A/N: I fiddled, a lot, once I got this back from my betas, so any mistakes are wholly mine. They rock. Also, ffn has screwed the formatting all to hell, and I'm not wasting another hour trying to fix it. Sorry.
Where we left off: Alice got Bella drunk and they sang fabulously mushy girl songs all night. Bella woke up and felt like three day old horse shit. Spending the morning in town with Edward wasn't helping with the feeling better thing. Finding out the clothes Alice lent her were his hand-me-downs definitely made the nausea worse. But in a good way? Edward rather enjoyed the sight. The ride to town was fun for all involved; Bella flipped her shit and told Edward exactly why he got a right hook for kissing her. Edward decided to be smart and go with it. He even said he was sorry... no, he almost did, but wigged about being in her truck? He's weird, Bella's sure about that if nothing else, but he's pretty too, so she's let that pass. For the moment. She's really just too hungover to deal with His Evil Gorgeousness right now. Thankfully, he headed off to the bookstore once they reached town and Bella was given a brief respite from his intense presence. And those damn eyes (the 'exact color of the sky in heaven' anyone?). Who doesn't love a good drunken revelation that comes back to bite you in the ass, repeatedly?
CHAPTER 10
Edward stepped through the door of the bookstore and back into the bright afternoon sun. He stood there a moment, blinking against the sharp light, letting his eyes acclimate again. He'd spent the better part of two hours in Took's Books, though it seemed more like months. Or perhaps no time at all; bookstores always left him with a wonderfully disoriented feeling. Stepping into one was like entering another world, a thousand other worlds, where time was a flexible thing. He loved losing himself in the stacks, surrounded by the smell of paper and binding glue. It was a rich smell, slightly dusty and oddly comforting. Whatever troubles hounded him in the outside world were unable to follow him into a good book. It was an escape he'd always loved; one he'd counted on to keep him sane during his time in the desert.
While it had kept him from losing his mind then, it hadn't kept a single thought away while he was in Took's. He'd skimmed titles, flipped pages, picked up copies to buy, and thought about her. Thought about what the hell was going on with him thinking about her all the time. Wondering why it was so important to him that she believe he was truly sorry for kissing her. Hiding behind the lie, because he wasn't a bit sorry for kissing her, just for making her think she was less than. And wrapped through all of it, the slightest bit of shame and embarrassment in knowing she was completely right to see it the way she did. She wasn't just a quick fuck, someone to alleviate the boredom and nightmares of his days and nights. Remembering how she'd gotten in his face, her own red and furious, and put him in his place, made him chuckle. She was hiding quite a bit under that quiet exterior, it seemed.
She's going to need every ounce of whatever she's hiding to get through this.
The words old Mrs. West had said ran on a loop through his mind, randomly interspersed with images of Bella. Bella, tired and worn down from trying to stay on top of all the work, not cut out for... Bella's shoulders tense and straight under the weight of her problems, too stubborn... Her eyes too ancient for her age, such a shame... The immensity of what she was trying to accomplish, all on her own, was enough to make his own heart lean towards pity.
And if Bella had the slightest clue I even thought about her and pity at the same time, she'd likely try to land another one on my jaw.
She didn't need anyone's pity, much less his. His thoughts had run from the sad hopelessness of her situation to the sheer strength of will she had. Not many would have picked up the pieces and poured themselves into sticking them back together, not with other, easier alternatives just waiting to be taken. Tough wasn't even close- she was absolutely incredible.
He hadn't noticed Old Took, current owner of the family's bookstore, watching him from behind the desk, smiling as he watched Edward's grin come and go. Edward didn't know he was grinning; he was thinking about Bella again. The way she held her back straight no matter what people said, how she'd tell Rosalie about finishing some task or another at the ranch, damn near falling down with exhaustion and still smiling like a sunrise.
"Hello there, young mister Cullen. What treasures have you discovered this fine day?"
Took had been one of Edward's favorite people as a child. He was oddly formal for a small town inhabitant, and the cadence of his words seemed out of place in the world Edward lived in. People were more likely to call him Eddie, which he hated, than 'young mister Cullen'. Those things, and the name Took, had given Edward many thoughtful hours. Obviously Took was a hobbit, misplaced in a tiny Montana bookstore by some higher power. Maybe even Gandolf himself. It had taken a much younger Edward all of three months to work up the nerve to ask if Took could send him to the Shire somehow. Took had merely given him a look from beneath his bushy brows, and the barest beginning of a smile; it was enough for Edward to believe in his magic.
