Author Notes:

Ready for that explaniation? Ready for a bit more angst? Ready for Jake?

Sorry for the delay; I got the sick. :(

Disclaimer: Thanks to the might Two-Zeus, SM, for letting us play with her creation.

~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~

"It's not what you think." The last thing I needed was Bella thinking I was seeing someone. It wasn't true, but I knew based on my reaction inside the house and the way I'd handled it, she already thought I was.

"And yet you still aren't clarifying." Her voice was tight and strained.

"Let's go back to my house and we can talk."

"No. Take me home."

Fuck. I'd seen Bella mad a few times, and it wasn't something I ever wanted directed at me. I'd kept something from her; something I shouldn't have and I was a jerk for that. "Before you go thinking the worst, let me at least move down the block. I don't want to have this conversation outside their house."

She nodded in agreement after casting a quick glance up to James and Victoria's house. I started the engine, drove about three blocks down the road, pulled up to the curb, and killed the engine. I looked over at Bella. She sat with her arms crossed, her eyes fixed on the dashboard.

"Remember last week when I was over at my parent's house? My dad was talking about this new doctor at the hospital. She just moved here from Seattle and doesn't know anyone. Dad asked if I thought it would be a good idea for her to come over for dinner and I . . . uh . . . I was too busy thinking about you, and how I said I'd call you back Saturday, and I missed a rather key part of what he said. Turns out he was asking if I'd like to meet her over dinner at their place Wednesday night. I never would have known I was supposed to be there if he hadn't called me at six that night asking where I was. As it was, I thought I was just late for dinner with my parents. I didn't know it was a . . . a . . . thing until I got there.

"Anyway, the whole thing was a nightmare. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but . . . I honestly didn't know until it happened and then, I . . . I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I kept this from you."

She was silent for moment, then said, "What's her name?"

Okay, that was not what I was expecting. "Who?"

"This fabulous doctor chick your dad wanted to hook you up with?"

"Uh . . . Jane something. She's a pain management specialist. Frankly speaking, she scared the crap out of me."

Bella's lips twisted briefly, before I heard her snicker. "You mean worse than Rose?"

I laughed with her. "Bells, she made Rose look like Miss Congeniality."

"Fuck. Hope she didn't get your phone number," Bella teased.

I laughed nervously. I hoped that our being able to joke about this meant that we were okay again. "I made sure my dad knew I wasn't interested."

Bella bit her lip nervously and she seemed deep in thought. After a few seconds of neither of us saying anything, I started the car. I waited to see if she would object to heading back to our side of town, but she didn't. It wasn't until we were back on the 101 and heading out of Studio City that she said something.

"What is your type, Eddie?" she asked quietly.

"Mine? Uh . . . well, it isn't Rose or that Jane girl, that's for sure." I laughed.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her small smile. "Well, that's obvious. Aside from not liking girls who fuck your brother or scare the crap out of you, what do you like?"

I hesitated in answering her. If I spoke honestly and said 'Her,' I'd risk losing Bella as my friend because I was starting to realize I was falling for her and she only viewed me as a friend. If I gave her some vague list, I risked her trying to set me up. There was only one way to answer this – lob the ball back in her court. I could feel her out based on her answer, and then give her my own.

"What's your type, Swan? Other than me, that is." Yes, humor was the best way to offset the seriousness of the question or rather, the reality of the answer.

"Well, it isn't Jake, that's for sure."

Damn it. That plan failed.

We didn't say anything else until the exit to Silver Lake. The urge to take her hand a few times hit me out of nowhere, but that would make this night out seem more like a date than just two friends hanging out. Bella was looking out the car window and I could just barely make out her reflection as cars passed. She looked like she always did – flat out gorgeous and making me fucking ache for her. For as much as I'd thought about having sex with Bella, in the past week, those thoughts shifted to not thinking of her that way. Between my own thoughts and James' comments, I knew the day was coming when I had to admit what I was really feeling, but I couldn't. Not now, not after tonight and the bullshit date I hadn't told her about.

We pulled up to her house, still not saying a word. I turned the car off and looked over at her. "You're castle, malady." Bella chuckled lightly but that was it. I needed to change the mood in the car and fast. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"Laundry. Why?"

"Let's go to Disneyland! We can be dorks and get matching mouse ears and ride Small World together." It was the single most ridiculous thing I could think of on the fly.

