Chapter Eleven – Show me who you are

Kyoko looked up at her fiancé as he came into the room. She knew he was nervous about something, but she was scared what it would be. She was glad that he had allowed her to move in with him though, this way she got to see all the different sides of Kuon Hizuri.

"So," Kuon said nervously, "There's something that I'm not telling you," he said as she watched him pace back and forth. "I probably should have…"

"Okay." Kyoko nodded wondering if he was going to tell her that he had a third identity, or was it fourth. "What is it?" she looked at him trying to calculate everything from the way he was moving to the different tones in his voice to his eyes.

"My parents are coming to visit. As soon as they knew that Japan accepted me as Kuon Hizuri, my dad booked up flights to come out here. I was in such a shock, I haven't seen my parents for a long time or at least my mother, and…" Kuon looked up to see Kyoko's huge excited grin.

"Kuu's coming?" she asked excitedly, "Father's coming to visit that's so exciting. I'll have to make sure to get him all the food that he needs and I get to meet Julienna as well?" Kyoko seemed to levitate over to him in her excitement. "Are you sure I look okay to see them?"

"You're fine," Kuon laughed. "I don't know who's more excited, you or them," he smiled to her before feeling her hug him.

"I'm so proud to be engaged to their son, do you think she'll like me?" Kyoko asked nervously.

"She'll love you as much as my dad does. I don't think anyone could love you as much as I do though," he grinned to her as Kyoko felt her excitement light up her whole body. Kuu was coming!

….

….

"I am so sorry about before, father" Kyoko bowed to her father in law as they stood outside Kuon's hospital room. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt and I needed to make sure he didn't get hurt as well. I am so very sorry," she apologized.

Kuu smiled and placed a comforting hand on her head, "You do know that you never have to apologize to me," he told her. "I'm so glad you're alright, Kyoko. In case I haven't said that I am so relieved that you're not dead and you're here with us. Maybe my attention has been too focused o-"

"Father," Kyoko said as she looked up at him. "I would have been disappointed in you if your attention had not been towards Kuon. I have always known you to be an adoring father and he has needed you. I slightly remember him offering his life but only at the exchange of my own. That is someone noble and deserving of your care. I would have been very disappointed in you had you not shown such care and concern."

Kuu blinked before nodding, "You are always so direct and honest. I've always admired that about you," he said before hugging her. As he ended the hug, he looked at her, "He's okay with seeing me right?"

"Father, I think that he would be thrilled to see you. You need to take into account his injuries however, the deep burns and bruises and gashes and stab wounds have been bandaged up but you need to control your emotions when the bandages are removed." She looked down and took a deep breath, "If because of you, Kuon is ashamed of his appearance, I will not allow you to see him again."

Kuu nodded with a light smile, "I promise. I love my son dearly, you don't need to worry about that."

Kyoko took a step away from the door, she knew that Kuon had asked to speak to Kuu privately, she just hoped that it would be for a good reason. She hoped that whatever conversation the two of them shared, that it would be a good one with benefits on both side.

Inside the room, Kuu made soft steps over to his sleeping son. He could already see the charred hair next to one of the bandages where he was assuming there was a burn. He could see how much stress his son had been under, how much trauma and as much as it broke his heart, he had to keep strong for his little boy.

He sat down opposite him, watching the struggled breaths and the nerves that came from a nightmare. He didn't know how he could get his son to forgive him for what had happened to him. He had no idea of how he could make the injuries better or make Kuon better. He just had to hope for the best.

After a while, he heard his son waking up and put down the entertainment magazine he had picked up. "D-Dad?" he heard Kuon ask and immediately, Kuu sat up straighter.

"Yes," he nodded as he saw Kuon struggle to sit up. He immediately went towards him and tried to help him settle down again, the doctor had told them to limit movement right now. "Does something hurt?" he asked with shaking hands, "Kuon, do you need me to….do you want me to do anything?" he asked knowing how his son never wanted to be seen as helpless.

"It's okay," Kuon said with a light laugh as he looked at his father. "C-can I ask you something?" he asked as he tried to roll to his back a little bit.

Kuu felt his body tense but then he let it go and his face softened, "Sure," he nodded, "you can ask me anything you want."

Kuu tried to calm his mind, he was scared of what his son would ask him. He was never expecting the question that did exit Kuon's lips.

"Did you ever love me?" Kuon asked as Kuu's eyes snapped open.

