Thorin and his family return home to Ered Luin at last. What will they find when they get there? Has Thorin changed in any way? Does he see things differently and is it time for a bit of a brood?

.o00o.

THORIN HAS A THINK

PT I

There were still two months left of their exile when Thorin Oakenshield and his family set out for Ered Luin and so they went at a gentle pace. It didn't take them long to reach Beorn's house on the far side of Mirkwood where they only stayed a couple of nights, but they all wondered why Thorin was huddled secretively in a corner with the giant shape-shifter during the evening.

"'Ere! What you two up to?" asked Rose curiously.

"Aha!" said Thorin, laying his finger alongside his nose, but looking rather pleased with himself they all thought. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

And the next morning, they did, indeed, find out. Thorin had been negotiating with Beorn for a pair of his ponies. There was a blue roan for Arion and a grey for Rose. "It's called a rose grey," Thorin laughed. "Beorn thought it a suitable colour for you."

The children wouldn't have cared what colour the ponies were. They were so ecstatic that they went around starry-eyed all day. In the end, Beorn waved away all offers of payment. "When you grow out of them," he growled, "I'll exchange them for larger ones. Perhaps that will give you a reason to visit me again." And the children climbed upon his lap and kissed and hugged him. Suddenly this giant of a man no longer seemed someone to be afraid of. Beorn, in the meanwhile, appeared very pleased with this show of gratitude and affection.

"Cupboard love," grunted Thorin with amusement to Tauriel.

After his experience in Mirkwood, Thorin was determined that no-one else was going to teach his children how to ride. They ambled along at a slow enough pace with plenty of picnic stops so that the children didn't get too tired or saddle-sore. They stopped regularly for riding instruction and also for practice with their new bows, yet another parting gift from Beorn. These were small and dwarven in style, accompanied by beautifully worked leather quivers which held a good stock of arrows. The children felt as though all their birthdays had come at once and they proudly carried their new weapons on their shoulders.

Now that they owned a dwarven bow each, the children suddenly did an about-face over their desirability. "The elven bows are long and difficult to carry," said Arion.

"Yeah," said Rose. "They may look good and they may shoot arrows a long way, but the dwarven bow is more accurate. It really packs a punch and I reckon that the arrows could pierce armour."

Thorin gave a quiet and satisfied smile and Tauriel grinned when she saw it.

And so they ambled along. The weather held and, as with their outward journey, they had no problems climbing over the Misty Mountains with the two little ponies putting up a very good showing. There had been a long debate about what their names should be and this had helped pass many, many miles. In the end, Arion insisted on calling his pony Blue. He was the one who had decided that they should call their dog Dog.

"Not very imaginative," said Thorin.

"But I like it," said Arion.

"Fair enough," said Thorin and so Blue it was.

Rose had a bit more difficulty and spent many a restless night tussling with a whole variety of names. In the end, she chose Little Beorn in memory of the giver.

"That's a nice thought," said Tauriel but Thorin snorted a bit.

"Well," said Rose, "since Tauriel calls her horse Black Demon when you're around and Thorin when you're not, I don't see why I can't name my pony after someone I know too."

"Fair enough," said Thorin again with a grin.

After a month, they were nearing Rivendell and Elrond's Last Homely House. The children were excited to be seeing the elf-lord again and Thorin and Tauriel were looking forward to sleeping in a bed.

Rose ran forward to meet the elf-lord. Because of the daily lessons she had had with him, she was closer to him than Arion. Thorin had no real desire to teach her reading and writing or how to talk "proper" and his other lessons made him content with his lot. "Elrond! Elrond!" cried Rose, as soon as she saw him approaching. "Come and 'ave a look at our ponies." He raised an eyebrow and she repeated: "Come and HAVE a look at our ponies."

"Good," said Elrond. "I'm glad you haven't forgotten everything while you've been away."

Elrond dutifully admired the ponies and then they all sat down for food and a chat. They talked well into the night, until the children were fast asleep on their parents' laps, and then they took them to their rooms.

"A proper bed at last!" sighed Tauriel as they sank beneath their own coverlets. They were in the lovely room where Thorin had found her after being separated for a year. It held many bittersweet memories for them both. He remembered the joy of their reunion and he remembered Arion being born there and he remembered the pain of his guilt for the way he had treated his beautiful elven wife. He drew in a breath with a shudder, thinking of how things might have been if Bilbo hadn't visited and talked some sense into him. And then he let the breath out in a long sigh, drawing Tauriel tenderly towards him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She ran her hands slowly down his plaits and looked questioningly into his eyes. "Sorry for what?" she asked with a smile. "Is there something you're keeping from me?"

"Oh," he sighed, "sorry for being a jealous dwarf, sorry for being stupid and bad-tempered, sorry for being me."

