Chapter Eleven: Midnight Eclipse
Aight, folks! Dedications to: sofia, Chissel, theruthlesscow, inuyashaluvskagome909, and especially sesshomaru121, Ochibi-chibi, Bill Clinton, xXKimiko SakakiXx and Painted Canvas! (AGAIN?!? SHOCK AND HORROR). Ah, yes. So my rant about the different configurations of the moon and sun and whatnot... I was looking at the covers of the Twilight series, and had a brief moment of inspiration. Hahaha. So credit for that absolutely goes to Stephanie Meyer. XD. Have fun reading, guys!
Kagome grabbed Kouga's hand as she ventured away from the bed. Her first steps seemed like a gauntlet she was tossing down at society, defiantly, but fearful of the repercussions her boldness might bring. The world – everything – seemed different now and she felt a child's uncertainty. Kouga gripped her hand reassuringly, and led her to sit on the couch. A new experience to her suddenly, foreign and remarkable, a sense of foreboding swelled in her questioning her competence, a feeling of shame already developing as she pictured if she could not. If she could not face the world.
Two palms, ten fingertips, one connection. Two hands clasped together in one touch, fingers interlocking with all the simplicity and intricacy of two conjoining puzzle pieces. Neither of them were under the single-sidedly wished for illusion that her fingerprints left any sort of romantic impress on his skin. Kouga had finally managed to coax Kagome the few feet from her bed of denial onto the couch of suffering acceptance. They sat together, but apart, the gap between them bridged only by their linked fingers. She grasped his hand for strength. Kouga sat patiently watching the TV that Kagome's gaze didn't seem to see. The smallest gesture bidding towards normalcy seemed to come only after extreme effort for her. There were things she couldn't forget, but there were times when she need to try.
She tried.
The colorful digital haze of the news blurred into white noise that trickled into a gray hush. The impersonal screen tried to trap her with ground-breaking reports on the latest political scandal. She focused her eyes on the shame of another, the thin levity with which the man turned his hands palms-up to accent his innocence. She focused desperately on the screen, willing for her mind to accept his innocence as well as her own. The unimportant anchorman on TV seemed uncomfortable in the unwavering line of her attention, and he cleared his throat awkwardly to announce that the weather reports were coming up. Her concentration faded, diluting into the background as the volume of her surroundings rose gently to correspond with reality. The faintly religious ambience the TV monitor gave off had dulled into a discolored sermon, the preacher himself turning away from failed angels.
Her. Her failure. God be with you, for her is no longer with me, she thought miserably, wishing luck on the unsuccessful politician. Yet, the melancholy seemed so natural now, was it only her who experienced it? Or was it a global emotion of which she only partook of the merest amount? Already her mind was wandering, unraveling like her sanity, weakening like her voice that was withering away in the cage of her mind.
She still couldn't talk. Bankotsu's spell did work. Although Kouga had spoken kindly to her, pleading for her to come back, she could see the barely-concealed impatience behind his eyes, all masculine tendencies trained to exact revenge, to find her tormentor, to hurt, to hate, to do something. To damage him in the same way that he had injured her. She could tell that Kouga wondered if maybe she was holding her tongue out of fear or of her own choice, or if maybe she was protecting somebody. But his questions were met with exasperation, every single question answered, but not heard.
She noticed that he never questioned Inuyasha. How if he had any role in her tragedy, it was only as the sinner who let Juliet die. An anger was felt when Inuyasha's name hung in the air, but she couldn't ask, and he wouldn't answer.
Inuyasha.
His name brought back emotions that she didn't dare feel anymore. She couldn't let herself dwell on the moments when… she choked back her breath, pulling herself away. Kagome had replayed it so many times in her head, wishing it wasn't true, searching for the epiphany in that single moment of realization when you are consciously aware of your presence in a dream. It didn't come. All the times she had screamed his name in her head… he didn't come, and she didn't wake.
The fake Shikon no Tama clung to its chain around her neck, the real one stolen away by Bankotsu. Reality returned. Nothing had changed. The dribbling clutter of commercials came back to her, and again she was looking at the TV.
The keys jangled garishly in Inuyasha's hand as he fumbled for the right grooves and markings that would sing the door locked and unlock it with an opposing tune. He was actually nervous. His ferociously rehearsed speech was worried over with a layer of gauze that blotted out words, and dropped phrases. It was there, underneath, but the space it left was so hard to fill, the words he wanted so hard to find.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm stupid. I'm sorry. I love you. Four sentences beginning with I. The keyhole seemed to be doing a parallel dance with his key. He clenched his hand tight to still the slight tremor. Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha located his courage and slotted the key into the keyhole. Closing his eyes, he turned the key; opening them, he pushed the door ajar. It was dark. The room was empty. She wasn't there.
