Heavily edited on August 31, 2017
Tears soaked into her pillow throughout the night, leaving its lilac cover wet until the next morning. She woke with a gasp and a tension in her chest. Faint memories of the nightmare quickly left her mind. Luckily, most of the tightness in her stomach vanished with the dream. Her nightgown clung to her body, soaked with her hot sweat. Gently she tugged at it to allow her skin some air. She brushed some sweaty hair from her face. A sigh escaped her lips and she closed her eyes for a moment, resting her head against the wooden headboard.
She felt as if she hadn't slept at all, pictures of Nymphadora dying harassing her mind. She felt as if she had been thrown back in time as if it was 1998 all over again. She had tried to get well so many times. Every time, something came up and pushed her back down to her knees. This was the worst so far. The dulled pain stung again, making it hard for her to breathe. She was tired, so terribly tired.
With her shaking hand, she reached to her left. Relieved, she felt Hermione laying right there, snuggled up close to her, breathing steadily. A small smile flickered across Andromeda's lips. The young woman held her heart firmly in her hands, stopping it from shattering completely.
Her head started spinning the moment she heaved herself out of bed. It was still early in the morning, only the dim light of dawn streaming in through the small gap in her cream coloured curtains. She looked outside, marvelling at the beautiful morning until she heard Hermione stir. She looked horribly tired from soothing her all night long. Andromeda sat down again and gently stroked through Hermione's curls, giving her a small smile.
"Are you sure you still want to do to this, Andie?" She asked tiredly before falling back asleep.
Andromeda nodded at her sleeping girlfriend. She still wanted to confront her sister. When she got up again, she flinched because of her sore back. She staggered towards the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub, wincing when its cold surface touched her naked thighs. Unwanted tears tracked down her face and she tried her hardest to stop them. "Dammit!" she exclaimed and furiously wiped her face with her palms.
The hot shower didn't help her clear her mind, even her vision seemed foggy. Back in her bedroom, she fished out a flower-patterned white summer dress from her closet and slipped into it. She gently woke Hermione and proceeded to the next room to wake up Teddy before heading downstairs to prepare breakfast.
The Pensieve still stood on the table when she entered the kitchen, the memory still squirming in it, reminding her yet again that last night's events weren't just a dreadful dream. She sat Teddy down in his highchair. She then extracted the blue string with her wand and released it into the phial before closing it and storing both the Pensieve and memory away.
When Hermione entered the kitchen she was feeding Teddy. Andromeda lifted her eyes to see that the younger witch had her hair tied into a rather messy bun and wore jeans shorts and a simple black t-shirt. Hermione stared back at Andromeda for several moments, taking in her pale features. She looked hollow this morning, drained of life. Hermione shoved the thought aside that this could have been the final blow. That seeing this horrid memory had broken her completely.
"I am so, so sorry that you had to see this. I cannot even begin to imagine what pain this must have caused."
Andromeda heard her words but couldn't react. She slowly put down Teddy's spoon next to his bowl of mashed fruit and yoghurt, an unreadable expression on her face. The toddler grabbed the spoon and shoved another portion into his mouth, giggling at his achievement. Andromeda ignored him and Hermione stared at her again. She cursed the older woman's stubbornness to always deal with her pain alone. Andromeda felt uncomfortable under Hermione's piercing gaze and tried to escape.
"The Potter's are busy today. I will bring Teddy to his great-grandparents." She spoke, completely ignoring everything Hermione had just said. She got up from her chair, wiped Teddy's face with a summoned wet cloth and placed him on her hip, ignoring his cries for more food.
"Let me join you!" Hermione begged and touched her arm milliseconds before Andromeda apparated away. Andromeda's eyes widened in shock when she felt Hermione's hand on her arm. She focused hard on her apparition.
"Don't you dare to do that ever again," Andromeda snapped. "You could have hurt him!" Hermione winced at the harshness of her words.
"Nana angry?" Teddy asked and threw his hands in the air.
"I am not angry anymore, my darling," Andromeda said gently. She smiled lightly but to Hermione's disappointment, it didn't reach her eyes, not even when the boy slung his arms around her neck and gripped her locks with his tiny hands.
"I am sorry," she told the older woman, her voice small.
Andromeda swallowed her anger, telling herself that it wasn't Hermione that made her angry. Hermione was relieved when Andromeda lovingly stroked her arm.
She strode towards an orange coloured house, Hermione trailing closely behind her. After ringing the bell, Andromeda turned around to Hermione and said harshly: "They don't know about us and I'd like to keep it this way." Again, her voice sounded cold and distant and nothing like the warm-hearted and calm woman she came to love. Hermione nodded defeated and stepped back from the front porch, sadness washed over her and she couldn't school her features. She debated leaving to go home but decided against it. Despite the current tension, Andromeda was in no state to be left alone.
Helen's bright smile upon seeing her daughter-in-law died the second she saw her pained expression.
"Whatever happened now, child?" Helen asked incredulously at Andromeda's haggard looks. Andromeda had no nerve to deal with her and simply held out the toddler towards her mother-in-law. Helen set Teddy down on the floor in her hall so that he could crawl inside the house. Andromeda turned on the step to leave but Helen was faster and snatched her by her wrist. Andromeda hissed at the fierce grip and brushed her off. "Just look after Teddy, please," she pleaded. Helen nodded and let her go.
Andromeda guided Hermione away from the house into a small alley. She pressed Hermione gently against the wall and apologised to her, kissing her softly. "Forgive me, my love. You have only ever been kind to me and I hurt you."
Hermione kissed her back. "I forgive you but please don't shut me out again. I need you to let me help you."
Andromeda nodded. Only Hermione's presence was able to calm her screaming heart. She drew soothing circles on her back then took her hand. "Ready to go?" she asked before apparating them both.