"A little bit of everything, I think."
Edward smiled as Took thumbed through his selections, murmuring quietly under his breath. Figuring out who each book was for was part of his magic.
"Hmm, this is Alice, and she'll certainly be thrilled. As will your mother when she sees this, and oh! You really are a bit too smart for your own good, aren't you my boy? Miss Hale will be quite happy with this one."
Edward nodded in silent agreement as Took continued his perusal.
"And this has Emmett written all over it. Why, I remember when he would come in every Saturday, searching for the newest ones." His words trailed off into a low chuckle and Edward couldn't help but smirk; he was rather proud of the book he'd found Emmett.
"Mmm, this will be Carlisle, no doubt, and that new ranch hand you brought back with you certainly seems the type for this one. What was his name again? Oh yes, Jasper. Rather old-fashioned name, that one. Fitting, yes?"
Took rambled on, more to himself than Edward, but his thick, gnarled fingers were steady as he tapped the buttons of the ancient register. When he reached the last one, he paused with his eyes squinted, half-moon glasses sliding down his nose a bit. Edward knew he was trying to figure out who the last book was for and waited patiently for the old man to ask.
"This one though, this is a bit, ah, different. Than your usual, that is."
Glancing up at Edward then back at the book he held, Took thumbed through the pages gently, pausing to read from one.
"If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that-warm things, kind things, sweet things-help and comfort and laughter-and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all."
Took stared down at the book for a moment, then looked at Edward; gone was the slightly foggy, magical man from his childhood. He was suddenly replaced by a hawk, his gaze sharp and far-seeing.
"This is quite a gift, young mister Cullen. Not one to be given lightly, if I may say so."
Edward heard what was beneath his words, the careful warning and a deeper understanding.
"You sure you're not from the Shire? Maybe old Gandolf's long lost cousin?"
Took wheezed out a laugh and put the books in a bag for Edward.
"I'll never tell, my boy. I'll never tell."
Swinging his bag of books against his leg as he started back towards Bella's truck, Edward remained lost in thought. Which meant lost in Bella; he'd thought of little else for days. He was starting to get used to the amount of time she was on his mind. Obviously because she was an attractive woman, one he'd grown up next to, and a close friend of the family. A woman who was desperately in need of help and too damn stubborn to ask for it.
If she would just see that, realize that people want to help her, not out of pity but because...
Because why, exactly?
He stopped walking abruptly, the sharp angles of the books digging into his leg as the bag swung back against him. He'd thought plenty about the why not; she wasn't a town girl looking for a quick roll in the hay, she was practically a family member, it wasn't right. He'd been going about things all wrong he realized then, and started walking again, a smile stretched across his face.
He'd offered to help her before, but then things had gotten... crazy... and kissing her just then was definitely not the right choice. Of course she wasn't going to accept his help when she thought he was trying to get in her pants, or because he pitied her. But if he could convince her it was because she was a friend of the family, that the two of them were friends... If he was a friend he wouldn't have to take no for an answer.
Friends. Bella. And me. Friends?
Was that what he wanted? To be Bella's friend; that didn't sound too bad at all. Choosing to ignore the fact that he wanted at all where she was concerned, he waved absently at the bank manager who worked with Carlisle on the ranch finances. Bella's ugly truck was just visible at the end of the block so he slowed his step slightly, giving himself more time to get things straight in his head.
I'll apologize to her for... whatever that was on the Hill, and then I'll convince her there's no reason we can't be friends, because there's not. Not really. Friends probably imagine each other naked from time to time, especially friends of the opposite sex.
His eyes stared into the middle distance as he let that one simmer for a moment; Bella naked would be a sight to be appreciated, of that he was certain.
Friends! Not naked friends, fully clothed friendly friends. I can be her friend and convince her to let me help he with the ranch.
The solution seemed obvious, easy now that he'd dedicated time to it. And he really just wanted to help her, because she needed it and deserved it. It had nothing to do with the curl of excitement spreading through his stomach at the thought of seeing her every day, working side by side, seeing her smile, maybe even at him...
Friends. Say you're sorry and make nice. Easy as pie.
His satisfaction at such a perfect plan carried him the last few feet towards Bella's truck, still parked in front of Joe's, now with a bed full of supplies. Watching her brace her feet to sling one of the heavier bags over the side and into the back, Edward repeated friends once more in his mind.
"Easy as pie," he murmured under his breath as he reached her. Tossing his bag in through the open passenger window he stepped next to her, intending to take it from her.
