"Jace thinks that you don't trust him, Alec. You go off, talking to us but not him, and he thinks that there's something he did wrong." Izzy sat on the foot of his bed beside Max, twirling a lock of hair on her finger.
"Raziel, I didn't think of it like that." Alec groaned. "I do trust him. I just don't know how to tell him." He chewed the inside of his cheek worriedly.
"Like this." Max swiveled to face their sister. "I'm bisexual, Iz."
"That is a good way to go about it." She agreed, oblivious to the fact that he was being serious.
"Things will be hard for you, Max. A lot of people don't understand. And there is a lot of hatred out there." Alec gazed at his little brother sadly.
"I understand that, Alec. I'm not ten. But it's who I am. I'm not going to be ashamed." Max met his eyes steadily. There was not a trace of doubt there. And Alec realized that Max was the bravest of the Lightwood kids. And he wasn't worried about him anymore. Max would be okay.
Isabelle stared at them, comprehension dawning on her face. "Wait, you're serious. You're serious! Oh my God!" She squealed, picking him up easily and spinning around. "Max! You actually surprised me! I mean, with Alec, I thought, could you get any gayer? Although I guess it depends on what gender you lean more towards." At her comment about his gayness, Alec elbowed her.
"Ow! Your elbow is like a knife!"
"Is not!"
"Shut up, the two of you, before I start wondering if you're twins." Max raised his voice.
"Ew!" They both jumped away from each other.
"I would've died if I had to occupy the womb with him beside me." Izzy complained.
"That's a bit harsh…"
"Sorry."
"Anyways," Max interrupted their banter, "Alec is about to do something that will make you very proud."
"Is he going to lose his virginity?" She gasped, a mischievous shine in her eyes.
"What the fuck?! No! Magnus and I would never… I mean, why would you…?" Alec turned bright red and hid his face. "Max, kill me now." Glancing up at Isabelle, he grumbled, "It's not like you'd know anything about losing your virginity anyways." When she stayed silent, he sat up straight and fixed her with a dangerous look. "You didn't. You fucking did not, Iz! You're smarter than that!"
"Izzy? Did you really?" Max whispered. "How? When? Who?"
"It was a mistake. And lower your voice." She clenched her fists.
"I will not! Isabelle Sofia, I will kill whoever it was, so help me—!" He glared at her, eyes afire and mouth set in a hard line.
"Calm down, I don't want to set you off!" Alec hadn't been genuinely angry in a long time, not like this. Isabelle sat him back down and hugged him tight. "I'm okay, Al, I'm okay. I'm sorry." She whispered. He slowed his breathing, but felt his heart rate, if anything, sped up.
He pressed a fist over his mouth, sinking to the ground. No, he didn't want this. Standing up jerkily, Alec shut his eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. There is no way he would let this happen. He swallowed the lump in his throat and, with difficulty, stayed perfectly still. "I'm fine. But that doesn't mean Jace isn't going to hear about this."
"Did you just… stop an attack as it started to happen?" Max demanded in disbelief.
"I don't know." Alec shakily made his way into Jace's room without another word. He rapped on the door and waited a moment, hearing Jace quickly say goodbye to Clary before hanging up. The door opened.
"Done with your little "inner circle" conversation?" He asked dryly. His eyes widened when he noticed Alec's short breaths and trembling hands. "Are you okay?"
"Just peachy." His voice wavered. "Were you aware that Izzy has evidently had her cherry popped?"
"No. No, no, no. Where is she?" Jace brushed past Alec and stormed into his room. Alec followed reluctantly.
"It was Meliorn, we were both drunk, and we never spoke after. It happened a few months ago." She said flatly once he reentered the room along with their other brother.
"YOU NEED TO STOP GETTING DRUNK, IZ. YOU'RE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, AND IT'S AGAINST THE LAW." Jace snapped. Alec decided not to pass a comment about how that was a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.
"I know, I'm sorry. It'll never happen again, I promise."
"I will kill him."
"I already called dibs." Alec corrected firmly. Max slowly inched out of the room, bolting once he got close enough to the door.
"Neither of you will do anything. He was drunk too, and we have an understanding that we won't talk anymore. And don't tell Mom or Dad, they'll have simultaneous heart attacks." Izzy continued, ignoring Max's panicked departure.
"Should I even ask why you got on this subject?" Jace turned to stare at Alec. "Anything you would like to tell me, dear brother? Have you gotten some poor girl pregnant?" His guess was so ridiculously off that Alec couldn't help but laugh hysterically. His sister joined in. The mood of the entire room took a 360. "Why are you laughing? I know that the notion is ridiculous, as the only person that girls will let impregnate them is me, but really?"
"I have never so much as kissed a girl in a romantic sense." Alec sighed, having a quick flashback of the fateful day in the library. There, he had allowed it. A hint at the truth.
"We need to change that." With relief evident on his face, Jace jokingly grabbed Isabelle, then Alec, and tried to push them together. Izzy wasn't having any of it. "Ow! Fuck!" Even Alec had to wince as Jace's face contorted. "Why'd you hit me there? Now the girls will be deprived of— what are you doing?" He demanded as Alec pinned him down with his full weight.
"You like incest so much? Practice what you preach!" Izzy shouted, and with relish, she leaned down lower, lower, until her face was an inch from Jace's.
"No! You're my sister! Stop! I'm sorry!" He tried to wiggle free, but Alec knew how to hold him down from many a physical fight when they were children.
"You don't love me? Your "all da ladies luv meh" attitude was just for show?" She asked innocently, puckering her lips. Alec knew that it was all a bluff, but the sight disturbed him nonetheless.
