Chapter 11 - The Real Thing
Anders had been wildly enthusiastic when they returned with the Wand of Concentration and eager to examine it. Now he was proudly presenting it to Fiona, as if he himself had crafted the delicate silver rod and inserted the huge, pulsating crystal into its top.
"Look at this, Fiona. I checked and double-checked in all the texts, and I'm sure it's the real thing. Now all we need is the lyrium, and Varric told me the expedition to the Deep Roads is almost ready to go. As soon as we're back, we'll be ready to set up a portal."
Merrill was beaming with happiness. "I bet no one has ever successfully done this before. Portals into the Fade, yes, people do that all the time, but to a different plane? That's special."
Fiona smiled at their enthusiasm, but then turned her head to the side, trying to hide her expression.
"What's the matter?" Anders' voice was gentle as he put a hand on her sleeve. "Aren't you happy we did it? You should be proud of yourself."
She took a deep breath, and when she exhaled, it was almost a sob. "I know, Anders. It's just-"
He nodded, a crooked smile on his face. "Part of you doesn't want us to succeed."
Fiona nodded reluctantly. "I guess you're right. What about you?"
Anders sighed and resumed his examination of the wand. "Me neither, I guess."
Merrill looked from one to the other, her eyes round with astonishment, but then understanding dawned on her features. She nodded, but didn't say a word. They finished their work in silence.
Fiona hadn't mentioned their kiss at all for the past two days. In fact, she had kept to her room most of the time, and Shepard hadn't been sure what to make of her reticence. It wasn't like her to give in so easily. He missed their evenings together, though, so when she asked him to come up to her room to show him a new map of Thedas, he did so with a spring in his step. She was just as sweet and funny as usual, and for over an hour they went over the map together, talking and laughing, as if nothing had happened.
Then she looked up from the desk, and their eyes met.
"Shepard..." Her voice was almost toneless, her expression sad and pleading. He balled his fists, trying to keep his distance, but it was useless.
"Shepard. Tom. Look at me." She was standing right in front of him, so close he could feel her warmth, breathe in her scent. "I know we have no future together. But why do you want to throw away the little bit we can have?"
He was still holding out, but then she closed the last bit of distance between them. "Please, Tom. What's the worst that can happen?" Her voice broke on a tiny sob. "It hurts already."
It was too much. And she was right, nothing could be more painful than pushing her away like this when his whole being was screaming for him to touch her, kiss her, make love to her. With a groan, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, hard and deep.
"If you want me to stop, tell me now." He hardly recognized his own voice, a dark growl, strangled with passion.
She threw her head back and laughed. "But I don't. I don't."
He couldn't resist that white throat, nipping at it, bending her back further so his lips could find the white swell of her breast exposed by her low-cut shirt.
"Fiona. Tell me you want me." He was trembling uncontrollably now.
"I want you, Tom. Now." Her voice was feverish. She led him over to her bed, her eyes never leaving his.
Her hands were all over his body, pushing off his shirt, then cupping him through the leather pants he wore. He was straining against the unyielding material, almost painfully, and his hands were struggling with the unfamiliar lacing. What I wouldn't give for a pair of regulation Alliance pants now!
"Let me." Laughing breathlessly, she reached for the knots and with a few swift moves freed his erection, drawing a sigh of relief from him. He looked down at her, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw her take hold of his cock, kissing him, damn it, an expression of pure bliss on her face as she rubbed her cheek against the velvety skin.
"Fiona." He pulled her up into a kiss, tugging impatiently at her clothes. He needed her naked, skin against skin, all of her. She helped him with the lacings, just as eager to feel him, both of them shaking with desire now. When his hand slid up her thigh, parting her legs, she arched up into his touch, practically begging him to touch her core, but he held back, lavishing some more attention on her breasts first. They were so beautiful, so perfect, white and perky, with coral-red nipples, and when he took one of them between his lips and suckled gently, she cried out sharply.
He could have gone on forever, entranced by her response, but she was impatient, grabbing his hand and guiding it between her legs, to the heat waiting for him there. He almost lost control at the feel of her, so silky soft, so warm, so wet for him, only for him.
"Tom, please!" Her voice was urgent now, and he moved between her legs, unable to resist her pleas any longer. She cried out again when he thrust inside her, harder than he'd meant to, still out of practice, but it didn't matter, because she met him eagerly, and it felt so sweet, so right, so incredibly perfect. Her hands were on the small of his back, trying to push him even deeper, as if he wasn't already filling her to the brim, his body flush against hers, not a hair's breadth between them.
