CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XI
"Hey…What did you hear me say? You know the difference it makes.
What did you hear me say? Yes, I said it's fine before
But I don't think so no more, I said it's fine before.
I've changed my mind, I take it back
Erase and rewind 'Cause I've been changing my mind
So...Where did you see me go? It's not the right way, you know.
Where did you see me go?
No...It's not the light, oh no. I just don't want it to grow."
(THE CARDIGANS – "Erase & Rewind")
Luna received two gifts for Valentine's Day: the first one was a large chocolate's box from Neville which she found quite irresistible. Once poking at the box, she found that she'd already eat half its content, she then half-shrugged knowing that she would probably suffer from a nasty stomach-ache after eating so much chocolate in so little time. She tilted her head forward, inspecting the bangle that lied on the table a few inches from her: Draco's Valentine's gift to her. The Ravenclaw's girl noticed that one of the needle shaped thorns, the one stained with her blood, was starting to change its form and colour, turning from yellow gold into red gold. The rest of the entwine thorns started to morph as well into heart shaped ivy leaves. The dirty blond girl took the foliate shaped gold bangle and held it in her palm, inside where engraved some monogrammed letters: "L.L + D.M"
"Which side of yours would end up winning you over Draco?" She said to herself as she pressed it tight with one hand, feeling the coldness of the gold slowly warming in contact with her skin before she retrieved it to the box and placed it inside her schoolbag.
She then closed her smoke grey eyes and took a big breath while rubbing her stomach that was slowly starting to suffer from the chocolate overdose. Once she opened them, she noticed that some members of her House were staring right back at her with scolding looks.
"Oh sorry guys, do you want some chocolates? They're really good!" She smiled, lifting the box towards the group of boys and girls sited next to her while sucking one of her chocolate covered fingers.
Only a pair of 2nd year kids, one silk blond haired boy and a red-haired girl, who were flipping through a copy of THE QUIBBLER accepted with a shy smile. The rest of the students of her House just turned their heads away from Luna. She left the box there, knowing that they would probably empty it once she wasn't looking. Luna placed her schoolbag over her shoulder and lifted from the table, rubbing slowly her tummy for she was feeling a bit too full by then.
As she paced slowly one of the corridors, heading to the first class of the day, she felt her stomach fighting a lost battle for it suddenly surrender to the pains of the chocolate overload. Luna placed one hand over her stomach and she could literally feel her entrails kicking inside as a sudden nausea crawled up her throat: that was a bad sign. She knew she must rush to a bathroom and she'd better hurry.
Luna kneeled in front of the lavatory and crossed her arms over her stomach for it was hurting a bit too much. She hunched forward, but nothing happened, not after she waited there for about a quarter of an hour. She then stood up, rearranged her clothes and pulled the chain before coming out from the cubic noticing that no-one else was in the bathroom. She headed to the sink and washed her hands while looking herself on the mirror, noticing some dark shade under her eyes, she looked really tired for her lack of sleep.
A sudden cold breeze surrounded her, she knew that someone or something was with her making mournful, shrill noises just a few inches from where she was standing and that just immobilized Luna, she didn't move.
"I'm okay." Luna said to herself, but once she lifted her eyes to see herself in the mirror, something odd happened.
Luna saw that the image in the mirror was not herself but some distorted reflection of a woman twice her age, with shabby blond unbound hair, pursed thin dark blue lips and closed shut eyes; from behind the sick white skin of her neck came crawling a pitch black colour snake.
The girl hesitated. "This just can't be happening…not again."
To her horror, the reflection frowned and moved the lips, mouthing some silent words.
"Please go away." Luna said between deep sobs.
But the image on the mirror did not fade away and made a mournful noise that resembled a tormented lament.
"Who are you?" Luna asked with a faulting voice.
"I'm just bones clothed with white sick skin. I've lost my youth and been deprived of my beauty. I used to be just like you."The reflection replied with a mournful shattered voice.
Luna couldn't believe what she was hearing and seeing anymore; she felt her pounding heart coming out of her throat by then. "What happened to you?"
The reflection then leaned forward with a splintered broken movement. "I'm the result of Malfoy's discontent."
Luna shook her head as if to clear it and stared back at the mirror again as she put herself together and confront her distorted reflection. "You're Narcissa Black!?"
In reply, the image on the mirror opened her eyes, revealing empty hollow sockets staring right back her. "That's who I used to be...yes. Luna, I'm not here to save you neither to condemn you."
Luna could feel those empty hollow eyes drilling through her skull as her stomach revolted forcing her to throw up.
