Chapter 11
We only live 10 minutes from the hospital but with a crying baby and panic it seems like eternity. I am trying to drive at speed limit but the panic is kicking in, I start to drive faster then the speed limit and go through the yellow lights. In any other situation Karma would scold at me, but this is Emma.
Karma is in the back seat with Emma trying to calm her down. She's trying to rock her back and forth in her car seat and gave her a blankey, but that is not working. As soon as I pull up to the E.R., tell Karma to get Emma and I will meet her inside.
Karma got Emma and ran out of the car. I try to find the parking lot and park as fast as possible.
Karma's P.O.V.
I obey Amy and run out of the car with Emma. I run pass the automatic doors and to the front desk.
"My daughter. She is sick. Please help!" I cry.
The nurse looks up and gives me a clipboard. I look down at the clipboard and see a list of names. "Please write your name on the list and we will see you shortly" the lady says.
"How long will it be till we see someone?" I ask. I've always felt like doctors take forever to see patients. When my father had a heart attack it seemed like forever till they saw him.
"About 5 minutes, there are two people before you." The nurse said.
I turned around and sat down. I put Emma on my lap and try not to let my mind spiral downwards in what is wrong with Emma. A couple of minutes later I see Amy.
"They haven't seen her yet?"
"No, the nurse said 5 minutes."
"Emma needs to be seen now!" Amy says turning around heading to the nurse.
Amy's P.O.V.
"Hey, my daughter needs to be seen now, she has been crying like this for an hour and something is wrong. Why is this taking so long?" I yell at the nurse. The thought of Emma being in pain is heartbreaking.
"Ma'am, the doctor will see you soon. You need to wait with your wife." The nurse says and she motions towards Karma and Emma.
I ignore that the nurse called Karma my wife but secretly my heart melts.
"No I will not wait! We need to see the doctor now!" I repeat again. I can feel myself getting tense. I have always hated hospitals.
"Ma'am, please sit down. I will see what I can do." The nurse said and turned away. She walked towards the door and opens it. Then she disappeared.
"Amy, its okay. It shouldn't be long" I hear Karma behind me. I turn around and sit beside her.
We wait about 2 more minutes before the nurse comes back.
"Ladies, we are ready to see Emma."
Karma and I stand up and follow the nurse to a room. The room must be for young ones because the walls are decorated in pastel colors with baby animals. Karma sits Emma on the table while the nurse is getting ready for the doctor to see Emma.
'Hi, I'm nurse Hilary. I will be assisting Nurse Cheyenne and Dr. Ryan Karr with little Emma tonight. I am going to ask you a series of questions, this will better help us understand what is wrong with Emma." Nurse Hilary said to us.
Nurse Hilary pulled a pen out of her pocket on her scrubs and looks down at the folder in front of her.
"Okay, When did Emma start getting irritable?"
"She woke me up at 1 this morning crying. It is a cry I never heard before. I went into her room and felt her head and she felt hot so I took her temperature. The thermometer said 103.6." Karma said.
"That is high. Has she vomited?"
"I saw a little in her crib before we brought her here."
"What activities did Emma do today?"
"Amy and I went to Mommy and Me. We did a little workout class with other families."
I just listen to Nurse Hilary asking questions and Karma answering. I feel so pathetic that I can't answer one single question. I didn't even know what Karma meant that Emma's cries were different. How could Emma cries be different? What is wrong with Emma?
"Okay. Now family history, Amy." The nurse asked.
"Well, Emma isn't ours. I mean she is ours but neither of our blood. Her fathers were our best friends and they died in a car accident. They had us as her primary parents. Uh. All of the paper work is at home, but I believe Duke's father had a heart attack at age 50 and a stroke at 55. He is still alive but is on a lot of medication. Shane, his mother has type one diabetes and not heart conditions for his parents. I can call their parents to give any other information if needed. " Karma cuts in.
"Okay. That is enough information for now." The nurse said as she writes everything Karma just said.
"I'm going to take her temperature again and blood pressure." The nurse said. "Karma can you hold Emma still and try to comfort her."
Karma walks towards Emma and places her hands on top of Emma's. She gently strokes her fingers along Emma's skin and it calms Emma.
The nurse takes out the blood pressure monitor and wraps the cuff around Emma rights arm. After a several seconds the nurse takes off the wrap and writes stuff on her notepad. Then nurse takes her stethoscope out and puts the bell along Emma's front side and motions for her to breath in and out several times.
The nurse turns around and looks Karma and I straight in the eyes.
"We will have to do further test but I suspect Emma has bacterial meningitis. We need take her to a room and hook her up to an IV. Please follow me."
We follow the nurse to a room with a bed and several chairs. The walls were white and unpleasant.
Karma lays Emma on the bed as instructed by Hilary. Another nurse comes in and starts talking to Hilary. They both turn to us.
"Hi I am Cheyenne. I will be drawing blood and a spinal tap. Emma will probably be here for a while and the results will take up to 78 hours. You and Karma will need to stay outside in the waiting area and fill out forms. We will keep you updated on Emma."
There was a moment of silent. I was at lost of words to say. My daughter is sick with what is believed to be meningitis and I have done nothing to help her. I feel so hopeless. Some how I caught my words.
"What caused this? Why is Emma sick?" I ask.
"Well Children are prone to get sick, you can't prevent everything from them. Children have a low immune system and when around other children they catch germs easily."
