A/N: For any who may take issue with Amy Farrah Fowler's transgression and whether such a thing could actually happen, I suggest you refer to Season 6, Episode 3, The Higgs Boson Observation. It's canon, folks. Lots of what I write isn't but this absolutely is and there is no reason to believe that Amy only did it in Sheldon's office and Penny's apartment.

11

Amy Farrah Fowler's cell phone rang at her lab and seeing that it was Leonard Hofstadter she answered.

"Hello, Leonard."

"Hi Amy. I thought you should know that I saw Sheldon having lunch with that Nora today."

"That Is interesting information that did not appear on his iCal calendar. I too had an unusual interaction with Sheldon today in his office. And it was followed by an email from him that I found quite disturbing."

"How so?"

"Apparently he has levied six strikes against me and banished me from your apartment and his office."

"What was your infraction?"

"I would prefer not to elucidate."

"Will you take his online class?"

"Apparently that is an option he has not offered me. I fail to understand how I will be able to maintain our relationship if I am not permitted in his apartment or office."

"Well, it's not like he's ever at the apartment. He spends most of his time across the hall."

"Leonard, I am beginning to believe that he does not wish to be my boyfriend any longer."

"Amy, I'm certain that's not the case. I think he's being influenced by that Nora and Penny. I guess I'm just going to have to speed up my effort to get back together with her. Once we're back together everything will go back to normal. You'll see. And I'll speak to Sheldon about the apartment and his assistant, Alex, about the office. She'll listen to me. She kind of has a thing for me. Maybe I'll let her have a taste."

"Wouldn't that be disloyal to Penny?"

"Hey, Penny's fucking Nora. It's only right that I have some fun too. Besides, who's going to find out?"

"Alright, Leonard. Please let me know what happens. I'll be quite busy for a few days. Sheldon's email said that he will not see me at all unless I clean all of my clothing at an approved laundry and dry cleaner that doesn't make keys and provide him with scans of the receipts as proof."

"Amy, what did you do?"

"Again, I prefer not to elucidate."

"Okay, I'll let you know what happens with the apartment and the office."

The first thing Leonard did was place another call to Penny's father to make sure he was taking action to stop her from auditioning for Masters of Sex.

"Hello, Wyatt Queen here."

"Mr. Queen, it's Leonard Hofstadter."

click

"Hmm. Bad connection. Let me try again."

"Hello, Wyatt Queen here."

"Wyatt, it's Leonard again we were cut…"

click

"I guess there must be bad weather in Omaha. Let me try him on Facebook."

When Leonard looked for Wyatt Queen on his friends list he found the name was suddenly gone. When he searched for Wyatt Queen's Facebook page he saw that he had been blocked.

"Penny must have done that. I'll just send him an email."

Mr. Queen,

It's very important that we speak as soon as possible. I am very concerned about Penny. She seems to have begun associating with some very bad people and I am concerned that she may be being influenced to make some very harmful decisions.

Your friend,

Dr. Leonard Hofstadter

Leonard knew he had made the right decision when he received a reply less than five minutes later. Upon first glance he saw that it was written in all caps. He made a mental note to inform Wyatt that writing in all caps implies yelling at someone.

DR. HOFSTADTER

YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A CLUE WHEN I HUNG UP ON YOU. DO NOT CONTACT ME OR PENNY'S MOM AGAIN. AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM PENNY. I'LL REMIND YOU THAT I'M THE ONE THAT TAUGHT PENNY TO ROPE AND CASTRATE BULLS.

WYATT QUEEN

Leonard then realized that reconciling with Penny might be a bit harder than he thought. He decided to go speak to Alex about the office thing and maybe have a little fun.

Alex was packing up and getting ready to leave when Leonard walked in. He was sporting a big grin and what Nora had called his "fuck me" eyebrows.

"Hi Alex."

"Dr. Hofstadter."

"Is Sheldon in?"

"Dr. Cooper left early."

"Was he sick?"

"Dr. Hofstadter, I am not comfortable conversing with you about Dr. Cooper's health."

"Alex, I thought we were friends. And call me Leonard."

"Dr. Hofstadter. You inquired as to Dr. Cooper's presence and I responded appropriately. Now if you are quite through I need to vacate the office so that the cleaning people can do their work."

"The cleaning people work at night. It's only two o'clock."

"They are doing a special cleanup and paint job at Dr. Cooper's request. And they are also bringing in new furniture. I need to be out of their way."

"The office looks pretty clean to me."

"If you wish to get any further details about why this is necessary I suggest you speak with Dr. Fowler."

"So, anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner or something tonight."

"Dr. Hofstadter, you are making me feel uncomfortable. Please leave my office or I'll call security. And if you say one more word I will file a complaint with Human Resources."

Shocked, Leonard left.

"I wonder why she has a bug up her butt. Sheldon must have had another meltdown. Maybe I should stay away from the apartment."