She caressed his face gently. "Yes," she said, "you are stupid: stupid for saying sorry for all the things that I love about you." And she lowered her head and brushed her lips tantalisingly across his throat. He groaned and slipped his hand through her hair, pulling her mouth against his own. With exquisite sensitivity, his tongue slid between her lips, gently exploring and touching. He was so tentative, Tauriel thought, almost as if he expected rejection, as if he expected her to remember his cruelty to her and to push him away. She seized his plaits more tightly and kissed him back passionately so that he shuddered with desire. "Tauriel..." he whispered. She knew he was asking for her love but was too uncertain of himself to take it. How strange he was, how vulnerable. It was so easy to destroy his confidence and, in this room where so many painful and joyous things had taken place, Tauriel felt that she had to tread carefully. She ran her hands across his back feeling all the muscles rippling there.

"Thorin," she said softly, "you're so beautiful. Do you know how much I need you at this moment?" And she pressed herself against him and kissed his throat again. He let out an inarticulate cry and pulled her beneath him. His love-making that night was such a curious mixture of passionate giving and desperate taking that Tauriel felt confused as to how she should react to him. And so she just held him and kissed him and murmured her love in his ear until he finally fell asleep. But Tauriel lay awake for a long time afterwards wondering what more she could do to help her husband with the confusions and doubts about himself that so easily ran through his mind.

The next morning, Thorin woke up early. Tauriel was nestled in his arms and he lay there, gazing out at the trees moving gently beyond the wide balcony window. He began to do the thing that he did worst of all: thinking. When they had stayed in this room on their outward journey, it had reminded him of all the wonderful things that had happened there during the six weeks surrounding Arion's birth: their declaration of love, the birth of his son, their wedding night, Tauriel's beauty and forgiveness. Now, after five months out in the wide world, mixing with hobbits, elves and men, he was seeing things in a different light.

He was so selfish, he thought. He had wanted Tauriel and he had taken her without any thought to the consequences. Since their exile, he had seen her in her own environment, both at Rivendell and Mirkwood, and he now realised just how much she had given up to be with him. He just couldn't offer her the beauty, the elegant company, the excitement, the poetry, the music, nor any of the other things that were hers by right. What could he, in fact, offer her – or even the children – living as they did in isolation at his forge? It must be so boring for her with no other adult except himself to converse with – and what did he talk about except making farm equipment and swords? The lively, clever conversations of the elves that he had been a party to these past few months really made him aware of his inadequacies in the exchange of thoughts, opinions and feelings. No wonder she escaped once a week to be up at the outpost with her group of fellow elves.

And, what pain and trouble he had brought her ever since he had first met her. He went through every incident, torturing himself with every word he had said to her, every dreadful deed and misunderstanding that should never have happened because he was just so stupid. Even Tauriel called him a stupid dwarf. He had allowed his passion for her to get the better of him in Lake Town and he had slept with her that one time, only to reject her cruelly after she had saved his life during the great battle, sending her away, back to Mirkwood. Perhaps he should have held his ground at that point and not given into his lusts when she had come looking for him. Her life back in Mirkwood would have been a lot better than the one he offered her at the forge. But, no, he had been selfish again without giving any thought at all to the problems he might be creating for her.

Then he had misinterpreted everything he saw, both at Thranduil's court and at the Grey Havens and this had led him to do the most appalling thing of all – he could hardly bear to think of it! He had made love to her both as a punishment and also because he had found it almost impossible to let her go. And afterwards, what cruel words he had uttered as he had marched out the door of the forge, flinging their betrothal rings into the flames as he went. He could scarcely believe what he had done, even now. He had imagined her living in Mirkwood with Thranduil, tormenting himself with thoughts of them together for nearly a year. A year! If it hadn't been for a casual conversation with his sister or a timely visit from Bilbo, he would never have known that she was, in fact, in Rivendell and pregnant with his child.

He sighed. If he had been in Tauriel's place, he would never have forgiven him but would have shown him the door. She should have done, he thought. But she HAD forgiven him and had married him and brought him back into her life. Perhaps she should have returned cruelty for cruelty and sent him away to brood on his sins alone at the forge. Instead, she had wrapped him in her love and, in doing so, had let him off the hook. He had tried not to think about this but had, instead, blanked it all out as he busied himself with building a life for his family.

Their marriage had brought much condemnation from the wider community. Why hadn't he thought that this would happen? Probably because he hadn't wanted to think about it. If he had, then surely he wouldn't have gone through with it, subjecting, as it did, his wife to so much harassment? She was the one who had borne the brunt of the animosity and, half the time, he had known nothing about it because she had been trying to protect him. She had been insulted and threatened by both dwarves and elves and a gang had even tried to murder their son as an "abomination". She had been rejected by her own community and one of her own soldiers at the outpost had sexually assaulted her because their marriage had somehow set her apart and made her fair game.

