Full summary: "the war is over (...) The Dark Lord was finally defeated. But many died (...) and the story should be repeated" Lily was a normal girl until the day she discoveres she is a witch. that's when it all gets really weird. She finds out that it existed another Lily Evans, muggle-born, who died, that was exactly like her! and what about this James Potter? Arrogant jerk. and only because he is the son of the auror Harry Potter!

Disclaimer: i don't own anything, except for the plot

Author's note: ok, thanks for everyone who reviewed! It really made me feel inspired.

Sorry for the late update, but school started day 3 as I was overload with homework.

As for everyone who asked me to start speaking more about Lily Potter, well, I actually didn't talk about her sooner because I thought in first and second year they would be to immature to deal with it. Except Remus, but he is a special case. But anyway, Lily will remember some more things from her past life and make some deductions, but not yet in this chapter.

Professor Slughorn is not the same for Harry Potter's books, it's his daughter. Old professor Slughorn would be dead by now!

Lily's POV

The woman saw one more flash of green light and bit her lip trying not to scream. She could hear the fight between the two men downstairs, and she knew one would end up dead. She was petrified inside the dark room, only lit by the flashes.

Had she not known what the green flashes were, she would be delighted by such beauty. The green light remembered her so much of the fireworks she used to see in her childhood with her family… Family who was now gone. Killed by this same monster.

A sudden noise of a body hitting the floor brought her back to reality. She didn't need anything else to know they had lost. Something inside her felt empty and broken. Something was missing. She heard someone laughing and that only made her sure they had lost. He was dead, her other half was dead. Her eyes started to well up, but she didn't let the tears out. 'I won't give him that pleasure', she thought

The door of her bedroom opened suddenly, and she knew it was the end. The only thing she could see was a man in dark robes and red eyes who searched for her madly.

'Why fight? Life's not worthy without him'

She slapped herself mentally for thinking such a stupid thing and straight herself, prepared to fight whatever was coming.

'But he will live. And through him we'll live. He's my reason to fight. He won't be killed by this monster.' she repeated in her mind 'I would be the last person he kills'

I woke up startled. My entire body was shaking with fear and I was all sweaty. 'What happened?' I asked myself as I looked around me.

I was no longer in the room, but back in the Hogwarts Express. I sighed in relief.

Somehow I had managed to fall onto the floor, and everyone was around me. I knew they were speaking, I saw their mouths moving, but I just couldn't hear what they were saying.

I was in a trance, my mind was still in the dream, searching every part and trying to understand what it meant.

'Someone died, someone that was dear to the woman. He was probably her husband. The woman, she was thinking about a monster, the red eyed man, and how he wouldn't kill him, because she would fight for him. But… who? They were only the two men and herself in that… house… And the green light, what was it?'

My head was spinning and I was felling weak. It all felt so real…

Suddenly, someone's voice rang through my shield.

"Lily, talk to us!"

As much as I tried, I couldn't identify the voices; it was all too confused for me.

"What happened?"

"Are you alright?"

"Of course she is not alright!"

"Calm down you two! Won't you stop fighting even in this moment?"

"Jesus, stop yelling!"

"Lily, tell us something!"

"She isn't speaking!"

"Thank you, genius, for pointing the obvious!"

"Lindsay, Sirius, shut up!"

"Someone better get Pomfrey"

At this, my head shoot up. 'No, not the healer!"

"Black, go get her"

"And why me? You can't boss me around!"

"Can we concentrate on the important right now? For example, I don't know, LILY?"

"Sorry, you're right. I'll go get Pomfrey"

"No." I said weakly, my voice only about a whisper, and that I was sure they barely heard "No" I repeated, louder this time

They all stopped moving and looked at me. No one spoke.

I helped myself to a sitting position, but wouldn't dare to look at them. I never had been as terrified as I was at that moment; the dream kept repeating itself in my mind.

"What happened?" I asked the nearest person, who happened to be Remus

"Eat this" was his answer, handing me a piece of chocolate "It always helps"

I tried, but couldn't smile. The terrified thoughts of the last minutes of the woman's life still filled my head.

I asked my question again, and I wasn't even surprised as to why it was Potter who answered me.

"You start speaking while you were sleeping. We couldn't understand what it was, it wasn't clear. But then you started screaming and moving and you fell to the floor"

I looked at him without really seeing him. 'I screamed?'

"What happened, Lils?"

I looked up and found myself staring at Bessie's deep eyes. 'Can you read minds?' I found myself thinking sceptically 'Because I don't want to speak about my dream'

Somehow, Bessie understood what I was trying to say. She just got down and hugged me.