Go easy here, the girl's got pride in spades.
Stepping back again, he opened the tailgate instead, watching as she set the bag down with a grunt, the muscles in her arms and shoulders flexing.
Edward whistled lightly in appreciation.
"No wonder my face felt like it hit a brick wall. Nice guns, Swan."
She turned to face him and he waited for the inevitable outburst. Instead she smiled, a small wicked turn of her lips.
Always a surprise, Bella.
"Damn straight, Cullen, and don't you forget it."
Grinning back at her Edward said, "Don't worry, I won't. The last time a girl hit me was in the fourth grade, and she had nothing on your right hook."
Bella's smile faltered, then slid off her face.
"Jessica Stanley."
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"God, and Lauren Mallory. Fantastic."
Following her gaze over his shoulder Edward turned to see the two women hovering a few feet behind him.
"Ladies."
His smile, so easy with Bella, threatened to slip even as he fought to keep it on his face.
Jessica's hair looked oddly damp and clung to her face in a rather unflattering way as she simpered. Lauren looked like she always did, some sort of freakish cross between a Barbie doll and a Stepford Wife. It was eerie how she never had a hair out of place, chipped nail polish, or scuffs on her shiny shoes. The smirk on her face was part and parcel the whole off-putting image she presented, at least to Edward.
"Edward."
Somehow she managed to leer the word at him, making his name feel a little unclean. He took the hand she extended with the very tips of his fingers, giving them a slight shake before releasing them quickly. If she was expecting some gallant hand kissing routine she was pathetically mistaken.
"And Bella, you poor thing. How are you?"
Lauren's tone was like sour honey, oozing false understanding and sympathy as she turned to Bella. Her heeled shoes gave her the perfect height advantage to look haughtily down her nose. Without waiting for an answer, a good thing judging by the look on Bella's face, she dismissed her and turned back to Edward.
"So, I understand the date for the garden party has been set?"
Edward's smile slipped closer to a grimace as he answered, "Yes, Saturday, three weeks from now."
Jessica's voice piped up from her place at Lauren's elbow. Edward had always hated that voice, all breathy and little girl excitement. It would have been bad enough had Jessica purposely done it to attempt some form of sexiness but it was worse somehow that she'd been born with it. It was like she'd turned six and her voice stopped maturing with the rest of her.
Ironic, that, as the rest of her couldn't seem to wait to mature.
Trying to forget his obsession with Jessica (or rather, her suddenly blooming breasts) during his middle school years, he focused on her words.
"Oh I just can't wait! Esme always outdoes herself! Why, I was just saying to Lauren the other day..."
Lauren didn't seem to enjoy Jessica's voice any more than he did; she jumped in quickly to talk over her "friend". Edward wasn't certain if the title really applied; from the way Jessica followed Lauren around she was more like "lapdog". He was going to go with poodle.
"Yes, it is always magical. Perhaps, if you'd like some worthwhile company, Edward?"
She let the scorn drip from her voice as she glanced down at Bella, obviously less than worthwhile companionship for Edward in her estimation, then trailed off with a suggestive look, going so far as to run one too long nail down Edward's bare forearm.
God, she's about as subtle as a kick to the balls. It's disgusting. Thank whatever force kept my dick out of that.
Silently, Bella had taken everything in with a steely glare, arms crossed over her chest, one hip cocked out angrily. She looked ready to start scrapping, right there in the street in front of Joe's, but she surprised Edward again. Snorting and shaking her head she turned to get into the truck.
An idea hit Edward and before he even finished thinking it he was sending up a quick prayer (please don't hit me again Bella), and moving into action. Putting one arm out to stop her, he grabbed her shoulder and turned her around again. Pulling her into his side and leaving his arm across her shoulder, he hoped it looked like a friendly gesture, one that two people who'd grown up together would be comfortable with.
"That's a very kind offer Lauren, but I already have a date, thanks."
His voice sounded perfectly casual, which was amazing considering he was suddenly, physically aware of all things Bella. The way she fit snugly, perfectly against his side, tucked under his arm like she'd been shaped to fit him, or he to fit her. The bare skin of her shoulder beneath his palm, hot from the sun and soft, so soft. He wanted to run his hand up and down her arm, searching out every available inch of exposed flesh to see if all of it felt the same. A few pieces of her dark hair lifted in a breath of breeze and two or three of them stuck themselves to the stubble beneath his chin. There was no reason it should have felt incredibly intimate; it was just hair. But he could imagine it, those few strands multiplied into many as he buried his face in it, let it cover him as she lay over him, pushing it away to see her face as she reached...
