Shiro slammed his fists against his lion. "Damn it!"

Keith reached him over comms. "Shiro, what's going on?"

"I lost Pidge. I messed up."

"You… lost Pidge…?"

"She's gone. She's quitting Voltron because of me."

"And she took the green lion with her?" Keith sounded awestruck. "Why would you let her take the green lion?! We can't form Voltron without it."

"Thanks Keith. I'm well aware of that. But we just… need to find her."

"Yeah. If the Galra get their hands on that lion, we're screwed!"

"Oh? Really Keith? Like how they got you?"

He was met with stunned silence. Then Allura spoke. "Shiro, we need to get the green lion back."

"Screw Voltron! We need to get Pidge back!"

"I know," Allura said. "Where is she?"

"I don't know!" He yelled. "I don't know where she went and it's my fault she left."

"Shiro, we need to get her back. I ran the tests on the blood she gave me…"

"And I messed up! Got it." Shiro flew back to the ship and started running scans. "Come on Katie… I'm sorry…"

"Shiro, listen to me!" Allura snapped, storming up to him. "We need to get Pidge back here as soon as possible. There's something unusual in her blood!"

"I'm trying! But Pidge is not easy to track!"

"Shiro, can I help?" Keith asked over comms. He was still in his bed in the hospital wing.

"I don't know. She's mad Keith. About… about the training we did together…"

"She wouldn't run off because of that," Keith said, mortified. "Would she?"

"I messed up. If anyone should leave Voltron it's me. But we've got to focus on getting Pidge back first."

"Shiro, it was talk like that that set Pidge off in the first place," Allura chided. "No one is leaving Voltron!"

"Please! We need to get Katie back."

"We're working on it!" Allura snapped.

"Allura, you don't understand!" Shiro yelled.

"I understand you're one by one trying to push all of us away, but it's time to stop taking all the blame and let us help first!"

"I'm not trying to push anyone away!" Shiro snarled. "It's just happening."

"LET US HELP!" Allura snapped.

"God damn it! Katie is out there by herself somewhere with poison in her system or something! I need to help her!"

"And we're going to help her. But you need to calm down and let us help."

Shiro tossed a piece of equipment off the table where it smashed on the floor. "Shut up!"

Allura went back to working on finding Pidge, muttering under her breath about 'humans' and 'no manners whatsoever'.

Lance approached Shiro slowly. "Shiro..."

Shiro looked at him. "I… am apparently supposed to ask how training went." He frowned. Lance looked beyond confused. He looked from the smashed equipment on the floor to Shiro and then back to the equipment.

"Umm…"

"I messed up, Lance. And Keith and Pidge have to deal with my mistakes. And while I thought I'd be okay with that, it's hard. It's hard to be a leader."

"Well, duh," Lance said. "Look, let us handle this here. You go let Keith know what's going on."

"He knows. He's been yelling at me, too." He ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. "I'll go update him. Thanks Lance."

Keith was staring at his hands when Shiro walked in. He didn't meet his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he said, still refusing to look up.

"Can we talk? Please? I need someone to talk to."

"Sure, Shiro," Keith said. "Let's talk."

"Am I… a good leader?"

"That's a stupid question, Shiro. And not one you need to ask me. You know my answer."

"Pretty sure it's no," he sighed. "I got you and Katie infected with something that brings out your real feelings about me."

Keith stared at him, awestruck. "…What?"

"That's what it feels like. Like all the fears of how I behave, and how I act… that's how you guys are treating me."

"Shiro… I was poisoned… You can't… blame me for that," Keith said.

"I'm not mad at you. I just… really hate myself for pushing Pidge away."

Keith's chest felt heavy. "You didn't, Shiro… You can't blame yourself for what happened with Pidge. But you can't blame her either. Not if she's got poison in her system too."

"I miss… simpler times." He reached for his hand. "I wish this was easier."

Keith pulled away before Shiro could take his hand. He finally looked up and his eyes seemed almost broken…

Shiro nodded, pulling away. "Okay. I guess we never really had that talk…"

"Shiro… I don't want you to blame me for what happened…"

"I'm not blaming you." He looked at him. "I'm not mad. I just… what are we, Keith?"