I left my head fall in her shoulder but didn't cry. The woman in the dream had said she wouldn't give him the pleasure, and so wouldn't I.

"Was it that bad?" she asked quietly, and only I heard it

"It was awful, Bess. I never have dreamt of something as bad. I've never been has scared as I am now…"

"Shh… it was just a dream. Nothing happened. It was just a dream…"

"Yes, just a dream. Just a dream…" I repeated, as if I was trying to make myself sure of the fact. Because somehow, deep inside, I knew I was wrong. 'It was too real. Too real'

The rest of the trip was stressful.

All the way the dream kept repeating in my mind, and I just couldn't tell anyone what the dream was about. It was too horrible.

During the feast, my mind was able to concentrate in something else than the dream, but I didn't enjoy the feast like the previous years.

I hadn't spoke a word since my conversation with Bessie (that is, if you can call it a conversation). The words just wouldn't come out.

Last time this happened, was when I was attacked by an owl. 'Pos-traumatic shock', the doctor had said.

The girls found it weird, but they didn't press me. They just stood by me, eyeing me carefully. Even the boys sat next to us doing the same.

I honestly didn't know if I should be thankful by that or mad. I knew there were just looking for the best for me, but it was annoying that they kept sending me concerning stares, as if I would faint at any moment, or start screaming.

That was why I didn't go right up to the dormitory and stayed instead in the common room that night, staring at the fire in a lost way.

"Are you feeling better?"

I didn't need to look to know it was Remus. His voice calmed me in someway, as if everything was going to be alright. I felt that our connection was much deeper that it seemed… it was like I knew him since ever.

I just turned my head to him and smiled, turning again to the dying fire.

"I know what you dreamt about"

I looked at him a frowned. How could he know?

"You dreamt of a half dressed James, stalking you with one owl in each arm, asking you to pet them and shag him"

I let my lips open in a smile, as I give him a scandalised look. 'That would surely be an awful and scary dream'

"So it's true? You have been dreaming about James half naked? Shame on you Lily Anna Evans!"

I laughed, but still no sound left my mouth.

"See, at least I made you laugh. Or I think I did. Why do you think you can't speak?"

I searched for the little note book I had taken from my trunk earlier and wrote in there, passing it to Remus.

"Pos-traumatic shock. Uh. And how do you know?"

He passed me back the note book and I wrote in there again, passing it to him.

"Owls. Attack. How am I suppose to make a sentence out of this?" he asked me laughing

Again, I wrote on the note book.

"What do you mean, you thought I was smarter?" he looked at the note book and concentrate on the words. Then he passed it back to me "I'm guessing you didn't spoke as well when you were attacked by owls. Am I right?"

I nodded.

"How long did you stayed like that?"

I wrote in the note book and passed it to him.

"One week? You'll stay one week without talking?"

I looked back into the fire. He sighed.

"So, am I ever going to find out what your dream was?"

I felt the smile leave my lips as my mind tried not to remember it at all. All I did was shook my head no.

"We are worried about you Lils. Really worried, both the girls and the boys. Even James is."

He stopped for a moment before he spoke again.

"It mustn't have been just a dream for you to stay like that. Was it that bad?"

'Speaking about it now won't help me'

"Maybe we should talk to a professor. The Headmistress, for example. Or Hermione if you feel more comfortable with her"

Again, I shook my head "no".

I wrote in the note book that I was felling tired and went up to my dormitory, where I hoped everyone was already asleep, even if I knew sleep wouldn't come that night.

Like I had expected, I wasn't able to sleep during that day, afraid I would have to see it all again.

The first few days of class were a complete hell. I couldn't speak, but I also couldn't explain to the professors why I wasn't speaking (and I made everyone promise they wouldn't tell them). They (the professors) made me go to Madam Pomfrey so that she would be able to see why I wasn't talking.

She found nothing was wrong with me, and concluded I would start speaking in time (giving me the news of my life).

If before I was already a victim of the Slytherins because of being muggle born, it all got really worse. As the professors gave me a special attention, they got the habit of cornering me anywhere they found me and insult me. This led the girls to be always with me, and even the boys sometimes.

All this together with the sleepless night I've had had, made me start spending all the time I could in the library or in the girls dormitory.

Even during the meals I started going to the kitchens instead of the Great Hall.

That's why, two weeks later, on a sunny Saturday, I was the only person inside the school, in the Library dusting with the books.

I had only started at half an hour and had all my essays ready. Sometimes I really hated being bookworm.