And all he did was create problems for her. He had tolerated a woman in his home whom he knew to be a trouble-maker instead of throwing her out straight away; and this had eventually caused Tauriel considerable pain, a pain which he knew was still with her. And he had brawled in their home, smashing it to pieces in his arrogant search for revenge without giving her opinions due consideration. And then, only a few weeks ago, he had been involved in yet another fight, beating up Tauriel's elven friends, even the one she regarded as a son. What an example he had been to his children, even involving them in the free-for-all. He was a terrible father as well as being a terrible husband and they would all be better off without him.

And perhaps the worst, he finally thought, the very, very worst, was the fact that he would die and leave her all on her own, to live her immortal life without him there to look after her. She really should have married another elf.

It was with all these thoughts crowding his mind that Thorin finally got up and faced a new day.

.o00o.

PT II

They spent two weeks with Elrond. The children loved it there and enjoyed riding up and down the valley on their ponies and demonstrating to the elves the superiority of dwarven bows. Tauriel thought that Thorin seemed very quiet and, when he became quiet, it always bothered her.

"Talk to me!" she commanded one night as they lay in bed together.

"What about?" he asked and he ran his finger down her beautiful face.

"Talk about why you're suddenly very quiet and why we've hardly made love these past couple of weeks." And her eyes searched his face for the truth.

Thorin sighed. "I can't tell you how tired I am, Tauriel," he said. "You may find it relaxing to be amongst elves but I find it quite stressful." And he kissed her gently on the lips. I'm a good liar, he thought.

Tauriel gave him a suspicious look. "And is that all?" she said.

"No," he said. "It's just one thing among several. We've travelled a long way for more than five months now and I've only been in the company of my own kind for a few days in all that time. I found Mirkwood even more stressful than I do Rivendell. All that kissing." And he grinned and kissed her tenderly on the lips again.

"Is there more?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I'm worried about going home and I'm afraid of what we might find. The orcs could have burned the house to the ground, for all we know. The closer we get, the more I find myself thinking about it." Half-truths, he thought, but they seemed to satisfy Tauriel.

He made love to her that night to allay suspicion and it was wonderful. It wasn't that he didn't want to make love to her – he was desperate to do so and seemed to spend far too many of his waking hours thinking about it. But, when he did make love to her, he was filled with guilt. It seemed to him that he was using her to satisfy his own desires instead of thinking about what he could do to make life right for her and the children. His thoughts had progressed to the point where he thought that, ultimately, his family would be better off staying in Rivendell or going back to Mirkwood without him but he couldn't bring himself, as yet, to discuss it with her. Just one more day, he kept telling himself. Just one more day with her and then he would give her the opportunity to make the break from him.

.o00o.

In the end, they set out for Hobbiton without Thorin saying anything. By the time they arrived at Bag End, only a week remained of their exile.

"Well, my goodness," said Bilbo to the children. "Five of you set out and now seven of you have come back." And he dutifully petted and admired Blue and Little Beorn. "What marvellous names!" he exclaimed when they told him what the ponies were called. "I can't think of any name that would have suited them better!" And Arion and Rose gave Thorin a smug "I told you so" look.

Bilbo was delighted to look after them for a week but the seven days seemed to pass slowly for them all. Now that they were nearly there, they were straining at the leash to get home to Ered Luin. At last, the day of their departure arrived. There was much hugging and kissing with sugar-lumps for the ponies and biscuits for Dog; and then they were off.

Within a day, they had crossed the borders and reached the byway that led off the main road to the dwarven halls. "There it is! There it is!" shouted Arion excitedly as the homesteads and cottages and the caves hove into view. Dog barked and they all laughed and pointed; they couldn't wait to see Dis' face.

And there she was, looking solid and homely and welcoming. The children jumped from their ponies and flung themselves at her. "My goodness!" she said. "How you've grown!" And there were tears in her eyes. Arion and Rose ran into and around the house, exclaiming because it was all there, just as they had left it. It seemed a wonder and a reassurance to them because there had been so many changes in their lives in the previous six months.

"How have things been?" asked Thorin as they all sat down to supper.

"Pretty quiet," said Dis. "There have been no more orc raids and your men, Tauriel, are doing a good job of keeping us all safe. Lostwithiel has managed well without you... But they've all missed you," she added, patting Tauriel's hand, just in case the elf thought they were all managing a bit too well without her.

"And what about the forge?" continued Thorin.

"Well, brother, first of all, you'll be pleased to know that I've got a whole list of commissions for you from the Grey Havens. They're such admirers of your work that they're quite happy to wait."