Hermione took in her surroundings with surprise, the bright sunlight blinding her eyes. They were standing in Andromeda's backyard. Carefully, Andromeda sat down on the grass, dragging Hermione down with her and lay her head in the younger woman's lap.
"I don't have the guts to go back there," she admitted, playing with their entwined hands, tears flowing silently. She didn't have the courage to look Hermione in the eyes.
Hermione was surprised to hear such a confession. She ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her tears away, just as she had done the previous night. Grey eyes finally looked up into hers. A smile danced on her lips. "We both know that you can do this. We go there and you give her a good telling-off. Then-" she smirked at this "-we disapparate, leaving her dumbfounded and crawling back to you."
Andromeda smiled weakly at Hermione's enthusiasm. If only it were that easy. Calling Black Hall a horrible place was an understatement. The house was filled to the brink with dark magic and hatred against those of lesser blood. Not once had she missed the place she once called home. She was afraid that her visit would cause her even more pain. Hermione gave her an encouraging smile, pulled her up to her feet and kissed her knuckles softly. "You can do this and I will be right there with you," she reassured her once more.
"Let's go, then." Andromeda steeled herself and apparated them.
They landed in a meadow, on their asses, of course. Andromeda looked around exasperated and gave Hermione an apologetic glance. She scrambled to her feet and cleaned their clothes with several spells. Taking in her surroundings, she huffed. The wards hadn't let her apparate close to the mansion.
"Seems like the wards don't like it when I arrive with a Muggle-born in my arms. We have to walk from here. I think it will take about half an hour." She kissed Hermione gently.
Hermione nodded, she didn't mind a short walk on such a sunny day. Andromeda walked a few steps in front of her, determined and fast, her hair illuminated by the sun, bringing out its subtle chestnut tones. Behind her, Hermione inhaled her delicious scent. She smelt of lilies and white musk, mingled with a faint hint of laundry detergent. She enjoyed their small moment of peace and Andromeda's beauty before catching up to her. Moments before she reached Andromeda, her pulse increased and her throat felt tight. She stopped in her tracks. "Andie," she groaned.
The older woman turned around abruptly when she heard her lover's shaking voice. Looking at her worriedly, she touched her neck to feel her pulse. Hermione's cheeks were void of all colour.
"We must have crossed the stronger wards," she said and suddenly felt very aware of the slight tingling of magic on her skin. "They have been set up to keep 'lesser' people away from the mansion." She rolled her eyes slightly and stroked Hermione's cheek. "They are messing with you. Just try to stay focused. It's going to be fine. I am right here." She drew Hermione close to her body and draped her arm around her shoulders.
After another ten minutes, the outlines of the mansion became visible. She held onto Hermione even tighter, stopping their stride. Black Hall stood elevated on top of a hill, vast and dark, two towers pointing towards the sky. From afar it looked menacingly but the desolate state of the once posh estate became visible on the second glance. Pieces of stone were missing from the outer wall, some windows were smashed, ivy was creeping up the walls. The surrounding garden was a mess, unkempt and overgrown with weeds of all sorts. Andromeda spotted the fountain that she had loved many summers ago. It was now empty and the white marble had lost its shine. Unwanted melancholia flooded her body when she remembered the good days that she had spent at this godforsaken place.
Hermione felt her tense up. "Is everything alright?"
"It's overwhelming. Look at it, it's a ruin, just like the Noble House of Black." She snorted lightly at the misery and gathered herself before walking again. Soon they arrived in front of high, rusty gates.
Andromeda grudgingly eyed the dagger and small silver bowl that flowed in front of her. It felt like no time at all had passed since she had last spoken the words to enter the premises. "Toujours pur, toujours noir, laisse-moi entrer, ouvre-toi pour moi."
She cut her palm but the blade was sharper than she thought and she accidentally cut herself too deep. She whimpered in pain when the crimson liquid poured into the bowl. Almost immediately, the Black family coat of arms appeared in front of her and the gates opened. The cut on her hand closed without leaving a mark. She exhaled slowly, glad that the wards still recognised her blood. Her family had indeed been too lazy to cast her out properly. She faced Hermione again, kissing her gently, putting everything she felt for the young witch into the kiss. She cupped her cheek and looked lovingly at her.
A shiver ran down Hermione's spine when the look of love changed into a look of anxiety and hesitation.
"You have to wait here, my love. It's not safe for you to follow me. The wards will want to harm you. Try to stay strong but when you feel too uneasy, please apparate home. I promise you I'll come back unharmed." She caressed her cheek softly. "I love you."
"You sound like you are telling me goodbye." Hermione sounded a bit unhinged before she added: "I know you are courageous, but please, don't play heroine today." Hermione gave her a weak smile when she approached the entrance. Hermione reached out to touch her once more. The invisible shield surrounding the property promptly burned her fingertips.
Andromeda turned around at her outcry of pain. "Oh, how I hate it. Blood-wards, what a stupid invention," she cursed under her breath. "Please, my love. Stay back this time," she said gently and healed her lover's burnt fingertips with her hand, kissing them softly afterwards.
Andromeda approached the house of her childhood with a speedy pace. She wanted to get this over with quickly. She blanked out all of her memories, not letting them distract her. She was already halfway up the stairs when the front door opened abruptly. The red light hit her chest with full force. She stood no chance to dodge the curse.
Hermione watched in horror as Andromeda fell down the stairs backwards.
A/N
Some more pain to go through. I'm sorry but it's necessary for her to heal.
Thank you for all the reviews and follows. It truly means a lot to me.
Translation: Toujours pur, toujours noir, laisse-moi entrer, ouvre-toi pour moi - Always pure, always black, let me enter, open up for me.