I'm back. Work and life got crazy all of a sudden. Scarlett gets a case of nerves here. Always wondered how it was right before the wedding...Let me know. Have a small part two in the works...if anyone wants to see it.
Two Years and Change
They were dinning at the National. Their last official dinner before they became husband and wife, in fact, this was the last time that they would set eyes on one another prior to their wedding.
The evening had started out well enough. Rhett had shown up, at Aunt Pitty's an hour prior to their engagement, so that he may take a cup of tea with the elderly matron, Scarlett's aunt, and chaperone. He had acted formally, taken tea in the parlor, sans Scarlett and kindly reassured the woman that henceforth Scarlett would be taken care off to the best of his abilities. He had nodded kindly, and tried to assuage her most ridiculous fussing; assuring her without insult or any insinuation that he would henceforth maintain both Wade and Ella ,as well as the bulk of the Peachtree expenses.
He had bowed lightly to mammy, who had glared at him from across the room, and Uncle Peter, thanking them both for their fine influence and their ability to safely chaperone her throughout the war years, and in the past months since Frank's demise. Uncle Peter, had bowed down to the waist thanking Captain Butler effusively, and commenting over and over that he had been "simply doin' my job" Mammy on the other hand had eyed him suspiciously, before mumbling something along the lines of, "Haven't been watchin' my lamb close 'nuff !" wich caused Rhett to break into his famous, wide grin.
The carriage ride had been quiet, he held Scarlett's hand pressed between his own, and silently observed her as she gazed out the window. The soft glow of the evening light cast shadows on her face, and added a melancholy tone to her features. He knew she had been skeptical at first of their union, but after nearly a year of active courtship, and many, many happy times shared between the two of them, he had truly believed that she had been looking forward to their big day.
During the desert course, in a quiet and secluded area of the dining room, he reached out and took her hand. "What is it Darling?" He asked, softly, "You've been a million miles away all evening."
"I suppose I'm nervous." She answered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before retracting it.
"You can't be too nervous," he chuckled, "it's not as if it's your first wedding…you've had plenty of practice walking down the aisle."
"Oh stop it you cad, "she broke into a small smile, "It's just that I wonder….I wonder if we're making a mistake that's all."
"Oh, is that all?" he asked finishing his wine in one gulp, and shaking his head before returning the glass to the table. "Good God Scarlett, it's two days prior to our wedding, now is the time that you chose to share this sentiment?"
"Well," she shrugged, "I knew you'd be angry. And it's not as if I won't go through with it….I just wonder that's all."
He leaned back into his chair, and fixed his eyes on hers. "I'm not angry Scarlett, I just simply hoped that my future wife would deem our nuptials something to look forward to instead of….something she had to….merely….er…'go through with' , my word"
"I knew you would take this the wrong way, it's not that way at all it's just that…well we've become such good friends in this past year Rhett, and once we're wed, well I know things won't be the same between us, I know they won't…and that makes me wonder that's all."
"Well of course they won't be the same darling," he smiled, reaching out to take her hand again, and holding it firmly. "They'll be better, much better…and much more fun, you'll see."
"How," she asked pouting, "How will they be better?"
"Well first of all," he smiled, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "I'll be able to see you whenever I want without having to run the gauntlet of your Aunt Pitty, and Uncle Peter and worst of all Mammy! And I might even be able to show you some affection without running the risk of receiving a rolling pin about the head."
Scarlett laughed and threw her head back. Oh he did make her laugh; Rhett Butler had a way of alleviating all of her worries, no matter what.
"Honestly Scarlett," he continued, "The last time we were in the parlor together, I felt that I was at serious risk of injury."
Scarlett drew her free hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter as she recalled a very recent and somewhat passionate moment that had transpired between her and Rhett in Aunt Pitty's parlor. With Uncle Peter off to collect Prissy and Wade, Aunt Pitty retired upstairs for her afternoon rest, and Mammy off in the kitchen they had taken some unusual liberties.
