Figuring It Out
Chapter 11-1
Maura Isles hid in her office. She hadn't been shocked to see Agent Blake, no more so than bumping into any other ex-lover. It had been a few years but the agent carried herself with the usual self-assuredness, the compact body as physically fit as ever. The keen intelligence and guile still burned brightly in her grayish-blue eyes. Their affair had been brief, fizzling out as quickly as it had started, the details scarce.
The agent hadn't appeared negatively altered by their earlier association which greatly released an old regret. Waiting for the printer to warm up, she reached back in the archives of her memory for historical specifics. She recalled Vanessa hadn't wanted to end the affair or had wanted to end it under her terms. After the first few times, Maura had begun the distancing process, a response she invoked with everyone to keep things from getting too clogged with feelings. The prideful agent had taken the news of the breakup stoically although for weeks afterward, Maura would see her in the most unlikely of places.
The absence of the printer's drone brought her out of the reverie. The past, Maura reflected as she neatly stacked the papers, isn't the problem. The problem is Jane and what might be happening between us. The mere thought of her best friend sent her pulse jumping. Ruthlessly she squashed the image of her and Jane in the kitchen, pushed up against one another, hands fisting and hungry mouths slanted. The stirring between her legs taunted the ME, a more frequent condition than she would have wished. Jane, of course, was the catalyst for such indecent musings which only caused a slow, perfectly feral glint in her eyes when she pictured raven strands plastered to her open thighs. Swift and intoxicating, the wave of desire broke over her, drowning best intentions and private recriminations. She wasn't aware of slightly crumbling the edges of paper in her hand until she heard the protesting crackle.
The warmth and solidity of her friendship with Jane anchored her in spite of the new feelings that spread like wildfire in her body. To place it into jeopardy triggered a shudder to travel the length of her spine. Their lives were woven together in a tapestry of familial unity and she couldn't imagine not having Jane in her life. All those years at the boarding school, ostracized and demeaned, had been assuaged by Jane's generosity and kindness. If not for her friendship, Maura suspected her existence would not have been as rich, as fully lived.
Like it or not, Maura couldn't stall much longer.
She received the unerring impression that she had stumbled upon a burgeoning confrontation as she approached them. Jane had the advantage given the smirk on her face. Agent Blake was tugging at her jacket cuffs, seemingly indifferent but the medical examiner had a memory that rivaled an elephant's and knew the gesture for the nervous 'tell' that it illustrated.
Wordlessly, Maura handed over the autopsy report, eyes in search of dark brown ones. She smiled gently at the detective.
"Did you get the reports we sent over?" Blake questioned as she flipped through the pages.
"Yes. I compared the pre-surgery blood work as well as the surgical pictures-"
"Wait, you had pictures of his surgery?" Jane interrupted, looking at the Federal agent. "And blood work?"
"A Federal judge agreed with our warrant to obtain that information, detective. We've had him under surveillance for three months."
"He hasn't been dead long enough for you to get a warrant and the results."
Agent Blake shrugged. "Chalk it down to the mysterious ways of American government." Done with the subject, she turned toward the medical examiner, a teasing smile on her face. "Anything else, Maura?"
"Nothing you don't already know, Agent-"
"Vanessa. I remember you used to say my first name on a regular basis." Her intimate tone left little to the imagination.
Jane, grappling with inner demons, blurted the first thing that popped into her malfunctioning head. "Yeah, Vanessa get out! Vanessa, leave! Vanessa, shut up!" It was too late to reclaim the ridiculously immature words but the mortified detective tried, clamping two hands over her gaping mouth.
Maura's skin was a dark pink from her chest to her face. Her beautiful green eyes studied the floor. Vanessa's poker face gave nothing away though she was nearly yanking the shirt sleeve down her arm.
"I…I'm just…shit, I'm sorry…I don't know why I said-I said that." Jane wheezed, heartfelt in her abject disgrace. "I'm just gonna, you know, fucking leave. Okay. Yeah."
They watched the detective hurry away, the trail of shame she left behind leaving an uncomfortable silence in its wake. Maura remained rooted to the spot, the floor tiles an object of penetrating interest.
"Are you two sleeping together?"
Vanessa's accusatory question felt like a slap, wrenching Maura out of her thoughts. "Of course not. We're friends!"
"But you want to, don't you, Maura?" she murmured slyly, clasping her hands behind her back.
"This conversation is inappropriate and quite frankly offensive, Agent Blake."
"So, you're indignant. Must mean you haven't slept with her yet. No blush."
Maura clenched her jaw but all other signs of her ire were suppressed. "You have some sort of point, I presume?"
"I never used to think I was a vindictive person." The coldness in her eyes chilled the medical examiner. "But now, well, I'm not too sure, Maura."
"Either say what you came here to say or get out." There was no mistaking her fury this time; it snapped and hissed.
Vanessa smiled so deviously, Maura wondered if the venom had always been present in the agent. "Let's just say the detective is going to look really good naked against my sheets."
Maura laughed, genuinely entertained. "Good luck with that one, Vanessa."
The agent hadn't counted on Maura's complete indifference. She had expected to rile her, make her lose the famous control.
"You don't think I can do it, do you?"
"I'm not going to goad you into trying, if that's what you want. You do thrive on a challenge and that's what makes you an outstanding agent but it also makes you a reckless, conniving woman. Pursue Jane because you find her attractive, not because you feel some need to settle a grudge."
The vehemence was rolling off Vanessa. She flexed her fingers, rolled her shoulders in an attempt to diminish the tension in her body. "What makes you think I don't want her, Maura?"
"I'm sure you do. She's very, very attractive. Did I mention she's also highly intelligent, principled, strong-willed, loyal, protective-"
"An ideal woman, I get it but what's your point?"