I especially enjoyed the Ancient Runes one. 'It's a fascinating subject, I'm glad I'm taking it'. The only missing was the one Professor Binns asked for. 'The most boring'

'Now, where did the librarian go?' I asked myself as I looked around the library 'Of course! Now that I need her she goes away!'

I sighed in exasperation as I directed myself to the History of magic shelves 'I guess I'll have to look for this by myself. War…War… War… Here it is'

As I took the book about the goblin's war from the shelf for my essay, another book fell from behind it.

As I caught the book from the floor, I couldn't stop myself from notice the title 'The truth about the chosen's life'.

'Lily, put that back. You won't read that' my logical side said. 'You don't know what you might find in there plus is forbidden'. But, unlike other times, my logical side lost the war. 'It can't be that bad. It's about Potter's father, isn't it? He is the chosen, right?' I put the book that had felt inside my bag, and took the other to tell Madam Pince I was taking it with me. 'This book needs time, and I'm sure Madam Pince wouldn't let me take it. Nor read it. I'll put it back after.' I thought to myself, as I showed the book to Madam Pince and ran out of the library to my common room.

'Ouch!'

"Jesus Lily Flower, where are you going with such hurry?"

'Black' He had taking a craze in calling me Lily Flower, which I absolutely loathed but couldn't complain about, as I couldn't speak. 'From all the people I had to run into him'

I looked at him and tried to remember something to tell him. 'You're really stupid Lily Evans. You can't speak remember?'

I sighed in relief.

"Sometimes, I ask myself who is the craziest, you or me" Black said. I smiled. "Listen, I came to take you with me to the tryouts. They will start in fifteen minutes, and Eri is trying out for the beater place"

'What? Not now! I have the book to read!' I though as I shook my head no, to tell him I wasn't going.

"Erica said you would say that. She told me to drag you if you didn't cooperate"

I took my note book furiously out of the bag, for telling him I didn't, no, I couldn't go to the tryouts, but I stopped when the book I had taken for the library earlier felt and he caught it.

I froze in my spot.

He looked at the book cover and then at me, then back at the book cover and then at me again.

"Why are you reading about the James' father? I thought Madam Pince didn't let us read about it yet. I mean, his life is kind of scary. The things he went through... not even James knows about it all" he said naively

I made a sign for him to keep it down and snatched the book out of his hand before he could stop me, putting it back in my bag.

"Why are you reading that Lily Flower?"

I made an exasperated sighed and started walking in the direction of the grounds, Black following me 'As it seems I can't escape it now' I thought bitterly

"So you're coming? Great." he said smiling, which made me forgot I was mad at him and smile too

"There she is!" Alice said

Black and I had arrived to the quidditch pitch just in time to see the tryouts begin.

Frank and Alice were already here, snogging their heads out (Gross...), Potter, Lind and Eri where down in the pitch, and Remus had gone looking for Bessie, they arrived five minutes later. 'I'm still trying to understand why it wasn't Remus who went to find me, instead of Black.'.

Chris was sat also sat with us, but he was really quiet looking at the quidditch tryouts. 'Weird.' He was probably there because Erica asked him. 'Like I've said before: he likes her'

"Where?" Bessie asked, examining the crowd that was trying out for beater.

"There! Can't you see the mass of red hair in the middle?" Frank answered laughing

Alice smacked him playfully in the arm.

"Do you have anything against red haired people?" Alice said, and I cooperated by making a mad face

"You know what they say about red heads, mate. Don't mess with them" Black said smirking

"Do you think she'll get the place?" Bessie asked

"Of course! Her father has been training her to be a beater since ever. He and my father were both the beaters of Gryffindor during school" Alice informed us

I smiled. It must have been really cute. Twin beaters.

"And your father didn't train you to be a beater?"

"He tried. But found out the hard way I haven't got any quidditch player blood in me. I'm like my mother."

"Do you think she'll tell Lee if she gets in the team?" Bessie asked

"Of course! He's just as crazy as she is about quidditch!" Alice said

"Who is Lee?" a voice to my left asked. Chris.

"Lee is Erica's boyfriend" Alice said. I kicked her. Hard.

She understood me wrong.

"Sorry, she says he is only an 'especial friend'." Alice said, giggling

'This girl… Honestly!'

I looked at Chris and could see his face fall. 'He thought Erica liked him back'.

"Anyway, she'll make a great beater. She's the ideal person for the place" Black said, the only one who must have understood what was wrong with Chris too.

Chris smiled. 'He actually can smile! Impressive.'

"Well, I have some essays to do. I'm going back to the Gryffindor tower. See you later" he said, and left us

"Ok then" Frank said awkwardly. He too seemed to understand what was wrong with him.

