Numb. It's the only word I can really think of to describe this feeling. Not angry. Not sad. Betrayed? Confused? No. It's literally like a void opened up in my chest and just took away my ability to have a reaction. Was this how full Winter Fey always felt? How Ash felt before he got sucked into Hell and was fighting for his life? If so then it doesn't feel so bad. It would be worse than the misery that I knew I would be going through. I suppose that I did feel a little bit betrayed. At first I wanted to save Riley. Thank her. But now I have something else in mind. Or was she just trying to get me to hate her so I wouldn't risk my life for her?

Yes. That's it. It has to be why those letters are so…dark. She was fine the first one. Why wouldn't she be now? I have to believe that she's lying. If I don't then something feels like it might snap. I can't tell what it is, but it feels important. And, hey, I'll do just as Miranda, my X-box friend, always did. Don't feel, just drift, go through the motions and pretend like it doesn't hurt until it doesn't. Seems like the right thing to do. Feeling is just not appealing right now.

I lay on my bed, clutching the letters tightly in my hand. The glamour around them shifted with each word that was read. It was how Riley had felt, because these papers are now Tokens. But they're mine. No one else is going to get them. Not even when I'm dead and gone. That last letter changed my mind, though. I'm not going to wait another second to go and save them. I can't. Ash and Rowan are now my top priority. Sage will be there when I'm in Hell so I'll get him then.

Tiaothin jumped through the doors and landed on the side of my bed, clutching her arm and bleeding. She looked panicked and dicked down next to my bed. I turned and looked blankly down at her. She looked up and said, "I couldn't get away from Sage."

Just then, Sage, now in black clothes, ran through my door and charged for Tiaothin who cringed. It hit me. She was looking for my protection. She wanted me to stop him. I suppose that I owe it to her. If she hadn't taken his attention then I probably might have been running still. I move in front of the wounded Phooka and stare down at him; cold and uncaring.

Then there is Sage, who was going to hide those letters from me and never let me know just what was happening to Ash and Rowan if she wasn't lying. Even if she is then they're most likely not having a good time. I need to know.

Sage stops, his sword softly radiating blue and throwing mist into the air. His green eyes flash with anger, something I've never seen on him. "What are you doing?" He looks at me and waits.

My arms tense to fight. Blankly, peering into the depths of his eyes, I step forward until he puts his sword down we're inches apart. "What am I doing? What are you doing hiding my mail from me?" Sage's eyes grow big.

"She gave them to you?" His steady glare goes to Tiaothin again. "Tiaothin,-"

I move in front of his eyes again. "No. I took them." He had no reason to hurt her anymore then he did. I may be going to save him but he will not hurt someone who aided me in getting a clear picture of what was going on to both of our brothers. "I was in your room. So don't blame her for something she didn't do. And I want to know why you didn't give me those letters to begin with, Sage."

Sage didn't speak. Shuffling came from behind us and the smell of blood wafted through the air. It made me hungry. It was tempting to turn around and forget, but Sage and the letters are far more important to deal with.

"Well?"

He looked down at my hand, the one that held the papers. After a moment he looked back up at me and sheathed his sword. Sage looked at Tiaothin. "Leave us, Tiaothin." In a moment she hobbled out the door and disappeared, closing the door behind her. There we stared each other down, neither willing to back away and admit weakness. He still smelled like body odors instead of cloves, his favorite. So Tiaothin had kept him plenty busy.

I pressed, "It's my place to know."

"I had not given those letters to you because you need to focus on your training. If you read those letters then I feared you would have left before you were ready. If you left then you would be killed. We haven't even gotten through half of the things we need to cover, and at the pace we're at then we might never get to finish before I'm taken as well.

"Now, answer a question of mine. Why were you in my room?" His face goes back to that business like set and his body posture relaxes.

Crap. My head searches for an excuse but I can't do it fast enough. He looked at me expectantly, waiting just as I had done for him. One thing was for sure; I am not telling him about the bath tub, but by the look in his eye he already suspected. That was the answer he wanted. My cheek throbbed, reminding me why I was in there.

"Because," I start slowly, trying to give myself more time to think. "I want to inform you that if I don't improve by the time that Duke Salem's house is rebuilt then Mother promised that I would not be breathing. So we should get started on training."

Sage pressed his questions. "If you had wanted to inform me of our situation," His eyes tighten a fraction, "then why were you under my bed? Why would you not just wait outside of my room and knock?"

"You didn't knock when you came into my room. So what makes you think I have to knock before entering your room?"

My thoughts flick to Revan, and what really happened when we kissed. I didn't exactly try to push him off when he kissed me. Instead I welcomed his warm touch and was the one who let it get as far as it did. He was the one to pull away, not me. If I didn't stop him then why should he have? Besides the fact that something in me wanted to do it I had to admit that it felt good.

"Crystal," He began, snapping my attention back to the present conversation. Where my attention should be and not off replaying the memory in my head for no less then amusement.

"You did not knock first. It is only courteous to do so and since you did not knock first then I assumed that you would not mind the same treatment. And you didn't answer my question. Why were you hiding underneath my bed?"

I bit my lip, not willing to tell a lie. The numb feeling crept back slowly and caused me to drop all expression from view. The feeling was calm and made it impossible to care to do anything. But even if I didn't care about answering a question I still had to or it would be impolite and the Fey take insults and rudeness as a deep, long lasting offence. Not saying anything would be worse than saying the truth, I think. But explaining why I was in his bath would be worse than the both of them combined. I have to decide which one is worse and which one will be less painful to do.

