Richie was too far away to come over in time, although he offered to try anyways. When ending the call, I accepted I was alone.
I took a shower completely paranoid, constantly pausing to listen for any noise. By the time I'd stepped out and dried off, I was scared to leave the bathroom. It was ridiculous. I wasn't a generally scared person, I wasn't skittish. But, suddenly I was in desperate need of a safety blanket.
Just my misfortune that he was at work.
Thinking of Paul as a safety blanket urged me to leave the bathroom in a forced moment of bravery. I couldn't depend on Paul like that. Logically I knew could, but my pride wouldn't let me. Reminding myself I was a man capable of watching out for himself, I stormed out of the bathroom to get dressed.
It lingered above my head, the situation I was in. Trapped in a building I'd been stupid enough to tell Gary I was in. He wasn't a violent person, not that I'd ever seen. I just couldn't even handle the thought of being around him anymore.
Gary made me nauseous. His body aside...he was revolting. I found it amazing it had taken me so long to feel as disgusted as I was. His manipulation, his insults, his arrogance...He could shove it all up his ass and keep it.
The room was far too quiet that afternoon as I waited for three to roll around. By two o'clock, I'd paced back and forth so many times I actually managed to fatigue myself. I hadn't eaten. I couldn't sit down.
"This is ridiculous...I'm all wound up for nothing."
Just as I began to humor the thought that Gary wasn't going to show up, there was a loud rapping on the door. It wasn't on mine. The loud sound sent me over the edge, anyways.
It startled me and I jumped, clutching a hand to my chest. Beneath my ribcage my heart hammered with a vengeance, my airway constricting. I couldn't breath and gradually my vision went fuzzy around the edges as I fought for air, limbs shaking. I couldn't escape the feeling.
I just couldn't escape.
Hyperventilating, I dropped to my knees at the edge of the couch. Holding the arm of it, I trembled. There was invisible weight on me, crushing me until I folded in to myself. Sobs emerged from deep from inside myself, clawing its way out like a parasite.
My cheeks ached and my eyes burned as I sobbed, my throat swelling. On the floor, lying across it like dead weight, I struggled to even understand what was happening to me. In that moment, I truly had a reason to be terrified.
I was alone and had no clue whether to pray for it to stay that way, or for someone to find me.
xxxxx
"Where do you think you're going?"
"We already went over this."
"I told you you're not allowed to go."
What had started as a conversation over text soon became a phone call. Dressed and ready to leave my house, I had sent Gary a text letting him know I was going out with Richie. I was supposed to meet up with him at someone else's house for a party.
"Don't start." I warned him, doing a double glance across my bedroom to ensure I hadn't forgotten anything. "I already promised I'd go. It's Richie's cousin's birthday party. You're worrying over nothing."
"I'm not worrying. I'm telling you you're not going."
I rolled my eyes and dismissed Gary's bullshit. He gave that telltale annoyed click of his tongue. The one that warned he was going to take things up a notch because he wasn't getting his way.
"Go to that party, but don't you dare say you love me when you get back. Clearly you don't. You selfish asshole." he bit at me through the speaker. "We're through if you go."
"You're being unreasonable."
"No, you're being unreasonable! I'm telling you not to go and you won't even respect that!"
That week I'd had too much of Gary.
"Consider us over then!" In a moment of rage I snapped at him. "Richie's waiting for me."
There was a brief pause from Gary.
"I'll see you at Six." He followed it up with a flat tone.
Like he hadn't just been dumped. Like he hadn't taken me seriously...because, he really hadn't
"The party ends at Ten, Gary. Doesn't matter either way, I'm sick of this."
"I. Will. See. You. At. Six."
I hung up on him and out the door I went, muttering to myself that it was probably over anyways. I wound up staying low key at the party, as I usually did. Richie came and found me after mingling.
With drinks in hand he sidled up to me on the wall. He nudged me with his shoulder handing me a drink.
"You're supposed to be the one up in Gary's ass, not the other way around."
"Huh?"
Richie waved off the dirty joke. Giving me a sympathetic side glance with those green eyes of his, he scratched at one brown eyebrow before taking a sip of his drink.
"You look like something crawled up your ass. What happened this time?"
I wasn't very willing to disclose the millionth thing Gary had done to stress me out that week, or the previous three years. My silence was the least bit reassuring to Richie.
"Mm mm mm." he chided, taking a drink. "Haven't you had enough of it, yet? I mean, I know he's gorgeous and all... but, so are you. You can do better."