Fuck. Focus. Friends. Three "f"'s, small enough words even for the only brain that's doing any thinking right now to understand. Friends.
Bella tensed a little as Edward's implication sunk in, tilting her head just a little to catch his eye with a question. He hoped she understood what he was doing, and why; he certainly didn't. She smirked again and let herself relax just a bit against him, cocking her head to the side so that her ear rested against his chest. They looked like good friends, comfortable around each other with so many years between them; nothing more.
Nothing more than friends, Edward thought, and ignored his sense of disappointment.
When given the choice between being insulted by a woman who was almost positively not smarter than a fifth grader, with breathy interjections from another woman with a fifth grader's voice, and waiting in the stifling hot truck for them to finish verbally gangbanging Edward... The choice seemed obvious. There was no need to attempt some sort of witty sparring with Lauren in the style of polite social insults; any attempt at subtlety was lost on the her. And Bella had more respect for herself than to start a fight in the middle of town with some trampy poodle.
I could just tap that pointy little jaw once, just barely, just enough to make her stop talking. But what a waste of effort. And energy. No, not today. And what's with all this violence? I've never had so much face punching in my life before, acted on or not.
She'd only taken a step away when something stopped her, turning her back towards the tepid blonds. Edward's hand was on her shoulder, pulling her towards him, and before her body could react she was snug against his side, from hip to head. The instantaneous rush of tingles and flutters took over as her position sunk in, but something else followed it, new and different.
She felt calmed in some way, or comforted maybe. Her pulse was jumping and picking up speed, but a soothing undertow of peace ran beneath it. Suddenly she wasn't standing on her own two feet, she was leaning against someone else; the mental relief she felt almost outweighed the physical reactions his touch caused..
Maybe there's something to the whole 'lean on your friends' thing after all.
Edward left his arm across her shoulder, the tips of his fingers just barely brushing her skin as he spoke. Bella had never tried so hard not to shiver in sweltering heat before. Luckily Lauren's expressions of shock and dismay were funny enough to keep her mind off the way Edward's body was so... firm.
If Edward's devious eyes hadn't told her what he was up to she might have laughed out loud. As it was she knew there no reason to try and hide the grin on her face. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Looking Lauren directly in the eye she leaned in just a bit more, feeling Edward's belt press into her side, and put her own arm around his waist.
Lauren's face appeared to be melting, everything pulling down slowly, her mouth slack, chin dropped against her chest. She looked from Edward to Bella and back again, then quickly began glaring at Bella. Jessica was twittering on about what she would wear and how her hair would be done and would Esme have those darling little tea cakes again this year? Her ceaseless prattle was background noise for Bella as she stared right back at Lauren, letting her smile turn into a smirk, and knowing full well what conclusions Lauren would draw.
It didn't matter either way, in Bella's estimation. Half the town would assume she and Edward were sleeping together because they rode into town together. That was just the way of small towns and gossip mills. The rest of them would assume that either Edward's mother or father (but most likely mother, some of them would chuckle knowingly) had sent him along to help the poor little Swan girl.
If they only knew how thrilled I am to wear boots every day; whatever would I do if I had to tie shoelaces?
She couldn't help thinking sarcastic thoughts about the people who looked down on her, or worse, pitied her. It was a good release from the desire to stand on their toes and scream in their faces, pinning them in place with both her weight and her rage. Those people, the same one's who came to her parent's funeral, who went gossiping around town about how her life was falling apart like it was some kind of daytime TV soap opera. She'd envisioned herself more than once in the street with a megaphone yelling, "This is my life, you assholes!"
She always felt ridiculous about it afterward. Because it was just that: her life. None of them really cared about much beyond their own lives, and Bella couldn't really fault them for it. She was, after all, a prime example. Anything outside of her realm of responsibilities to the ranch and the men who worked for her wasn't important to her, practically didn't exist.
If Alice ever heard that she'd string me up with my own guts. I'll amend it to include the family Cullen and their various accoutrements.
Edward's fingers tensed a little on her shoulder and she realized Jessica had finally shut up and Lauren was purring in Edward's face.
"Well that is just so kind of you Edward, to invite little Bella so she wouldn't be all alone like she always is."