"You are blaming me," Keith whispered. "You…"

"No… No, please don't take this the wrong way. Keith, please."

"I'm trying, Shiro. I really am. I just…" His voice dropped. "I asked you to kill me Shiro… How could you not blame me for something like that? How could I ask that of you?"

"You were drugged, remember?"

"That doesn't matter. I did it. I said it. I expected it."

"And I didn't. Keith please don't… it was the Galra."

Keith furiously wiped tears from his eyes and sniffed. "I know," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady.

"Keith, can I just… can we… can you come to my room so I can hold you?"

"Pidge needs us, Shiro. You really want to do this right now?"

"I don't know what to do Keith. I just want… I want Pidge back so I can help her, but I don't know how to find her and I don't know what I can do to make any of this better."

"I know, Takashi… I want her to come back too. I'm worried about her."

"I'm… terrified for her. I just… I haven't been sleeping. I should… ugh. I need to meditate."

Keith finally took Shiro's hand and squeezed it. "Let Allura take care of it."

"I need to be a better leader. You said no. I'll go help Allura."

Keith pulled Shiro down for a kiss, pressing his lips firmly over Shiro's. Just as quickly, he released him. Shiro relaxed at the kiss, almost tearing up. "Thanks, Keith."

"Go get Pidge," Keith said, in the same way a hero's love interest would say, 'Go save the world, tiger'. He pushed Shiro's chest gently.

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I'll go get her." He leaned in and kissed him again. Keith pressed up into his kiss, savoring it until the moment Shiro pulled away and vanished from the room.

Shiro headed back to the front of the ship. "Alright, let's get Pidge back and help her."

"Are you going to throw anything more?" Allura asked, casting a suspicious glance over her shoulder.

"I'm just going to help. We need to help Pidge."

"I think I might have a location on the green lion," Coran announced.

"Awesome. Let's scan the area for life forms, in case she left… or isn't alone."

"Either way, we have to go pick up the green lion," Coran said.

Shiro thought for a moment. "Lance, Hunk, and I can get the lion. You guys run the scans."

"Fine," Coran said. "But be careful!"

He nodded. "Lance, Hunk, I need your help. Let's get the Green Lion back to the ship. And we need to get Pidge back. She is our top priority."

They set off, and after a few hours of flying, arrived at the coordinates Coran had sent them. Coran had detected many life forms there, so they were ready for a fight, but when they arrived, the place looked deserted… like a giant heap of space junk. Shiro landed his lion and climbed out, bracing for a fight, but none came. Then he heard Lance over comms. "Whoa! This thing looks just like Keith!"

"Uh...what thing, Lance?" Shiro asked. He looked around. "Pidge? You around?"

"Come here!" Lance shouted. "There's one for you too, Shiro! And Hunk! And…" he busted out laughing. "Oh my god, it's Coran! Weird, there's one for every one of us except Pidge…"

"Then...Pidge probably made them." Shiro flew over to Lance. "She's always been an amazing creator."

"But then... where is she? These look old... like she's been here before..."

"This… if she was here alone… maybe… where she was when we were separated by the wormhole? But what are all the life forms?"

"And where's the green lion?" Hunk asked, inspecting the garbage version of him that sat before him.

"I don't know. Let's just, look around." Shiro bit his lip. "Pidge, come on. We need you."

They searched around for a moment, then Shiro shook his head. "Maybe we should split up. We might have better luck that way. Just… keep an eye on your lions. Shields up." The others nodded and departed.

Shiro sighed, getting into his lion. Pidge… well… she was good at sending out false signals. But this was getting frustrating. He flew around the nebula for awhile, getting a bit irritated by how big it was. Then Lance called over comms again.

"I found the green lion. But Pidge isn't anywhere I can see."

"Hunk, head over to Lance. I'll keep running scans to find Pidge."

"Okay."

Shiro sat back in his lion, waiting for it to scan for lifeforms. Soon, it showed him a large cluster of life forms, nearer the center of the nebula. He got out of his lion, wanting to be stealthy and moved, heading nearer, using the fake him to hide behind.