Bella's eyes went wide and I swear the girl stammered. "Um, why – why Disneyland?"

"Because, Belly, we've never done it! Everyone goes, and we never have. Let's do it!" I had to admit, I was secretly hoping she would say yes. Even as I spoke, I could imagine how crazy it would be if we actually did.

"Yeah, um . . . ."

"Oh please. You can't seriously be thinking of saying no to this idea. It's fucking brilliant and you know it. It's Disney and Small World!"

She looked like she was about to give in, but something else was hiding behind her eyes. Interesting.

"Okay, listen. I won't make you ride that fucking orange thing at Cal-venture, okay? I know you said you hated that thing, and I'm willing to ditch the idea of us getting matching ears if that's what it takes to get you to say yes."

I could see her caving so I didn't say another word. I just sat there, coaxing Bella with the looks I was giving her.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "Okay, fine. I'll go, but I swear to God, you even put those damn ears on me, I'll crack your balls so hard, you could be the new voice of Mickey. And no Small World, like at all. Just . . . no. No Small World."

"Deal." I offered her my hand to shake to close the deal. She dropped her head, shaking it as she giggled. Without thinking, I tugged her toward me and kissed her. It took her only a second to kiss me back and I won't lie, it was better than any kiss we'd had. But I also realized how inappropriate it was. This wasn't a date; it was two friends hanging out with other friends. I silently cursed myself for the slip, and stopped kissing her, my face still touching hers.

"Sorry. I don't know why I did that," I whispered. My heart was begging me to kiss her again and my cock was cheering it on because he thought sex was next. But it wasn't right. I was outside her house, at almost one in the morning, kissing my best friend as if we had been on a proper date. If my omission about Freaky Jane wasn't enough to fuck the night up, the kiss surely was.

"Yeah." It was all she said, but it said so much; she hadn't forgiven me and I'd just fucked up. "Um, it's not that I don't want you to, but I'm kind of . . . out of commission . . . for the next week."

What?

Oh!

Right, got it.

"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry."

"Not as much as I am," she said.

"Right, well I'll . . . uh . . . let you go then?"

Bella smiled again, but it was an awkward smile at best. "Yeah. Sorry."

"No, no. It's all good. Um, how about I come and get you about one tomorrow?"

"Sure." Bella nodded and pulled the handle on the door.

"Right. Let me walk you to the door."

I jumped out of the car and met her just as she was getting out of the car. As I walked behind her, I started to hum that damn song from Small World.

"Dude, stop it. I seriously don't want that song stuck in my head." She may have tried to sound threatening, but the laughter in her voice was giving her away.

She got her keys from her bag and opened the door and I kept humming the song. "Eddie, I swear to God. If you don't knock that shit off, I'm cutting you off from Olympus."

Teasingly, I put on my best 'yes, ma'am' face. "Got it."

Just as she was walking into her house, I swatted her ass and then booked it back to the car, leaving Bella laughing in the doorway. I waited to make sure she closed the door before I left.

As I pulled into my driveway, my phone buzzed with a text. It was from Bella.

Son of a bitch. That song is stuck in my head now. Thanks.

I texted back a 'you're welcome' with a little winking dude.

I went in the house and after making sure the house was locked up; I went downstairs to get ready for bed. Not ready for sleep yet, I turned on the television and stretched out in bed. Friends was on and for as much as I liked the show, it wasn't really something I wanted to watch. That is until I heard them talking about Small World.

Oh, I was so going to tease Bella about this tomorrow.

~*M*O*~

I didn't get to tease Bella about the episode. I woke up to a text from her telling me she had to cancel our plans. No reason, just that she couldn't go. I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe the unexpected kiss I'd planted on her in the car was the reason behind it. I called her and found, to my relief that it wasn't. She was . . . how to say this delicately . . . cramping. After a few minutes of coaxing her, I got her to at least go to the Red Box with me to grab a video to watch at her house. I picked her up at five, we picked out a DVD, and then we hit up a local Thai restaurant to get some carry out. We'd no sooner placed our order, grabbed our beers, and sat down at a table to wait when fucking Satan walked in with his hell-bitch. I prayed Bella didn't see Jake and his trollop, but it was only a matter of time before she did – the restaurant wasn't that big.