Mimicking my tone Sage asks, "Well?"

The doors bust open, crashing into the room and sending shards of the Ice door into my room and hitting Sage in the back. Sage flew forward and smashed into me, taking me across the room with him. We land on the floor and he lay beside me with shards of ice sticking out of his back and dark blood blossoming out of the wounds. He jumped up faster than I could go and spun, ignoring the injuries on his body, and drawing his sword again.

I moved my body for a moment to assess the damage done. Only the pain of being smashed into and being crushed by my older brother lingered. A monstrous roar stole my attention next. But it didn't come from the door. Instead it came from the balcony. I stand up as fast and I could and turn, not believing my eyes for a second.

Bright fiery eyes stared us down, a long scaly neck that bore deep shredded scars carries the monstrous head and four wings carried its scrawny body. I quaked with fear, but the fear wasn't for me. It was for Sage. This was the demon that had tried to take Ash the first time. I had thrown a spear into its ear so we could escape, but we would have died if the Jabberwocky hadn't come and attacked it. With no spear and no Jabberwocky I feared that I'm not going to be able to stop it from taking Sage and burning me.

I needed to get him out of here and fast. But something was at the door, probably blocking that exit as well. I turn and look for Sage.

Sage was facing a lone black figure with a delicate frame. It was shorter then both of us and feminine enough to pass for a woman. But her skin was charred and black, glowing like an ember from a fire. The creature's hair smoked out behind her in long curls, vanishing in its own motions before it restarts at the base of her skull. Its glowing red eyes, surrounded by black, gazed at Sage with hunger. It's soft, burned voice speaks at him.

"Sage," It croons. "Come to your new home and meet your brothers." She laughs hysterically, getting a nonexistent punch line. Something about her was familiar and sickening.

Sage lunges at her with his razor sharp sword, aiming to slice her head off. The girl instantly stops laughing and ducks, disappearing into smoke. Sage stumbled when his sword didn't make the target, but he wasn't surprised. He swung his sword at something behind him, but nothing was there. Above him, the girl appeared again. Her long, pointed claws that were each as long at her forearm and as skinny as needles, flashed bright orange at the tips. The girl was dropping down on him, ready to plunge her talons into his skin.

I begin to shout a warning and spin to grab a weapon off of my dresser, but it was too late. The girl landed on his back and tossed his sword away. She picked him up and ran for the monster. I grabbed the daggers and threw them. They flipped through the air, one missing and clattering to the floor, the other sinking into the girls back.

It didn't stop her. She winced and jumped off of the balcony, landing on the snout of the monsters head. I sprint to the window and grab the dagger, listening to the sound of beating wings get farther and farther away. Once at the very edge of the balcony I see the giant monster flying away in the dark, headed for a large fiery portal at the edge of the city. Below people screamed and threw things at it, the guard mobilized and firing arrows at the beast's underbelly and protecting the citizens that helped destroy the beast with no luck.

My eyes fogged with tears. Another failure to protect someone. "Dammit." I whisper.

"Crystal!" Mom shrieked loudly, everything in the Winter Territory freezing beyond the point of no return.

I winced, and turned.

Mom stood in the doorway, her eyes black and her elegant face twisted into an ugly snarl of rage, looking completely inhuman. She pointed a white finger at me and marched forward. "You are the one responsible for this!" She claimed. "You stole my children from me!"

Trembling, I stepped forward and knelt, my face going to the floor so I wouldn't have to see her face as she screamed at me. This was it. She was going to kill me here, on this very spot. I would never get the chance to save my brothers. They're going to suffer for eternity because she is going to kill me for something I couldn't do anything to prevent.

That feeling of something ready to snap came back. It calmed all other feelings and distractions, calling my attention to it rather than the very real threat in front of me. From deep within me the feeling came, from within my essence. It throbbed with a dark power and was the thin ice that kept me from falling into an abyss. Something about this very moment was important.

Mom stopped in front of me, carrying the Scepter of the Seasons. "I should have killed you when you were born. All you ever did for me was get my beloved sons killed, you useless parasite. If I had left you in the Mortal World then you would never have bothered me and you would have rotted into nonexistence. Just like it should have been." I was about to agree. But I stopped myself.

No. It snapped, releasing a flood of the dark substance into me. It worked its way through my system, boiling my blood and hollowing me. The heavy feeling of everything vanished. I no longer felt obligated to please Mab. I no longer felt obligated to save my brothers. All I want is blood. The blood of those I had cared about before I came here. And that blood is in Riley's head.

Mabs cruel voice cracked again. "I am not going to kill you. Death is too good for you." Her power swirled in the air around us, building. She couldn't hide the smile in her voice, believing that she terrified me like she had done the last time. "You will feel the suffering I feel. Then you will breath once more." Mab promised.

Rising to my feet, the dark energy swirled around me. I looked into her black eyes, black eyes that looked just like mine, and bared my fangs at her. "No. You are a liar." The joy from her face faded and was replaced with rage. "If you cared for your sons at all then you wouldn't take away the only chance you have to see them again."

"How dare you? I am your Queen. How dare you call me a liar!" She rasped and the power around her pushed forward, wrapping me in layers and freezing its self into solid ice. The ice filled my mouth and nose, freezing my legs still and encasing me in ice.

Alright! Another 2,500 word chapter! Back to hitting my normal mark but I think I want to start making it 3,000. Ah, who knows? Merry late Christmas! Hope you all enjoyed Jesus's birthday!

And please let it be known that The Host, by the author of the Twilight series, is amazing! Way better than Twilight because there is an actual plot to the story besides love.