I don't own Glee.

No porn in this one. A bit angsty though, but you know it wouldn't be the holidays without a little bit of sour to go with the sweet. But don't let this chapter get you down; all ends well. Like the saying goes, the night is darkest before the dawn.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Although I see more people find the earlier chapters more entertaining/hilarious. Don't worry, I do too. I've kind of 'phoned in' the last couple of chapters. Don't blame me; how the fuck was I supposed to find something funny enough to replace 'ten lords-a-leaping' or 'eight ladies dancing'? So, as in real life, I turned to porn or Beyoncé, and as always, they've saved the day. Hope this one sorta-kinda makes up for the crappy past chapters. Enjoy.

Chapter Eleven

Eleven Pipers Piping

Kurt had never had such a frantic Christmas Eve. Usually he did his shopping much earlier, but the recent distractions of Puckmas along with an unusually demanding senior year left him one amongst the many of people who left their Christmas shopping until the day before. He ran around the mall, stopping at nearly every store to get something for his friends and family. He started off the day with Finn as his helper, but when the taller boy toppled into a 'Toys for Tots' charity bin after trying to retrieve the pretzel that he dropped, Kurt decided he was better off shopping alone. He let Finn go off by himself, instructing him not to talk to strangers and to call him every thirty minutes to make sure he was alright as he tied a bracelet with their address and phone number on it around his wrist just in case.

He raced from store to store, brushing by obnoxious mothers and their loud, screaming children, pushing past large, beefy ogres who took up the entire aisle while checking the price on a clearly marked item, and shoving random people out of the way as he rushed to get the last pair of anything on sale. Hours later his arms were weighed down with bags of merchandise, and his father's credit card was nearly burning a hole in his pocket as it had been swiped so much. Kurt let out a sigh of relief as he boarded the escalator and mentally went over the gifts he got for everyone.

He'd gotten a sweater vest for Artie from the Gap; a new pair of skinny jeans for Mike from Forever 21; a Clinique make-up set for Quinn; a stuffed unicorn for Brittany from Build-A-Bear; a new pair of Adidas for Mercedes; a vintage brooch and some MAC cosmetics for Tina; a Barbara Streisand greatest hits CD and some Chanel No. 5 for Rachel; a couple bowties and a gift set of Tom Ford hair styling products for Blaine; a pair of pink handcuffs and lacy underwear from Frederick's of Hollywood for Santana; some superhero t-shirts and action figures from Comics 'N Stuff for Sam; and a pound of candy, a couple video games, and some new hoodies for Finn. He got his dad some fishing lures and a new tackle box and for Carole he got a completely new outfit from Macy's along with a coupon for a day of pampering at the spa.

The hardest person to shop for was Puck. He wanted to get something appropriately fabulous for his beloved boyfriend; this was their first Christmas together, after all, and he wanted to make sure he presented him with something that was absolutely breathtaking. He racked his brain thinking of something to get him. He would look absolutely delicious in a leather jacket, Kurt thought, but he couldn't be completely sure Puck wouldn't look like an extra from Grease with a leather jacket and that mohawk of his. He thought about boots, but Puck really didn't care about footwear. Underwear…no, Puck more often than not went commando, and when he did wear them it was usually his beloved Darth Vader briefs that he wore for days without washing. Kurt thought of jewelry, but then decided against it as Puck wasn't really one to flash that around, preferring to appear more rugged than blinged out. Kurt sighed as he continued to lug around his heavy load; Puck was more difficult to buy a gift for than he thought. Usually Puck stole whatever he wanted, and if he couldn't steal it he didn't care for it. Besides, he wasn't a particularly materialistic person. He always said all he needed was Kurt and his guitar and he'd be set for life. Then it struck him. 'Of course!' Kurt thought, 'I could get him a new guitar case. But not some generic black case with coarse material, no, I could get him something better. Something much more personal.' Kurt smiled to himself as he let the images of Puck's gift fill his mind, tweaking it here and there to give it a special 'Kurt' touch.

He set his heavy bags down by the fountain as he took a seat by the edge and sipped some lemonade he'd gotten at a nearby kiosk. He flexed his fingers, the handles of the bags cutting into them as he'd held their heavy load for so long. He crossed his legs and flicked his bangs back proudly as he basked in the glory of completing all his Christmas shopping in just under four hours. He smirked, knowing a lesser person would have crumpled under the pressure, but not him; he completed the marathon, surviving suffocating conditions in more than a few stores, including nearly getting trampled on in Lady's Foot Locker and having to pull a woman's weave off in Nordstrom's. He wasn't proud of his behavior, but looking at all the bags before him and thinking of the happy reactions he'd get from all his friends when they got their gifts, he knew it had all been worth it.

He pulled out his cell phone and called Finn to tell him to meet up at the fountain as he was ready to go home.

"Finn, are you done with your shopping?" Kurt asked, taking another sip of lemonade.