"And the house?" asked Tauriel.

Dis looked pleased with herself. "I got the carpenters and the masons onto the repairs and the extension as soon as you left. They've done a fine job. I know you'll be pleased with it. And you just wait until you see your new bedroom, Rose! Such a pretty room!"

Tauriel touched her husband's arm. "Thorin has been really worried that the whole place would be burned down by orcs," she said.

"Well, I've done my best," Dis responded. "I've got everyone from the settlement who has passed by the forge on their way to and from the Grey Havens to give it a quick look and report back to me when they've come home. It was last reported on three days ago and it was still standing then."

The children gave a cheer and they all went to bed. Thorin made love to Tauriel that night and he wondered how many more times it would happen before she finally left him. Once they had got back to the forge, then he would talk to her.

.o00o.

They stocked up at the settlement, waved cheerily goodbye to Dis and then set off at last for home. They sang as they rode and the children argued over which pony should go in which stable. They clattered excitedly into the yard and dismounted from their horses. All the windows were shuttered but Rose suddenly clutched Tauriel by the arm and pointed upward. Thorin froze. There was smoke coming out of the chimney! He drew his sword and silently approached the house whilst Tauriel held her children to her. But, before he could come within reach of the door, the arrow slits in both of the windows snapped back and arrow heads emerged, both pointing at him.

"Put down your weapon!" snarled a voice. And he did so. There was a grating of metal as the bars on the door were pulled and a thickset man appeared with a long-handled axe in his hand.

"Who are you?" growled Thorin. "And what are you doing in my home?"

"Ah," said the man. "The owner returns, does 'e? Well, it ain't your 'ome no more because me and me mates 'ave requisitioned it, so to speak. So you can just bugger off and find somewhere else to lay yer 'ead."

Tauriel stepped forward then. "But you can't just take it," she gasped. "It's our home. What right do you have to it?"

"The right o' force," the man grinned. "I saw it, I took it and I'm a-keepin' of it."

"What if the soldiers come and tell you otherwise?" asked Thorin grimly.

"Oh, they can come if they like. But a right little fortress this is. 'Ow many of yer soldier friends d'ye think it's worth losing afore yer could wrest this'un off me, now?" And the squatter laughed because he had assessed his man and knew that he would not think that bricks and mortar were worth even one life. "Now get those children out of 'ere afore they get hurt." And he turned to shut the door.

Suddenly, Rose pushed away from the shelter of Tauriel's arms and stepped forward yelling: "Jim Widgery! It's you, ain't it? What a surprise!" And she stood there grinning at him.

The man stopped in his tracks and then raised his eyebrows in recognition. Thorin just stood there, warily watching the scene unfolding in front of him.

"My, if it ain't our little Rose," the man chuckled. "What you doin' 'ere?"

"Thought I'd found meself a decent pad, didn't I," said Rose, sauntering up to the front door. "But looks like I've lost it now." And she grinned and gestured towards him.

"Well, looks like you just 'ave," grinned the man in response. "And where's yer dad, then?"

"Taken by Corsair pirates," she said, "and this 'ere smith and 'is wife felt sorry for me and took me in. Any of me mates along wiv you inside, then?"

"Yeah, Bill Barnes and Marty White," and he gestured to the arrow slits. "You remember them, don't yer, Rose?"

"O' course," she said, "and I wouldn't mind seein' 'em again." And with that, she stepped forward as if to enter the house. But the man held out his hand to stop her.

"Oi, and what about these 'ere noo friends yer got?" he asked. "Don't you go expectin' me to entertain them as well." And he grinned widely, showing a row of rotten teeth.

Rose shrugged. "They ain't no friends o'mine," she said. "They're just people I was livin' wiv as I was passin' through. Earned me keep too. They kept me cookin'and cleanin' and lookin' after their kid all day long. Time I moved on, I fink."

The man stood to one side and bowed for her to enter.

"Rose!" said Thorin sharply, stepping forward as if to stop her. But the man lifted his axe and pointed it at his chest threateningly so that Thorin raised his hands in surrender and stepped back again.

"Rose!" shouted Tauriel. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"Lookin' after me own interests," said Rose as she entered the house.

"You said it, girl," laughed the man and he shut and bolted the door behind him.

.o00o.

PT III

Tauriel stood there with her mouth open and Arion started to cry. "I don't believe it," she said. "I just can't believe that she's walked out on us." And she started to cry too.

Thorin put his arm around her and Arion clung to him. "Of course she hasn't walked out on us," he said firmly. "Surely you know your own daughter by now? She's up to something. And I just hope that those men don't work that out too quickly."

