Well, here's your first lemon chapter. I hope it's good.

Disclaimer: I wonder if I own Her. Maybe…

Chapter 10

Rose

Christian was kissing her, and my god, it was a kiss. Usually I got stuck in Lissa's head because of some negative emotion, but there was nothing negative about what she was feeling.

She was happy. Very, very happy.

They were in their love nest in the attic of the school's chapel. The place had been a regular hangout for them, back when each of them was feeling antisocial and wanted to escape. Eventually, they decided to be antisocial together, and one thing led to another. Since they started publicly dating, I hadn't known they spent much time here anymore. Maybe they were back for old time's sake.

And indeed, a celebration did seem to be going on. Little scented candles were set up around the dusty old place, candles that filled the air with the scent of lilacs. I would have been nervous about setting all those candles in a confined space with flammable boxes and books, but Christian probably figured he could control any accidental infernos.

They finally broke that insanely long kiss and pulled back to look at each other. They lay on their sides on the floor with several blankets under them.

"Don't you think we're going to go to hell for this?" asked Lissa.

He reached out and touched her face, trailing his fingers along her cheek and neck and down to the top of her silky shirt. She breathed heavily at that touch, at the way it could be so gentle and small, yet evoke such a strong passion within her.

"For this?" He played with the shirt's edge, letting his finger just barely brush inside of it.

"No," she laughed. "For this." She gestured around the attic. "This is a church. We shouldn't be doing this kind of thing up here."

"Not true," he said. "The church is downstairs. This is storage. God won't mind."

"You don't believe in God," she chastised. Her delicate hands trailed down his chest lightly.

"I'm humoring you."

"You'd say anything right now," she accused.

"You're right," he agreed. He carefully undid one button on her blouse. Just one. The he again leaned down and gave her one of those hard, deep kisses. "Tell me what you need to hear, and I'll say it." He unfastened another button.

"There's nothing I need to hear," she laughed. "You can tell me whatever you want—it'd just be nice if it were true."

"The truth, huh? No one wants to hear the truth. The truth is never sexy. But you…" The last button came undone, and he spread her shirt away. "You are too goddamned sexy to be real." I could imagine what he saw. Smooth, soft white skin scented like flowers. Slender little snag-able waist and rounded little hips. A lacy white bra concealing a pair of small yet perfectly formed breasts. I could feel through her that the lace was itchy, but she didn't care.

I understood what was going on now, all of it. This was the moment. Their first time having sex. It was just them and the way they felt about each other right now. She was, as I said, really freaking happy.

This made it really fucking hard to get out of her head. I had no right to witness this nor did I want to. And no way in hell did I want to have sex with Christian! Even if he wasn't a guy (oh, scary thought), he was still a jackass to me most of the time! I tried to focus my energies to separate myself from her, which would've been easy if not for what happened next.

He bent his head to her nipple and bit it, letting out a little growl that made Lissa gasp. He licked it once and she, and by extension I, gasped again. Then when he took that pert little rosy tip into his mouth, wetness dripped down my legs. No! Down Lissa's legs. Her head was thrown back, cheeks flushed. She was biting her lip, letting out these hot little whimpers that lit me up.

Shit!

He kept devouring her pert little breasts until she told him to go lower. I could only pay attention to Lissa as I felt her hands grasp and clutch the blanket, as her skin covered with goosebumps as he teased her, and how her heart was thumping. When he finally reached the grand prize, her moans reverberated off the walls. She bucked into his face as he used his mouth again to pleasure her. And damn was he doing it well!

They were driving themselves crazy, driving me crazy, high on love and carnal pleasure. Lissa was practically in delirium. He kept working her clit with his tongue and a little with his fingers, drinking down her wetness until she couldn't speak; only mumble little incongruous syllables that could've been words. And oh god. Oh god, oh god, ohgod ohgod oh, Oh Sweet Jesus!