She appeared to be smiling, or trying really hard to, but the result was a rather macabre grimace. Bella couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped. Edward was looking at Lauren like she was a nasty disease and catching, and Bella laughed outright. When he looked down at her he smiled again and the tingly flutters started running rampant again. The combination of having Edward as a partner in crime and having Edward pressing against her so casually was a heady mix.
"Lauren, Jessica, it's been so lovely to see you both, but we have to get back to work. I'd tell you about it but I'd hate to disgust you with things as primitive and lowly as manual labor and cleaning up horse shit."
Sliding away from Edward, ignoring the pang at their loss of contact, she headed around the front of her truck to slide into the seat.
I was right, it is sweltering in here. So much better to have stood outside with Edward, pissing Lauren off. Stupid cow.
"Well, enjoy the rest of your afternoon ladies, and I'm sure I'll be thrilled to see you at the party."
Edward slid into the truck and folded his long legs in, pulling the door closed with a slam. Reaching over to tug a lock of Bella's hair, he waved through the open window as they pulled off the curb. Lauren was still standing there, Bella saw in the rearview mirror, looking for all the world like she was trying to shoot balls of fire from her eyes into the back of the retreating truck.
Bella laughed again, not holding back this time, and after watching her for a moment in silence, Edward chuckled along with her.
"Swan, I'm impressed. I didn't know you had it in you to be so-"
"Catty? Bitchy? Say whatever you want, Cullen, nothing will kill this high."
"I was going to say brilliant. That was brilliant, Bella."
Still grinning like a fool, Bella followed the road out of town and decided to enjoy the turn her day had taken.
It could really only have gone up, I suppose. Unless I planned to pull over again, scream at Edward some more and kick him out of the truck this time.
Remembering her earlier outburst cooled her joy just a bit. She'd been so sure of herself, so righteously angry at him... and it seemed so ridiculous now.
But it was necessary. He can't be allowed to just do whatever he wants and get away with it, not where I'm concerned. Of course, the prim and proper voice had to chime in with He did apologize at least. But he hadn't, not really; he'd said he wanted to apologize, just not right then.
Which makes no sense whatsoever. No wonder I want to yell at him.
"So, thanks. For... that. Back there. With them. Thanks."
Oh dear god, what is wrong with me? What happened to that easy-going thing that was just happening?
Chancing a glance to her right killed any hope that Edward hadn't heard her fumble through an easy 'thank you'. He was watching her, his upper body turned towards her, smiling hugely.
"You're welcome. I meant it though, what I said."
Bella glanced at him again then back at the road as she turned that one over in her mind.
He told them I was his date. And he meant what he said. So... what, I'm going with him as his date because he's already decided this? Because he took pity on me when the Tupperware Twins showed up? He can't even ask me?
Edward seemed to come to the same conclusion she did because he spoke again quickly, his words tumbling over one another.
"I didn't mean... if you wanted to. I mean, I was going to ask you anyways, and then... I wasn't saying that you had... because I'm sure you could be anyone's date... that wasn't what I mean...fuck."
The last word was said on an exhaled sigh as he turned to look out the window, away from her. Bella allowed herself a tight victory grin at his stuttering.
Maybe one day we'll talk to each other instead of tripping through simple sentences like idiots.
Knowing Edward was uncomfortable was enough to balance things out for Bella again. Yes, he was sex on legs, always and no matter what. He was also a genuinely nice person who wasn't all charm and practiced swagger, apparently. He couldn't be, if he was stuttering at her. It made her feel a little warm ball in her stomach, excitement and joy and playfulness, all at once.
"Since no one is apologizing- yet- let's nobody ask either, alright?"
His head whipped around to hers, a frown on his face as his mouth opened, but Bella already knew what was coming.
"I know, you're going to. Just not here, because... I don't know why, because you're strange, probably. Either way. That's fine. But I don't think I want to be not-exactly-asked to be your non-date until I get my not-yet apology. Okay?"
His frown slipping into something much more serious and thoughtful, Edward just stared at her as she drove. The moments spun out into a million infinities as Bella waited, determined not to break first. She lasted two minutes before she was too self-conscious to stay silent any longer.
"What? Are you in shock because I didn't fall all over myself to be your date or because I actually expect you to apologize at some point?"
"No. No, none of that. Bella, I think..."
"What do you think? Please, I'm all ears and breathless anticipation."
Hoping her sarcasm covered her nerves Bella waited and tried not to grip the steering wheel too tight. Or breathe too fast. Or scream because if he didn't say something soon she was going to lose her mind.
"What are you doing for the rest of the day?"