But there was nothing he could do for the moment except wait. And so they withdrew to the trees to see what plan Rose intended to put into action, ready to rush to her aid when the moment came.

Jim, meanwhile, was locking and barring the door while Bill and Marty shut the arrow slits. "Great to see you, Rose," said Bill. "It's bin a long time." These men had often worked with her father when they were up to no good. And children were always useful in a gang of thieves and ruffians. They remembered how really effective Rose had been, wriggling through small widows when they were breaking into a house and distracting people by looking sweet and pathetic when they were picking pockets. And she always attracted a lot of money from tender-hearted, charitable townsfolk when she was set to beg in the street. So, now, they welcomed her back into the fold. But, while they clapped her on the shoulder and patted her head, they were already thinking of her uses.

"Lookin' good, Rose," said Marty. "And he scarcely recognised her. She was wearing boy's riding gear but her hair was very pretty and she had lost her previous skinny, waif-like look.

"Yeah," said Jim. "But she'll 'ave to lose some weight if she wants to look pathetic and 'alf-starved. That allus appeals to the soft-'earted."

"Well," said Rose, "I'll do the cookin' and I'll eat 'alf portions. Where are the provisions and I can start now."

It was nearly time for the evening meal and they remembered how useful it was to have a girl about the place. They always seemed to know about stuff like cooking. And so they showed her where they had stashed the food and Rose started preparations whilst Jim, Bill and Marty sat at their ease and drank the beer they had brought with them.

Rose bustled about. Tauriel's cooking lessons now served her well and she managed to throw together something quite tasty. As she served it up in the Hall, she looked scornfully at their mugs of beer. "What's that muck you're drinkin'," she asked. "Aven't you found the wine cellar yet?"

"Wine cellar? What wine cellar?" Jim asked and their eyes brightened.

She pulled back the big rug in the centre of the room to disclose a cunningly disguised trap-door.

"This wine-cellar," she said.

Marty descended the ladder and re-emerged with half a dozen bottles of wine. "There's some good stuff down there," he said. And they immediately set to, drinking straight from the bottle.

Good, thought Rose. He's chosen some pretty potent varieties there.

They got through the six bottles quickly and Marty descended into the cellar again, although rather more unsteadily this time. Rose's food lay forgotten and cold on the plates. And, after another round, Jim and Bill were out cold, snoring and sprawled across the table. "Go and get us anuvver bottle," said Marty blearily.

"Sorry, Marty," replied Rose. "I've always been frightened of that cellar. But, I'll help you out when you're ready."

And so, Marty climbed down and began fumbling about in the semi-darkness. At which, Rose slammed shut the cellar door and shot the big bolt. Ignoring his cries, she walked across the room and unbarred and unlocked the front door. Thorin was standing across the yard, leaning against a tree. "What took you so long?" he asked with a grin.

"You're just so ungrateful," muttered Rose and his grin widened.

They all went into the house and laughed when they saw the unconscious men and heard Marty yelling from the cellar. "Brilliant!" said Tauriel. Then they hauled the drunks out into the yard and released Marty from his prison. As he stumbled up the ladder and emerged into the room, he found Orcrist at his throat.

"Get out in the yard with your friends," snarled Thorin. Outside, Rose and Arion doused Jim and Bill with buckets of cold water while Thorin stood by with his sword and Tauriel with her bow.

"And now, be off with you," said Thorin. "And we don't want to see you anywhere in the area again."

The men staggered to their feet, moaning and clutching their heads. "You're gonna pay for this, Rose," said Jim in a menacing voice. "Really pay for it."

Thorin pressed Orcrist against his throat. "If you dare threaten my daughter again, you'll never see another dawn," he said softly. "And, now, get out of here."

The three men went quickly, looking fearfully over their shoulders. And then the family were able to enter their home for the first time in six months. The place was a mess. The men had only been there a couple of days and yet had managed to trash it. They all sat down and gazed around despondently. "I won't be able to relax until it's all tidy," said Tauriel and, although they were hungry, they set to with brooms and cleaning cloths and buckets of water. In a surprisingly short amount of time, it felt like home again and then they were able to appreciate the extension to the Hall. Arion's old bedroom had been turned into a playroom and a place to keep toys. They walked through it to reach two new bedrooms which had been built for the children and was designed to distance them a bit more from their parents' room. Tauriel gave Thorin an amused, sidelong glance but he didn't seem to notice. Both children were pleased with their rooms; Arion's was sturdy and masculine whilst Rose's had lots of pretty details and a beautiful little bed carved with flowers.

Rose sighed. "It's lovely," she said. "I shall sleep in here tonight."

"Does that mean that I'll have to sleep on my own?" asked Arion a bit anxiously.