"You can be really tactless sometimes, Alice!" Black said

"Why? What did I said?" she asked us

I just shook my head and concentrate on the tryouts again, where Erica was.

"She is as good as you Sirius. You would give her a running for her money" Frank said, clearly impressed.

That time, Frank was the one who got kicked.

"Yeah. Why aren't you trying out?" Bessie asked

"Didn't felt like" he said simply

'Somehow I don't think that's true. And that's probably why Frank got kicked'

"Actually, he's afraid of it. Because last year he failed that quaffle" Remus said

I pang of guilt started to grow in the pit of my stomach.

"It was an easy quaffle! I shouldn't have missed her!" Sirius shouted

Remus sent me a look that clearly said 'This is your fault'. I looked down.

'It's not like there was a way for me to know this was going to happen!' I thought "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!" I said in a voice that appeared not being used at days.

"Sorry for what Lily Flower? It wasn't your fault. It was…" Black stopped mid-sense, and so did I. 'Wait a second. I really don't use my voice at days! Did I just spoke?'

"Lily, say something" Bessie asked

"And what the hell do you want me to say?" I asked her.

'I can speak! I can speak!'

"Lily! Your voice is back!" Alice said, jumping up and down

Soon, Bessie and I were doing the same thing.

"I honestly don't know if I want to be seen with you three jumping like that!" Remus said

I laughed, and laughed even more when I heard sound coming out of my mouth.

"And I couldn't care less of what people will think if they see us jumping up and down like this!" I said, hugging him

He felt on the seat behind him and I felt over him. It was an awkward position, and I found myself staring at two dark brown eyes, which were staring back at me.

'Calm down Lily. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…'

"You two, get a room!" Black said, breaking my concentration

I stood up quickly and didn't dare to look at Remus eyes again. Never knew what I might found…

"You just needed another person's trauma to get over yours! Brilliant!" Frank said, breaking the ice.

Suddenly I remembered I had my voice back, and started screaming again (which earn my a few odd glances from other Gryffindors). With so much confusion about my voice being back, no one remembered about what I said to Black, or why did I say it in the first place. 'Way to feel guilty Evans'

"And that's one more Weasley in the team!" Alice said as she hugged Eri later that night back in the common room, after dinner (which I actually ate in the Great Hall for once).

"Yeah… if you played quidditch you could be my beater partner"

"Erica, I'm your beater partner" Tom Travel, the other beater said

"I know, I know… but you'll be out next year!" Eri said

He laughed.

"Didn't knew you liked me that much" he said ironically

"Oh, but I do" she answered in the same tone

"Yeah, right. But I want my quidditch team in bed now. Our first practise is tomorrow" Amors said. Did I mention he is Head Boy this year? 'Yeah… he's perfect… cute, athletic and smart…'

"Already?" Bessie asked in disbelief

"It's nine o'clock and you've just picked you new beater today. Who, may I add, is my cousin" Potter added. At least he was proud for his cousin.

"Of course! We have to start practising as soon as we can! We already lost two weeks!"

"Amors, if you don't mind, I'll stay here with them for some more time. We have two things to party for" Eri said

"Ok, but with one condition: don't call me Amors. It's Adam now" he flashed her a smile.

I never wanted to be Erica so much in my life.

"It's a deal then."

"Everyone else, bed" he said "You can stay too, James"

"I was staying either way" Potter said back smiling

"You remember me of myself so much. I hope you get to captain once I'm off the school" Amors said, going up to his own dormitory

"So, I'm going down to the kitchens to get us something"

"I'm going with you, Black."

Weird… Lind offered herself to go with Black. She actually offered.

"Fine" Black said and started walking to the portrait hole.

Lind stopped him and walked in front of him.

"So, everyone's here?" Eri said, looking around "Where is Chris?"

'I don't want to answer that'.

It seemed no one wanted.

"Lily? Where is Chris?"

'Damn. She had to pick me'

"Well, he came back earlier from the tryouts. He's probably sleeping or something"

She smiled nervously "Did he see me? On the tryouts?"

I suddenly found my shoes pretty interesting.

"Well… no"

Erica's POV

"Well… no" Lily said

He hadn't seen me? But I wanted him to see me! He promised he would!

"Where is he? The dormitory you said?" I asked her really calmly

She looked at my face. She was probably expecting me to explode. 'Well, I won't. Not on them, anyway.'

"I guess. Just don't go too hard on him" I heard her saying as I climbed the stairs "He didn't have to see you."

Oh yes he had!

I opened the door of the boys' dormitory and closed it once I was inside.

"You four are already here? I wasn't expecting you so soon. Did Erica make the team?"