Two hours later they were both drenched in sweat and heaving in lungfuls of air with great, gasping breaths. Edward's words came out on every exhale, and sweat gleamed at his temples.
"God... damn... Swan."
"Yeah. Told you... don't underestimate... these guns."
They eyed each other as they tried to calm their breathing, Bella reaching up to swipe a hand across her forehead.
"Not so bad... yourself... Cullen."
He smiled as he straightened, putting two hands behind his back and leaning into them, causing a series of tiny pops and one loud crack.
"Ah god, that was..."
"Yeah."
Bella stretched her shoulders and grabbed her water bottle, tipping it back. No more than two drops of water touched her parched tongue and she glared at Edward as he twisted back and forth, trying to elicit more pops from his bones.
"You drank my water? What was wrong with yours?"
"I drank it. Besides, yours was colder."
That's the smile he's had since he was five and didn't want to get in trouble. No wonder he hardly ever did.
"Whatever, Cullen. Anyways, thanks for your help. I couldn't have done that in less than six hours, but two extra hands makes a big difference."
"Yeah, well. I told you I'd help."
When Edward had asked what she was doing for the rest of the day, Bella had no idea what to say. She hadn't made any actual plans, figuring on some problem or another making itself known within minutes of her return home. No need to plan to do something when another thing would pop up needing her urgent attention. So when he'd asked, she'd searched her mind frantically for something that sounded planned and necessary, and would take up most of her afternoon. Just in case he had any more 'walks' in mind.
She'd told him she was going clear out the attic, a daunting task she'd been putting off for years. Her folks had used it as a catch-all sort of storage, and Bella had gotten into the habit of using it for the same thing. Clothes that didn't fit, lamps that were broken (but fixable! Renee's voice always chimed in), ugly Christmas presents, school papers from elementary school, a few chairs of indeterminate origin... all had found a cramped and dusty home in the Swan attic. It was a waste of space, and Bella had been thinking about just chucking it all since her parent's died. But then she'd feared she would run across something, some little oddity from Renee's pack rat days, and that wall would break and she'd drown in loss all over again. It wasn't that she felt sentimental about any of it (she and Charlie had both believed junk was junk) but that her mother had felt sentimental about all of it. Just knowing how Renee's face would light up when she stumbled across some horrible drawing from Bella's third grade art class and start waxing poetic about how talented her little Bumblebee was, even as a child... It would break her. And Bella wasn't in the mood to wallow in it again. Maybe never. It was just too hard to deal with now.
So she'd told Edward she was cleaning out her attic and he'd offered to help her. Part of my apology, he'd said, and he'd looked so earnest about helping her she'd agreed. It was crazy, but she doubted there were many who'd be able to resist that look on Edward's face. Seeing his grown man's face wearing the beguiling hope of a child was a lethal combination. Maybe it would help her stay on task, and at least she wouldn't have to personally handle half of it now.
She'd gone in like a hurricane, pulling things from everywhere within her reach and tossing them down the stairs and into the large crates Harry had brought in lieu of trashcans. Edward had watched her for a minute, then joined her, clearing knick-knacks and loose papers off the larger pieces of furniture.
Moving those had been the last thing they'd done, and Bella was truly thankful Edward had been there to help her. There was no way she could have moved half of it by herself, much less maneuvered it down the steps and out of the house. Edward made a few gently teasing remarks when she first helped, grabbing the opposite side of an ancient table that felt like it was made of solid rock and weighed a ton. When she'd just lifted her side up and waited in silence for him to lift his, then taken the downside as they moved it down the stairs, he'd shut up. Bella figured he'd finally come to respect the muscles she had hidden in her otherwise scrawny arms. It made her feel an irrational amount of pride to be able to hold her own during the heavy lifting.
Watching Edward do heavy lifting made her feel irrationally turned on. His tee shirt was ringed with sweat and pulled taut across his shoulders as he lifted and tugged and pulled on a bookshelf. She stopped long enough to take in the sight of him, feet braced and shoulders down as he tried to move it. His shirt rode up his back to show a few inches of tanned, sweaty skin and the elastic band of his underwear.
Hmm, boxer briefs maybe? I'll file that away for later contemplation.
She'd decided she was a genius at thinking on the spot and deciding on this task and gave his ass a silent toast with her water bottle before she went back to work.
Two hours later they had just lugged the last thing, a beastly, unwieldy sofa shaped like a kidney bean, down the stairs. It had taken twice as long as anything else because they kept having to stop, turn it, adjust it, scoot forward a few inches, then turn it again. By the time they'd reached the bottom of the stairs and set it down, Bella's arms felt like jelly and she knew her entire face was beet red from the effort.
