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Two silent hours passed, the chains were off, but they both still remained in the room. Raito didn't know why he felt in debt to L for L's trust in him, but he did, so he decided he would not betray L's trust. At least not this day. Not today.
"Ryuuzaki…" Raito trailed from the kitchen. He wasn't entirely sure why he said it, but he wanted to hear it.
"Yes?" he was surprised to hear from the bed
He turned from making tea to look into the room. He was startled out of his comfort to see L sprawled across the top cover. His arms were hanging over the foot of the bed, his legs were spread, on foot hanging over the side while the other rested on a pillow. His hair was falling from his head like feathery, silk springs. His owlish, child-like eyes were gazing at Raito as he asked, "You called for me, Light-kun?"
Raito flustered softly, replying, "Uhm…n-no…uh…oh, uhm, do you want any tea, Ryuuzaki? I'm making and I figured I would ask…uhm…do you…want?"
Raito wanted to smack himself for his graceless stuttering. L was surely on to him, L would surely see through his lies.
"Hmm…very well."
Raito nodded and returned to the kitchen. He set up two glasses with tea bags in them, one with one sugar and the other with five. He hoped L would appreciate it.
"Lighhht-kuuun…" L chimed from the bedroom
Raito cocked a brow and looked back into the room, inquiring, "Ryuuzaki?"
L was pouting childishly, requesting, "Light-kun…come here please…"
Raito swallowed inaudibly, it was hot and difficult to gulp, but his nerves forced it down. He approached the sprawled, lanky boy, and asked, "What is it you want, Ryuuzaki?"
L reached his arms up straight and told him, "I wish for you to embrace me, Light-kun."
Raito's face flooded with red, a sound or whimper of vulnerability escaping his lips as he stammered, "W-what?"
"A hug, Light-kun…I want a hug."
Raito took a moment to register what L was telling him, then followed the friendly orders. He awkwardly sat down beside L and leaned forward slowly, allowing his heated face to rest in the chilly crook of L's neck. His strong arms very slowly wrapped around L's frail frame as L locked his spidery arms around Raito's back. Raito stayed there for a while, in the chill of L's icy neck as he felt L's digits tighten around his shoulders. He could have sworn he heard L stop a whimpered cry half-way before L requested in a hush, "Please, Light-kun…tell me you aren't Kira."
Raito's eyes widened in L's hold as he enjoined, "…but, Ryuuzaki…you never believe me…"
He could feel L's long lashes watering against his ear as L added, "I want to believe you, so terribly though…Light-kun…please…please just tell me, convince me you don't want me dead…"
Raito looked away; in this moment, in these past two days, he hadn't wanted anything ill to befall the detective. He had…somehow become…something precious…
"Ryuu-…L…I want you to stay with me…I could never want you dead, L…I am not Kira."
"Light-kun…do you still honor me? Can you honor me despite the fact that I am weaker than I appear? Could you ever honor…someone like me, Light-kun?"
Raito tore away from L and told him, "L…I do honor you, and I always will…you aren't weak, L…you're human…the most humane person I've ever known…"
"Light-kun…I wish that I didn't have to live so alone…I wish I didn't…I wish I didn't honor you as I do…"
"L…" Raito began, "…you're not sick."
"What ever could you mean, Light-kun?" L quizzed
"Your neck…it's cold…a fever radiates from the forehead and neck…you're not ill…"
L's eyes seemed to darken as he replied, "You are quite perceptive, Light-kun, but then again…I would expect nothing less. You are right, I was never ill. I rested the lamp against my forehead only minutes prior to you feeling it the other morning."
"…why?"
L looked away, still never moving his arms from Raito's shoulders and back as he told him, "Perhaps…it is because I cannot chose who I trust, nor who I love nor who I honor…do you agree?"
"I don't know what you're saying, L."
"Although you are a young man of shining brilliance, Light-kun, this does not surprise me. Are you not sad, Light-kun? Are you not sad that you have to hate me? That you have to someday kill me?"
"I'm not Kira!" Raito snapped
"Are you not angry that I care so deeply about you, but you will purge me from this world? Are you not angry that you've tricked me into believing you care at all?"
"I am not Kira!" He defended
L's sad eyes, endless pits of twisting black holes aligned with stars and galaxies of ink softened as he told Raito gratefully, "Thank you, Light-kun."
"What will it take? What will it take for you to believe me?" Raito begged
"More than you're willing to offer." L stated stoically
Raito leaned forward, running his hand across L's cold cheek as he told him, "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, L."
"Your lies warm me, Light-kun, but loving lies cannot last forever."
"That is not a lie, L…of that…of that one fact, I can assure you. I would do…anything for you, L."
Why? Why were these words coming so naturally to Raito? Why did they feel so real? So honest? Why was he saying this…why?
"And how can you assure me?" L pressed, unconvinced
"Because…I feel loyal to you…and that loyalty, that…honor…that trust…that…it can make the feeling…"
"…of a kiss?" L suggested
"A real kiss." Raito murmured as he lowered himself towards L's pinkish face
Their lips were not an inch apart when a startling whistle sounded from the kitchen and Raito's senses snapped into action. He shot away from L, their eyes widely gazing at each other, silently promising they would never mention what had almost happened. Raito stood and walked to the kitchen, pouring the tea, then leaning against his palms on the counter.
What am I doing?