Okay starting to move out of the angst - this one is a little bit happier (tiny little bit) but have no fear happy chapter is underway! Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback I have had for this story - every single one has left me with a husge smile on my face and a desire to get the next chapter up a soon as possible.

To say the debrief had been torturous would be an understatement. Having to relive Jonah and Thera's lives while sitting across from Sam was not something Jack O'Neill ever wanted to do again. He had already informed General Hammond that he wanted an indefinite amount of leave, so as soon as he was able to escape he was headed to his cabin. His place of solace, where he could hide from the world and his feelings and contemplate the future in private.

He had been at the cabin less than a day before he realised that being there may not have been one of his smarter ideas. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her. He saw her, P-90 in hand, fighting alongside him, he saw her holding Cassie, he saw her riding her motorcycle into the car park at O'Malley's, he saw her as they made love, he saw her laughing and he saw her crying. Not matter how exhausted he made himself during the day the minute he lay down she invaded his every sense.

It took a week of sleepless nights before he admitted to himself that he loved her, his feelings and Jonah's feelings were all mixed up together but in the end it really didn't matter because what Jonah felt for Thera was what Jack felt for Sam. What he didn't know was whether Sam and Thera's feelings were mixed up in the same way.

As he sat on the dock fishing on his twelfth day at the cabin a few things became very clear. Over his cold, dead body was his baby being put up for adoption. He had come to accept that Jonah was a part of him and there was no way either of them would allow the adoption to proceed, even if it meant retiring. And once the thought of retiring entered his head it was one he just couldn't seem to let go of. Yes he would miss going through the gate, but the last year had proven that the survival of the human race didn't depend on him. Retiring meant he could raise his child and be there for all the things he missed with Charlie, it was a second chance he wasn't prepared to give up. And who knew, retiring just might mean that he and the mother of his child could explore their relationship as Jack and Sam.

Less than three hours later he was on a plane back to Colorado Springs – a letter informing General Hammond of his request for retirement in his pocket.

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Sam Carter watched as Col. O'Neill left the briefing room as fast as he could. She knew she couldn't blame him, it had been a horrendous three hours reliving their time as Jonah and Thera and having to remember how happy they had been. Logically she knew she had asked him for space but part of her resented the fact that he didn't even take the time to speak to her.

She knew instinctively he would be heading for his cabin. It was the place he escaped to. For her it was her lab, so that was where she headed. After all she had nearly a year of work to catch up on.

Daniel realised almost immediately what she was doing, it was exactly what he had done after he lost Sha're – Sam was throwing herself into her work so she could think about anything other than Jack. Daniel also knew from experience that it wasn't going to work.

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The day after the debriefing Janet asked her to come to the infirmary.

"I got a message you wanted to see me." Sam said tiredly.

"Hi Sam. Yeah I just wanted to do another ultrasound."

Since deciding to put the baby up for adoption, Sam had done everything she could to mentally distance herself from the pregnancy but she knew Janet wasn't going to take no for an answer so she resigned herself to having the ultrasound.

As she lay on the bed in the infirmary she looked away from the monitor but she couldn't help remembering the few short weeks ago when Jonah and Thera had seen their baby like this for the first time and how happy she had felt.

Janet watched Sam's reaction and her heart went out to the woman. She knew Sam intended to put the baby up for adoption and she even understood her reasons but a part of Janet kept hoping Sam would change her mind. Sam had lost so much in the last few weeks she didn't know if she would survive giving her baby away too.

"Everything looks good Sam, I may have been a bit off with the original dates so I would say things could happen any day now."

"Good. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned." Sam had tried to sound confident and self-assured but the tiny crack in her voice told Janet she was far more emotional about the situation than she would ever let on.

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"Hey Sam." Daniel poked his head in the door of her lab.