Still shaking her empty water bottle, she watched in amusement as Edward dropped like a ragdoll onto the sofa they'd just moved. He was about two feet too big for it and his arms and legs hung off and brushed the floor, but he groaned like he'd just fallen into a bed of clouds.
"Have a seat, Cullen, kick back and relax. I'm going to get us some more water since you've obviously been extremely thirsty."
She got a grunt in reply and left him to go to the kitchen. When she came back, two glasses of lemonade and a bag of cookies in hand, he hadn't moved an inch.
"Move over, slacker."
When he just grunted again Bella used her foot to knock his legs off the sofa and sat down next to him. His upper body was still on the sofa, his shirt hiked up wonderfully high, and his legs were flung haphazardly out across the floor. He resembled nothing so much as a floppy scarecrow and Bella laughed at the image of him in flannel and overalls.
Bet he'd still look good. Bastard.
Biting into a cookie and taking advantage of his closed eyes, she turned to look at him again. There was dirt and dust smudged all over his face and his hair was sticking straight out from his head like a hedgehog. His flat stomach was perfectly on display along with the narrow line of his hips, and Bella cursed herself even as she got an eyeful.
It's just not fair for a man to have such a perfect body, and be laying on my couch, and me not get anything from it. Not that I want anything, he's just too pretty and sweaty and... close. Might as well enjoy the view.
Her eyes moved up across his chest, unfortunately covered by his sweat darkened tee, to his broad, capable shoulders. She could still feel exactly what it had been like to be held against that body, beneath that shoulder.
Her eyes reached his face and traced the shadow of stubble over his chin and up his cheek, followed the lines of his strong nose to his forehead, then settled on his still-closed eyes. She knew how lethal his eyes could be when they were open, but covered with eyelids and long lashes they seemed safer somehow, gentler. It lent an innocence to his face that she realized always used to be there.
She was wondering exactly when that innocence had been replaced by whatever it was that blazed out of him sometimes, when his eyes opened and looked directly into hers. Looking away quickly, Bella held out the lemonade she'd yet to put down.
"I hope lemonade and cookies are a sufficient snack for furniture moving and attic cleaning."
He sat up, pulling his shirt straight and brushing hair off his forehead, smudging the dirt there even further.
"Thanks, it's perfect."
Taking the glass and two cookies he sat back, but didn't take his eyes of her. She tried to ignore it, talking about the things they'd found, and what she'd do with it all, and thanking him again for helping. He just answered where it was necessary and continued to watch her.
Finally, it was too much. Small talk had never been her forte, and it seemed ridiculous anyways since they practically grew up together. It was irritating to know that he could just look at her and not even have to say anything to drive her crazy but it was worse not knowing why.
"Out with it, Cullen."
Determinedly sitting still as Edward sat up and leaned closer to her, then closer still, Bella reminded herself to breathe and chanted silently in her mind.
Punch him if he tries punch him if he tries punch him if he tries...
The closer he got, the harder it was not to break eye contact with him. His gaze was so intent for a moment Bella forgot her chanting and just looked at the tiny flecks of gray and blue throughout his irises. When he raised one hand and brought it near her face, she decided that if he was going to kiss her she'd have to punch herself first, and then punch him. Otherwise she might forget why this was such a bad idea, why she was still mad at him, why it could never...
"Bella."
He was so close now the consonants of her name blew across her skin like a sigh. His hand was still rising slowly, stopping just next to her cheek. She took one last deep breath and held it, terrified and thrilled and feeling sick all at once.
His hand finally came to rest, cupping her face from chin to ear as his thumb slid back and forth across her cheekbone.
"You've got some dirt, here..."
Exhaling heavily, Bella put her hand on his chest (don't think about how hard it feels, how hot it is through his shirt, how he smells like sex even when he's covered in sweat) and pushed him back lightly. Standing up for good measure, because the couch suddenly seemed much too small and close, Bella forced herself to laugh.
"Hate to break it to you, but you're pretty filthy yourself, Cullen."
Hoping her face wouldn't give her inner turmoil away, Bella took a few steps away before she turned back again. He was still sitting there, looking at her in that way, the way that made her feel like a starfish, guts turned inside out and on display for the world. Only, instead of her guts, it was everything she kept secret, every hidden thought and dream, and he laid them bare with that stare alone.