Bella's hand gripped my thigh and I seriously thought I would end up with a massive bruise from her hand. "Fuck. He's here. What the hell is he doing here?" Bella spoke in a hushed tone close to my ear. "He doesn't even live in this area."

"Let's ignore him and hope he goes away." I knew better; Jacob was like a festering boil that would only go away if it were lanced. No, best I could hope for was that whatever came of this wasn't as bad as their fights post-break up had been on Bella.

I watched Bella watching Jake and his girlfriend. She appeared mostly annoyed and I hoped that was the only emotion that would surface. They paid for their order, and then as soon as they turned around, Jake noticed Bella. He had a smug- ass look on his face and after collecting his girl around the waist like a trophy, he walked directly to our table.

"Bella! How unexpected to see you here," Jacob said; the smarm was practically oozing out of him.

"Rather surprised to see you here, frankly. What brings you out of the safety of the West H, Hades?"

Jacob puffed up his chest, pulled his girlfriend closer, and said, "Ness likes the food here. She read about this place on a blog and so we came out. I think we actually had our first date here, didn't we, gorgeous girl?"

I nearly threw up. "Seriously, man?"

"What?" Jake asked imposingly.

"You brought her here?" Bella asked, noticing my train of thought. "You had your first date at my Thai place? You prick!"

Jacob pulled in a deep breath. "Bella, as I've told you before, I can do without your name calling."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

The wheels were still spinning in Bella's head. "I can't believe this – I can't believe you! You didn't bring her here for a first date; you fucking met her here."

Hell hath no fury if that shit's true.

"No, as I just said, she found this place on a blog and I brought her here." He spoke as if Bella was simple-minded and it pissed me off.

"That'd be a neat trick considering she can't read," Bella said with venom clear in her voice.

"Hey!" Nessie objected. It fell on deaf ears.

Get 'em, Bells! Nail is slimy ass to the wall! Mental cheerleading is under-rated. Bella was holding her own against him. Still, he was hovering in dangerous territory. One wrong word and I'd be the one wiping the floor with his ass.

Jacob dropped his arm from Nessie and took a small step forward. He was practically seething. "Bella, don't let your jealousy show; it's rather unbecoming."

"My what?" She dropped her voice, trying hard not to make a scene.

"I still can't believe I went out with you. Besides your constant jumping to conclusions, you always were a bitch . . . not to mention a lousy lay."

Yup, he hit my kill button.

I stood quickly, and my chair clattered behind me as it hit the ground. "Apologize to her."

Jacob laughed cruelly. "Why? For being the one that finally told her the truth?"

I couldn't stop myself from sneering. "Apologize. To. Her."

"Edward, he's not worth it," Bella said, tugging on my shirt hem.

Jacob looked between the two of us, then his lip curled up in a twisted grin. "Neither is she." He motioned to Bella.

"What does that mean?" I fisted my hands at my sides.

"You should know; you're clearly fucking her, though I can't understand why anyone would."

My arm pulled back out of instinct and aimed straight to his head when Bella grabbed my arm. "Edward, don't." Hearing the desperation in her voice was the only thing that stopped me.

"Keep talking, fucker; she won't stop me next time," I warned.

"Man, you are so fucking pussy whipped, it's pathetic. You two deserve each other." Jacob hooked his arm around Nessie and said, "Come on, baby."

My temper was hitting a boiling point and it took every ounce of whom I was as a man to not follow them out and sucker punch the fucker in the parking lot. I stayed rooted where I stood and watched them walk out, then righted my chair, and sat down. It would be a few minutes before my anger calmed down enough to where I could think of something other than smashing his face in. The white-hot anger was still coursing through me when I looked at Bella. She was still in the chair, her hands lay limp in her lap, and her eyes were staring blankly at the table.

"Bella . . . he's an asshole." I reached a hand across the table but she didn't acknowledge it. "You should have let me hit him."

"I want to go home." She spoke so quietly, I knew if she tried to speak louder, there might have been tears.

I offered her my hand and once she took it, I urged her out of the seat. As we walked to the car, I couldn't help but put my arm around her shoulders and pull her against me. If that douche bag was in the parking lot, I'd hit him regardless of what Bella wanted.

We drove back to her house in silence; Bella looked out the window the entire time. I parked the car and wasn't sure what to do next. I'd always heard about her interactions with Jacob after the fact. By the time she gave me the 411, she'd already passed the hurt and was in the pissed off stage. No mistaking where she was now – the hurt stage. I wanted to say something but I had no idea what outside of the obvious – that Jake was an ass, and I'd already said that.