"What's happening to me?" Luna shook her head twice while cleaning the sickness from her mouth.
Luna's reflection then rubbed her bony hands into her empty sockets. "Draco used to be such an innocent boy, but he's all grown up now. He's a very powerful wizard who happens to be this close to lose control. He could become dangerous and unpredictable if you're not by his side for you're all he got left. You're his balance and peace of mind; he needs you as badly as you need him."
"I'm nothing but a placebo for him, whatever he's capable of, he'll end up doing it…whether if I'm with him or not. Besides, how can I possible go back to him and stop every fibre inside me from screaming to get away from him and keep running?" Luna then soaked a towel with fresh water and pressed it over her face.
Leaving the towel on the edge of the sink, she looked up again at the reflection.
"I felt the same way when I knew I was with child. As the love for my baby filled me whole it was also fuelling Lucius' maddening jealousy for he knew I loved my unborn child more than him. I wanted to run away too." This time the reverb effect behind the reflection's words came clearer into Luna's ears.
The confused girl's head was spinning strangely with a mixture of feelings swimming inside, and she didn't know how to start explaining them as she asked to herself. "This means that I'm pregnant? No, that's not possible!"
Luna was shocked, once she lifted up her gaze, the image on the mirror reflected her pearl grey eyes and wet face.
"Wait, don't go! Please tell me, I need to know!" She sobbed, running a finger down the mirror, recognizing the soft traces of her own facial features when she realized someone had just entered the bathroom.
"Loony, you think you're pretty, don't you?" Someone said in a cynical high-pitched tone.
Luna removed her hand of the mirror and turned back to look at who had just entered, and saw Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulstrode, two girls from 6th year in Slytherin, laughing as if the comment was funny.
Luna's mouth worked twice before she said: "My name is Luna."
The two girls pretended they didn't hear her and smiled at each other, then stared back at Luna who was looking very pale by then.
"She thinks that because she crossed one of two words with Draco on the hallway that made her felt special." Millicent shot back looking at Daphne.
"She's poor and crazy. Draco was probably rejecting her Valentine's Card making clear that he didn't want anything with her!" Daphne said, still laughing. Her tone of sophisticated venom shook the Ravenclaw's insides.
Luna raised her eyebrows, her pearl grey eyes widened as she felt a transparent velvet curtain surrounding her, like an invisible line cutting her off from the pair of girls. She studied them closely, and thinking about what they have just said to her, she burst out laughing.
The pair of girls looked at Luna puzzled for a couple of minutes. Then, finally understanding she was definitely mental, they decided to play along with her and stepped closer.
"I don't want any trashy girl to mess with my future husband. You'd better stay away from Draco. Did you hear me?" Daphne shot back with a menacing tone.
"Yes, I heard you clearly because unlike you, I happen to have a good ear." Luna's smile assured them that everything was fine, yet her smoke grey eyes were blurred with the ghost of tears.
"Who do you think you are Loony?" The pair of Slytherins called out.
Luna reached out for Daphne's hand and grasped it tightly in hers as she said. "Hello Daphne Greengrass. Let me shake your hand as I introduce myself…again. My name is Luna Lovegood. Forgetting a person's name when about to introduce is awkward, and when it does occur, one should apologize and ask again. If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper to inform the one to whom you are introduced and to say: 'Pardon me, but I failed to hear your name.'…where are your manners?"
The Slytherin girl looked over her shoulder at Millicent before focusing her eyes on Luna and replied. "Normal people don't talk like that, you're definitely crazy and how dare you touch my hand?"
"You've just proved that money doesn't buy politeness. And I must be loony for wanting to teach manners to a spoiled girl like you!" Luna narrowed her smoke grey eyes as she placed her hands around her hips and added. "One more thing, for the record: Draco Malfoy is mine and I simply refuse to share him with anyone. You touch him…you die."
Daphne, slightly disturbed by all that, pushed Luna's fragile body towards the sink. A spasm of pain crossed the dirty blonde's face as she rubbed her tummy with both hands for she hit hard the edge of the sink with her stomach.
A shade of pink appeared right before Luna's eyes as she began to speak, her voice monotone and hollow. "You shouldn't have done that."
"Oh, really? What are you going to do Loony?" Both girls asked in unison.
Right then all the crystal mirrors of the bathroom blasted into a million of splinters around the three girls, strangely without damaging any of them. The two Slytherin girls contemplated the scene with shocked eyes as Luna, taking off her wand from behind her ear, pointed it straight at them with a cold smirk, Malfoy's style.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Two Gryffindor boys from 6th year were chatting while stepping out from the Great Hall. The one on the right was slightly taller and a lot chubbier than the one of the left who had a healthy, athletic and well toned muscle structure and amazing emerald green eyes.
