A.N: Hi all,

I know you all lost hope – I have no excuse. I sure hope you will enjoy this chapter – there is only 2 or 3 left.

Steffy2106

Chapter 11:

I winced as the maid pulled at the back laces of my bodice much harder as she was ought to. I looked at her in the mirror but she was not looking at me. She was a red just like me and I knew she probably thought I was a traitor – Like most people in this room probably thought too.

I let my eyes wonder and met Ren's eyes in the mirror – his hard cold stare. I sighted looking at the dress again, it was the last time I was trying my wedding dress – Tomorrow I would be married and then… I was not sure.

"So what's the plan?" I asked in Ren's direction knowing it would probably get me the same answer It usually got me.

Ren glanced at the maid and kept his mouth shut. Part of me was glad I was not the only reason of his distrust.

"This is fine." I took a step forward, getting out of reach from the maid. "You can go now." I added haughtily. She hated me already; I should give her reasons to hate me even more. Make her spread vicious rumours about how I turned on my own people, rumours that I knew only too well would get back to King Maven of Norta and comfort him in my switch of allegiance.

"But the dress –" She let out dumbfounded.

"I can handle the dress thank you."

She simply nodded but I didn't miss the flush of anger marring her cheeks.

"She is going to fuel your detractors." Ren stated evenly as soon as the maid closed the door behind her.

"Can you blame her? I have been perfectly horrible."

Ren looked at me before shrugging dismissively.

"So- what's the plan?" I insisted.

"Just concentrate on getting married and leave the rest to us."

My hands balled into fists as I felt the current of anger filling me. "How can you not trust me?" I asked, my voice wavering with anger. "After everything I gave you, after everything I did!"

"Kyan and King Tiberius trust you." I didn't miss the underlying suggestion in his voice.

"But you don't."

"I see you with him, you might be good at pretending but this is not all pretend." He shook his head. "You might even believe it yourself but when the time comes you won't be able to do what needs to be done." He claimed keeping his eyes on me, showing he meant every word. "But don't worry you're doing everything you are supposed to do, leave the rest to us. We just need the attention, the bride."

I pursed my lips knowing that lashing at him wouldn't bring anything good. "Are you going to kill him?" I asked feigning detachment but part of me couldn't help but worry for Maven. After everything he did, everyone he hurt - I didn't want him gone. What did it say about me?

Ren looked at me silently. I hated how unreadable his face was – with anyone else I could have figured if I was right but he was just a wall.

I forced a smile. "Are you going to make me a widow?" I teased, hoping he would take this as detachment.

He rolled his eyes. "You're not going to be a widow Mare – That much I can promise."

I sighed in rendition, I couldn't wait for all to be over and not seeing him again. I turned around. "Could you untie my dress before leaving? At least make yourself a little useful."

"I'm – I was not planning to leave." He replied swiftly untying my dress.

"That was not a request Ren." I turned around holding the bodice to my chest. "You have no faith in me and I rather spend my time alone than boring your judging eyes. Go do whatever you are supposed to do but stay away from me."

He was taken aback, what else could he expect after the ever-growing suspicion he had toward me? I already felt confused and tortured by the unwilling feelings which were growing toward Maven – I didn't need his negativity in my life.

I had just put my dress away carefully when a maid came in with a meal for two.

"I'm sorry because of the wedding tomorrow I will be having dinner alone tonight."

The maid shook her head, setting the table on the balcony. "The king expressly requested for his dinner to be served in his quarters tonight."

I didn't expect Maven to join me tonight but decided against pressing the maid for more information, I would know soon enough. I hated the insidious elation I felt at the idea of seeing Maven tonight. I haven't seen him in over two days as he had to join the troops to let them know the potential of a coming peace.

I have been relieved this morning when the guard informed me of Maven return but I was not supposed to see him before the wedding as was dictated by the silver tradition.

I was sitting at the table on the balcony, nursing a glass of Norta's finest red wine when Maven joined me.