In a small voice, Bella asked, "Am I really that bad in bed?"

"I'm going to seriously fuck his ass up. No, Bella. You aren't. You're amazing."

"Hardly," she said; her voice was full of self-doubt and it killed me.

"Jesus, Bella, listen to me, not him. I'm not going to lie to you; I know you want honesty, but there is no way I can do that without the risk of being crass."

"Just be honest, Edward. I need honesty," she said, finally looking at me.

I looked at her, so emotionally wrecked, so vulnerable, and so hurt. "Bella, simply put, you're the best I've ever had. Don't listen to Jacob; he's a fuckwad. He's the one who's lame in bed, not you. It would be impossible for you to be bad in bed."

Bella gave me a weak smile. "That wasn't crass."

"No, it wasn't. You asked for honesty, and I gave it to you."

Bella didn't say anything for a few minutes. I could tell no matter what I said, she would still need time to process it all before she would hit the rage stage that inevitably followed.

"Edward?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yeah?"

She bit the corner of her lip nervously. "I really don't want to be alone tonight."

Her chest heaved, but not in a way I'd ever seen before. One look at her eyes told me the story her words couldn't. Without further thought, I answered her. "You got it."

A few hours and one delivered pizza later, I'd managed to get food into her, and saw her through her angry rant. I didn't disagree with a single thing she said about Jacob with one exception: that she was glad I didn't hit him. I still hadn't passed out of the angry stage and I doubted I ever would.

Bella changed into her Sunday finest: pajama pants and a tank, and I grabbed the gym bag from my trunk and changed into shorts and a tee. We tried to watch the movie we'd rented but after nearly an hour, we gave up. Bella was curled up on one side of the couch and I was on the other, a bowl of popcorn sat between us.

"Can I ask you a question?" Bella asked.

"Sure."

"Why aren't you more pissed at Emmett for sleeping with Rose? That's a pretty shitty thing that he did to you – that they both did to you."

I exhaled a long breath, and thought about her question. "Because he's my brother. Girlfriends come and go, but brothers are forever. Things were already shitty with Rose; they always had been. I won't say it didn't bother me, because it did. But he and I talked about it the day after it happened, and there wasn't anything I could say to him that was worse than what he was saying to himself. Rose . . . well you already know what she's like. She lied and told him that we'd broken up weeks before, which wasn't entirely untrue. We'd had a massive fight and I suggested we cool shit for a while. She told Emmett things were over between the two of us and since Em knows that I don't talk about my private life, he took her for her word. So she's telling him this at the same time she and I were trying to work things out – well more like she was trying to push for us to get back together and I was trying to find reasons to permanently end it. I saw her flirting with Emmett when they were around each other, but I figured she was doing it to make me jealous and try to get me to beg her to come back.

"We hadn't ever really officially broken up, but in my mind we were done anyway. So I guess when she realized she wasn't getting her way, she threw down her final bitch card, and slept with Emmett. Poor guy had no idea he was being used. I called her on his cell phone and broke up with her. I gave Emmett a box of the crap she'd left at my house and that was it."

Bella shook her head. "You're a good man, Edward. Shit like this divides a family."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but like I said, he's my brother. I can't be pissed at him because she lied and played us both."

"Well, no, but you could try to get him to break up with her. Like you said, she played you both."

"Yeah, I thought about that but Emmett's a grownup; he can make his own decisions and live with them. He knew what he was getting into and all these months later, he's still with her. So I guess whatever they have works for them."

Bella's eye showed some of the hurt I'd seen earlier that day. She offered me a small smile, and said, "You're a good man."

Her words teamed with the look on her face kicked me squarely in the gut. If I were such a good man, I'd have been able to man-the-fuck-up and sort out all the damn thoughts in my head. But the truth of the matter was, I hadn't – and one way or another, I was certain I would do something to fuck things up between us –, I felt guilt unlike any I'd felt before.

"No, I'm really not. I'm just an ass in a good man's clothing."

Bella laughed and somehow, in the moment, that made things a little better.

