[Disclaimer] Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.

[A/N] Thanks for the great response on the last update. Your reviews always brighten up my day. I'm not making any promises about this story, but somehow it doesn't feel finished to me yet. We'll see where this is going. Thanks for being supportive. I appreciate it a lot.

*11*

My voice is hard when I command her to lean over the leather bench. My palm comes down on her backside, tuning the beautiful skin pink in front of my eyes.

She whimpers softly, her breathing too loud as she tries to hold back the noises in her throat. Being still is difficult for her.

"I hate punishing you but it's necessary. You've disobeyed me."

"I'm sorry, Mistress."

"I assure you that you will be sorry once your punishment is finished."

I walk over the cupboard holding my whips and floggers. As I carefully choose the one I'm intending to use on her, my fingers tremble in anticipation.

You can do this. You have to do this.

Slowly I circle around her, letting the leather of the whip circle down her spine, teasing her slowly. Her head is down, eyes hidden beneath a silk scarf.

"You get five strokes for neglecting the rules I set up for you. Three meals a day, do you remember?"

"But I was sick," she croaks, making me furious with her attempt of excuses. I remember sitting on her bed and taking care of her like she's a sick child. She makes me weak, soft-hearted and I can't have that. It's not who I am.

The whip smacks against her buttocks, making her gasp in a combination of pain and surprise.

"I hate excuses. The only thing I hate more is you trying to speak up against me. I won't have any of that. Ten on top of the first five it is for you. Count but don't dare to make other noises."

I take a deep breath through my nose and swing the whip through the air. It comes down on her already pink ass.

"Ohhh,"

"Count," I growl, as I hit her again, trying to use more strength this time.

"Two," she whimpers.

"Three," her voice cracks and by the time the whip slaps against her tender flesh for the sixth time, she's sobbing.

This is the part that's difficult for me to handle. I care about her and right now, I'm the one who is causing her this pain.

"Sev-en," she sobs, her legs beginning to tremble against the bench. Her skin is red, my arm is sore but I can't stop now. I need to prove it to her that I am the one in control of this relationship. My feelings for her can't get in my way.

With as much strength as I can manage to bring up I smack the whip against the upside of her thighs.

"Red!" the word comes out in a raspy breath before her entire body begins to quiver all over.

I drop the whip to the ground and lean down to untie the scarf around her head and rope around her hands. She sinks down to her knees, whimpering as her heels make contact with the sore skin on her backside.

"Red! Red! Red!"

"It's okay, Alice, it's okay. Let me help you up."

"No," she stutters, wiping her nose at the back of her hand. When she stands up, her legs are shaking. I wrap my arm around her middle to steady her and together we walk up to her room, where she drops onto the bed, face pressed against the pillows.

For a moment I'm frozen, swallowing hard to suppress my own tears. Then my instincts turn over. I rush to the bathroom to get some Tylenol and the cooling salve.

When I return to her room, she's crying desperately, her sobs stiffened by the pillow against her mouth. Crap, I broke her. This is the first time she safe-worded on me. I broke her will, her limits. If she leaves me now, I deserve it.

"Take these," I tell her, lifting up her chin to make her open her mouth and swallow two pills with a glass of water. Then I squeeze a generous amount of the salve on my palms before applying it carefully on her entire backside. The skin is dark red, some purplish bruises already building.

"Try to calm down. We talk later." I whisper, barely managing it to close the door behind me as I collapse on the carpet in front of it. With the last bit of will power I have left, I make it down to the kitchen, where I allow myself to break down and cry. Edward jumps on my lap, and I rub my wet face against his fur.

"She's going to make a run now. I fucked this up so badly, so badly."

My phone starts ringing and I try to ignore it until the machine starts playing and I hear Rosalie's voice.

"Pick up, I know, you're home."

I sigh and lift up the receiver, forcing my voice to sound calm as I speak into it. "Hi, Rose."

"What's wrong with you? Are you crying?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh, sure it does. Tell me what's wrong."

"Alice," I sob while I stand up to pour myself a glass of wine in the hope it will help me to calm down again.

"I knew that little pixie would be trouble. Did she leave you?"

"Safe-worded on me, but she's going to leave me now anyway, I'm sure about that."

"Bella, for fucks sake, her using a safeword is not the end of the world. What will get you in trouble is your denial of the feelings you have for her."

"I don't have any feelings for Alice,"

"Yes, sure, just say it often enough, maybe you're going to believe yourself."

I inhale sharply between my teeth. Then I gulp down the wine greedily, filling my glass a second time.

"I can't be in love with her. She is my sub."

"So was Jessica."

"Don't remind me of that. It was a mistake."

"Yes, it was. Not because she was your sub, but because Jessica is a dumb cow. She wasn't worth of your love. Mike this wannabe Dom deserves her and her snarky attitude."

I blow my nose and take another sip from my wine.

"I don't want to lose her. Alice is important to me."

"I know. I knew from the moment you made that tantrum about her not being open for sharing. You're so protective of her, it's cute."

"I don't do cute."

"Oh Bella, wake up and see the world like it is. See yourself the way you are."

"Are you telling me I'm too soft-hearted to be a Domme?"

"It hasn't got anything to do with that. You're not just Mistress Isabella all the time, you're Bella too."

"I can't have both, not with her. It's impossible."

"You never know until you try. Call me if you need anything. I'm here for you."

I disconnect the call and walk up the stairs again, splashing some cold water in my face before going to her room again. She's still lying on her stomach, but at least the crying has stopped.

"Alice, are you okay? Is the pain a bit better now?"

"Doesn't matter," she whispers, turning over to the side, her face turned away from me.

"Yes, it does." I say, rubbing a bit more of the cooling salve over her sore skin. "I care about your well-being."

"You hate me."

I gasp, the intensity of her words clamping forcefully around my heart. She thinks I hate her? Because of the punishment?

"I don't hate you. I'm sorry, if I pushed you too hard today. I should have sensed it was too much."

"Are you angry because I safeworded?"

I shake my head and pull the blanket carefully over her backside. Slowly, I let my fingertips glide over her hair.

"I'm glad you did it. Do you truly think I hate you?"

"Yes, no…well, I was scared, because you seemed so mad at me while you punished me."

"I was just angry at myself."

"For what? I'm the one who broke the rules. I'm so stupid and tend to forget that everything I do wrong has a consequence."

"It's okay," I assure her, leaning down to press my lips on her shoulder. "We'll work on that part."