"Yes," said Rose. "But you can have Dog with you, if you like, and I'll check for monsters under the bed before you go to sleep."

"Oh, all right, then," said Arion, sounding quite happy with the deal.

Then Tauriel and Rose cooked a meal whilst Thorin and Arion did their best to help. And, finally, they sat down to eat with the feeling that they had, at last, come home.

.o00o.

Tauriel had been looking forward to some celebratory love-making that night and was disappointed when Thorin climbed into bed, gave her a peck on the cheek and then went straight to sleep. She sighed, there was something wrong, in spite of his reassurances, and she would talk to him tomorrow.

Thorin was only pretending to be asleep. He had been very disturbed by the events of the day in more ways than one. All the way to the forge, he had been gearing himself up for a conversation with Tauriel, only to find the house occupied by squatters. And then what happened? Was the great Thorin Oakenshield the one to seize back his family's home? No, that was achieved by a little girl whilst he stood by helpless. And the men had threatened his daughter. He should have killed them there and then because their threats would now hang over Rose and they would never know if and when a revenge attack would take place. But, he had grown soft, even in the defence of his children, and he had just shooed them away.

What was wrong with him? He had been totally inadequate and the best thing to do was to get Tauriel and the children away from this dangerous place as soon as possible. Rivendell was where he would like them to go and where he felt they would be happiest. Rose had a very good relationship with Elrond and, moreover, the elf understood the difficulties of having mixed blood which meant he would be able to help and advise Arion as he grew older in a way that he could not. Bilbo often visited there as well and he would be a good friend and contact for all three of them. And, finally, it was this side of the Misty Mountains, unlike Mirkwood, and perhaps they would like him to visit them sometimes, too. He guessed that they would look forward to his visits initially, but he also knew that, the longer they were apart, the more distant Tauriel and the children would become. There might even come a time when they asked him not to visit any more. It gave him pain to think about this but he knew that he must put the needs of his family and not his own selfish desires first.

In fact, he was practising being unselfish tonight. He desperately wanted to make love to Tauriel. But, if tomorrow he suggested that they all leave, any love-making now might remind her of the time when he had said it was one to remember him by and he had no desire to give her back a memory of that most cruel moment. And so he pretended to be asleep. And Tauriel lay next to him and pretended to be asleep as well.

.o00o.

PT IV

Thorin got up early and went straight out to his forge to work on his new commissions. Hammering helped him to think. The forge had been rebuilt beautifully and he found it a very calming place to be. He could hear them all getting up in the house, opening shutters and the front door, making breakfast and singing, and all being perfectly happy without him.

Later...Later today, he would tell them. He would get them all together and explain to them why it was best for everyone concerned if they moved to Rivendell without him...everyone concerned except him, of course. But he wouldn't let them know that. He knew he couldn't live with the elves for more than a few weeks and he had to make his family understand that a separation was the only way.

Thorin put his tools down and went to the pump in the corner. He felt hot and miserable and needed to wash all his muddy thoughts away. He stuck his head under the pump and had only just raised it, wet and dripping, when a shadow blocked the light from the door. He turned, expecting to see Tauriel or Rose with his breakfast but, instead, there stood Jim and Marty, armed to the teeth, and screams suddenly came from the house next door. He glanced to the far side of the room where his sword and axe stood propped in the corner. They saw the direction of his glance and laughed.

"Well, dwarf," sneered Jim, "we seem to 'ave caught you on the 'op. And here's us payin' you a visit wiv a few friends." And he advanced into the room with his axe whilst Marty followed with his sword.

Thorin relaxed and took up a defensive posture. He was the great warrior, Thorin Oakenshield, and they were the scum of the underworld. No problem. He smiled, showing his white teeth.

"'Ere, Jim, why's 'e smilin'?" said Marty in a worried voice.

"'E's preparin' to meet 'is fate," said Jim, advancing further into the room. But Marty wasn't convinced and held back.

Jim ran at Thorin, swinging his axe, and brought it down on the dwarf in a heavy sweep. Thorin stood very still until the last moment. And then he moved slightly to one side so that the axe swept past him, missing him by a hair's breadth. Jim was flung forward by the weight and momentum of his own weapon and Thorin lunged, seizing the axe from his unsteady grasp in passing and knocking him from his feet. Then, as Marty stood open-mouthed, he swung the axe and swept Marty's head from his shoulders and, as he spun with the movement of the axe, he brought it down on Jim's neck as he still lay on the floor. It had only taken a few seconds and it was all over.

There was an ominous silence from the hall next door and then Dog began to bark. Thorin seized Orcrist and dashed to the door of his home. Four men lay sprawled on their backs in the centre of the room. And they were all dead. Two had their throats cut and two had arrows through them.