"Isn't it bad luck to see the bride the night before the wedding?" I asked but couldn't hide the genuine and hateful joy I felt seeing him sitting across from me.

Maven smirked, removing his crown. "We already breached pretty much every single marriage tradition."

Except one I thought blushing at the idea of sharing Maven's bed for more than just sleeping which didn't seem as disgusting as it once was.

"Well I said almost." He added as if he could read my mind, his eyes were darker with lust. He sighed with content leaning back on his chair. "What can I say – I guess I just missed you too much to bother about tradition."

"I missed you too." I admitted and I didn't have to fake it anymore.

His smile broadened. "I am pleased to know that."

I detailed him as he ate. He seemed younger, happier, somehow lighter.

"Why are you staring so intently Mare?" He asked not looking up from his plate.

I blushed. "Did you really want to be King Maven?" I gasped resting my hand on my mouth. I had wondered this so many time but I never would have dared asked.

I saw anger flash in his eyes as he rested his fork slowly on his plate. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I –" I saw a flash of the Maven I hated and yet I decided that honesty would be the best option, at least as much honesty as I could give him. "I have seen you as King Maven, ruling over Norta and yet," I let out a small humourless laugh. "I know what I am about to say is going to sound extremely smug but you never looked very happy, not as happy as you are when you are with me." I couldn't help the blush of embarrassment to colour my cheeks.

"Isn't it a good thing?" He asked a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Shouldn't every future husband be happy to see his bride?"

"Of course you should but you always said the crown was more important than anything…"

"I needed to be seen." He admitted calmly looking at the garden below us. "I was in the shadows from the day I was born, the second-class son. Nothing I did was good enough, I wasn't enough for my father to acknowledge me more than necessary – I wasn't Cal." His hand tightened around the spoon he was holding – making me regret to have brought the subject. He took a deep breath looking up at the starry night. "My mother made me understand from a very young age that only the crown could make it right, only the throne could expunge how we've been wronged and then, and only then, will I be seen as the equal to Tiberias Calore VII." He took a deep breath and met my eyes again. I was surprised to see no anger in his eyes but pain and above all weariness.

I looked down at my plate, pretending to eat and trying to hide all the things that were going through my brain. I knew Elara had something to do into Maven's actions, she was power angry and she wanted a puppet on the throne allowing her to govern but I have never thought she had been poisoning his head since he was a small child. I have witnessed first-hand what kind of damages she could do in just a few weeks, how badly did she hurt him?

I looked up but remained silent. It was the first time he opened like that.

"You seem surprised." He let go of his spoon and reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"I just- You've never shared that much before." I observed.

"No I didn't, with anyone." He admitted "but we are to be married tomorrow, I think it is the time for me to start trusting you don't you think?"

This affirmation had the effect of a knife straight through my heart. I felt like a monster now. I was using and abusing him like his mother had done before me and I knew that this ultimate betrayal would break him completely, there would be no turning back.

"Elara was not the only person who loved you. Cal did, even if he had a strange way to show it." I saw him pale at the mention of his brother name, especially coming from me. "And I love you, I truly do – much more than I thought I would, much more than I should." I rushed hoping to calm him.

He looked at me straight in the eyes, unmoving and I knew that he was trying to find any trace of deception but I didn't fear anything, not that I became a master of deception but because my words were the truth. "I thought I didn't need all that anymore, when you became my betrothed, when I thought you saw me and not him, when I thought you wanted me and not him. I thought it would have been enough." And I could see he was admitted this quite reluctantly.

"What made you change your mind?" I couldn't keep the slight despair in my voice. What would have happened if Maven had decided that he didn't want the throne anymore? Where would we be now?

"My- mother happened." And for the first time there was some anger toward her. Was she gone long enough for his mind to start being is own again?

I felt the most destructive feeling…hope. Hope that he could be saved, hope that he could be himself again. Hope that I wouldn't have to break him beyond repair.