He crept over an outcropping and peeked below. There, surrounded by fluffy little… things… sat Pidge, crosslegged, the way she always sat when she was thinking. It looked like she was talking to them. Well, that explained the life forms. He watched her for a while, trying to figure out how to approach her. She was speaking fairly animatedly, that much Shiro could tell. She'd wave her arms around, gesture, plop her chin into her palm…

He watched for a moment longer, then moved in closer. "Pidge…? Hey, we've been worried about you." Pidge did not appear to hear him so he headed closer. "Hey, Pidge?"

Pidge jumped upon hearing her name, nearly launching herself off the ground where she sat. She whirled. "Shiro?"

"Hey. We've been worried about you. Who are your friends?"

Pidge didn't answer, and instead fled, leaping from one bit of trash to another, using her jetpack when she needed to.

"Pidge!" Shiro hurried after her, starting to ping his location so the others could follow him.

"I told you to leave me alone!" Pidge snarled as she darted away.

"Pidge we want to help just stop running!"

She made a beeline for her lion, but Hunk promptly cut her off and captured her in a tight bear hug. Shiro relaxed seeing her in his arms. "Get her into your lion, Hunk! I can drag the green lion back." He started for the black lion.

Pidge struggled against Hunk as he carted her toward the yellow lion. "Didn't you hear me?" she screamed at Shiro. "I quit! You can't drag me back!"

Hunk ignored her, dragging her into his lion and making sure she couldn't get out. "You can leave after Allura treats you."

"I don't want Allura to treat me!" Pidge yelled. "I want to go back! Let me go!"

"Sorry. Gotta follow orders." Hunk started back for the castle.

"I just want to be left alone for awhile! Why can't you let me have that?"

"Because you're sick and haven't eaten. Food's important."

"I have eaten! I ate before I left! And that doesn't matter anyway, I know how to get my own food! I want you to take me back right now! Tell Shiro I jumped out of the lion or something. Just take me back to my friends!"

"We're your friends." He flew into the castle. "Come on, Pidge."

Allura grabbed her arm and gave her a shot. "I'm sorry, but you need this."

Pidge did not immediately fall unconscious the way Keith had. Instead, she struggled against Hunk, screaming bloody murder. Hunk swallowed tears but didn't let go. Shiro jumped out and grabbed Pidge, hugging her.

"I'm right here. Whether you want me to be or not. We're family Pidge. Just… let us be family."

Pidge's face slowly lost all of it's color and her screaming grew more hoarse as she wore her voice down, but she still struggled vehemently, tears pouring down her cheeks, the screams punctuated with sobs. Her eyes grew unseeing. Shiro held her. "I'll never leave you. And I'll do everything to get them back. I miss them too." He held her, heading for the hospital so they could help her relax in bed.

By the time they arrived there, Pidge had used most of her energy and was pretty much hanging limp in Shiro's grasp. They pushed into the hospital, and Keith sat up at the sight of her. Shiro laid her on one of the beds. "Get some rest. We'll be here for you."

"What happened to her?" Keith asked, looking horrified at her limp body.

"She had what you had. But flew away before we could help."

"I could hear her screaming from all the way over here!" Keith snapped. "Did I do that?"

Coran shook his head. "No, Keith, you just kind of passed out. Pidge was worried she'd killed you."

Shiro rubbed Keith's back. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I feel like maybe I could walk around. I'm also really hungry."

Hunk lit up. "Food! Let's go eat!" He grabbed Keith and started for the kitchen. Keith stumbled after him, very unsteady on his feet. He shot Shiro a look before disappearing. Shiro watched him go. He'd come get him after spending a little time with Pidge while she slept. He pulled a chair up and sat down next to her bed. She looked a little more peaceful, now that she was unconscious and a whole lot like Matt… He took her limp hand.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten your family back yet."

He examined her fingers. On her wrist, crusted with dried blood, was a long, deep gash. Blood coated her hand and was caught under and around her fingernails. He got up, heading to get things to clean them. He was swift in cleaning the blood from her fingers, though it lingered around her nails like a bad nail polish that just would not come off. The cut on her wrist was a little more difficult. Still, he did his best and then wrapped it in gauze. "I'm here for you, Katie."

She didn't respond, but the color was slowly returning to her face. He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You really are a great sister."