It seemed to Thorin that he was watching a tableau. Tauriel stood, wide-eyed and motionless on one side of the room, a killing knife in each hand, whilst the two children stood in a similar motionless fashion with their dwarven bows raised and their hands still in the firing position against their cheeks as if they had only just released the bowstring. Dog was the only thing in motion in the room, barking his head off and running excitedly from side to side.

Thorin's entrance broke the spell and, suddenly, they were all shouting at once. When the clamour had died down, he wrapped them in his arms for a few moments and then made them sit down so that they could tell him what had happened in the room.

"They came in while I was in the kitchen," said Tauriel. "I think they thought it would be easy – a woman and two children. They came to kill us," she said and she raised her eyes to him in horror. "But my knives were in the kitchen and I shouted for you and the children heard me scream."

"We were in the playroom," said Arion, "and we ran to our bedrooms and got our bows."

"Yeah," said Rose, her eyes glowing with excitement. "And when we came out, Tauriel was fighting two of them and Dog had one by the ankle and we just – we just – shot them." And suddenly she burst into tears. "My arrow went right through 'is breastplate," she sobbed. "I knew it would." And Thorin gathered both his children in his arms and comforted them.

"It's over," he said. And then they dragged the bodies outside, cleaned up the bloodstains and had breakfast. Afterwards, the children climbed upon his lap and went to sleep.

"They're exhausted," said Tauriel. And she leaned on his shoulder and shut her eyes too and they all sat there for a long time.

.o00o.

But this did not increase Thorin's confidence in himself: in fact, it only made things worse. As he sat there quietly with Tauriel and the children, he could only think of his huge mistake in judgement when he had failed to kill the squatters. Because of this, the men had come back with reinforcements and had nearly killed his entire family. By the time that Arion and Rose had woken up and had gone to play in their room and Tauriel had got up and returned to the kitchen, Thorin was convinced that the forge was a very dangerous place to be and that he was a very dangerous person to be with.

This afternoon, he told himself. I must tell them this afternoon.

.o00o.

The afternoon came and Thorin took a deep breath. "I want to talk to everyone about something important," he said.

Here it comes, thought Tauriel.

They all sat around the table and looked expectantly at him and Thorin cleared his throat.

"The attacks on us and our home in the past two days have convinced me of something I've been concerned about for a long time." They all stared wide-eyed at him wondering what was coming next. "I think it's pretty obvious that this forge is not a suitable place to bring up a family and it seems a good idea to me that you should all move to Rivendell."

"Why Rivendell?" asked Tauriel.

"Well, for a start," said Thorin to his wife, pleased that there wasn't an immediate outcry, "we've had trouble both from the dwarves and men up at the settlement and from the elves down in the Grey Havens. Just like here, they are not safe places either. But Rivendell is. And it is a place where I know you feel very happy and comfortable."

He turned to the children. "You both like Elrond, don't you?" And they nodded. "Elrond is already teaching you a lot of important things, Rose. And I think, Arion, that Elrond would have plenty of good advice for you as you get older."

"Well," said Rose, "I'm a bit fed up with learning to speak proper. I like you teaching me 'ow to ride and 'ow to shoot a bow. And that was a really useful thing to know this morning, wasn't it?"

"And," said Arion, "you always give me good advice. Why does Elrond have to give it to me?"

There was a long pause and finally Thorin said quietly: "Because I won't be there."

There was immediate uproar with everyone shouting at once. Finally, Tauriel held up her hand for silence and said with a quiver in her voice: "I think you'd better explain yourself, Thorin."

He stared at them all, wondering how he could make them understand and then he said: "For most of my adult life, I wanted to defeat Smaug and be King under the Mountain. I was obsessed with it. Nothing else mattered. And then I became King." And he paused.

"And then you gave it all away," said Tauriel quietly.

"Yes, I gave it all away because I was no good at being a king. I nearly caused the deaths of dwarves, men and elves because of my pride. Dain is a much better king than I could ever have been."

"And then," continued Tauriel, "you married me and had children."

He looked at her. "You and Arion and Rose were all I ever wanted. I thought that no dwarf could be luckier."

"But then," said Tauriel, "you decided that you were no good at being a husband or a father and now you want to give us all away – to Elrond."

"Yes," said Thorin, relieved that she seemed to understand.

"How dare you?!" said Tauriel quietly and with feeling.

The children lined up either side of her.

"I don't want to be given away! Don't you dare give me away! It's as bad as me dad tryin' to sell me!" cried Rose.

"And I don't want to be given away either!" said Arion. "And neither does Dog." And he put his arm around his pet.

This was not going well, thought Thorin and he tried again.