Sheldon was busy at home. Everything that Amy Farrah Fowler could possibly have spread her scent on that was machine washable was down in the laundry room with Penny and Nora who volunteered to help out when Penny returned from the gym. Sheldon was hard at work cleaning every surface and object in the apartment. He was very, very angry at Amy Farrah Fowler's germ-laden invasion of his living space and office. Sheldon had also informed Howard and Raj about Amy's scent spreading and they both left early to tend to their own apartments. According to Howard it was all he could do to prevent Bernadette from going after Amy with some experimental items from her lab.

Penny and Nora came into the apartment wearing the surgical masks that Sheldon had requested they don while he was cleaning.

"Penny, per your advice I have issued Amy Farrah Fowler six strikes and banished her from the apartment and my office. I have, also at your suggestion, required that she clean all of her clothing. I don't understand why I shouldn't just terminate our Relationship Agreement right away. She has wantonly disrespected my personal boundaries as well as Alex's and all of my friends'. It is just unacceptable."

"Sheldon, I understand that you're angry. And I get that it took you a little while to process how much of a violation what Amy did was. But I really think that terminating the agreement is something you should do in person and I think it's probably appropriate that Amy should have to suffer a little before you do that. Besides, you had no plans to see her before next Thursday anyway and I promise that Nora and I will keep you very busy in the meantime. And I have a really good idea for a one-two punch that should keep Amy and Leonard out of our hair for a very long time."

"Alright, Penny. Since you are more experienced in these matters I will bow to your expertise. But I do feel very violated. And I'm also a little bit angry with you for not informing me of this sooner. It could have saved us a great deal of trouble."

"Sweetie, I get that. All that I can offer as an excuse is that I was in a bad place for a long time and it just plain didn't click in my alcohol-soaked brain. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can."

"I think you should stay over at our place tonight. I really don't want what Amy did to make you stay away from contact with other people. You're still comfortable with me and Nora, right?"

"Certainly."

"Well, I have an idea for something we can do that will really shake Amy and especially Leonard up. Do you trust me?"

"You know that I do."

"Okay. Nora and I are going back downstairs to deal with the laundry. When you're done cleaning up in here organize what you'll need to stay over with us. Okay?"

"Okay."

"One other thing. You guys have a digital camera and tripod, right?"

"Yes, they're in the living room closet. Why do you need them?"

"I'll explain later sweetie. Now I want you to make sure that Leonard sees you come over with your overnight stuff later, okay?"

"Are we trying to make Leonard think that I'm going to have coi…, um sexual intercourse with both you and Nora?"

"That's part of it, yeah. But I promise that we will not make you do a single thing that that makes you uncomfortable. I swear. And if you feel even a little bit uncomfortable all you need to do is say something and we will stop and figure out something else. Okay?"

Leonard called both Raj and Howard hoping that he could crash on one of their couches but oddly neither had returned his calls. When he checked their offices they had mysteriously left work early also. He thought he could maybe find a grad student he could charm but no luck there either. And Leslie Winkle was still on a sabbatical. So, he headed home, hoping that he didn't end up having to deal with a sick Sheldon.

When he walked into his apartment it was cleaner than it had ever been before, and that was really saying something. It practically sparkled. Sheldon emerged from the bathroom wearing a surgical mask and gloves.

"Leonard, I request that you don a mask and gloves at least until I complete my cleaning regimen."

"Buddy, what happened? Did someone with the plague stop by?"

"Almost as bad. I discovered today that when Amy Farrah Fowler wishes to establish her territory she spreads her scent, rubbing herself against or licking all manner of objects. Since she is well aware of my Mysophobia I can only conclude that she was exhibiting an utter disrespect for my personal boundaries. As a result I have banished her from my home and office and I am currently considering whether further action is warranted."

"Sheldon, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Give it a couple of days. I'm sure that we'll all be laughing about it come next week."

"That may be the case, but for now I request that you respect my cleaning regimen and don the mask and gloves."

"Sure, buddy. What are your dinner plans?"

"I'll be joining Penny and Nora. You are on your own."

"Sheldon, I was wondering whether you could put a good word in for me with Penny. I miss her."

"Leonard, I would appreciate it if you did not try to employ me as a go-between. I happen to agree with Penny that what you did on the boat was wrong and I also support her efforts to further her acting career."

"But, Sheldon, this is just a tiff. You know that she'll forgive me eventually. She always does."

"Leonard, what Penny does regarding you is her decision to make. And additionally I resent your effort this afternoon to attempt to use my assistant as a rebound relationship. Alex called me very upset with what you said to her."

"Sheldon, I think Alex misunderstood me. I invited her out to a friendly dinner as colleagues. That's all."

"Leonard, in the time that I have lived with you, you have had friendly dinners with colleagues on a number of occasions. If one were to only consider those occasions that included you and a single member of the opposite sex, every one of them resulted in you either attempting or succeeding in having coitus. Your track record betrays you. My statement regarding Alex stands."

"Fine."

"Now please wear your mask and gloves for approximately ninety minutes more. I am going across the hall."

"Sheldon, why do you have your pajamas and toothbrush?"

"I will be staying with Penny and Nora this evening. Good night, Leonard. Please lock the door behind me."

At that Sheldon left and Leonard stood there motionless, not comprehending what was going on at all."