One kiss had turned to two, and two into three, until Rhett, never having been accustomed to such strictly confined advances had let his hand roam up her arm until his fingers hovered just above her breast. Scarlett had her head thrown back and her eyes closed in the throws of passion, and Rhett with his face buried in her neck had not noticed Mammy, who entered the parlor and stood there gaping, a hand on her apron, and the other yielding a rolling pin.
"Cap'n Butler!" she had hollered. "I don know what you is used to, but that type a behavior aint permitted here! You bes be keepin yo hands to yerself, and Miss Scarlett!" she glared at her with eyes that grew as wide and round as saucers, "You aint ma lamb no more, but don you think I won drag you upstairs by yo ear if I need to. You aint got no business behavin' such a way. You get yo self up them stairs, fo yo' mama be rollin in her grave. And cap'n Butler, I suspect this tea time is over!"
Rhett laughed on, "I'll be glad to not have Mammy hindering my every advance, of that you can be certain!"
Scarlett smiled, "It was fun though, was it not, having all of those clandestine encounters, why it made me feel like a maiden again."
"It was a delight," he conceded sarcastically, "But I look forward to not having my affections thwarted."
Even in the darkened room his eyes burned brightly. Scarlett had never known a man like Rhett. A man who's very blood ran with passion. Yes he had been respectful, extremely respectful of her desire to maintain her virtue, throughout their long courtship, but she knew that once that ring slipped on her finger, his vigor would hold no bounds.
And now, with their wedding night just two short days away she grew nervous, quite nervous indeed. It wasn't as if she was necessarily nervous of the act itself. Why despite, her coquetry she was no maiden. She had married twice and borne two children, certainly she was no stranger to the secrets of the marriage bed.
The simple fact of the matter was that she found no absolutely no pleasure in the act. In fact the very thought of it, made her skin crawl. She felt it was awkward and uncomfortable, and had always felt, after the brief mandatory encounters with her husbands, quite humiliated and ashamed.
Rhett on the other hand, made no efforts to hide his ardor. Why it was as if passion embodied his very soul. Oh he had made it quite clear, on more than one occasion that he simply could not wait to get his hands upon her. In fact, she quite suspected that the only reason he had actually proposed matrimony was the mere circumstance that he was absolutely certain he could not have had her in any other way.
And now, with this big even right around the corner, she suspected that she somehow would have to try and muster some enthusiasm within herself. And if she could not, would he be disappointed? She did not even know if a man could tell whether or not his fumbling repulsed the woman he was with or not. Her two previous husbands had certainly not taken any notice. But somehow, somehow she suspected Rhett would. She felt sure that he would notice and then….well she didn't even want to think on what would happen.
He had experience, plenty of it, with wanton woman, and certainly they knew more about the ways to please a man than she did. Good Lord would he expect those things from her? Those things, being of course, things she had no idea about. She suspected, that perhaps there was more to relations then lying immobilized whilst gritting your teeth and hoping for brevity.
And it was this aspect, this very real and carnal aspect of their wedding that filled her with trepidation.
"A-hem" Rhett cleared his throat, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze again, "My pet you're wandering again. Should I worry?" He asked, with a slight teasing lilt in his voice, though when she looked up, there was indeed no humor in his dark eyes. "You aren't going to leave me at the altar are you my pet?"
"Oh fie Rhett!" she exclaimed, "Don't be so….melodramatic….I'm just a little…pre-occupied that's all. Why a woman has every right to be a bit on edge before her wedding night…I mean wedding day doesn't she?"
Even though she had corrected her mistake quickly, and pulled a napkin up to dab at her lips in order to try and hide the flush that was quickly spreading on her cheeks, all of her efforts had been in vain. Rhett Butler had caught her careless slip of the tongue and had understood in an instant where the direct root of all her worry lay.