"Daniel." Sam looked at her friend. He had been her rock since that awful debriefing. He had stopped by at least three times a day to make sure she ate and make sure she didn't work all night. She hadn't been home since Jack, she mentally shook herself, she had to start thinking of him as Col. O'Neill again, since Col. O'Neill had visited her. The bland single quarters she had on base seemed to suit her mood much better than her house at the moment.

"Time for lunch." He told her. "And don't try and tell me you aren't hungry, you have said it every day for the last twelve days and I didn't listen then and I'm not listening now. So pack up whatever you are doing otherwise I will get Janet down here.

Sam smiled. "You are just mean enough to do it too, aren't you." She folded the papers she had been filling out and slipped them into the pocket of her maternity pants, god she would be happy when she could wear regular clothes again. As she stood she felt a pull in her back and winced as she tried to massage away the pain.

"You okay?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah fine, probably just been sitting too long," she dismissed.

As they left her lab, Daniel decided he needed to breach the taboo topic of Jack. "So, I had a call from Jack this morning." He didn't even have to look at her to know Sam had tensed up the minute he mentioned Jack's name. "He ah, he's on his way back."

It was too soon! Those words kept playing over in her mind like a broken record. She wasn't ready to see him yet. Part of her hoped he wouldn't come back until after the baby was born and that way she could be back to the Major Carter he remembered and they could try and salvage their professional relationship.

After lunch Sam excused herself from Daniel's company and went to see Janet. As she entered the doctor's office she removed the adoption papers she had been working on earlier and handed them over. Janet glanced at them.

"I want you to file them as soon as possible." Sam told her.

"Are you sure Sam? You don't want to speak to Col. O'Neill about this before I send them off?"

"We have spoken about it and he agrees with me that it would be for the best." Janet nodded sadly, she had so hoped it would turn out differently for them. "I also want a c-section as soon as you can."

Janet looked up startled, she hadn't been expecting that. "There is no medical reason you can't give birth Sam," she said quietly.

Sam looked at her friend desperately willing her tears not to fall. "I need it to be over Janet, I need to be able to move on." Janet nodded understanding why her friend felt she couldn't move on while she was pregnant with a child she had no intention of keeping.

"I'll do another ultrasound tomorrow and we can schedule something after that okay?" Sam nodded.

"Thanks." As she left the office Janet looked down at the papers in front of her, knowing full well it went against her patients wishes she slipped them into her desk drawer and prayed she wouldn't ever have to remove them.

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After leaving Janet's office Sam felt more emotionally drained than she had since regaining her memories, even the thought of returning to her lab held no real appeal. The twinge she had felt in her back seemed to be getting worse and what she really wanted was a bubble bath. It was time to go home she decided.

The thought of driving herself seemed like a monumental task. She knew Daniel would happily drive her but she also knew he would insist on staying and would end u hovering over her. Teal'c was a much better choice so she headed to his quarters.

"Hi Teal'c, I'm not interrupting am I?"

"Not at all MajorCarter. Are you well?"

"Aside from a bit of a backache I'm good. I was just wondering if you would mind driving me home. You can keep my car and I'll just get a cab in tomorrow."

"It would be my pleasure MajorCarter." The stoic Jaffa said, knowing full well that when he told O'Neill of her plans he would be on her doorstep tomorrow morning.

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The backache persisted through her bath and if anything got worse during the night. She had been so uncomfortable for the last few days that she had had very little sleep, although even she had to admit being at home in her nice large bed was better than the base quarters.

When she had yet to fall asleep at 2am she decided to do something productive and went into the kitchen. Before she even realised what she was doing everything had been emptied from the pantry and she was washing down shelves. Once she finished with the pantry she began on the linen cupboard. At 5am she was exhausted and in a great deal of pain. She hadn't realised while she was cleaning that the pain in her back had moved around her front and was gripping her in a tight band of pain around her body.

The knock on the door had never been so welcome. As she opened it she was shocked to see Col. O'Neill. "Can you take me to the infirmary?" She bent almost double in pain. "Now!"