"Thanks again for helping, for all of today really. I've got to shower before the guys come in, I swore to Harry I'd take dinner duty tonight."
Edward finally stood, stretching himself like a cat once more (and there's that perfect space of man skin, all tight and tasty looking) before nodding and walking toward her. She considered holding her ground worthy of a medal, or at least a commendation in bravery.
"I'll be back tomorrow to work on that well-pump for you."
"Edward, I don't need..."
"Ah, shut it already, Swan. I know you don't need help. I watched you man-handle furniture that weighs three times what you do. Or woman-handle? Either way, I'm not doing it because you need it. I'm doing it because that's what friends do."
Bella bit her tongue against a quick retort and thought over his words. One, in particular.
Friends. That's what friends do.
That was probably true; she would certainly help out any of the Cullen's, or Rose, if she had the time to. And Carlisle himself had said they were a little overstaffed this season, so Edward was probably just getting in the way over there.
Might as well get in the way over here I guess. And it probably wouldn't hurt to have some free manual labor.
The actual sight of Edward performing said labor was definitely not a deciding factor in her choice.
"Yeah, ok. Be here at eight. I'll have plenty of coffee for you."
From the way Edward's face lit up, he thought being there at eight and having coffee was better than Christmas.
"See you then. Bella."
Then he was striding past her and out the door, across the porch, and down the stairs. The open windows let in the faint sound of off-key whistling as she watched his retreating form stroll across her yard.
Twenty minutes later, up to her chin in too-hot bathwater and bubbles, a fresh glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on the floor next to her, Bella didn't think. She'd succeeded in emptying her mind of everything that required actual brainpower. Instead, she watched with a sort of faraway fascination as a rainbow of colors slid through each tiny bubble resting on her soapy knees. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and let her non-thoughts fill her, calmness sinking through her in a way she'd forgotten existed.
Against her will, a real thought sneaked in, and made it clear that no amount of not thinking about it would make it go away. Bella gave in with a sigh, opened her eyes, and brought it to the forefront of her mind. She'd been living like she had a bomb strapped to her, ready to go off at any second. The anticipation of something bad happening, always waiting to blow up in her face, had wound her body up like a spring. She'd gotten so used to it that she didn't notice it anymore, until the lack of tension felt strange in her bones. She realized she'd been more stressed than even she'd known, and took a moment to gloat in enjoyment at the way she was feeling now.
I feel like a limp noodle, in the best possible way.
Which didn't make a lot of sense, considering the gross amount of alcohol she and Alice had consumed, resulting in the worst hangover ever. On top of which the stress she'd felt at spending any amount of time alone with Edward, and the run in with the Plastic Princesses. Then more time with Edward, in close quarters no less, with some serious heavy lifting thrown in for good measure. In her own estimation, she should be feeling like death warmed over and forgotten in the microwave for a week. Instead, she felt satisfied, at ease.
Carefree. I feel completely carefree.
Eyes closing again, Bella slid back down into the tub feeling a little smug. Whatever had happened today, from utter humiliation at having been overheard ruminating on the exact color of Edward's eyes to that moment where she'd been so sure Edward was going to kiss her again she'd felt it on her lips, and even Lauren's attempts at making her feel inferior... none of it mattered right now.
Right now was for feeling carefree.
A/N: No excuses for the nearly half a year between updates. I'm just going to offer a treat instead :) If you're reading this after waiting all these months, you deserve it. And it's got zero calories, I swear! If you want a teaser from the next chapter, let me know in a review or PM or whatever and I'll hook you up.
EMMALINE IF YOU'RE OUT THERE, PLEASE PM ME! I'D LOVE YOUR HELP :)
Beta love, commencing now!
le_rameau is the night to my day. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a complete opposite helping them out; the different views open up a whole new world of options. Oh, and if you enjoyed the conversation with Took, thank her. :)
Bookjunkie1975 is my second sun. Adoration galore. She knows my brain, I love hers; it's the best ever. And her beta comment on hobbits in Montana? Well, that kind of took on a life of it's own, as you read. You guys need to read her Em/Leah O/S for the 30 Days of Emmett. It's so good :)
Izzzyysprinkles is my crazy naked friend (not just fully clothed friendly friend) who is wicked smart and generous to give me some of her insight. And when she quotes Ace Ventura as she betas... be still, my heart. Oh, and I love lemonade and cookies. Deal. ;p
A last random note: each of them commented in some way about how it was nice to see Edward be the book lover for once, as it's usually a Bella thing. This will be big in future chapters. Js.