"Look, children," he said, "I want you to think about what a bad father I've been and how dangerous it is to be near me and how much better off you'll be in Rivendell." They looked at him sullenly and so he pressed on. "Just think how I let Kagris into my home and it nearly ended up with you being murdered, Arion. And how I was just too stupid to realise that there was so much hatred for this family. And just think, Rose, of the way I treated you when I first found you, as if you were an adult and not a little girl. I was so rough and unkind. You must have hated me."

"Well," muttered Rose, "I deserved it. And you taught me right from wrong."

"And it was me who let Kagris into our home and kept things from you and ran away with Arion in the middle of the night, putting us both in danger," put in Tauriel.

Thorin ran his fingers through his hair and pressed on: "But don't you remember how much you enjoyed being with Bilbo and Elrond and Legolas? It was much more fun than being with me."

"Novelty value," said Tauriel. "It soon wore off."

"And what about me involving you in that fight with the elves in Mirkwood? No decent father would have done that."

"Oh," said Rose, her eyes gleaming, "but it was so much fun!"

"Yeah," said Arion, "and I started it!"

"And what about the past few days?" he asked desperately. "I should have killed those squatters and, because I didn't, they came back to kill us. I'm just too dangerous to be with."

"Of course you're not," said Rose scornfully. "You saved me and Arion from drowning."

"And you saved me from those men and dwarves who called me a 'bomination," put in Arion.

"And you saved me and Lostwithiel from the orcs," said Tauriel. "And you saved us all when you held up the roof in the cave where you were prepared to die yourself."

"You're a hero," said Rose.

"Yeah!" said Arion. "And heroes don't give their children away!"

There was a pause while they all glared fiercely at him. Then he said: "Go outside and play, you two. I need to talk to your mother. And, reluctantly, they went out into the yard. "And don't go near those bodies!" he yelled.

He turned back to Tauriel and she sat waiting patiently. Then he got up and paced up and down the room. And then he came back to the table, sat down and took her by the hand. "It's your responsibility," he said, "to take your children away to Rivendell, out of harm's way. And I'm leaving it up to you to persuade them."

"They're your responsibility too," she replied calmly. "And they're definitely not Elrond's."

Thorin got up again and walked around a bit more. "Then, if you won't go for their sake, you must go for your own." And he sat down and took her hand in his. "Tauriel," he said, "you must see that life with the elves offers you more than I can ever offer you."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like, all that beauty."

"You're beautiful," she said.

He dropped her hand and continued doggedly: "And there's the music and the poetry."

"I can write my own poetry if I really want to and your singing surpasses anything I have heard in either Rivendell or Mirkwood. And I think the ladies of the Grey Havens would agree with me there." And she giggled.

"Stop it, Tauriel," he said, "and listen to me seriously."

With an effort, she pulled a straight face and said, "I'm listening."

"And there's the witty conversation. I don't do witty conversation," he said sullenly.

"Ah, yes," she said, "but I could listen to your lovely voice all day. And being witty is so tiring."

"And what about the dangers of living with me at this forge?" he persisted.

"There are dangers everywhere. You don't escape them by running away. And I'd rather face them with you than with anyone else on Middle-earth." And she leaned across the table and kissed him tenderly.

He was not going to be side-tracked. He backed away and said: "But I've been so cruel to you and I can't guarantee that I won't be cruel again."

"And I have forgiven you. And I shall forgive you again. And besides," she added, "for every unkind thing you have ever done – and those can be counted on the fingers of one hand – you have done hundreds of wonderful things – acts of love, kindness, bravery, compassion – the list is endless." And she stood up and came around to where he was sitting and sat upon his lap and, taking him by his plaits, looked deeply into his eyes. "And that's why I love you. And that's why Arion and Rose love you. And that's why there is no way on Middle-earth that we are going to traipse off to Rivendell and leave you behind. We are going to stay with you in this forge on the crossroads because that's where we all belong... Together... And now," she said, "I am going to kiss you. And I shan't stop kissing you until you agree that I am right."

Then Tauriel covered his lips with her own and he let her kiss him for some time until he finally agreed that she was right. And Tauriel went to the door and called the children in and told them that they weren't going to Rivendell but that they were all going to stay together at the forge and that their father had agreed to stop being silly. And then the children cheered and gave Thorin a hug.

.o00o.

Thorin and Tauriel lay in bed together. "There is one more thing," he said.

"Tell me about it," she sighed.

"I'm going to die and then you will be left all on your own."

"Yes, I know, my love," she said, "and I wish that we could go on together for all time. But we can't. We must just make the most of the time that we have been given. Every moment we spend together must count and every moment must be beautiful, like this," she said. And she drew him into her arms and kissed him and whispered how much she loved him. And the moments that they spent together that night and every night were, indeed, very beautiful.

.o00o.