"Ahhh, so I see," he said leaning his head back, and suppressing a smile that risked making an appearance on his handsome face, "It is the wedding day that makes you a tad nervous. " He wiped his mouth and dropped the napkin unceremoniously atop the table. "Well, you have misguided nerves my pet, I assure you, and everything will be in order. We've a short ceremony, and the reception following is bound to go off without a hitch, I believe Miss Melly has put the better part of the past month planning it. Now come my darling," he stood and with a bowed head offered her his hand, "come stroll the gardens with me so I may enjoy my last cigar with you as a single man."
Scarlett smiled lightly and took his hand allowing herself to be led into the massive hotel gardens. This past year, with Rhett had indeed been a bit of a whirlwind. Why, Rhett had asked her to be his wife practically before Frank's body had gone into the ground. And though she had initially thought that she would never fall into the institution of marriage again, something about the way Rhett described it, something about his smiling face, and his deep longfull eyes and his smoldering kisses had made her say yes.
Indeed she had said yes, and accepted a marriage proposal in the very parlor where her deceased husband had lain a mere twenty four hours earlier. If her hand in Frank's death did not strike her straight to hell, well surely having done that, and letting herself succumb to Rhett's passionate embrace, in that very parlor would seal her deal with the devil himself.
But despite the devil, and her almost certain future residence in the nether regions of the universe, she had said yes. Or, perhaps Rhett was the devil himself, for his lips and his hands and his swarthy good looks, when combined with the reality of his limitless fortune had rendered her unable to deny him anything, well…almost anything
After she had agreed, why he had simply disappeared, disappeared from the parlor, from Atlanta ,and from her life, for nearly four months.
And those four months had been so busy for Scarlett, so busy; she had actually almost forgotten her promise. Well, of course she remembered, but she hardly ever thought on it, why she had the mills, and the store, not to mention Wade, and a constantly squawking Ella. Truth be told, when on the eve of the fifth month, she opened the door to find Rhett Butler grinning broadly on her front porch she had been a bit surprised.
But now, with her hand tucked neatly within the crook of his arm, strolling the darkened paths of the hotel's magnificent gardens, the reality of her impending union was so real, and so close at hand, her worries could no longer procrastinate, and she had been forced to grasp them all at once. Never mind the promise of a lifetime spent with Rhett, a man she did not love and who more often than not had the power to drive her to the very brink of madness. Bu she had very much, in a never mentioned but clearly understood exchange, promised her body to him as well. And though she was certain she would be able to ignore, and put off his near constant bantering and goading attacks on her nature, she was quite certain she would not be able to do the same where her virtue was concerned.
It was finally time, as her Pa, the great Gerald O'Hara had often said, to pay the fiddler.
Fortunately her anxious reverie was once again interrupted by Rhett as he pulled her up into the dimly lit gazebo and held her loosely in his arms.
"Alright Scarlett," he said solemnly, resting his cigar on the ledge of the structure, "You can't fool me any longer, I noticed your erroneous slip of the tongue during dinner my pet, and I must say…though I did suspect a bit of apprehension concerning our first ….er…union, I never once imagined …."
"Oh stop it Rhett!" she struggled to pull herself out of his loose hold, "what I said at diner was a slip of a tongue a nothing more….don't be so…conceited. Not everything revolves around you!"
He laughed quietly and picked up his cigar again, leaning himself casually back against the railing, and folding his arms against his broad chest. "Well I'm happy then," he exclaimed with bravado, "because I'm quite keen on the prospect of our wedding night and I would hate to have your nerves spoil the fun."
"Oh you are so vile!" she exclaimed, and though she was teasing, he took caution to note that there was a true hint of tension in her voice. "Is there nothing you don't see fit to goad me over?"
He walked over and placing his hands on her waist turned her to face him. "You're right Scarlett, "he said softly, "I was baiting you. But only because I can see you are so ….concerned about that night, and I'm trying to understand why."
She closed her eyes and shook her head softly, thinking about the words and choosing them carefully. "These past couple of years," she began slowly, "You've become as good friend as I've ever had…and now…everything will change."