He felt a dull pain in his chest. Inuyasha chuckled sadly. Jesus Christ, was this actual heartache? Only the lonely beat of his own heart answered him.
Kouga took Kagome for a gentle stroll through the park, an uncharacteristic patience responding to her faltering confidence. His heart bled, their trail marking red. Her silence gave him a soaking anger that dripped from his clothes to mingle with their bloody footsteps. But that was all she could give him. Anger and… and sadness. His heart bled.
He wondered if she wouldn't let herself speak, or just couldn't bring herself to do it. He wondered what she was thinking; he wondered who the son of a bitch was. He watched her look around at the foreign familiarity of their surroundings, the grass green with a peace she could not obtain. Kagome looked down at their cement path and that night's rough floors flashed across her mind. She shuddered, forcing her eyes away to gaze at the sky. Such a vivid leaf-shadowed blue, as blue as her soul, dying of frostbite within the confines of her body. So blue.
Kouga felt a dull pain in his chest and he chuckled sadly. Jesus Christ, was this actual heartache? Only the lonely beat of his own heart answered him.
Inuyasha moped around the park, loitering around a bench restlessly. Was she really still that angry with him? Or was it chance that she just wasn't home? It didn't look like she had come home at all though, her backpack missing, and nothing having moved from its previous place. A fork that had been dropped on the floor from breakfast lay angrily on the floor seething at its banishment from the other utensils. He had picked it up, washed it and set it back with its family. Her tube of lip gloss sat on the table on top of the book she was reading, untouched. A half finished pile of laundry assaulted the couch with sheer force of numbers against its bigger opponent. Nothing had changed. He'd called Sango anxious for the verdict and his sentence, thinking that Kagome was with her, but… she wasn't. Neither of them had any idea where Kagome had disappeared to.
God, all of this for a dumbass fight with that goddamn wolf-mutt. He was back on the park bench again, grumbling as he lay back and looked at the sky. Such a vivid leaf-shadowed blue, as blue as his soul, dying of frostbite within the confines of his body. So blue.
Kagome spotted him. That gleam of silver hair reclining lazily on a park bench, gazing up at the sky, pondering on a crush that was chemical, electrical and spiritual. Pondering on her. She stopped dead, her breath catching in her throat. She saw him stiffen, and knew it was too late. He knew it was her, standing there behind him, every breath she took, taken for him.
Inuyasha turned around slowly, his pulse bruising his skin with its staccato raging.
Go. Before my heart breaks. Go, Kagome cried.
He pushed himself up, a measured shift of muscle smoothing in complicated rearrangements under his skin. He deliberately disobeyed her order. Inuyasha took a step towards her. She couldn't move, looking at the boy that was Aurora's harbinger to her, heralding her dawn. He was her sunrise.
Then Kouga moved in front of her, unforgotten by only himself. A low growl rumbled in his chest. The spell broke, and she ran. Away from her moon and her sun and the eclipse they created, too bright for words. She ran, turning back the Earth's rotation from dawn back to twilight. She ran, away from the boy that was her midnight sun.
Kouga threw him a look of deepest disgust, his gaze shot through with loathing, and turned to follow Kagome.
"Wait," Inuyasha managed to croak out. None of this made sense. He and Kouga stood there, two titans throwing their shadows black, at loss for words. She was… with Kouga? All this time that she was missing, she was with… Kouga? He should chase after her, tell her to come back, beg for… what? Forgiveness, her love, an explanation.
His heart back.
The silence was left unbroken for too long. Kouga turned to go and Inuyasha didn't stop him.
"If she had been with me, this would never have happened," Kouga murmured softly. Inuyasha's ears pricked. What? "I blame you. I thought this would have been the one thing you could have done right."
Kouga didn't look back as he walked away, leaving Inuyasha to drown in his footprints. How had everything gone so terribly awry? Inuyasha felt like a lost moon, his planet destroyed in some cataclysmic disaster. But nevertheless, without fail, he continued to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space, ignoring the laws of gravity. But his planet was gone, and there was only the empty space it left behind. The words I blame you echoed among the antimatter.
I blame you.
