I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter so much. (:
I loved the reviews.


This chapter is longer than my other ones, because I finally worked the prologue into the story.

:)

BPOV

It had been three months since…the incident.

Three months. I don't know how we made it this long without ever bringing it up, but we somehow managed.

…But I still thought about it everyday. It still felt weird to think that Edward kissed me.

I didn't know what it meant, and I was afraid to ask. Whenever I built up enough courage to ask, I remembered that he'd asked if we should pretend as if nothing had happened and
I'd agreed.

I wish I'd thought before agreeing, because now it was really bothering me.

How would I even bring it up? It had been a long time since it happened. He probably even forgot about it. Okay, I know he hasn't forgotten, but he might not even care about it
anymore.

After that day, things got weird and tense, but I was sure that after a few days things would be back to normal.

Now, they were kind of back to normal, but not fully. He touches me less, but I don't know if he realizes he's acting different. If he's doing it on purpose, I wonder if he knows that I realize it.
I know this sounds strange, but he literally touches me less. Less hugs, less lying down with him, less everything.

These are some of the things I want to talk to him about. I've never really had trouble talking to him about anything, and I didn't even know who to turn to for help.

He was always the one to help me in situations like this. What could I do now that he was what I needed help with?

The only thing I was certain of was that I couldn't let this get in the way of today.

Today was the day of Emmett's high school graduation.

I was at Edward's house getting ready in his room, and he was downstairs waiting for me. Alice was with me, waiting for her parents to get home. She was going with them, and I was
going with Edward.

Alice and I were just talking about random gossip, when I realized that I could ask her what was going on with Edward. She probably knew. I mean, she lived with him.

I waited for her to finish whatever she was saying, and then I knew that I had to ask. I couldn't take it anymore.

She was sitting on Edward's bed. I was putting on my make-up, and stopped to turn toward her. "Alice, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Bella. Anything."

I almost chickened out because I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer, but I forced my self to speak.

I kept my voice low, in case Edward could hear me. "Why has…Edward been acting weird lately? I mean, I don't know if he's acting weird toward everyone, or just me, but it's bugging me. A lot."

She made a face. "Oh…Bella, maybe you should ask him."

I wanted to know now! "No, Alice, please, just tell me if you know."

"Why won't you just ask him?"

I threw my hands up and yelled in a whisper. "Because I'm afraid of his answer!"

"If you're afraid of the answer, then you probably already know what it is." I waited for more, but she didn't say anything else.

"Alice, really, I don't know. The only thing I can think of is that he doesn't feel close to me or he doesn't like me anymore."

She looked confused. "It's actually the complete opposite."

What was the opposite of that? "The opposite? So he still feels close to me and he still likes me…That's a relief…I guess."

She was getting annoyed. "Bella, I don't know how you don't see it. I don't know how Emmett sees it, and you still don't."

"See what?"

"I wish I wasn't the one to tell you this, Bella. I wish he was the one telling you."

"Alice, just say it!" I had to remember to keep my voice down, and I hoped Edward didn't hear me yell. I didn't want him to come up here to see what was going on. I checked the time.
We had to leave in a little bit. "Quickly, I'm gonna leave soon."

"Okay, okay! …Edward's been acting weird because…"

I held my hands out and gestured for her to continue. "Because…?"

"He loves you." She let out a sigh of relief.

What was she talking about? "What? That's the big secret? I already know that. I love him, too."

She rolled her eyes. "Bella, no! He's in love with you. In love."

It took me a few seconds to process what she had just said.

Then, I realized how ridiculous this was and I couldn't help but laugh and shake and my head. "What?! No he's not. How do you know? Did he say anything? He was probably making a joke."

Why would Edward be in love with me?

"He doesn't have to say anything. Everyone knows. How do you not see it? It's so obvious. Look at the way he cares for you and all the little things he does for you."

"Yeah, he cares for me because he's my best friend."

She lowered her eyes. "Bella, we're his family and we don't even get as much love from him as you do."

I had to force myself to swallow, and I knew my face looked completely sad. "Wait, so…wait. He's in love. With me. With me? Why?"

"'Why'? I don't know. He obviously sees something in you. Bella, if he tells you he loves you, please don't laugh. He'll take it the wrong way. You know he will. I don't know why he's acting
weird, but I'm guessing something happened between you guys, so think about it. It's obvious that he's been in love with you for a while. His feelings aren't something new, so I don't know
why he just recently started acting weird."

I knew why. I knew it, but I wasn't going to tell Alice. I didn't want to tell anyone. I felt so bad.

He was acting weird because I had rejected him. But he had to know that when I asked him why he'd kissed me, I didn't even think of it as a way of rejecting him. Yes, I was confused and
surprised, but I really did want him to tell me why he was kissing me. I wanted to know the reason. I wanted him to say that I wasn't like any other casual girl he hooked up with or had sex with.

I wanted him to…tell me he had kissed me because he loved me.

I wanted him to – I wanted him, too.