"It will change," he answered her softly, "I'll be an even better friend to you Scarlett, I'll be your husband."
"Aug!" she said in frustration, her green eyes opening up and he could see the tears of her frustration, her inability to make him understand coming to the surface. "And as a husband you'll expect to take my body when you see fit….and judging from your….ah…temperament during the past few months I am guessing it will be quite often! How can you…" she paused for a moment, then fixed her eyes on his, "how can you expect me to remain your friend after …..after…..all of that ?"
He stopped and his eyebrows shot up. Rhett Butler was very possibly, for the first time in his adult life rendered totally and completely speechless. He didn't know what to think or how to possibly respond to such a clear and frank admission. He had always known that her previous husbands had held no pleasures for her, but Lord during the course of the past year they had shared more than one quite heated embrace that had sent him home aching and he had quite suspected they had done the same to her. Perhaps he had been wrong.
Perhaps again, it was him she did not want to be with. Well he was quite certain that she found him attractive, her racing heartbeat and stammering exclamations had made that quite clear. Perhaps it was the notion of his…ardor. Did she perchance think he would be unable to keep himself in check? Could it be his size, did she fear that she would be overpowered by his sheer mass, forced somehow against her desires. Did she even have desires?
"Scarlett," he began earnestly, then paused for a moment and swallowed audibly. "Scarlett," he began again.
"My word," she exclaimed softly. "I've managed the impossible. I've shocked the great Captain Butler to silence."
"Well I…it's just that I had no idea Scarlett. We've shared so many embraces…and they've grown quite heated…how could I even begin to suspect you felt so…strongly about…er…"he finished, letting the sentence dangle lamely between them.
"Do you see now why I never told you?" she asked quietly.
"I do, but certainly you could have…mentioned."
"Should I be concerned now?" she asked pointedly, "Will I be the one left at the altar?"
"Good Lord no!" he raised his hand and carefully cupped her cheek. "You have a case of the nerves Scarlett. Like any new bride, but perhaps worse, because while they have no idea of what the marriage bed will bring, and they can only begin to imagine, you on the other hand, are quite certain. But I assure you my pet, what you experienced before, and what you will experience with me are worlds apart. Incomparable acts. And I promise you, you need not worry."
"So, you won't leave me at the altar?" she asked lamely, an attempt at humor.
"No," he answered with a smirk and a soft chuckle, "I will not leave you at the altar and I most definitely will not force myself upon you on our wedding night. Ahem, or any night thereafter. Of that you can be certain."
She smiled softly and pressed her lips together in a line, "May I be as bold as to hope that there might be separate ….arrangements at first?"
He chuckled softly, "There won't be separate chambers Scarlett, and not even separate beds. I said I would not force myself upon you and I won't, but I certainly expect to have you in my arms for the entirety of the night….and every night thereafter. What you chose to do once you are there will be entirely up to you."
"So you will be amiable to a chaste marriage?" she asked, her eyebrow shooting up into a perfect arch.
'Heavens no!" he guffawed, "And neither will you. I have had every indication my pet that once we get over this distracting case of nerves that you've acquired, chastity will not be on your mind for long!"
"Oh you horrible arrogant thing you!" she seethed, smacking him on the chest in irritation. "How dare you even suggest."
"I dare," he said with a wink, and that long slow Charlestonian drawl which he reserved especially for this occasion, an occasion where a severe case of knee buckling was in order. "I can be quite persuasive in my manner," he whispered softly in her ear.
"Hmmm" she sighed, her arms reaching out, almost on their own accord to wrap around his neck.
"You see," he whispered softly as he began to place a long succession of feather light kisses along the length of her neck, followed by a somewhat sharp nip which brought her quickly back to attention.
"Ouch!" she hollered bringing her hand up to her neck.
"You see," he continued briskly, with a laugh, and his taunting voice; his slow amorous purr having been replaced for the moment, "quite persuasive!"