I awoke with a start, along with a nasty crick in my neck. Bella was curled up on the couch with her head on my lap. I'd managed to fall asleep sitting up, my head resting on the couch back. As I rolled my neck left and right, I tried to think back to the last thing Bella and I talked about. It was either how we felt, playing the Game of Life hadn't prepare us for the real world, or how the show, The Love Connection contributed to the downfall of modern dating. Either way, we'd both fallen asleep on the sofa.

As I started to wake up, I rubbed my eyes with my right hand, then noticed where my left hand was – right against Bella's breast. I moved my hand quickly and as soon as I did, Bella shifted, her hand sliding under my thigh, and she adjusted her cheek against my leg.

Fuck me, but it made me hard.

"Why did you move?" she asked, sleepily.

"I need to get you to bed," I said, rubbing her back.

"Mmmm." She clearly was more asleep than she was awake. "You really do."

The insinuation in her voice made me laugh quietly. I pat her back gently, trying to get her more alert. She sat up on the couch, still very sleepy, and with her eyes closed. I stood up, collected her hands in mine, and pulled her to her feet. With my arm secured around her waist, I guided her down the hall to her bedroom. With one hand, I pulled back the covers and laid her gently down in bed.

"Work," she mumbled.

I understood what she meant; she had to get up the next day for work, so I turned her alarm on. "It's on, Bella. I'm gonna head out." I hated leaving her but since she was relatively sound asleep, I didn't think my being there or not would matter. She'd wake up the next morning, mind focused on getting to work, and hopefully, not dwelling on what that shit-bag said to her in the restaurant.

I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me back to her as I tried to back away. "You said you'd stay with me tonight."

Immediately, images of Bella from earlier in the day flashed before my eyes. How hurt she'd been, how sad, and there was something else, too – something I couldn't put a name to, but it felt familiar.

"Sure. Let me lock up."

It took all of three minutes to check the doors and set the home alarm. As soon as I got into bed, I set my own alarm on my phone, and placed it on the nightstand. After adjusting the pillow, I tried to get to sleep, but lying next to Bella made that almost impossible. For starters, I wasreplaying what that fuck-nut Jacob said to Bella, and frankly, I wanted to rip his spine out through his nose and beat him to a bloody pulp. Not only for what he said to her today, but also for how he treated her the entire time he was with her. He was an ass to her while they dated – never caring when he got home, lying about who he was with, and for cheating on her. He was a downright prick to her when he broke up with her and while she tried to downplay how she felt about it all, the memory of how hurt she'd been never left me.

Thinking about that brought me straight back to the fact that I would end up hurting her myself. How could I not? Lately, what I had thought was just primal lust driving me to want Bella was becoming something else – something I still refused to admit. The bitch part was no matter how many times I shut down the thoughts and ignore them, I couldn't argue what I was feeling for Bella. I knew I had to face it at some point, but I didn't want to because it would mean actually admitting shit. Sex aside, Bella was my best friend and I wasn't going to do a damn thing to ruin that. Hell, for all I knew, having sex with Bella was already ruining my friendship with her. I wasn't going to lose her over something I wasn't sure was more than an infatuation. Maybe it did have the potential to be more, but I wasn't going to fuck up what was working. Not a chance. She was my best friend. Period.

. . . a best friend I had sex with.

Fuck.

The next morning, I woke up slightly before my alarm was set to go off. I'd slept like shit as it was, so it wasn't surprising, really. Bella was sound asleep, half-curled up with her back to me. I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom to change back into my clothes from the previous day, then shoved my clothes into my bag and set it by her front door. I went back to her room to collect my cell phone. On some kind of autopilot, I went to her side of the bed, and kissed her forehead. My lips may have lingered longer than necessary; go ahead and judge me.

"I gotta go, Bells. I'll call you later."

Bella stirred and moaned slightly. "'Kay." I chuckled softly, then kissed her again, this time a friendly and fast peck near her hairline and turned to leave.

As soon as I got to the doorway to her room, I looked back at her. She had rolled over, and was hugging the pillow I slept with. The image alone pulled at me to go back to her, and then there was a twisting pain in my chest. As I raked my hand through my hair, I knew without a doubt I would end up hurting her. The only unknown part was how and when, and that sucked balls.

~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~M*O~

End Notes:

Poor Edward! He's really twisted up, isn't he? And what about Jake? Nasty or what?

I'd love to hear what you think so if you would be so kind, drop off a little review in the box. :)

Thank you all so much for staying with this little story! {{hugs}}

Until next week...

xo