"So Emma caught this from being around other children?" I ask.
"Children can catch any sickness from anything because their immune systems are low. It is a good thing you came in when you did. This could be worst." Cheyenne said. " We need to get Emma to her room and get her settled in her bed. She needs to get ready for the procedure."
Nurse Hilary walks us out of the room and to the waiting area. I look at my watch on my left arm and see it is 6 o'clock in the morning. I look up see Karma start to cry.
After a few minutes I hear Karma say "You know, you could do something."
"What do you want me to do? You seem to be handling everything fine by yourself."
"All you have been doing is staring at Emma. You didn't check on Emma when she starting to cry this morning and you didn't answer a single question Nurse Hilary asked. You are her mom also! I can't be doing all this by myself." Karma is yelling at me.
"I had a tough day, work isn't going too well and I am stressed. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect mom like you. I'm sorry I don't belong in this family" I yell back.
"Well, maybe if you paid attention to Emma more you would be a better mom."
"Pay more attention. Are you serious? I watch Emma all the time!"
"Like yesterday. You wouldn't look at her during Mommy and Me class. "
I feel like I am losing control of my life. First my work is going up in flames and now Emma is sick and has to be hospitalizing for two weeks. I can feel like I am losing grip, I keep thinking about the cost and feel a ping in my stomach.
"This is your fault!" I start yelling at Karma before I can catch myself. "If your family didn't insist on Mommy and Me classes, Emma wouldn't have gotten sick."
Karma turns around tears forming in her eyes.
"You know that is not true. Cheyenne said children are prone to get sick because of their immune system. You can not blame me for Emma being sick."
"Yes I can. Karma, Emma is going to be here for two weeks. Do you know how expensive that is? Were going to be paying at least 2 thousand dollars for a stupid class of 20 dollars that got her sick. Not to mention the class was the stupidest thing I've ever been to."
"We are a family Amy. Family does activities together and bond. The last time we bonded was in Corpus and that was over a month ago. "
"I don't think you understand. Emma is sick. Meningitis is fatal. We could lose Emma and it will be on your hands not mine." I yell. I feel my heart racing and palms sweating. I need to get air. As I walk off I hear a loud sob from behind me but don't turn back. What I just said couldn't be taken back and I don't think I can see the look on Karma's face so I continue to walk. I feel myself walking faster that eventually turns into a run. My vision and I run till I can't feel my legs anymore become blurry.
FOUR HOURS LATER
Mom, Bruce, Lauren, Theo, Zen, Molly and Lucas are sitting in the waiting room. Karma is sitting beside her mom crying while her mom is trying to comfort her. I am pacing back and forth behind them trying not to think about Emma.
I am so scared and angry I am having trouble breathing. I've tried to get Karma's attention but she is ignoring me. I guess Lauren notice because she came up to me and asked me to talk.
We walk in silence to the break room. Lauren reaches out for a cup and pours some day old coffee. Lauren turns around.
"So you and Karma got into a fight?" She says point blank.
"I. I said some stuff." I reply not looking at Lauren. I can feel the scold on her face.
"You said some stuff? Like what stuff?"
"We were talking about Emma. You know expenses." I reply nonchalantly.
"Amy. Cut the crap! What is going on!"
"I have a lot going on. Work is going terrible. The lead actress got fired and now the whole production might get cut. The bill for hospitals is so expensive. I am out of a job and I can't pay for the bill."
"Amy. You not alone in this, Karma will help you with the bills."
"No, I need to do it. I need to provide for this family."
"Amy. You're not alone. You have Karma and Emma. You love them."
"No. I need to pull my weight. Karma is doing everything and I can't do a damn thing."
"Amy"
"No. Lauren, when Dr. Karr was asking questions I couldn't answer one. At Mommy and Me I didn't bond with Emma because I couldn't understand what the instructor was saying. I am not fit to be a mother."
"Amy, yes you are."
I feel like I am losing control of my life. I can feel my palms sweating and heart beating faster. The more I am talking to more I am realizing what is going on. I look at Lauren and for a second we stare at each other then I pour my heart out.
"Emma is the glue that is holding Karma and I together. Before Emma we hated being around each other. Yes, Shane and Duke would pick on us for our hate relationship but I think deep down they both knew we were perfect for each other. I've always had feelings for Karma but being around her 24/7 with Emma makes everything seem real. I can't hide my feelings from her by constantly being around her. I- I love her Lauren. If something happens to Emma-"
"Nothing will happen to Emma." Lauren saying assuring that everything will be okay.
"If something happens to Emma, I will not only lose Emma, but I will lose Karma. I can't lose her Lauren. Not after everything we have gone through. I love her." I say as tears are failing from my eyes.
Lauren steps closer to me and puts her arms around me.
"It's going to be okay Amy. You and Karma have something special between you. Everyone has noticed it since the beginning, before Emma. Shane and I have tried so many times to get you two together. You are just scared. Emma will be fine and you and Karma will be fine. Just take a deep breath and apologize to her."
I have never been good at admitting my feelings. It might be why I act the way I do, but Karma is important to me and I never wanted to hurt her. I need to tell her how I feel and pray Emma gets better. I can't lose the two most important girls in my life. I can't.
A/N: I am not a doctor or know anything medical related. I research several articles and had some help from a good friend. Let me know what you think.