"Why you horrible cad!" she cried out her hand rubbing on her neck. "Why you better have not left a mark you conceited thing .You know my gown won't cover any of your …"
"My love bites?" he finished with a laugh, and pursed his lips quite pointedly. "You're right darling with the décolletage that I suspect you've chosen, much against my better judgment I might add, I do suppose a love bite simply won't do."
"It won't and I'm certain you've marked me." She said again.
He laughed lightly. "Remember the first time I did…mark you. Good Lord, I thought Mammy would take me by the ear and drag me out of the house. I have to say, I felt quite put off by her angry glares."
"You felt put off ?" she asked incredulously, "Why the nerve, you have no idea what she put me through, she spent the better half of the morning chastising me, and bringing up compresses of witch hazel !"
"Well if they worked," he started with a laugh, "I suggest that you might want to try one upon your neck this evening, just in case."
"My God Rhett, have you no head?" she gasped in irritation. "How could you have left a mark?"
"I do have a head," he replied solemnly, pulling her close again, and placing a gentle kiss atop of the bite mark. "But I was using it for other matters, far more important matters."
"Oh fie! What could those possibly be?" she quipped, looking up happily into his eyes.
"Calming my future wife's errant nerves." He replied with a gentle smile, "and reassuring her, wholeheartedly so that she will not have a single worry in her pretty little head that will ruin her wedding day."
She looked up at him, and she saw, despite the raw hunger, and the open sensuality, she saw that in those dark eyes, in that lazy smile there was still her friend, her dearest friend. The one who spent the better half of the past year making sure that she knew, undoubtedly, that choosing to spend the rest of her life with him, would be no mistake.
Oh they had fought, often like cats and dogs, he had teased and goaded and baited her to no end. He had mocked her business sensibilities, her mothering skills and what he described as her gaudy and ostentatious taste in fashion. Oh he disagreed with her on politics, etiquette and religion. He had no hold on morals, and could care less about his tainted reputation. But he was also sweet and kind, and intelligent. He was more handsome than should be allowed, and could charm the pants of the devil if he so desired. Oh he was generous, he spoiled her to distraction. And he was witty, and cheeky and just plain fun. He could draw a smile and laughter out of her on any given day. And she could tell him anything, anything at all.
And when she thought of him, of spending the rest of her life with him. Of fights, and anger and laughter and dancing and yes, even of relations, countless of intimate passionate moments that she was certain their life would have, after this evening, despite the ever present case of nerves, she felt quite certain, certain and determined and truth be told, even a bit happy to be marching down the aisle.
He smiled again, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "I take it, I've calmed your nerves my pet?" he asked. Then he stood and taking her hand inside the crook of his arm he commenced heading back towards the front of the hotel and their awaiting carriage.
"I better get you home," he started, as if their previous discussion had never occurred at all, "home to your nice chaste, lonely bed. You'll need plenty of rest my pet, so don't stay up too late listening to dear Pitty's warning's about the dangers of the marriage bed with a scoundrel like me…..I don't want her to strike more fear into that already weary heart….and speaking of fear, I'm afraid our genteel encounter has pushed us well past your curfew, and un-chaperoned as well miss, with a blackguard no less! My word Scarlett, I don't know who should be more afraid to set foot on Pitty's porch, you or I ? I am no coward my pet, but I assure you, if we spot Mammy on the front porch with a rolling pin in her hand I will simply refuse to leave the haven of our carriage, and furthermore….."
And the last evening of their single, unwed lives continued in that very same manner, Rhett's random rambleing, and Scarlett's stiffeled, annoyed giggles. She knew well what he was up to, and though his un-ending discourse was irritating at times, the gentle pressure of his hand around hers, and the warmth of his voice, did wonders to relieve her nerves. And she smiled to herself, as she looked out the window, and thought perhaps he was right, perhaps this marriage would be different, perhaps it would be fun.