"Uh… is this a bad time?" Max, having wandered back to see if the tensions were still running high, had stopped to gawk at the three of them. Alec was sprawled on top of a struggling Jace while Isabelle had frozen with her lips an inch away from Jace's. "Dear God, I'm a child. Now look what you've done, I'll be mentally unstable for the rest of my young life." He shook his head, throwing up his arms and muttering about irresponsibility under his breath, leaving before they could explain.
"Dinner!" Maryse shouted from downstairs. For the first time in forever, she'd actually cooked something for them. The siblings regarded each other cautiously.
"Let's never speak of any of this ever again." Izzy suggested.
"I second that." Alec offered.
"Hey, do I look like I want to remember the downfall of my dignity?" Jace asked, which they took as agreement.
"There is something very wrong with this family." Alec sighed, rolling off of his brother, who sat up and cracked his neck.
"True, that. But who says that's a bad thing?" Isabelle slung her arms over her brothers' shoulders as they descended the stairs, and they didn't argue, lest they risk her wrath.
"Alexander, Isabelle, Jace." Robert greeted them as there entered the dining room. "Done hiding in your rooms? It seems like you're ignoring us now, not the other way around."
"Well, it's a difficult transition if you know what I mean." Izzy replied shortly.
"Shh!" Alec nudged her.
"Anyways, Alexander—" Maryse tried to cut off the argument before it expanded into something untamable.
"It's Alec, Mom. Always has been, always will be. Regardless of what my birth certificate says." Alec corrected her swiftly, surprised by his own forwardness.
"You're going recount what happened to Officer Jenny tomorrow afternoon. And Thursday, you have an appointment with Dr. Solace."
"I know, Mom. But I was thinking… is an appointment… really necessary?" He finished meekly, ducking his head.
"What do you mean?" Robert frowned, flummoxed.
"I… nothing. Never mind." He concentrated on his food, and the room went silent, except for the scraping of silverware on plates.
"Alec, can I talk to you? Y'know, in private?" Jace whispered so softly that he had to use a bit of sign language to convey his point. Alec pointedly narrowed his eyes, tipping his head to the side questioningly. Jace shot him a beseeching glance, looking down when Izzy's gaze drifted over. Alec dropped his shoulders, grudgingly nodding his assent.
"I've got to go… work on my English project." Alec muttered quickly, hoping that no one noticed his hesitation.
"We're not blind, Alexander. If you need to have a talk with your brother, there's nothing stopping you. Go ahead." His father watched the two of them in exasperation. Alec blushed, embarrassed, while Jace unceremoniously dragged him upstairs.
"I want to know what is up, Alec. There's something you're not telling me. Did I do something wrong? What happened?"
"I… I have something that I should've told you a while ago." Here it was. The moment of truth. He was uncertain, scared even. Jace was always the one he'd feared telling most. The object of his delusional affection in the past. "I'm—" His phone rang, cutting him off. Before he could answer it, Jace grabbed it and put it on speakerphone.
"Who is this?" Jace demanded while dodging away from his brother's attempt to snatch it back.
"I could be asking the same question." And Alec's heart nearly stopped. Magnus and Jace having a conversation could end catastrophically.
"Bane? Why do you want to talk to my brother? It's already pushing the limit that you wouldn't stop asking me about him earlier this morning."
"It's none of your business. Now, I would like to speak to Alexander." Magnus sounded… amused? Alec was going to murder him.
"Yeah, well, Alec is—" Alec elbowed him in the side and tore the phone from his grasp.
"Magnus? I'm on speakerphone, in the same room as Jace." He gasped, dodging away from said brother once more.
"Tough luck. So, are you in or out for Sunday?"
"I'm in." He agreed steadily. Jace shot him a look dark with suspicion.
"Alrighty then. See you around, Allie."
"Don't call me—!" Magnus hung up. "…that."
"What the fuck were you talking about? Why do you hang around with him so much?"
Oh Angel. He couldn't tell him now. Not when he was angry. "Jace, he's my friend, okay? Please understand that he's not hurting me or anything. He's just different from the other people I've met before. And you aren't in charge of my life. It's well past the time that I take control of my own."
"I'm glad that you're happier. But there's something about Glitter Boy that I don't like. And what are you doing Sunday? Joining a cult or something?"
"It's none of your business." Alec closed his eyes. "Please leave me alone."
"Why are you mad at me?" Jace's golden eyes were bright with guilt.
"I'm not angry. If anything, I'm afraid." Ugh, stupid Freudian slip!
"Afraid? Of me? Why? You're my brother, why can't you trust me like you trust Iz and Max." Jace took a step back, hurt. It was rare that Jace looked so troubled. "Is it because I was adopted?"
"No! It's not that. Blood means nothing to me. It's something else… you might not like me if I tell you."
"Alec, you don't have to worry about what I'll think. I'll stand by you no matter what."
"Just give me time, alright? It's nothing personal. It's me who's the problem." Alec turned away from him, crossing his arms protectively around himself. He heard Jace silently leave the room, and let out a breath. Closing the door behind him, he opened his drawer, digging out his sketch pad and a pencil. Tipping his head thoughtfully, he placed the tip to the paper.
A/N: I'm sorry that I took so long. Hopefully I can get back to scheduled updates soon, as school is out now. This chapter came slowly, and is a product of writer's block, it which I had to tie up some lose ends and set the stage for the next series of events. It's more of a filler chapter, so I know it must be disappointing for those of you who were waiting so long for a huge one in which things actually happen. I'm planning on fixing that chapter in which Alec and Magnus were first texting, because looking back, it was almost horrendously OOC, so you can check on that if you want sometime later this week. Thanks to everyone who's reading, and as always, stay awesome, guys ;)