Following some strange and nervous impulse, Neville turned and looked up at Harry. 'Please ask her out, you're my only chance!'
"I will as soon as I have the chance to come across her." Harry replied, pocketing his hands on his cloak as he lowered his head with frustration.
Neville looked up from Harry's shoulder and caught sight of Luna coming out from the bathroom.
"Look, she's right there, just go…now!" Neville said, pushing his friend forcibly towards where Luna was standing.
"Okay, okay! Will you please chill out?" He looked at his friend, narrowing those emerald green eyes of him and sighed soundly before he turned away and rushed to meet Luna.
As Luna closed the bathroom's door behind her, she saw a young man hurrying through the empty corridor, waving at her. She looked at him for a moment and froze, as if taken by surprise.
"Hi Luna, how are you?" Harry spoke with an anxious tone.
She took a moment to answer, a moment trying to stop her heart from racing any longer.
"I'm so…glad to see you Harry." She replied, looking down, swallowing her nervousness.
His emerald green eyes fell on her filled hands and he suddenly realized that the brown objects Luna was holding were a pair of small, brown and furry animals.
"Don't tell me you received those rats as Valentine's gifts! Who in his right mind would do such thing?" He frowned, visible disgusted at the sight of those rodents in the hands of her friend.
She turned her head away, trying to control herself…but she couldn't.
"Actually these are not rats they're Millicent and Daphne, from Slytherin." As soon as the words slipped out, Luna wished she'd never said them, but it was too late.
Luna forced her eyes closed as she said to herself. "What was I thinking?"
Harry looked at her, astonished for a split second but then he smiled widely at her, not believing a single word of her straightforward confession.
"What an excellent choice of names, after all they are rats those two!" He celebrated with an accomplice wink.
She then opened her eyes, focusing on Harry's face as if reading his reactions, noticing that despite what he heard, he'd never relate such an atrocious action with her. Or maybe he just didn't pay enough attention to her…or maybe, just maybe he was just showing a sign of that unconditional trust he always had towards his friends. Luna considered that last option for a moment as she tried to clear her head.
"I still don't agree with the idea of petting rats." He concluded, shrugging his uneasiness.
"Well, you'll see Harry…rats respond positively with unconditional love much like you would expect from any pet and even have their pros: they won't pee on your front rug when the doorbell rings, like dogs would do." Seemed that Luna was talking mostly to distract herself, not really expecting Harry to follow or understand her.
"I think you're right about that, but why two?" He asked, scratching his chin.
"Because a single rat can become neurotic and suffer without the company of other rats, that's why they must get company." She half-whispered the reply.
Harry remained silent, his judging gaze glued at the pair of furry rodents.
"I hate rats!" Harry shook his head and tried hard not to start thinking about Peter Pettigrew.
"Oh come on, take one and feel how soft and cosy is." She said as she tried her best to smile, but couldn't quite manage to do so as she caressed softly the fur of her pets with her thumbs.
"No, it could bite me!" He refused all of a sudden, crossing his arms.
Luna gave him a look of amused disbelief, thinking that Harry couldn't be serious to consider such furry creatures to be a threat to him.
She then hesitated a moment, then frowned, remembering what happened just moments ago to her on the bathroom. "You can't blame them, it's in their nature."
Harry inhaled slowly then let it out with what sounded like a whisper. "Are you planning to keep them?"
Luna studied Harry's discomfort for a moment as if reading Harry's thoughts before replying. But right then a strange feeling struck of her like a blow, leaving her completely unprepared to fight back.
"Don't you worry Harry, rats die very quickly due to their size and the few symptoms they show when they're ill." She replied; her voice was strangely cold without the slightest trace of emotion.
He put his hands over Luna's shoulders and sighed. "That's a comforting thought."
"Is it?" She said in an oddly tense way as she blinked hard to get rid of what too possession of her seconds ago.
"I was almost forgetting why I wanted to speak with you!" Harry scratched his forehead, getting rid of any memory or thought regarding rats and traitors.
Luna tilted her head to the side and looked at Harry with a puzzled look.
"Slughorn invited me, along with some other of his favourite students, to celebrate Valentine's Day and told us to bring a date. Luna would you like to come with me to the party?" He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
Startled, Luna looked up. "Harry, you're asking me to go with you as your date? But, what about Ginny?"
He snapped his head and cursed himself in silence. "Sorry Luna, not as a date but as my friend…for you're my friend…right!"