"Are you sure you want to do this? Go to school?" Kouga couldn't keep the unsupportive note of disbelief out of his voice, although he wished he could. Her unconvincing nod did nothing to sooth his frenzied worry and his overwhelming feeling of restlessness. Kagome was wearing one of his sweatshirts and a pair of an old girlfriend's jeans. The sweatshirt was already a bit too small for him, but it still dwarfed her; the sleeves on each side had to be rolled up several times. He'd never realized that she was so small. She nodded again, as if to double her conviction on their venture, but she didn't meet his eyes. It was time, time to face the world. He opened the door for her and they stepped out into the cloudy turquoise atmosphere of the city streets. Kouga took her hand, and although Inuyasha's face flashed across her mind, she didn't object.
Their brief walk to school was punctuated with the multi-pronged aerial clutter of car horns, shouting, birdsong and breeze. Neither of them spoke, Kouga not knowing what to say and Kagome unable to grasp the ridiculous idea of a conversation. She didn't seem to see anything around her, and was only jolted back to reality by the loud sliding doors of a 7-11 they passed. Never had those doors seemed so loud before and never had the store clerk felt so hostile, his bright smile to her merely a façade, under which he hid a criminal, daylight seeing him masquerading as a sharp and able employee, night seeing him in his other costume. Like Batman, Spiderman and every other man who pretended to be fighting on the side of humanity for good and for justice. She shuddered and unconsciously pressed closer to Kouga. He didn't ask, but kept her within a motherly protection that transcended the homogenized Hallmark and Disney versions of love.
Love? That word seemed to have betrayed her so long ago.
The chased goldwork of the necklace around her neck seemed to tighten, a disdainful threat warning her against ever loving again. Kagome swallowed hard, feeling the physical absence of her voice that the necklace dangled in front of her. It controlled the charm that Bankotsu had used to strip her of her voice, and it was where he'd contained it. Always with her, a provocative taunt, hers to use and sing and laugh with once, now hers to keep silent. The golden collar loosened, but the fearful pressure in her throat did not. They rounded the corner, and the schoolyard slid into sight, the cliff where she would freefall from the unknown, hoping against hope that her parachute wasn't as fucked up as she was.
"Hey, baby girl, how you been?" Yuka asked enthusiastically, flouncing over to fling her arms around Kagome. God, I swore I wouldn't cry, Kagome thought, holding back the tears and giving the other girl a weak smile as she returned her hug. She wanted to feel the relief that came consequently and inevitably from crying into the arms of a loving being that would make everything better. But she couldn't, and she swore she wouldn't let herself. Yuka was not her mother whom she could cry to over scrapes at the knee, petitioning for motherly love and the all-forgiving sympathy that would make the broken skin across her knee seem worthy and of purpose. The utter misfortune of getting hurt lamentable but forgivable if the occasion brought her a band-aid, a kiss and a hug. The maternal admonishment of "be careful" heeded and appreciated as the tears would stop and everything would be okay again. Such had it been when she was five. She was no longer five, and at 17, her tripled age did not bring her more compassion, although it would have been readily and freely given had she asked it – had she been able to ask it.
Kouga had walked her to her classroom and left to find his own, muttering prayers and love-words like a curse. Now Kagome was alone and had to face her life and fend for herself. She stepped into the classroom, and her world spun in reverse, her sun coming back up over the horizon. There he was.
The Garden of Eden is with us still. There he sat, Inuyasha Ishikawa, his one look a sorcerous gift that brought Eden to lie about her.
Yeah, I suppose not a lot actually happened in this chapter, huh? I got all rambly. Heheheh. Anyways, there will definitely be more action in the next chapter, Miroku and Sango will finally have their moment (I've been hoping to work that in for ages) and... well... we'll see if Inuyasha ever finds out, eh? And his reaction... ooooh, hot dang, that will not be pretty. -lol.
PARODY TIME?!?
"If she had been with me this would never have happened," Kouga murmured softly. Inuyasha's ears pricked. What? "Kagome would never have grown that fungus on her toe. I blame you." Kouga didn't look back as he walked away.
The mushroom had looked vaguely Shiitake-like, although from other angles it resembled Drew Barrymore. Due to the size of Drew, Kagome had been unable to get her right shoe on for the walk. She'd gone with the right foot bare. Although Inuyasha hadn't noticed (he'd been distracted by her third nostril), others (who hadn't been close enough to witness the nostril phenomenon) had taken note, including: two pedestrians, a child (who promptly dissolved into Shiitake-induced tears), a photographer (who snapped a shot of Kagome's foot that would win him the prestigious HUMP! Award), two stalkers and a policeman (who arrested Kagome for disturbing the peace). Scientists later confirmed that this was indeed, " a retarded discovery," as described by Dr. Sh'ni'qqqop'rt, PhD.
Thanks so much for reading, guys!! Oh, and heads up, one reviewer will be awarded the much-sought HUMP! Award... XDD.