I suddenly wished Alice wasn't here, because I felt like crying. I didn't know that I was the reason he was acting weird, and I felt guilt wash over me. He was probably so angry at me.

I felt a lump in my throat, and tried to get rid of it. I couldn't cry right now. It was Emmett's day.

I got up and walked into the bathroom to continue putting on my make-up. Even though I knew we had to leave soon, I really didn't feel like going anywhere anymore.

Edward's voice made me jump, and I messed up my eyeliner. "Bella, come on, we're gonna be late!"

"I'm coming!" I answered, fixing the eyeliner. I thanked Alice and said bye. I tried to push all of my feelings away for the time being.

As I was running down the stairs, I saw Edward sitting on the couch, shaking his leg and biting his thumbnail. He seemed nervous about something, but I didn't know what. I don't even think
I wanted to know, because I was scared that I was the one making him feel uneasy again.

But as much as I was scared to know, I was sad that I rarely knew what was growing through his mind anymore. In addition to being less touchy with me, he spoke less too. Whenever I asked
him what he was thinking, he would just say, "Nothing." I would try to open up to him to see if it would make him open up, but I didn't even know what to tell him. He already knew everything.

The only other reason I could think of for the way he was acting right now was Emmett.

Em wasn't nervous at all, and I guess Edward felt the need to be twice as nervous as he would normally be. You know what? I'm sure that was the reason. Why would he be nervous because
of me? I understand if he was mad at me, but it made no sense for him to be nervous.

I'd never really paid attention to what he wore or didn't wear before, but today, I noticed. It bothered me that I noticed, because I couldn't understand why I did. He was wearing regular
clothes. Nothing special.

He was dressed in a dark red zip-up hoodie and dark-wash jeans. His usually spiky hair had nothing in it to hold it up, so it covered his forehead and stuck out in different spots.

I walked over to him in and stood in front of him, but he was zoning out, as if he was just staring at me. I realized that he hadn't even noticed that I was in the same room as he was.

I stepped closer.

"Edward. Ed…ward?…Edward. EDWARD!"

His mouth fell open and he just looked up at my face, dumbfounded. "Yeah, Bella?"

"Um…Are we going…?"

"Y-Yeah. Let's go."

He was still sitting, so I crouched down in front of him and brought my hand up to his head to fix his unruly hair. He pulled his head away from my hand and I brought my hand down.
That really hurt, but I didn't say anything.

I knew he wasn't nervous because of Em. As much as I didn't want it to be true, I knew he was acting weird because of me.

"What's wrong? Why are you so nervous? Are you afraid that Emmett might trip or mess up his speech or something?" Well, I wasn't going to bring up whatever this thing between us was.
We didn't have time to discuss it right now.

He sighed and it hurt me to look at him. "Yeah, I guess I am." I wanted to do whatever it was he wanted. Whatever would make him smile, or at least make him look…less miserable.

Alright. I was definitely having a talk with him when we got back. I had to know what he was thinking, and what he had been thinking for the past three months.

I had to figure out what I was feeling, too. It didn't feel as if I was in love with him, but why did I want him? Maybe because I found him hott? I mean, he was good-looking, that was nothing
new. And why had I wanted him to tell me he'd kissed me because he loved me? I wouldn't have said it back. Was I that selfish?

I shook the questions out of my head.

I took his hand in mine. He said yes to the question about Emmett, so I had to go along with it. Make everything seem 'normal'.

"Edward, he's seventeen. He knows how to walk. He knows how to speak. I'm sure he can take care of himself. Stop worrying and enjoy this day." I looked up at his green eyes with a smile
and squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him.

He looked down at me with a strange glint in his eyes for two seconds, before the glint disappeared and he smiled. "You're right, Bells. Let's go." Oh, that smile. I don't think I'd ever wanted
to see it as much as I wanted to at that moment.

He finally stood up, and we walked outside. It was a cloudy day, and I hoped it didn't rain. The ceremony was going to be outside.

We got in the car, and as Edward began driving, I realized that he was driving slower than usual. He had specifically bought this Audi TT just so he could speed.

What a reason to get a car! I mean, must admit that his car was beyond nice, but sometimes I got annoyed when he would ramble on about it. I knew I wasn't in love when I would think
of his annoying moments. Sometimes, his little quirks really got on my nerves. Like this one time…

**We were laying down side by side in my bed one day, while he went on and on about his Audi.

Seeing the boredom on my face, he turned on his side, hoisted himself up on his elbow and said, "Bellaaa, don't be jealous. You know I love you more."

Was he serious right now? "Get real, Eduardo. I'm not jealous of a car."

He then started poking at my hips and ribs as I squirmed, knowing how ticklish I was. "Don't call me that!"**

When I thought back to it, I realized that as annoyed as I sometimes got, he knew how to make me feel completely better. I missed the times when we would joke around about stupid stuff
like that. About his car, about food, about movies, about anything.

I really didn't know how I felt. I knew that I was in love with him, but when I thought back to things we used to do together, I felt…weird.