He had to pull back a little in order to move, slow, careful thrusts at first, until he had found the perfect angle, the one that made her gasp at each move. She felt so good around him, and their rhythm was exactly right. Soon they were picking up speed, until he had to stop, struggling to hold back, because it was too good, too intense, and it had been far too long. Fiona clung to him, moaning softly, and he knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer.
Another thrust, and his biotics flared up. Fiona cried out in surprise at the blue glow racing all over his skin. He heard her laugh, a wild, reckless laugh, and then he felt the answering crackle of her magic, like an electric current through both their bodies, a flash of light, of pleasure, of sheer, ecstatic joy. Shepard was only dimly aware of the noises they both made, of her nails scratching deeply down his back, her body melting into his, but as he reached his peak he knew she was there with him, just as overwhelmed as he was.
When they finally recovered, he shifted only as far as he had to in order to free her from his weight, still holding her close, his face buried in her hair.
"Oh Maker!" Fiona's voice was faint. "I'm tingling."
Taking his hand, she placed it on her belly, just below her navel. "Feel."
"Fiona." He swallowed hard, unable to suppress the rush of feelings at the sight of her happy, sated expression. "I-"
"Shhhh." She rolled over on her stomach, trapping his hand under her and put a gentle finger to his lips. "It's all good. I love you, Tom."
His throat was too tight to speak, but he put it all into his kiss, hoping she would understand.
"Where have you been?" James tried to keep his voice casual as Isabela walked into his room with a cheery smile. He hadn't seen her since she had left them on Hawke's doorstep that night, and he had missed her more than he would have thought.
"Oh, here and there." Isabela smiled vaguely. "I went back to Fenris' place and spent the night there, and most of the next day, and then I was down at the docks to catch up with some old friends. After a while I got bored, though, and realized I've been missing your impressive... physique." She walked up to him and slung her arms around his broad neck, but James raised an eyebrow at her.
"So you slept with Fenris?"
"That a problem?" Her head tilted back in a curious angle, as if she expected him to challenge her and was getting ready for a fight.
He briefly considered, but then shook his head. "No, mamacita. Unless you've come back with a nasty surprise."
She pouted. "Unlikely. But don't worry. Anders can deal with anything of that kind."
James nodded. "Anything else is your own business. I don't own you."
"That's right. You don't." Despite her harsh words, her face softened and he felt her relax. She got up on tiptoes and kissed him. "Thanks for not making a scene."
He shrugged. "Why should I? You never made me any promises."
To his own surprise, he realized he was telling the truth. He wasn't mad at her. It was impossible to blame Isabela for being what she was. Especially with the way her hand was wandering up his thigh, going straight for her goal as usual.
"So, have you recovered from your hangover then, big boy?" Her voice was a deep, rich purr. "Because I have big plans for today."
Ashley was furious. Mostly she was angry at herself, for hurting Sebastian, for not putting a stop to their developing feelings earlier. But she was also frustrated with the slow progress of their attempts to go back. Why does it all take so long? We can't afford this delay. As usual, her anger took the form of a passionate attack on Shepard.
She had waited for him to appear on the landing outside Fiona's room, and as soon as he was there, she almost pounced on him. "Shepard, we need to talk. Vega and Cortez, they seem to think we're on some sort of extended shore leave. And you get more involved in Hawke's life with every day that passes. Even if Anders is telling the truth, even if he can get us back without losing time, what is going to happen once we go back?"
He opened his mouth to answer, but she wasn't finished and she needed him to listen. "Back home, people are dying, and you take a nice holiday from your responsibilities. And Hawke... What do you think you're doing, Shepard? Stop playing around with her or you'll only end up hurting her."
Shepard raised his head. "Damn it, Ash, do you think I don't know that? Do you think I planned any of this? I-"
He broke off and closed his eyes, but not before she had seen the raw pain in them. Understanding dawned on her. "You... Oh Shepard, I'm sorry." She put a hand on his sleeve. "It's the real thing, isn't it? You and her?"
He refused to look at her, but his hands clenched into fists. Ashley turned away with a sigh. "The universe has a wicked sense of humour."
Huge hugs to zevgirl who is not only the best beta I could wish for, but also the most marvellous friend. Thank you so much!