"Shiro?" Lance's voice behind him startled him. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm tired and worried about Katie." He sat up.

"Well… yeah, but… What about you?"

"I'm fine. I might… go get something to eat with Hunk and Keith."

Lance nodded. "I'll stay here with Pidge. She's in good hands with me." He flashed a smile.

Shiro nodded. "No crappy jokes until she's well enough to respond."

Lance chuckled a little. "None of my jokes are crappy, Shiro."

"Mhmm. Right." Shiro laughed, then headed for the kitchen.

Keith was scarfing down a bowl of food goo when Shiro walked into the kitchen

Hunk was eating...something. But wasn't paying much attention to them. Shiro went and sat next to Keith. "Do I… do I show you preferential treatment?"

Keith looked puzzled. "What?"

"Something Pidge said to me."

"Speak english, Shiro."

"Is this not english? Pidge just… thinks I always do more for you than the others."

"Well… from what Coran told me…" Keith looked down sheepishly.

"What did Coran tell you?"

"That you did a lot of stupid things when I was out…"

"Well, I did. But what were his ideas of the stupid things I did?"

"He said you refused to eat or sleep while I was in the healing pod, ran off to hide in your lion while I was trapped inside my head and threatened to leave Voltron after you punched me out."

"Yeah. I'd hoped I was infected, too…" He sighed. "I'm not. Just an idiot."

Keith smiled a little. "We knew that already."

He gently shoved him. "Still starving?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means I want to know if you'd like to go for a walk?"

Keith set his fork down. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Shiro nodded. "Alright, let me know if you get tired." He stood up, then helped Keith up.

Keith was steadier on his feet now, and only needed to lean against Shiro a little bit as they walked. Shiro let him lead the way, content to simply walk with him.

"How's Pidge?" Keith asked.

"Better, I think." He sighed. "I hope she feels better when she wakes up."

"What do we do if she doesn't?"

"Then I be the best family to her I can. And help her feel better. And we focus on finding her real family."

"What if she still wants to quit?"

"I… don't know… I hope she doesn't."

"Pidge is important to everyone on the team… we're not a team without her…"

"I know. I need her here, with Voltron. We all do."

Keith stopped walking. "Hold on," he said. "I'm a little dizzy."

Shiro held him up. "Do you want to go rest in your room?"

"No, it's okay. I just need to…"

"Need to?" He frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Shiro. I'm fine. I just…" He took a deep breath. "Let me sit down for a second." Shiro nodded, helping him over to a seat.

"Sorry," Keith managed. "I'm just… tired…"

"It's fine. You should get some rest."

"I still feel a little hazy," Keith confessed.

"I'm… sorry you had to go through this."

"Why are you sorry?" Keith asked. "This whole thing was my fault, remember?"

"Because… I don't know. I guess I didn't protect you and I feel awful you got hurt…"

"Shiro. You told me that if I hadn't run off and gotten myself kidnapped, none of this would have happened. And you were right. You can't blame yourself for my stupid move."

"Keith...that was stupid of me. I didn't know you'd been poisoned and I just… said and did a lot of dumb stuff."

"Don't apologize for my stupid decision," Keith said again. "You were right."

"I don't want right and wrong in this. My friends got hurt."

"Because I was an idiot. Not you, Shiro. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's mine. And if Pidge… if anything happens to her… that's my fault too."

"Keith… can…" Shiro shook his head and sighed. "Let me help you to your room so you can sleep."

"I want to talk about this!"

"I don't want you to sit and blame yourself, Keith."

"I'm being honest with myself, Shiro."

"Maybe we should both just… go be with Pidge for when she wakes up?"

"She wouldn't want to see me," Keith muttered.

"Let's… test that theory." He stood up.

Keith was staring at his hands once again, as if just noticing the dried blood there for the first time. "Just… let me know how it goes."

"Keith…" Shiro picked him up. "You're coming with me. And we'll all talk. Then… we can talk about us and figure that part out."

"Shiro, please," Keith begged.

"I can't let you and Pidge fight. We need to talk this through."

"It's not fighting, Shiro! It's me giving her the space I think she's going to want!"