"I'm nothing special, Richie. "
Being my best friend, Richie didn't like how easily I could put myself down. He was always quick to scold me. But this time, he sighed. He took a heavy breath and let go, sounding more disappointed than anything.
"...it's pitiful, you know. The way you two fight."
"Couples fight, it happens. It's really not that bad."
I wasn't willing to admit how miserable I was at the time. I was ashamed. As the night went on Richie and I went about our business, chatting and indulging in cocktails like everyone else.
There was dancing but I didn't partake. While people enjoyed themselves, I was back on the wall watching on sulkily as my buzz wore off. Three years... it kept hanging over my head. Eventually it would be four.
I shook my head sadly, telling myself another year could change everything. That's how time worked, it fixed things and balanced it all out. My pocket went off with an incoming message and I checked it, aggravated when seeing it was Gary.
It was five o'clock and he was expecting me soon. I blamed the alcohol at the time, but on my own accord I made a horrible choice. I ignored him.
An hour rolled by and suddenly there was a new guest at the party. The door bell rang and something in the universe warned me of what was to come. Somewhere in me a chord was struck, humming with warning.
In walked Gary, and he spotted me in the crowd in no time. Weaving through he came right up in front of me, and smiled tightly. That beautiful face of his turning sour when everyone around us was too busy with their drinks and such to even see.
Because otherwise, those eyes would have been sparkling on top of a happy mask.
"I told you I'd see you at Six."
xxxxx
It felt as if I'd blinked and suddenly I wasn't crumbled to the floor anymore. Underneath me felt warm. With time, I felt the weight of a blanket on me.
I could faintly smell Paul's soap and came to realize I was in his bed. The world around me slowly came in to focus as I regained my senses. Confused, I shifted. A large warm hand touched me.
"..."
No clue what to expect, I waited for Paul to say something. Lying on my stomach with my face away from him, I swallowed heavily.
"You okay?"
"Y-Yeah..."
"Good. You scared the shit out of me when I found you on the floor. Looks like you had a panic attack."
"I didn't have a panic attack..."
My lies didn't impress Paul. I don't even know why I tried.
"I found you on the floor, curled in to yourself." Paul explained bluntly. "You'd been crying, and evidently so hard you passed out."
I had no response for him. Paul sighed. I soon found out he was sitting up against the headboard because his arm reached over my head, grabbing something off the nightstand. They were his cigarettes. He tapped one out and held it between his lips as he placed the carton back and got the ash tray.
He flicked the tab on his lighter, the sound impossibly loud in the silence of the room. I heard Paul take a drag, chucking the lighter aside. It clattered.
Without having to be told, I knew he was worried. Because instead of just taking that cigarette outside, he was smoking it inside. Right next to me. Paul hated getting his second hand smoke near me.
"What happened?" he asked, cutting straight to the chase. "Talk."
"I..."
My explanation died at my lips because I didn't know how to start. Paul took a heavy drag and I could hear the tension in him building.
"I was scared." I said the first thing that came to mind.
"I knew something was wrong when you didn't answer my message." Paul grumbled, revealing he had actually messaged me when clocking out. "I told you to stay out of trouble."
The hand Paul had on my back came up to smooth down my hair. He carried on smoking. hated to admit I was scared. Of Gary no less.
I was scared of someone who couldn't physically take me on. It was pathetic.
"Something trigger the panic? Or were you over thinking, again?"
"It's more complicated than that. "
"I'm listening."
Very wearily, I talked. Paul listening, not commenting at all. Not until I was done.
It all spilled from me like vomit once I let the floodgates open. Paul finished his cigarette, letting his last drag leave his lips.
"We're moving." he announced simply, no room for argument. "You're never going to relax if he knows where you are."
"Even if we room somewhere else I still have to come back. I work here." I argued weakly.
"You'll get a new job. Simple as that."
Being Paul spoke so confidently, I wasn't worried. I loved my job at the Pokémon Center but Paul was right, I'd never have my peace of mind there anymore. In the room or on the job.
What I was worried about was our next living arrangement. The Pokémon Center room was cheap, even cheaper for me because I worked there. I only just afforded it as is, but I was about to be jobless for an undetermined amount of time.
"I don't have enough money for an apartment...and the next Pokémon Center doesn't have any vacancies. Nurse Joy keeps getting people referred over from there. Where are we going to go?"
"I know someone who will take us in."
xxxxx
Bags packed, Paul and I had dropped our keys off with Nurse joy as well as my last minute job resignation notice. She was worried, but I couldn't do much to console her. According to Paul it was better to keep details vague.
So, off we went, walking through town. Paul led me to a community center of sorts, one I didn't know about. Through it we walked, coming closer to an auditorium, music blaring from behind the doors.
