Time for a new show!

I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya

The ultimate show everyone can watch!

Man, this place really is my only world to go crazy. Ah well, at least I get to have a good laugh and so does everyone else.

Hold on, this isn't the place to tell my life story! Stupid get back to work!

The SOS Brigade was having another typical meeting. When I say typical, it means that the Suzumiyas are coming up with a terrible idea that they think is good.

"Ok, seeing that every time we try to do a quiz show, Kyon always seems to get himself blown up." Haruki pointed it out.

"Not only that, Kyonko herself is always being stalked by another girl." Haruhi said. "So we had officially decided to make a drama to avoid Kyon exploding and to use Kyonko's stalkable status as well."

"You make it sound like I want to blow up!" Kyon shouted.

"And I'm not being stalked, you ordered Itsuko to go after me!" Kyonko shouted at them.

"Anyway." Haruki cleared his throat. "Everyone will share their own ideas." Great… this is going to be a long one… "Kyon, you first."

"Me?" Haruki and Haruhi were playing checkers. "You're not even paying attention!" Kyon sighed. "Well, this is an old idea but, how about a story with a dying hero?"

"Haruki coughed out blood. "That's brilliant!"

"Wow, you actually liked it."

"A story where he knows how long he's going to live. Great work Kyon. It's amazing…"

"Stop that, you're starting to embarrass me."

"You better rest first Haruki-nii." Haruhi had to calm down her brother. "Itsuki, your turn. See if you can top it off."

"Sounds interesting." Itsuki said with a smile. "How about a love-hate drama?"

Haruhi was now coughing up blood. Is this a theme or something with the Suzumiyas and blood? "Bloody plunders of love! Love turn to hatred! It's perfect!" Ok now you're just exaggerating.

"Whoa, Haruhi, take it easy." Kyonko told her.

"Well, since we're on the topic, let's go with a homosexual relationship." Itsuko said having a glimmer in her eye as she turned to Kyonko.

"Broken hearts mended by forbidden love!" Haruki was revived, only to cough up blood again.

"Oh no you don't!" Kyonko stopped her. "Then how about a forbidden love between brother and sister!" She soon realized how much of a bad idea that is and covered her mouth.

What? Screwing with Kyonko like this is just so much fun!

"You made me say that you bastard!" Kyonko's shouting at me but, I don't care.

"That's an even better idea!" Haruhi's turn to cough up blood. Wow, these two are going to die due to blood loss if this keeps up.

"Everything is very fuzzy but, it'll pass…" Haruki said slowly getting up from the desk, even though there's blood coming out of his mouth.

"If everything's fuzzy then you should rest!" Kyon tried to settle him down.

"Otaku." Yuki said and Haruhi coughed up blood.

You know, I'll just do this and say that the Suzumiyas alternates on coughing up blood. It's too annoying to say that they cough up blood after what the others have to say.

"Action." Yukihiko said next.

"Maid." Mikuru said next.

"Butler." And Mitsuru was last.

"Supplying to the male and female otaku world with mind blowing action! Welcome master…" Haruki said now slowly dying in his and his sister's blood. That's just wrong.

Before we can even continue, the twins were immediately taken out of the building and to the hospital, just so they don't die.

It's the next day and they both are finally backed to their feet with a script. How they can get a script going after losing a lot of blood and in one day, we'll never know.

"Ok everyone, here's the script. It has all the key ideas that you all gave us." Haruhi said. "All you have to do now is just read it."

"And the name of it is 'Gift of the Maid 2, stealing love within a month of death!" Haruki finished it off.

"Why a sequel?" Kyonko questioned them. "And that subtitle sounds like a TV show!"

"As you can tell, it's a kung-fu drama!" Haruhi said reading it.

"Like hell we can!" Kyon told her.

"And it's also about plundering love!"

"Now it sounds refreshing…"

"And the best thing is everyone is cross-dressing as butlers and maids!" Haruki added. Well… that's just sad.

"We're cross-dressing!" Kyon shouted in fear.

"These people hired their maids and butlers in pairs and some are so eccentric that they ordered them to cross-dress, meaning the guys are maids while the girls are butlers. They soon wanted to prove that their pair is the best and set up a battle royal."

"There has got to be a more butler and maid like way to prove it." Kyonko told them.

"So these characters only have a month to live then?" Mitsuru had a quick read of the script.

"A month to do what they want." Haruki had an evil chuckle.

"I heard that! Just dry up and die!" Kyonko shouted again.

"Then what about the plundering love?" Mikuru asked Haruki.

"There will be a winner there so they can pair up that way."

"I guess. But the winners of this seemed to be Kyon-kun and Kyonko."

"They have a strong bond between them and they would do anything to be together forever so yeah."

"Huh?" I think Mikuru and Mitsuru's head just went up in smoke.

It was at this point where they came up to Mu-chan who was sitting on the table and petted him on the head. It was so confusing that they just gave up and stopped thinking.

"I think we better have a look at the first scene." Itsuko said, looking at the script.

"Let me read." Kyon did.

The scene starts with Kyon facing the Nagatos alone while Kyonko is being held captive by the Itsuko Koizumi. We're going to be realistic as possible here so no pulling punches. Itsuko is trying to rape Kyonko and make her all hers. Kyon on the other hand was taking a beating as Yukihiko and Yuki did a double Nagato chop. He will suffer 52 fractures. With luck, he will be able to power up using the medical energy which barely defeats the Nagatos. Despite his extensive injuries, he will go search for his sister and will able to save her just before Kyonko's virginity was taken by Itsuko. What had happen during the time of the fight with Itsuko and Kyonko is all up to them.

"I sound very much dead here…" Kyon was scared while the Nagatos were practicing the double Nagato Chop.

"I can do what I want during the fight scene with Kyonko…" Itsuko was evilly giggling at the thoughts that blooming in her head. Frightening isn't it?

"I'm literally screwed…" Kyonko had waterfall tears.

The day of the shooting! We are looking at the scene where Kyonko is about to be raped by Itsuko who, happens to have a bag filled with BDSM equipment and an evil smile on her face.

"Go ahead, scream, no one's going to hear you." Itsuko said with that smile.

The door behind Itsuko closed. We then turn to the fight between Kyon and the Nagatos. The Nagatos delivered the double Nagato Chop, with Kyon taking the full blow of the attack. He then used the medical energy which had special effects. The special effect was actually an explosion a he scattered into the air, again.

"And it ended with another explosion." Haruki said with a sigh.

Be sure to tune in next time for the next episode of Gift of the Maid 2! Wait… Nevermind, it's been cancelled.