I do not own Gundam Wing. This fan fiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this.
AN: This is the third in a series of three chapters regarding Heero and Relena's past. This will hopefully answer many questions, and resolve much confusion.
Chapter 12 will pick up where chapter 8 left off. Just so everyone knows the game plan…. Thanks for your patience.
Chapter 1110 years ago (Continued)
Relena entered the classroom a few minutes after the last bell. "Calculus, bleh! What a way to start the day," she thought wryly. The teacher glared at her, and she flushed with embarrassment. She quickly took the only seat left in the room. Right next to… She felt a sudden urge to run away.
Heero smirked as she quickly exited the room as soon as class was over. "Good, she's afraid of me." He was surprised that his heart somehow felt heavier.
Heero lay on his bed, too troubled to sleep. The nightmares were getting worse instead of better. He killed her every night, those light blue eyes asking the question, "Why?" as her blood poured out of her body, darkening the skin on his hands and the ground around his feet. And then he would wake up in a cold sweat with his heart pounding in his ears. He made his way to the bathroom and washed his hands again.
Odin was awake, shooting up…again. It was his drug habit that kept the two desperately short of funds every month when the rent came due. He hated having to drag Heero into his life of crime – he never wanted to make him into something he despised. And he could tell from the haunted look in his eyes and the light under the door during the dark hours of morning that Heero was cracking up, too. Odin escaped the only way he knew how. The heroin would take effect in a second…
Heero walked out into the living room, and glared down at Odin. That was the stuff that destroyed their mother. "He's such a coward," he thought in disgust. The pain was eating him alive inside, but there was no escape for Heero. He didn't deserve it. He had taken a life, and his shattered soul was all that was left. He pulled on his jacket and went out into the night.
Relena arrived unusually early to her Calculus class. The classroom lights hadn't even been turned on. She flipped the switch and almost screamed when she saw him sitting there, staring straight ahead at nothing. "Heero?" she called out in a whisper.
"Relena…."
"Are you all right? What were you doing here in the dark?"
"I belong in the dark."
She cocked her head to one side, not sure of what to make of him. He wouldn't look at her.
A sad smile crossed her face. "Heero, I'm not afraid of you."
He glanced up sharply and glared at her. His tortured eyes had dark circles under them. He mumbled something unintelligible.
She moved down the aisle to sit next to him. "I didn't hear you," she said and placed a hand on his arm.
"You should be!" he shouted at her, wrenching his arm out of her grip. "Don't you know what I am?"
"No," she said softly. "Tell me…"
"I'm a killer! I murdered that man…." He got up, wanting to run away from her, her forgiveness, her light. He didn't deserve it; he didn't deserve to live. He started to leave.
"Don't go," she murmured.
He turned at the door and their eyes met. "I kill you in my dreams."
She nodded. "Mine, too."
He walked out the door.
Duo was standing at his locker, talking to a pretty brunette, when he saw Heero.
"He looks like hell," Duo thought sadly.
"Excuse me Hilde, I'm sorry, but I have to go," he said hastily, not wanting to lose his friend in the crowd.
"Okay, well, you have my number. Call me," she said with a smile.
He turned and grinned at her. "Tonight, I promise," he said as he disappeared down the hallway.
"Heero! Wait up, buddy!"
He caught up to him outside. It was raining, and the two were getting soaked. "Talk to me," Duo said in a concerned voice.
He was greeted by silence.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Heero finally replied, turning away from him.
"Then where are you going? You can't skip…."
"What does it matter? Nothing matters anymore…" his voice trailed off as he looked up at the sky.
"Are you on something?"
Heero laughed. It was a hollow, cynical laugh that made Duo shiver.
"No, I'm not on anything."
"Is it Odin? He's using again, isn't he?"
Silence again. Then finally, "Does he ever stop?"
"Heero, don't – you can't live like that. You can stay with me. Don't just throw your life away, man. Odin wouldn't want you to. He always wanted you to have better than what he had."
Heero shook his head. "I can't leave him alone, Duo. He'll die."
"He's killing you."
"No, I'm already dead," he said with a fierce look in his eye.
Duo didn't know what to say. Heero started to turn away from him again, when suddenly, he stopped and just stared at something beyond his vision. Duo looked over his shoulder and saw Relena standing there, just outside the door. The rain was coming down in torrents, and a cold wind blew, stirring a few strands of her now wet hair, but she stood still. Her eyes saw only Heero.
Heero took a step towards her, "Relena," he choked out.
She left the safety of the doorway, and moved towards him. "Heero."
They stood there in the rain, within arms reach, but not touching. Neither one said a word, afraid of breaking the deafening silence surrounding them. She reached out, and tentatively brushed from his eyes a stray strand of hair darkened almost black with rain. He wasn't sure if the tremor coursing through his body was caused by her touch or the bitterly cold winter weather.
He grabbed her wrist almost violently, startling her, and pulled her to him. He bent his head towards hers… "Can you save me?" he asked, looking deep into her eyes.
"No, I can love you, but I can't save you," she said softly caressing his cheek. "Only you can do that." He closed his eyes as he let her words sweep over him.
His eyes opened again, revealing the anguish inside. "I don't…know…how," he breathed and claimed her lips in a desperate kiss. Relena was shocked, but returned the kiss as his arms went around her back and crushed her body to his. Her arms moved up to the back of his neck and tangled in his wet hair.
It felt like he was drowning, and fighting for air. Relena never imagined anything like it – all at once so violent in his devastating need for her.
The kiss finally ended, but they didn't break apart. With their foreheads still touching, he asked her in a whisper, "Why me?"
She smiled sadly up at him. "I don't know why. All I can say is that I've loved you since the first time I saw you."
He held her tighter, afraid to let go.