Paul led the way in confidently, unbothered by the noise. I figured there was some sort of show going on...but the center didn't look busy enough for what sounded like a rock concert.
We walked in and I saw there was a stage, with a band set up. A man with hair so black it was nearly blue hair stood dead center of the stage, microphone in hand with no audience.
Hair done up in a voluminous faux hawk, the man ran his fingers through the fringe. Paul made eye contact with him, and the man caught our entrance without delay. He smiled, and took a step forward, black leather boots clicking the stage, before he gave a hand signal to the musicians.
"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." he drawled in to the microphone before the drummer began wailing glutterally with the oncoming verse. "Ahhh!"
The auditorium was filled all around with loud, escalating drumming and an electric guitar blaring. I flinched initially at the loud noise.
"Caught here in a fiery blaaaaze, won't lose my will to staaaay..." The man sang, trailing off before tearing in to accelerated verse. "I triiied to drive on through the night. The heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights. No oasis here to seeeeee. The sand is singing deathless words to me-"
Strutting forward, the lead singer's loose black pants swayed with him and he leaned in, looking right at Paul before singing deep in his chest with building volume. I was taken back by the sudden attention placed right before me by a singer. Paul on the other hand, was as stoic as ever.
"Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn? All alooone. Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own! All aloooone. No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention."
The singer smirked and retreated, going on like I presumed any other performance he did would go. Only exception was, the singer was extremely attentive to Paul. And Paul didn't seem to care.
"As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights. My hand is on the trigger! And I'm ready to igniiiite. Tomorrow might not make, it but everything's all right!"
I felt uneasy as the loud music bounced on my eardrums, hammering all the way through my ribcage. Paul, still unfased, fit right in with all the ruckus just as the band. The singer moved about as if the melody flowed through him, assimilating with his entire being. Unbothered by the vibrating speakers set on either side of the stage, or Paul's cold eyes.
"Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free! Can't you… Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn? All alooone!" He wailed. "Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own. All aloooone. No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention."
The music calmed briefly, doing little to calm my anxiety. Paul, still watched on, holding the lead singer's stare. I really didn't know what feeling was creeping up on me, but I didn't like it. I watched the singer closely, unable to keep my eyes off of him.
"So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear. Now take a trip with me...But don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem."
The singer broke eye contact with Paul to go about his strutting and siding along the stage, head banging to the building guitar riff.
"Caught here in a fiery blaaaaaze, won't lose my will to stay. These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today!"
Paul crossed his arms and I quickly began anticipating the reveal of why Paul had taken us there. All I could surmise was one of the bandmates was our ticket to a room. At that point, I wasn't sure how to feel about that.
"Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die. We look up towards the sky, for answers to our lives. We may get some solutions but most just pass us by. Don't want your absolution 'Cause I can't make it right!"
Turning sharply on his heel, the singer pointed to Paul with eyes lively. It was only then that I noticed those sharp eyes were a vivid, icy blue.
"I'll make a beast out of myseeelllf... Gets rid of all the pain of... being...a...man."
An eerie silence filled the room with the die out of his voice.
"Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn? All alooone! Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own. All aloooone. No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention."
Steadily creeping in, the singer took a large bracing breath and sang out with great force. It hit me, not only the resonance of his voice but that he was singing to Paul. And that Paul was pissed. That was enough to make me more apprehensive and I hoped that whoever we were there to see was not the lead singer.
"So sorry you're not here. I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear. Now take a trip with me. But, don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem."
With shoulders held back and chin out, the singer's eye lids narrowed to slits as his lips curled. As if he were serenading Paul, he smiled. So confidently, like he'd known him forever. He shared eye contact with Paul like it was nothing.
"I've known it from the start. All these good ideas will tear your brains apart. Scared, but you can follow me. I'm too weird to live... but much too rare to die."
The chord died out and the song came to an end. The vibrations dwindled and the singer kept his eyes on Paul, chortling when Paul's lips pulled back in to a line.
"I wasn't expecting an audience, Paul. How about a round of applause?"
"You applaud yourself enough for the both of us, Alain"
Staring down Paul, Alain signaled to the band to take a break. He hopped off the stage down to Paul and I. Turned out Alain was nearly eye to eye with Paul, just a few inches separating them in height. Paul was still the more intimidating of the two. Taller or not, that wasn't it.
"So, what can I do for you today? Long time no see there, Paul."
Unimpressed, Paul eyed him. He looked like he was contemplating something. Paul glanced at me before looking back to Alain.
"I'm cashing in a favor."
xxxxx