"She reminded me that nothing was more permanent than power, that if you really cared what I would do wouldn't really matter and yet when I came and asked you to be my red queen, you took a step back and chose my brother yet again"

"And yet I rejected you only when you came into the light, when you got the power not before – never before. I rejected the abject and heartless king you became. Not the soft, loving tender prince you once were."

"Mare, please I saw you with Cal – you were seeing him behind my back." He sighed wearily. "It somehow feels good to let this out – finally."

"But you didn't see me tell him it was over, you didn't see me chose your cause over his. You didn't see me betray him." Just as I am betraying you now.

"Why do you want me now then? I am still the abject, heartless king. What changed your mind?"

I had talked too much. I was so desperate to find out if there was hope for him, if he was beyond salvation or if my guilty desire to save him could be understood and forgiven. "I see this Prince in you when you are with me, when you smile at me, when your hands slide on my skin ever so softly. I believed that the Prince I loved was just an act to let the world think you were not a threat but I realized in my time here that the King was an act, a strong almost indestructible shell you created to protect that Prince, to keep him from harm but I saw it crumble and I got my Prince back and there is little I wouldn't do to have him back permanently. You're him Maven, you've always been him and I want him back."

Maven nodded but the turmoil of emotions in his eyes stopped me from figuring out what he was thinking about this stupid, heartfelt revelation.

He stood up giving my hand a squeeze. "I better let you rest now. It is getting late and I believe my blushing bride needs her sleep."

I gave him a grateful smile but didn't move from my seat.

Maven leaned down and kissed my forehead before turning to leave.

I followed him with my eyes as he stopped on the threshold between the balcony and the room. "For all it's worth Mare, if I had to make that choice again, knowing then what I know now…I would have stayed the Prince and picked you over the crown." He confessed keeping his back at me, leaving me unable to read him. "This is, and probably always will be, the biggest regret of my existence."

I wanted to tell him that it was not too late, that we could just walk away and disappear but it was too late, I had betrayed him and too many people counted on me. I couldn't just walk away, not now – People have been dying at his hands, hundreds were tortured – Some sins could be expunged but his couldn't. "I know" I replied not able to provide him the comfort I knew he was seeking.

I remained on the balcony after Maven left, rethinking of the time Jon came into my room telling me I always was Cal downfall. I wanted to go see him now, ask him what life could have been – He said he had seen all the potential futures. What would this one have been?

I glanced at the door, knowing that going for a stroll in a different aisle of the castle when Maven reinforced the security around my room as he was sleeping away tonight would be hard to explain but I wanted to get answers. Jon hinted too many times the futures that could have been, I have been too proud then to take the bait – I was just not that person anymore.

I decided to wait for another hour until the guard change and with a bit of luck it would be enough for me to go see Jon unnoticed.

I was getting out of the bathroom, ready to go when I found Jon sitting on the sofa in the room.

"Let me guess…You saw me coming?" I asked teasingly trying to hide both my surprised and apprehension.

"For you to come will have caused a lot of unnecessary questions –" He shrugged, gesturing for me to join him on the sofa. "I have to admit that the vision of your visit took me by surprise and not a lot does anymore. You were so opposed to even have me in your eyesight. This fuelled my curiosity much more than you can imagine."

"Why don't you tell me? You know everything." I challenged taking a reluctant seat beside him,

"I am a foreseer not a mind reader." He replied with a small amused smile. "I can only see outcomes but I can't see the reasons behind them."

"You said I was always Cal downfall – Was there any chance he would have been happy?"

"Your guilt has no place here anymore lightening girl – From the moment he threw you that coin outside this bar he was driven by conflicting emotions, emotions that were only strong enough to hurt you both. His decision for the throne were clouded by you and the decisions concerning you were clouded by his throne. He wanted to be king, he always wanted to be king and if the day came to choose between you and his throne – I am not sure the outcome would have pleased you."