She screamed into the night as she climaxed and so did I (in my mind). Her body arched, I could see it bend in the flickering shadows cast by the candle light. And then it came down again. She was panting heavily as he slid up her body again, kissing her and allowing us to taste her. I groaned in my head as Lissa groaned into his lips. She could feel his hard arousal against her center. He got off a moment to put on a condom, and then with little preamble he trust inside her. Her squeal became a moan when he set a slow and steady pace in and out of her. Every thrust sent lightning bolts of pleasure and joy through her whole body. They were so strong I, I…

"That's right, darling." She was above me like a goddess, Her beautiful blonde hair touching my face, our fingers intertwined and pressed into the mattress. She was moving above me, sliding the toy She'd strapped on in and out of my slippery core. With every thrust in Her breasts pressed against mine. She placed kisses and licks up and down my throat, drawing moan after loud moan out of me. "You're so beautiful, Rose. So beautiful it hurts sometimes. Such a sweet pain. Everything you are, your adorable face" She kissed my cheek "your curvy, luscious body" She kissed my breast "your perfect, pure soul" She kissed my lips "all of it kills me and makes me feel so alive all at once." She sped up Her thrusts, pressing us together and holding my head to Her neck. She in turn put Her mouth to my flesh and worshipped me.

I wrapped my arms around Her and tried to reciprocate, relishing the sweet taste of Her sweaty skin and the smell of jasmine in Her hair. I was so close, so dreadfully close, and She knew it from the sounds I was making. She slowed everything down, increasing the gentle pounding force She was exerting. She kissed me, so gentle and loving, velvety tongue exploring my mouth, tenderly pillaging me. When we separated for air, She pressed our foreheads together.

"Come for me, darling. Show me how beautiful you truly are. Come for me." All it took was those words. I climaxed with screams that She devoured them. My entire body arched and twisted into Hers, and She happily held me there. All the while, She continued those loving shoves, slowly helping me down from my high. When I was reduced to weak shakes, She withdrew and settled onto me. "That was so wonderful, my Rose. Your screams, your writhing, your aftershock shivers… they all light a passion so deep in me."

"Then maybe I should do something about it," I panted, pulling Her down into a somewhat sloppy kiss from my exhaustion. She smiled gleefully and I took the strap-on off. I tossed it aside and flipped our positions. "Now it's my turn to see how beautiful you are."

WHAM!

I hit my bedroom floor with a thud. I gasped for breath, my arms wrapping around my body protectively. I looked wildly around the room. Yes, I was back in my dorm room. My backpack lay discarded beside me.

But…

If I was back here, then… I wasn't with Her…

I'd never been with Her at all.

None of it had been real.

A wracking sob choked me, doubling me over into the fetal position. I trembled violently as big fat tears rolled down my face. No, no, it can't be over! My Love, my Goddess, come back to me! Please, Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I didn't know they were firing a gun. I didn't hear the shots before it was too late. You have to know I would've stopped them if I'd known! Oh, Baby, please, forgive me! Come back to me! Come back!

It was all too much. Everything, the love, the lust, the soul-ripping, gut-wrenching, heart-shattering agony, built into one reverberating scream. It was a dying lion's roar, an eagle's call for the chicks they already knew were lost, the howl of the wolf whose life-mate was dead.

I screamed and screamed for god knows how long. I think I went hoarse after a certain point, but I was too far gone to know the exact moment.

"Roza!" I felt something on my arm. A hand. It shook me, but it didn't matter. The pain was so intense it fogged my mind to anything else. It kept shaking, and that voice kept repeating the same things. "Roza, snap out of it! It is me, Dimitri. Come on, Roza, come back to us. Snap out of it!" I only curled up into a smaller ball and continued sobbing.

"Dimka, you must sedate her. She isn't going to calm down without help. Here," said a woman. I felt another hand pinch something a pressure point in my neck, and most everything descended into darkness.

AN: Soooo, yeah. Hetero and voyeurism turned to slash in a flashback, which turned into an emotional breakdown and another revelation. That was not how I planned this chapter originally but whatever.

Aw, Dimitri and Tasha came to help Rose! I may not like Rose and Dimitri as a couple, but they can be cute together on rare occasions and Dimka can be really sweet.

Did anyone notice how in Christian and Lissa's part, Rose never went in any real detail about Christian beyond what he was doing to Lissa? Her attention was entirely focused on Lissa. This is (as if there weren't enough already) another implication that Rose is "technically" bi or used to be bi, but really she's just gay. End of story.

And you now know what happened to Her. She was shot and killed and Rose blames herself (at least subconsciously) for Her death. I'm sad now.

Anyway, it'll probably take the usual amount of time for the next chapters, as I don't quite know what all is going to happen in them at this time. See you then. Review! Russia commands you!