"What? Hello? Kurt?" Finn yelled. By the background noise he was obviously still in a store, and a very crowded one judging by the sound. Kurt heard hangers falling to the floor and more than one high-pitched scream as he tried to get a hold of Finn.

"Finn? Can you hear me?" Kurt said into his phone. "I'm over by the fountain on the ground floor if you're ready."

"Kurt? What did you say? What about the fountain?" Finn cried. "Hey! That's mine!" He yelled, startling Kurt who was pressing his ear to the phone.

"You snooze you lose, buddy," Kurt heard an obnoxious fellow shopper cry over the phone.

"Give it back!" Finn cried, his phone clanging hard against something. Kurt rubbed his ear from all the yelling and pounding from Finn's end, and then the connection was lost as Finn's phone died. Kurt rolled his eyes, wondering why every trip to the mall with Finn somehow ended with the boy getting into an argument. Last time Finn got into a fight with a ten year old over the last chocolate-coconut cookie at Mrs. Fields.

Kurt stowed his phone away and finished his lemonade. He got up to throw it away when his eyes caught sight of his boyfriend not far down from where he was at. He excitedly ran back to gather his bags, eager to show Puck the fruits of his many hours of shopping. He trotted back to where he last spotted Puck when his heart seemed to drop out from his stomach. Puck was there, but he was talking to a random girl. Well, actually they were doing more than talking. Puck had his arm around her shoulder, and she gripped it tightly as she laughed at a joke he told that she apparently found hilarious. He pulled her tighter to his side, whispering something in her ear that made her smile widely. She nodded her stupid head, her stupid perfectly blonde hair flowing flawlessly down her back as her stupid blue eyes sparkled inside her stupid perfectly sculpted face. Then she leaned over and kissed Puck before she ruffled his mohawk and took his hand back in hers. Tears welled in Kurt's eyes as he saw Puck so at ease with another person, the strong muscled arm that used to hold him so tightly now curled around someone else, his smile now shining for her, his hands tickling her sides, and his breath hitting her ear so intimately. Time seemed to stop as Kurt took in the sight before him. He suddenly found it hard to breathe, and he was sure his mouth was gaping open like a fish as he stared at the two of them walking towards him. The bags nearly fell from his limp grasp before he steeled himself and willed his tears back. He readied himself and stalked right up to Puck, grim determination on his face and his eyes blazing. Puck turned from where he was joking with the girl when he looked up to see Kurt staring at him murderously.

"Oh, hey Princess," Puck said, still trying to catch his breath from laughing. "I thought I saw your car outside. Carole did say you got over your cold."

"Like I said yesterday, I wasn't really sick," Kurt said, his arms crossed despite the heavy bags pulling them down. "But you seem fine. Although you do seem to have some strange growth under your arm."

"What?" Puck asked, lifting his arm from around the girl's shoulder. He felt inside his shirt and up his bicep as his eyes fell onto his female friend. "Oh, you mean – ."

" - Yes," Kurt agreed, gesturing to the girl, "that."

"Babe, she's just a friend," Puck defended, smiling in order to keep the mood light despite feeling Kurt's anger reaching its boiling point. "I mean, Ruthie here – ."

" – Oh, Ruthie? So it has a name," Kurt said, eyeing the girl distastefully. "Well, whatever it's called you should really get it checked out before you put your hands on it again. You never know what sort of diseases trash could bring in from off the streets." Kurt pursed his lips and quirked his eyebrow at Ruthie, looking her up and down nastily.

"Excuse me?" Ruthie asked, taken aback. "Puck, who is this?"

"This is my boyfriend," Puck explained, running his hand through his mohawk nervously. "And right now he's royally pissed off."

"Of course I'm pissed!" Kurt exclaimed. "I just caught my boyfriend cheating on me! In public, no less!"

"What?" Ruthie and Puck said in unison. They looked at each other before smiling. "Kurt, babe, it's not what you - ."

" – You know, Noah, I never thought you'd be the cheating type, but I guess judging by your past indiscretions it was bound to happen," Kurt said icily. Puck was silent for a second before responding.

"What are you talking about?" he asked lowly.

"You cheat. It's what you do," Kurt said, his face set and his teeth gritting. "You cheated on Quinn with Santana, you got Rachel to cheat on Finn, and of course let's not forget how you got Quinn pregnant after you got her to cheat on Finn again! And who can count how many wives you've slept with over the years, making them break their marriage vows for a quick hour in bed with you! You cheat. You cheated on your girlfriends, you got others to cheat, and now you're cheating on me. I should have seen it coming a mile away," he scoffed, brushing the tears back quickly before anyone could see them. "It was just a matter of time before you found someone new to break in because you're a selfish, heartless, conceited little boy who only cares about finding a warm place to rest his dick." A crowd had started forming around the three, the onlookers engaged in the fight as if they had a personal stake in it.

"Look, Kurt is it?" Ruthie began, coming between the two. "It's not what it looks like. Puck and I were just talking," she explained.