"No more deciding for each other. Unless she wakes up and asks you to leave, you're resting in the hospital." He smiled a little. "Fight me about it later."

"Bad choice of wording, Shiro," Keith grumbled. "I don't want to go. She's not going to want to see me! Think about it! I ran off and got myself in trouble. I put her in danger coming to find me, I come home and she has to tech me out to see how to get me out of my own head… literally! I come back and want to kill everything. So she goes out of her way to make an antidote and how do I pay her back? Infecting her with the poison… a knife in her back… she doesn't want to see me."

"You… stabbed her?" He stopped walking.

"Metaphorically speaking, Shiro! I didn't actually stab a knife into her back."

"Okay… woo. Okay." He let out a breath. "Sorry. I never really know what you think when you're… well… poisoned."

Keith sighed. "Put me down, Shiro. I can't face her."

"If I have to face you, you have to face her." He kissed his cheek. "Come on."

Keith pushed away from Shiro, getting onto his feet. "I'm not doing this, Shiro. No way."

"Keith, you have to. If you and Pidge don't get along there isn't Voltron. And I don't want to see my friends fight."

"I told you, Shiro. It's not fighting. It's giving her space. If she wants to see me, she can ask for me. Until then, I'm going to keep my distance. Please don't try to stop me."

Shiro stared at him for a long time, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he caved. Keith was as stubborn as he was smart. "Fine. But don't run away this time, please?"

"I promise. I'll stay here." Keith gave him a halfhearted smile. "You can lock me in my room if you don't trust me."

"Hell no. That… that'd only be if I were in there, too."

Keith chuckled, his voice low. "That's gay, Shiro."

He snorted. "Oh yeah?"

"But seriously, Shiro. If you're afraid I'll run off, lock me up somewhere. I wouldn't blame you for not trusting me. I certainly don't."

"We have to work on the trust. I can't lock you up. That won't help at all." He sighed, "Let me help you to your room. I'll… go spend time with Katie."

Keith grabbed his hand. "Please… Shiro… I don't trust myself. Like I said, my head still feels kinda hazy. I'm afraid I might try to run off."

Shiro nodded. Pidge had others to watch her. And if Keith didn't trust himself…" I'll wait with you."

"No," Keith asserted. "You have to be there for Pidge! You know you do! Just lock me in my room and let me know how things go. But you have to go. I love you, Shiro, but you can't stay with me right now."

"I can't lock anyone from Voltron up. I can't."

"Please, Shiro. I'm begging you."

"You begged me to kill you and I couldn't do that either." He walked back towards Keith's room, then jumped on the comms. "Coran I need a favor."

"What is it, Shiro?" Keith asked, reluctantly followed Shiro back to his room.

"Pidge locked me in my room. It's why my hand is broken."

"I know."

"And I can't lock you up. I can't. I spent a year breaking out of confinement. I can't put you in it."

Coran came on the comms. "Yes, Shiro?"

"Watch Keith for me. Don't let him run off."

"Will do, Shiro. Give me a few ticks." Shiro looked at Keith, who was shaking his head. "Locking me in my room for a few minutes isn't confinement, Shiro. Not really..."

"We think differently. But I'm not locking you up."

"Just go take care of Pidge," Keith said. "I'll get Coran to lock the door."

"Sure." Shiro kissed his cheek. "See you later, Keith." He let go of him and headed back to see how Pidge was doing once Coran arrived.

"Coran, I need a favor from you," Keith said as soon as Shiro had walked away.

Coran looked at him. "What's up, Keith? How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling okay," he said. "But my head is still kinda hazy and I'm scared I might flip out and try to run away again. Shiro refused to help me. But you should be there to take care of Pidge too… Could you just lock me in my room so I don't run off? So you can go help Pidge?"

Coran stared at him. "You can lock it from the inside, you know."

"I know. But I'd be able to unlock it from the inside too. I need you to lock it so I can't get out."

"Erm… okay. But get on comms when you want out and I'll come unlock it."

Keith nodded and stepped into the room. Before he closed the door he said, "Don't let Shiro come let me out," he said. Then he shut the door and waited until he heard a click to tell him Coran had locked it. He waited a few moments, then tried the knob. It didn't turn.