She let go a heavy sigh and looked up at him, feeling way better.
"Sorry Luna, I didn't mean to confuse you! The thing is that Ginny and I got invited and we thought it was a perfect opportunity to bring some friends with us. She's going to bring Neville to the party. This is going to be great, so we can get together like we used to. What do you say, you're in?" He bit his lip, and crossed his fingers behind his back, waiting for Luna's reply.
"I'm sorry Harry, I can't." She replied with a thread of voice thinking what Draco would be capable of doing is he find out she spent Valentine's Day close to Neville and her friends, she was afraid of their safety.
"It will not be the same without you. Come on, it'll be fun…it's just a party among friends…pretty please?" He begged.
She shook her hear and let go a silent sigh. "Oh Harry…"
"Done, I'll pick you up tonight at ten!" He winked at her and rushed straight to his class, for he was already late.
"But…" Luna opened wide her eyes as a crawling sense of fear haunted her, she clearly rejected his invitation and still he didn't accept her refusal.
"Miss Lovegood." A voice called out and at the sound of her name, Luna turned abruptly, gasping with fear once she caught sight of the all black dressed tall figure of Severus Snape coming from the other end of the deserted corridor.
"You'd be in your classroom by now. Why are you still wondering in the hall?" He asked, pocketing a small pocket clock inside his robes.
"I'm sorry professor. I wasn't feeling well earlier so I stopped to refresh myself in the bathroom before heading to my class." She replied, speaking rapidly.
"You're intending to bring your pets along with you Miss Lovegood?" He narrowed his pitch black eyes and watched her closely, remaining curiously impassive towards her visible uneasiness.
She swallowed hard ad her pale complexion turned even whiter if that was possible. She then started to mumble some words altogether with a thread of voice.
He looked at her with exasperation. "Speak up!"
"They are not my pets professor." Along Luna's words came a rush of tears.
Snape looked behind his back, making sure that nobody else was nearby and leaned closer to Luna.
"Of course they're not, what have you done?!" He arched an eyebrow.
"I…didn't mean to do that, I don't know why…or how it happened…I just feel so bad for causing all this…." She started to apologize as her words kept coming faster and faster.
"You know that it's against the rules to transfigure students!" He shot back with an accusing tone while arching one eyebrow.
Luna began to sob, breathing in between them and as her chocked out sound went on and on, echoing on the corridor's walls. Snape knew he had to do something or she would literally snap out right there with a panic attack.
"Enough, control yourself!" He ordered with a whip lash voice as he ripped the pair of furry little animals from her hands.
Luna was stunned into silence.
"Now I've got to take care of this mess! This week, during your free time periods, you'll serve detention in the dungeons, indexing and cleaning the potions storage room. Professor Slughorn made a mess of it since he's in the post. So, Miss Lovegood, no more excuses, no more tardiness, no more troubles from you. Do you understand what I'm saying?" He said lowering his eyelids while breathing out his annoyance.
Luna blinked away her confusion before answering. "Yes professor."
"I'm going to say this just once and I expect you to listen to me carefully." He frowned, with a killing look on his pitch dark eyes.
She nodded absently and looked up.
Snape sighed soundly, he looked almost absentminded. "Time and the seasons bring big changes in growing things. As time goes on, you'll both discover more and more the pain in your union as well as in your separation. But this is not a question of what you want versus what Malfoy wants, it's about finding a compromise point somewhere in between unity and separation, between your will and his and the tension between these opposites."
The girl stared at the floor for a long while, twisting the gold serpent ring around on her finger before being able to reply.
"I know it's not a question of who's right….but who's left." Luna bitterly joked, feeling a painfully headache coming on.
Snape turned his head and gazed at Luna with disbelief. "It's up to you to lead him to a safer ground, for both your sakes."
"But professor, how am I supposed to do that?" She looked at him with her heart racing almost at the edge of desperation.
He tilted his head to a side before replying, his voice was paused still there was a tint of uneasiness in it. "There's a reason why you two got connected in such an unpredictable way, you both have a double centre of gravity: on the one hand there's your individuality; on the other there's the object of your affection. Both centres are weighted with the same amount of power….that's the root of the problem. You'd better start looking for a way to level his towards you."
"Suggestions leave too much to chance." Luna said to herself as she closed shut her smoke grey eyes.
"Ask yourself why you were sorted in Ravenclaw in the first place. Make good use of that enlightened mind of yours!" He hurried to reassure and turn his back on her, heading towards the dungeons.
"I will, eventually..." She said, but even thinking of that possibility was too much for her to handle at the moment, especially with such a killing headache.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII