Hi everyone! Thanks for the earlier reviews and sorry for the delay. This will be my last update before Xmas because I am going home to see my family! Who's happy? I am!

So please leave reviews…and when the New Year is here I will def update ASAP!

This isn't the end of the story…I definitely want to continue with it…but let me know if ya'll are finding yourselves bored…b/c I don't want that to happen!

Enjoy!

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"And any talk of healthiness

And any talk of connectedness

And any talk of resolving this

Leaves you running for the door"

--Alanis Morrisette

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Ponyboy's POV

"Don't just stand there looking at me. C'mon toss me that belt."

"You're not really leaving," I said to Crocker and hesitantly picked up his belt.

He looked up from his bag. "Shoot Curtis, we've been here over a week. Best get on the road."

I narrowed my eyes. "What did Soda say to you?" The other day I had walked in on Soda and Crock in deep conversation. Well, actually it had seemed like Soda had been doing all the talking and Crock all the listening.

Crocker waved me off. "Nothing." Noticing my glare he shook his head. "Well nothing that I'd listen to anyways."

He slapped me on the arm and grabbed for the belt in my hand. I held on to it firmly, not releasing it and he faltered. "Tell me what he said."

Running a hand through his hair, he sat on the bed. "Oh it was something to the effect of 'stop putting ideas into my brother's head'." He saw my face and continued hurriedly. "But, he's not the reason we're going."

I plopped down next to him, my face stormy. "I can't believe him. I'd expect this from Darry…but Soda…"

Crock smiled weakly. "Don't worry about it. He's just doing his job."

"Yeah and driving everyone else crazy in the process," I spouted exasperatedly and then stopped when I noticed Crock's face. "What? What's wrong?"

"I just need to get out of here Curtis. Every time I sit still for too long –doesn't matter the place-I start to remember…over there…you know? I need to stay busy."

Slowly, I nodded. "But what are you going to do Crocker? Run your whole life?" Even as I said it I knew he'd try. Hell, I'd been trying that myself.

Staring at the floor he half-laughed, half-choked. "Guys I knew were killed. My friends. And I think about it everyday. I don't know if I can ever forget…"

"You won't," I blurted out sharply. "It hasn't gotten any easier for me." Crock looked up at me in surprise and I finally told him about Johnny and Dallas.

When I'd finished he leaned back and whistled. "Shit Curtis. No wonder you're so screwed up." Silence filled the air and then we bust up laughing. When we had calmed down, his face became serious. "I really wish you could come with us. Maybe you need a change of scene."

"I already had that," I chuckled. "I ended up with a bullet in the stomach."

Crocker cocked his head. "Good point. Now give me that damn belt willya so I can pack."

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I helped Shep with the bags and he slammed the Mustang's trunk shut. He nodded at my brother's on the porch. "Think they'd notice if I stuffed you in too?"

"Yeah, I'm sure they would," I said distractedly as I watched Crocker shake hands with Darry and Soda. I noticed, with wry amusement that Soda avoided my gaze. Yet, I wasn't mad at him anymore. I was consigned to the idea that he would always be looking out for me…much to my deep regret.

"Ready?" Shep asked as Crocker approached us.

"Yup. I got the Slim Jim's if you've got the keys."

"Sure do, buddy. Sure-" Shep's face broke out into exaggerated panic as he patted his jeans pocket and found it empty.

"Shep, they're in the trunk keyhole," Crocker said bluntly. I pulled them out and tossed them to Shep.

"Now I'm ready," he said catching them. Turning to me, he hugged me. "Take care of yourself. Watch out for the clap."

I snorted and wriggled out of his embrace. "Take your own advice." Shep shot me a salute and jumped in the driver's seat.

"Well Curtis, it's your turn to visit next." Crock told me, gripping my shoulder. "We'll call when we get a place."

This time, I hugged him hard, trying to stamp out the lump in my throat. Then it came from nowhere: "Don't do anything stupid," I said randomly, giving him the same advice Steve had gave me the other night.

He pulled back to look at me strangely. "You worry too much."

I smiled weakly. "I know."

Shep gunned the motor and Crocker hopped in. "See ya kid!" he hollered as they drove away.

I watched the car disappear and I stayed glued to my spot on the sidewalk. What in the world was I going to do now?

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