I looked away. I knew the love of ruling of both brothers has always been much stronger than any feeling they boasted for me but it still hurt to know that.

"If-" I bit my lip not sure how I should approach the subject of Maven. Asking the question would reveal a lot, maybe too much.

"If?" He encouraged.

I sighed. "Maven said he thought about walking away before everything happen. How – what would our life be?"

Jon gave me a small smile. "You shouldn't feel guilty for the feelings you have." He closed his eyes and remained silent for a minute. "Maven would have stood up to his mother by revealing to his father all of her plans to take over. For the first time the king would have been proud and in exchange he would have casted away Elara. Maven would have revealed to you his knowledge about your interest in his brother but he would have opened his heart to you – asked you to be his genuine betrothed and to stop your involvement with the scarlet guard – He would have promised to help you with the red, that your family was his family and you would have agreed." Jon opened his eyes giving me a sad smile. "Your feelings for Cal would have remained but you would have understood with time that he was not what you needed and you would have decided to remain true to Maven as your feelings for him grew. Maven would have gain a seat at the council as his father gratefulness took him out of the shadow. He would have requested from the king to reveal your true nature to the world, that this was a union of allegiance and a desire of peace. One whole nation red and silver against the Lakelanders. Cal would have supported the decision and the people would have taken it much better than anyone would have anticipated, deepening the trust of the King in Maven."

I took a shaky breath, I could picture it in my head. Was it what would happen now with our union?

Jon frowned and I knew not everything in his vision was puppies and rainbows. "After your wedding to Maven, Cal would have tried to make you change your mind, to be his in secret – his love for you would have turned into an obsession. He would have started to resent all the things he couldn't have in the name of Norta. He would have ended up marrying Evangeline Samos and be stuck in a loveless miserable marriage seeing you and Maven flourish with love and attentions that were not pre-planned or acted. This love you shared would have been true and it would have made him even more bitter." Jon gave me a small smile. "To her defence, Evangeline Samos would have been just as miserable, seeing the woman she loved from afar – forced to give herself to a man she didn't love all in the name of power."

"Woman?!" I gasped.

Jon smile widened. "Yes, I must give it to her. She is good at pretending."

I grimaced remembering the noises she had made in Maven's room. "Very good indeed." I whispered wishing these memories away. "What would have happened then?" I pressed seeing that Jon was not so keen on continuing.

He sighed in rendition. "Once you announced to them you were with child – a miracle really, something snapped in Prince Cal. He decided to go fight against the Lakelanders with his army and he would have perished on the battlefield. Prince Maven would have become the future king and he would have lost you after the birth of your child, poisoned by no one else then the bitter widow Evangeline Samos."

I raised my hand to stop him, I didn't need him to tell me the despair Maven fell into – I could picture it. "Tell me how I can save him? Save them both." I begged.

"It all depends on your definition of saving my dear child." Jon reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Tell me what will happen." I urged, gripping his hand tighter.

He shook his head sadly. "I can't. I've seen the outcome if you were to know and it is much worse than any other option. But there will be no easy choice, every single choice presented to you will cause you pain and for this I am sorry."

I opened my mouth but closed it again. His dark words making any other question I wanted to ask more than trivial.

Jon stood up. "It is best for me to leave now before I give too much away but know that I am on your side, I have always been on your side."

I nodded looking down at my hands – At least Jon eased the guilt I felt toward Cal knowing he would have fallen whatever my decision would have been.

Jon walked away but his step faltered and I knew he saw something. He turned around slowly, his face full of indecision. "Remember that Maven genuinely loves you – At least as much as Maven is able to love. And he truly thinks that, with you by his side, some kind of peace and appeasement is possible."

"Thank you…for this." I admitted reluctantly. "But you will see I will save them both." I raise my head straighter. "I will do it."

Jon smiled. "If anybody can do it, you can. Be safe lightening girl and shine as bright as you can."