Circe's Proposition

"Circe has the Sword of Domiclese?" asked Dipper.

"Yep. She showed it off to me," said McGucket. "It was a memento from the Great Robot Wars. She got it from the same brother who gave her a piece of the Golden Fleece."

"I guess we have to go back for it," said Mabel.

"Yeah," said Dipper.

"Like, that's really dangerous," said Shaggy. "We just avoided getting caught by the skin of our teeth."

Scooby licked his teeth. "Rin of our reeth? I don't taste anything."

"It's an expression, Scoob," said Shaggy. "It means it was risky. We were only able to sneak in and out because Circe was distracted by Odysseus."

In the distance there was a shriek of anger, a woman yelling in rage.

"Like, I guess she's not distracted anymore," said Shaggy.

"She probably figgered it out when she saw all her captives were gone," said McGucket.

A woman in flowing robes came running up to the ship, with shoulder-length black hair and a voluptuous figure. Oddyseus was close behind.

"You have robbed me!" the woman shouted. "You stole my slave. You also released all the other men from their pig forms without my permission."

"Circe, you promised to release them anyway," said Odysseus.

Circe just scowled at him.

"This man is a close relative of ours," said Dipper, indicating McGucket in Ford's body. "We're taking him back home."

"You are kin to this man, Domiclese?" asked Odysseus. "I do see a family resemblance."

"He's our great uncle," said Mabel.

"Well, sort of..." said McGucket.

"Domiclese?" said Circe. "You are the famous Domiclese, hero of the war against Olympus? You do not look like the paintings I have seen."

"My sister and I were sent to the future as a reward, to grow up together again," said Dipper. "So we have new forms. This man is of the family that adopted us."

"I see," said Circe. "It is still no excuse to sneak into my house and steal him from me. What if I just take him back?"

McGucket nervously hid behind the twins, Shaggy, and Scooby.

"I think not," said Oddyseus. "Domiclese is my comrade. He seems to have rescued all of my men from pig form, and they will not be pleased with you for the foul trick you played on them. Shall I call them from the ship? No matter what your powers are, you cannot fight us all before we make an end of you."

"No, we have a truce," said Circe quickly. "They may leave with the man they came to rescue."

"Actually," said Dipper. "We came for one other thing that we believe you may have. Have you seen my famous sword, the Sword of Domiclese?"

"I will not give it to you," said Circe. "It is well-hidden so that you could never find it, if you tried to kill me for it."

"Could we give you something for it?" asked Dipper. "Like... this magic light from the future?"

He took out from his pocket a flashlight, which was supposedly waterproof. It didn't turn on when he tried to demonstrate it.

"I will not be bribed with a cheap toy," said Circe. "What I want is... your body. A night with the famous Domiclese will be compensation enough."

"What?" said Mabel.

"No!" said Dipper, turning red. "I-I'm just turning thirteen in a few weeks."

"You have been older than that, Domiclese," said Circe. "You were at least 21 at the end of the war. That artificial new body of yours can be aged up if you focus on it."

"I... I never..." said Dipper. "I have no experience."

"I know that King Domiclese had a royal harem with at least six wives," said Circe. "They say your favorite was a red-haired princess from an island to the north. I can help you recover those memories. You could even learn to use your eyes of burning light again."

"Eyes of light? Like the ones that melted Apollo in the story in our book?" asked Dipper.

"Remember, broseph? You used laser vision against Bill in the dreamscape," said Mabel.

"But that was just a dream. I didn't know I really could..." said Dipper.

"It proves that your memories are very close to the surface," said Circe. "You could recover them, giving you the experience and maturity to win any woman you want in the future."

Dipper stared into space, blushing as he thought of Wendy.

"I think you should do it, Domiclese," said Odysseus. "She's very good, by the way. Just make sure to make her promise not to harm you, as you warned me before."

Dipper got out a pencil and paper and started to make a list. "No swapping me out of my body, no enchanting me to fall in love with her..."

Mabel said, "Dipper, you're seriously doing this? It's not right."

"I have to, to get the sword," said Dipper.

"You know what they call it when you have sex with someone, not out of love but in order to get something?" said Mabel.

"But your brother is a man, so it's all right," said Odysseus.

"That's a double standard," said Mabel. "Dipper, don't listen to him. Besides, you can't just grow up all of a sudden and leave me behind."

"You could probably age up, too," said Dipper.

"I don't want to," said Mabel, with tears in her eyes. "I want to enjoy the childhood I still have left."

Shaggy said, "Dudes, remember you're a team. Let's not fight and ruin everything."

"Reah, don't fight," said Scooby-Doo. "We have a ronster to stop."

"You have a point," said Dipper. "Circe, honestly: if I got the sword your way, would it hurt our chances of using it to defeat the Evil Entity in our time?"

"What entity do you speak of?" asked Circe.

"It's a rebel Annunaki that's out to destroy the universe," said McGucket, who had picked up Greek. "From our research Ford and I found out it's associated with teams of five mystery solvers. It brings them together and then tries to corrupt them. Because a pure group can destroy it, but a corrupt group can free it."

"I have heard legends of this being. Domiclese, are you a member of a team like that?" asked Circe.

"Yes," said Dipper. "My sister is part of it, and so are our friends. We investigate mysteries in a place called Gravity Falls."

"Then... it could be a problem," said Circe. "I want you to be able to succeed in your mission. No-one wants the Evil Entity to win. He's on no side but his own. So, much as I would enjoy being with you, I will give you the sword freely."

She waved her arms and spoke a mystical phrase, and the sword appeared in her hands. She handed it to Dipper.

"Thank you," said Dipper.

"I will make it up to you," said Odysseus. "I will remain on this island with you for one month."

"One year," said Circe. "I would have had a child by Domiclese, but I will settle for two by the hero Odysseus."

Mabel whispered to Dipper, who looked shocked, "I think you dodged a bullet there, bro-bro."

"That will delay my friends too long in their mission," said Odysseus.

"No, now that we have what we came for, we can use magic to return to our own time," said Dipper.

"Very well, I accept your offer," said Odysseus, "As long my men and I can feast and drink wine with no fear of transformations."

"It is a deal," said Circe with a smile.

"Thank you, Circe and Odysseus. Gather close, everyone," said Dipper.

Dipper, Mabel, McGucket, Shaggy, and Scooby-Doo all bunched together as Dipper activated the device from the back of the painting to return them to their own time.