DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE MENTALIST!

A/N: Thank you so much to Crystal for reviewing the last chapter! I'm sorry for the delay, one of the pups ate the second half of the chapter so I had to write it again. I know its not that great, more of a filler but the next chapter should be better

"What are you gonna do?" I ask as we sit side by side, hand in hand watching Julian in a much more peaceful sleep.

"About what?"

"When Julian gets better, are you gonna come back to Sacramento?" I explain but before he can answer my cell rings and I answer it to find hear a fuming Van Pelt.

"FINALLY! Where are you?" she demands immediately, "have you ditched everyone again? Why are you so determined to crush Julian's spirit? Why?"

"Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you and the others?"

"Is that your way of saying I'm leaving for Mexico?"

"No Grace I'm serious and I'm in Colorado," I explain for once having no problem keeping my temper in check.

"Colorado?" her voice becomes quiet as it dawns on her, "Julian... is he... I mean... he's not..."

"He's alive, just hurt," I cut in and the relief is clear in her voice.

"That's good at least... I'm gonna get the next flight out there. What happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here, don't worry too much he seems to be doing alot better now."

"Good. I'm gonna go now, see you shortly," she said before hanging up.

I look quickly at Julian, while obviously still looking ill his breathing seemed more even and he no longer needed a machine to breath for him and maybe it was wistful thinking but he looks slightly healthier. I squeeze his hand gently and his eyes flutter open again.

"Teresa, you're still here," he mumbles weakly but the corners of his mouth twitch in a smile.

"Of course I'm still here," I tell him feeling sad he assumes I'd abandon him again, not that I blame him, "do you really think I'd just leave you right now?"

"Err... yeah."

"Were you serious earlier when you said you thought no one wanted you?" I ask him gently.

"It's true isn't it? I heard what Grace said, she didn't want a baby dumped on her and you left and then you sent me away... I'm sorry I'm so worthless Teresa," he explains looking miserable and trying not to cry.

"You're not worthless Julian, you're like the perfect son and I am so proud of you. Don't you forget that okay? I'm the screwed up one-"

"Don't say that Teresa, you're a great Mom," he interrupts me defensively.

"No I'm not, I kind of suck at it but I promise I'm going to try harder. When you've recovered you're gonna come to live back to Sacramento, would you like that?" I ask smiling and he nods weakly returning my smile.

"You're awake," Patrick states smiling as he returns with a mug of tea and a coffee cup which he hands to me and takes a seat, "are you thirsty Julian? I can get you a soda or something."

"I'm fine Patrick."

"You can call me Dad y'know?" Patrick laughs nervously, "although I haven't been the best Dad have I?"

"Of course you have!" Julian protests, "I'm just happy you're alive and here, both of you are here. Are you... Are you gonna come back to Sacramento?"

"Yes I am," he says and Julian and I both grin broadly, "just try get some rest now okay?"

"Okay," Julian agrees closing his eyes carefully.

"You're really gonna come back?"

"Of course, if you want me to come back that is."

"I've always wanted you to come back," I tell him honestly, "I love you Patrick."

"I love you too and I know its never going to be good enough but I am sorry," he mumbles looking guiltily at me, "there's excuse for what I did... I never realized things would be so bad for you if I faked my death, I didn't think I just figured it was better than staying there for the rest of my short life."

"It's okay, we can work through it. You, me, Julian... oh god I forgot to tell Van Pelt you were alive!" I laugh suddenly as does he.

"It's okay, she likes surprises."

Our laughter fades as we sober sipping our drinks in silence, my eyes dart between Patrick and Julian, I still struggle to believe I am actually sitting right beside a dead man. I study him carefully, he looks almost the same slightly older yes and with a slightly more haunted look in his eyes but still Patrick Jane and...

"You're not wearing your wedding ring," I point out after I notice its absence.

"What? Oh that yeah, I haven't worn it in years."

"So... what's it like working with the FBI?"

"It has its moments, I never need to worry about the FBI getting sued. Mention the word and everybody goes silent, which can kinda be a draw back... I work on rotation, different units all the time. It's not the same as working with the CBI, with the team, with you. I miss it."

"The team will be pleased you're alive, we miss you. Work is so much more mundane without your insane plans," I tell him smiling half heartedly, "I never thought I'd actually miss that. Y'know every time I look at your couch I half expect to see you lying there?"

"I don't know if-" he began but stopped when a cell phone rang, "hold that thought," he added answering the call, "Jane..."

"Hey," hissed the nurse as she returns, "no cell phones allowed in the hospital. Turn 'em off."

"Sorry ma'am FBI, urgent," explains Patrick looking at her seriously, "I'll be back, its my boss," he whispers to me leaving.

"I hope so."