"She deserves someone who values those qualities, Vanessa."
"And that would be you?" She scorned, folding her arms.
Deflated, the ME rubbed a hand across her forehead. "For the last time, we're friends. That's all. Do what you want."
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Fuming, Jane sat at her desk and played with a paperclip chain. The word vomit that spewed from her mouth was…startling. The replay in her mind was in slow motion, capturing every horrid facet. For a second she was fairly convinced Agent Blake was going throttle her. Or burn me with those creepy colorless eyes.
"Hey, sister, why so glum?"
Groaning, Jane flopped down on the desk, supporting her head with her crossed forearms. "I'm a stupid jerk." When Frankie didn't respond, she lifted her head high enough for one eye to squint at him. "This is the part where you tell me I'm wonderful."
His silence spoke volumes. A swath of black hair hid her face again as she lowered her head, mumbling, "Ass. Hole."
"C'mon, Janie, it can't be that bad. What yah do?" She recapped the scene in the morgue, some of her words muffled but he thought he understood. "Wow, that's pretty childish, even for you. How'd Maura take it?"
Jane looked up again, blowing her hair out of her face. "I don't know. I just took off."
"You're gonna hafta apologize, you know that, right? And not some half-ass insincere shit neither. A real one. Like from the heart-"
"I know how to say I'm sorry!" Piqued, Jane leaned back in her chair.
"Detective Rizzoli, can I have a moment?"
Shit! "Um, sure, there's probably a conference room open." She stood up, glancing at her brother who was flashing her two thumbs up then followed Agent Blake. Great, fucking great.
The agent sat down in one of the chairs at the end of the table and leaned back, crossing her legs. Jane slid into one facing her. No one said anything. Half-tempted to leave, the detective decided to wait the other woman out, the stubborn streak Angela bemoaned clearly taking charge. Her brown eyes leisurely scanned the room to finally clash with the agent's grayish blue ones. It was immature to engage in a staring contest but Jane felt as if she had something to prove. Carefully she kept her face expressionless, her body idle.
"Do you have a problem with the fact that Maura and I were lovers?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Maybe because you acted like a ten year old?"
Jane shrugged. "I can say I'm sorry again, if that helps?"
The smile she bestowed upon the detective was wide and bright, instantly setting off Jane's internal alarm. "You're tough. I like that. I feel like we started out on the wrong foot, Jane. I'd like…" Vanessa licked her lips, her face earnest. "I'd like us to be friends?"
Oh, no, hell no! "Sounds good."
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Jane occupied the chair next to the agent when they questioned Victoria Singleton. Her eyes were smudged with mascara, the circles under them pronounced. Looking hung over and disillusioned, Victoria wasn't exactly the highly stylish and driven executive. She appeared defeated, a touch bitter. The detective supposed that getting caught perpetrating a felony often had those types of side effects.
Agent Blake was conducting the interview, employing various techniques that had Jane internally rolling her eyes. She was flawless really, from the delivery to the pregnant pauses to the long periods of quiet. Yet, it was bordering on contrived. In order to get Victoria to reveal what she categorically refrained from doing so, Jane felt a more sincere style would glean more information.
When the face-off passed the five minute mark, Jane had had enough. As discreetly as possible, she leaned next to Vanessa and whispered in her ear. The agent nodded then pushed back her chair, the legs scraping against the linoleum. Once the door was closed behind them, the agent grabbed Jane's arm and steered her toward the detective's desk.
"I allowed you in the room as a courtesy, Detective Rizzoli."
Gently but firmly, the brunette extracted her appendage from the other woman's grasp. "The interview is dead in the water."
"Giving up already?" Vanessa smirked.
"On trying to wait her out, yeah. I know you want her for intent to distribute, crossing state lines, and the rest. She doesn't have a lawyer present which is weird, isn't it? And she keeps reiterating she wants a deal, so…let's give her one?"
"Let her sit for a while longer. We'll break for dinner and if she doesn't budge, we'll do it your way."
"Fine." Jane let out a small sigh then departed, hurrying to the stairs.
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Jane rushed into the morgue only knowing she needed to see Maura and that she couldn't stand another minute without talking to her. So much had happened but nothing had been said and she just needed her friend's reassurance.
The medical examiner was washing her hands under the retractable spray nozzle hanging over two deep metal sinks. At the sight, a torrent of relief warmed the detective's limbs, releasing the constriction that had been lodged in her throat. Maura wore her hair up in a messy ponytail. Soft honey tendrils trailed down the back of her neck. Jane wanted to plant soft kisses down the expanse of skin. An anxiety rose from somewhere deep and vulnerable. Things between them were on the brink of changing and it scared her. There hadn't been time to regroup, to check in, to simply talk.
"Maura." She croaked from across the room.
Jane looked somewhat panic-stricken causing the blonde to dry her hands haphazardly. Without a word, she calmly strode over to her friend. Infinitely gentle, Maura pulled her into an embrace, running a palm up and down her long back. Jane nudged her neck with the tip of her nose then kissed a clavicle before fully wrapping her arms around her, needing the familiarity and comfort. Maura absorbed the tremors coming from the tall brunette, her focus on providing whatever security Jane required.
"I don't know why I'm acting this way." Jane whispered huskily, her lips skimming across the area below Maura's ear.
Standing on her toes, the blonde hooked her arms around the detective's neck and planted a resounding kiss upon her cheek. "We haven't had any time to process what's been going on."
Only aware of a need to be closer, neither one paid any specific attention to the change developing between them. It felt so good to touch, to be close. Jane's hands squeezed Maura's hips. It was only a matter of time before their lips sought and found one another, the sweet ache thick and heavy in their chests. It was a kiss of atonement, of things not spoken but felt nonetheless.