I walked to where I heard the voice coming and drew the curtains back.

"Yes. I did make the team. But you weren't there to see me" I said as coldly as I knew

"Oh. It's you." He shuddered slightly because of my tone. 'Good. You better do.'

"No, it's Santa" I said sarcastically, as I sat in his bed "Why did you came back earlier?"

"Well, I had some essays to finish, so I came" he said. His voice was as cool as that first day we talked

"But you promised me you were going to see me"

"Well, I couldn't"

"Yes, you could"

He said something but I didn't hear.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that" I said

"I said, I'm sure you would prefer Lee to be there"

I smiled. He was jealous! 'Why is he jealous anyway?'

"I don't know what that has to do with this. And how do you know about Lee?"

He sighed.

"Just leave me, would you?" he said, and I know he meant it in more than one way

"Sorry honey, but I won't. We're friends, you know?"

"Fine. Just get let me sleep, okay?"

I sighed.

"Aren't you at least happy for me?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"Okay. Fine. Stay alone if you want"

"So? What did he said?" Lily asked me when I took my seat next to her

"Who told him about Lee?"

She smiled.

"He said something to you about him? See, I knew he liked you!"

"This time I agree with Lily" Frank said

"You two shut up with that. He does not like me and I do not like him."

"I never said you did…"

Sometimes, I feel like killing Lily.

"Come on, leave it."

"Thanks Bessie. I own you one."

"Don't worry, I'll charge it" Bessie said, winking at me

"We're back" Sirius said loudly as ever, dropping drinks and food in front of us

"Lind didn't kill you? I'm impressed" Lily said

"You know she wouldn't. Deep inside, she loves him!"

Lily's POV

"You know she wouldn't. Deep inside, she loves him!"

I smiled even more as Lind's cheeks went as red as her hair.

"Honestly, you two! The day I like Black is the day I'll slap one of you"

"Ok. I'll start staying away from you from now on. Never know when you can slap me…" Eri said, but before Lind could say anything else, she spoke again "Lets eat, should we?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Black and Potter started attacking.

"Honestly… if I hadn't seen you I would say you mustn't eat in days!"

"I don't think I asked your opinion Weasley" Black spat at Lindsay, who only rolled her eyes

I smiled and started eating with them.

"So, in two weeks we're going to Hogsmeade!" Alice said

"Why are you so excited? It's not like you haven't been there a million times. Or parents have a store there, remember?" Erica asked

"Yeah, but with your friends is always different!"

"Does that mean you're leaving Frank to come with us instead?" Bessie asked with an evil smirking

"No, it means he's coming with us" Alice answered matter-of-factly

My jaw dropped. 'Does that mean they're all coming with us?'

"No, Lily, don't worry. It's just Frank who's going with you" Remus said.

'I love how he always reads my mind!'

"Thank God"

"Black, what are you doing on Lily's bag?" Lind asked

I looked back and saw he was indeed searching my bag.

"I can ask the same thing"

"I… I was looking for your little note book Lily flower!"

I looked at him and tried to decipher if he was lying. 'He seems truthful'

"And for what did you want my note book?"

"Just to see what you have been writing in these past days. Never know when you can find something interesting…" he smirked

"Next time, just ask" I said

"Would you say yes if I had asked?"

"No"

"See?! That's why I didn't ask!"

"Fine, Sirius, fine. Keep it if you want."

"Hey! You called me Sirius!"

I smiled and took my bag back, concentrating on the conversation again.

About one hour later the girls and I decided to go to sleep. And it was only when I was already laid in my bed that I remembered the book. The one I had taken from the library earlier about Potter's father.

I got up and start searching for my bag that should be somewhere on the floor.

'Here she is'

I searched between my books expecting to see it there but it wasn't.

"Shit. Where is that thing?" I poured my bag's contents on my bed and searched for it like crazy. Yet, I didn't find it.

"Bloody hell. I can't have lost that thing!"

"Lily? What are you doing?" I heard a distant voice ask. I ignored it.

"Where did I put it? Please, it has to be here!"

"Lily? Are you searching for something?" again the voice

"Where the hell is it?"

"Is it your note book? You gave it to Sirius, remember?"

This time I looked up and deep inside Bessie's eyes.

I was unexpectedly surrounded by darkness and understood: 'Black!'

I've been thinking about this story and got two conclusions: I could keep going like I am, doing each year in detail, or I could just put the more important things from each year and jump until fifth year, which will be much more exciting. Instead of doing third and fourth year in detail, I would put the most important things, like four chapters for this two years or something. Anyway, tell me how you'd like it.

Thanks for reading!

Hannah