"No, no let him think what he wants," Puck said, his jaw clenched as he looked at Kurt as if it were the first time he'd really seen him. "So, I'm a cheater, am I?" he asked. Kurt didn't have to nod for Puck to know what his response would be. "I'm just some slutty man-whore who doesn't give two fucks about anyone else, right?" Kurt continued to stare him down, refusing to answer him."You know what, Kurt? You're so full of shit," Puck growled, turning to leave.

"Puck! Wait!" Ruthie called out, her hair flipping about as she tried to bring him back to Kurt.

"I'm full of shit?" Kurt called back, throwing his bags to the floor. "You're the lying son of a bitch who didn't have the balls to tell me you were through with me to my face!" he screamed, his voice hoarse and threatening to crack. Puck turned back to look at him when Finn cut through the crowd and walked up to Kurt.

"Hey," he said, grabbing Kurt by the arm. "What's going on?"

"Stay out of this, Finn," Kurt advised, but Finn could see the hurt shining in his eyes.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" Finn yelled at Puck.

"Apparently I was caught cheating," Puck said, barely able to look at Kurt. "Am I right? Is that what you say happened here?"

"What?" Finn said, looking to Kurt for confirmation.

"Leave it alone, Finn," Kurt commanded. "I can take care of it myself."

"You cheated on him?" Finn asked, walking closer to Puck, his chest puffed and his eyes staring daggers at Puck's form. Puck looked to Kurt, waiting for him to confirm it.

"Well, Kurt," Puck said from around Finn's looming figure. "Your big bro's waiting. Did I cheat on you?" Kurt met Puck's gaze for a second before looking away, unable to stomach looking at him for much longer. This was all the approval Finn needed.

Without so much as a warning Finn pulled his arm back and slung it forward, punching an unaware Puck, splitting his lip. Puck stumbled back before getting his bearings. Wiping the blood from his mouth he growled as he lunged at Finn, the boys grappling and falling to the floor. The crowd became agitated, moving around restlessly to get a better view of the fighting boys. Kurt tried to break them apart, but they were fighting so ferociously that he was afraid of getting hurt himself. Instead he yelled at them, telling them to break it up and for Finn to leave Puck alone. They didn't listen. They continued to fight, Puck getting a few good swings at Finn before security arrived. They broke the boys up, though both were struggling against their captors as they pulled them apart.

"I told you never to hurt Kurt, you asshole!" Finn cried, his eye swelling and blood dripping from a cut on his cheek as he fought against the large security guard holding him back.

"I didn't do shit to him!" Puck yelled, his lip cut up even worse and his nose crooked as he struggled against the security guard's arms wrapped around his body.

"What are you talking about?" Finn cried. "You said – ."

"I'M GAY!" Ruthie screamed, tears forming in her eyes. The eyes of the crowd fell on her as she announced this to the world. She looked at Kurt and explained, "I'm gay and my parents found out from one of my ex-girlfriends. Puck was just helping me through it. We go to the same temple, and he heard what happened and invited me out today to show off the gift he got you for this thing…Puckmas, right?"

"I – but, I saw you," Kurt said, at a loss for words. "You were together."

"He was just trying to get me to laugh," Ruthie shrugged, biting her lip sorrowfully at the misunderstanding. "My parents haven't been taking it so well. They're conservative, old school Jews, so it's been rough for me at home. Puck was just trying to cheer me up."

"Oh," Kurt said, his eyes wide in realization. "Oh no. Noah." At the mention of his name Puck looked away from Kurt, making sure the smaller boy couldn't even catch his attention. "Noah, I'm so sorry. I thought you and her…Noah, please. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I said."

"Yeah you did," Puck said listlessly, his nostrils flaring and still refusing to look at Kurt. "Otherwise you wouldn't have said them."

"Noah," Kurt said softly, tears clouding his vision as he walked to his boyfriend. "I was just angry. Please…"

"Fuck it," Puck said, throwing the arms of the security guard off him. "You're right. I'm a selfish slutty prick. I'm incapable of love, so how could I expect someone like you to love me?" He scratched at his mohawk in a confusing mixture of sorrow and anger, blinking back tears as he stalked away without even looking at Kurt.

Kurt jogged after him, tears streaming down his face as he tried to navigate through the crowds of people walking towards him, separating him from Puck. Just as he looked ready to catch him a troupe of flutists emerged from the elevator and began circling Kurt, blocking his view of Puck's quickly retreating figure while they serenaded him with the theme song from Titanic. He tried pushing them away but apparently they knew who he was and wouldn't leave him alone, and Kurt groaned out in misery as he lost sight of Puck. The eleven pipers continued to dance merrily around him as he let the tears fall freely from his eyes, Finn finally catching up with him and holding him tight while an apologetic Ruthie followed, Kurt's shopping bags clutched tightly in her quivering hands.

And now Kurt is the one that has to find a way to make it up to Puck. And he messed up a hell of a lot more than just forgetting their anniversary, no?

Well, Merry Puckmas Eve. Thanks for reading and reviewing!