"Of course I love you," he said looking down to try to steady himself. "I mean, I don't think I ever managed to show you how much I love you, have always loved you, will always love you. Kuon, you are one of the two most important people in my life. If I could have done anything for you I would have, that's why I asked for you to have a chance in Japan. I have always loved my son, no matter what he did or what he went through. I love you. I've loved you since the time I was told that I was going to be a father, I loved you when I first held you in my arms. I loved you when I brought you up. I loved you when all of that trouble happened during your teenage years. I loved you as Ren Tsuruga and I love you now.

You're not insane. You may be bent or out of shape right now, but I don't consider you to be unable to live the life you want. I always have belief in my son, my one and only biological son." Kuu looked down depressed, "Have I done something to make you question that and not believe it anymore?"

Kuon closed his eyes, "I was just…they told me that I…that in your mind I was your worst mistake," he admitted.

Kuu looked at his son horrified, so the people who had tortured him, put him through this living hell had said that to him. They had tried to convince him of that. He didn't really know what to say.

"I value you and being your father much more than I value being an actor," Kuu said. He hoped that since his son had followed in the same profession that he would understand that. "I would rather have my acting career fail than lose my son."

"Even if I am crazy?" Kuon asked as he looked at his hand again.

Kuu reached out and held the hand which made Kuon look at him instead. "You are my son. You will always be my son. I will always love my son. Even if you are different inside, even if your brain has been altered to a degree where it won't return to normal, even if you have lost confidence in yourself, please remember those two things. You, Kuon Hizuri, are the son of Kuu Hizuri and Julienna Hizuri. We, and I can speak for both of us, will always love our son."

"D-D-Dad," Kuon whispered as he felt tears in his eyes, "I am really sorry."

Before Kuu could open his mouth to argue, Kuon managed to speak again. "I'm scared. I am really scared, my brain isn't…acting normally and I'm acting. I'm acting that I'm okay." He looked up, "I'm not okay. I'm terrified to let Kyoko know though. I'm terrified that at some point, acting like I am okay will be too hard and she'll see the ways in which I've changed."

"So you're saying, right now you're still trying to act?" Kuu asked. He had seen his son crack before but he had just thought that he had clicked back to normal. Still, this made sense. It made sense that he had gotten violent and then gone through some kind of catatonia before seeming perfectly fine. It was because right now it was an act and Kuu was scared to see what was underneath."

"If I stop acting," Kuon said before giving that little giggle, "Then I'll be alone."

Kuu took a deep breath in, he had to face the fear of what Kuon had become or rather who he had become. He knew that his son had a lot of self-control and the fact that that giggle had happened again only showed the fight that Kuon was going through inside. "Kuon, I need you to look at me," he said strongly as he saw his son nod nervously. "I understand that you're scared of other people seeing you break, of seeing you lose your sanity, but I promise that I will take care of you. You can show me all of the unstableness inside your mind and I will still be here. I will make sure that you don't hurt yourself or anyone else. I promise, I will not let you be alone so just rely on me, alright? Even if you don't tell Kyoko, which I think you should since I believe she'd understand, rely on me. I'll make sure that you're safe and do my best to make sure you're as happy and healthy as possible."

"A-and if they take me away again?" Kuon asked as Kuu could see him letting that fear and the post traumatic stress come out a little more. "I can't go there…"

"Kuon, I promise you. I will not let them take you away again. I am not going to let you be alone. Look at me, you are my son, I have the honor of taking care of you. Over my dead body are they going to take you again," Kuu said with a deep breath in.

"I…" Kuon said nervously, "want to go back to America."

Kuu nodded as he looked down. He knew that his son needed to stay at the hospital until they felt confident enough in him to release him. He knew that it would take time, but at the same time he could set things up. Make sure to get the security and help that his son needed. Right now, no matter what Kuon asked him, if it was for his son's own good he would do it.

"You should tell Kyoko. I can back you up on it, but I doubt that she'll argue. We all want what is best for you," Kuu said. "Kuon, you trust me right? You trust me that I want to protect you and take care of you? You know that I love you, don't you?" he asked nervously. He knew that before all of this happened his son was fully confident in those facts, but Kuu didn't know how much brain washing had taken place during his kid's captivity.

"I do, you're my dad. You've always been my hero," Kuon nodded as he closed his eyes.

"I will never let anyone hurt you like this again. I promise," Kuu said with the same determination in his eyes that both of his children had carried.