It was going to bug me until I found out what was going on with me, and now I felt bad that I wouldn't be able to enjoy Em's day.

Well, maybe Alice was wrong. Maybe he wasn't in love with me.

If he was, I'm sure he would've told me by now, right? Right.

If he loved me, he should've told me when I asked him why he kissed me. Right? Right.

I kept thinking of reasons why he wasn't in love with me, and the more reasons I thought up, the more I believed it. He couldn't be in love with me. I'd known him for such a long time.
If something like this was going to happen, it would've happened already. It wouldn't be happening when we were this old.

Right?

Right.

Now that that's over with, let's get back to his car. He would marry this thing if he could.

He loved speeding, and even though it scared me, he almost never slowed down, no matter how much I'd beg him to. He said he loved the adrenaline rush he got, and called it "fun".
Obviously, sometimes we had different ideas of what 'fun' was.

I let go of all of my thoughts for a minute when I heard him clear his throat. I almost regretted asking him, but I asked without thinking, and it was too late.

"Edward, why are you driving so slowly?"

He raised an eyebrow, looked at me, and smirked.

Oops. "Edward, no! I was just wondering why – " My words got cut off as he pressed his foot on the accelerator and sped off. *You had to ask, Bella.*

Knowing I couldn't make him slow down, I just accepted whatever speed he drove with. I was used to it, anyway.

I looked in the distance and I realized that the clouds were parting and the sun was finally starting to show. Edward put on his sunglasses, and I remembered that I had put mine in his
glove compartment yesterday. I was glad that for this split second, we were acting normal.

When I opened the glove compartment to get my glasses, I jumped and froze at Edward's voice.

"No! You can't look in there!" He reached over and pushed my hand out of the way, shutting the glove compartment before I could get my sunglasses.

Just like that, the 'normal' was over.

"I just wanted my sunglasses…" I said in a small voice.

He sighed. "Sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to snap. Here, you can wear mine."

He handed me his glasses, and I reluctantly took them and put them on. "Why can't I look in there?"

He shrugged. "You just can't."

Gee, what a great reason. "But –"

"Bella," he said in a stern voice. God…another thing that bugged me…when he acted like he was my dad or something.

"Fine," I said sadly. I was more mad than sad, but I wanted him to feel bad and tell me what was in the glove compartment. I'll admit, it was kind of mean, but I was tired of him not telling
me things anymore.

I knew not to keep asking, so I just turned my head and looked out the window. I watched children playing in their front yard, and it reminded me of my childhood with Edward.

I kept quiet. I was hurt, and I really didn't care if he knew. It might seem as if I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but Edward and I never hid anything from each other.

There were times where we even shared too much information, telling our "private time" moments to each other, making each other cringe. I don't know what he could be
hiding from me, and it just added on top of the list of things he was doing that were unusual lately.

"Bella."

I didn't respond in any way.

He tried again, a little louder. "Bells, just look at me for a second." Did his face look sad? I hoped it didn't, but I wasn't going to turn my head to check. If I saw him sad, I would give in.

I still sat there looking out the window.

I saw his arm extending toward me, and I felt his fingers under my chin, turning my head toward him.

I had to look at him. I had no other choice. "What, Edward?" I said in a monotone. He was facing the road, but his fingers were still under my chin. He did look sad, but I tried not to let
him see that it affected me.

"Are you mad?" Even his voice was sad. He was sad because he thought I was mad at him. Again, I made him feel bad. Even if he wasn't in love with me, I was still his best friend. I didn't doubt
that he still loved me.

I wasn't going to let him know that I felt bad, though. I wasn't going to lose this. "Yes."

"Why? I'm sorry if I hurt you, but don't I have the right to keep some things private?"

It felt so wrong to make this into a game of winning or losing when it was obviously hurting him.

"You do. I just didn't know we were hiding things from each other in our cars now."

He sighed heavily. "We're not. I'll show you what it is another time, okay?"

I forced a smile, and I'm sure he read right through it. "Sure. Can we just forget about it?" I didn't want to have this conversation anymore. As much as I wanted to know what was in there,
it wasn't worth seeing his face almost as if it was in pain.

We didn't say much after that, but then again, we didn't really say much these days anyway.

We pulled up to the high school, and after Edward parked, he turned to me, his eyebrows pulled together, his face still sad. "You know I love you, right, Bella?"

"I know, Edward. And I love you." I wanted to say more, but what else could I say?

His face lightened up a bit, and we hugged for a minute, before breaking apart and getting out of the car. The hug felt so good. So good, especially since I rarely felt his touch anymore.

Just as we got out of the car, Emmett immediately ran up to us in his gown, with his graduation cap in his hand. "Bro! I'm finally graduating!!"

I had to laugh as he jumped on Edward and knocked the wind out of him.

However, Edward being Edward, he didn't complain, and just laughed as he patted Emmett's back.

We all began walking toward the field on which the graduation was taking place, but Em had to go inside to get ready, so Edward and I were left alone.

We walked up to the field, and spoke about people we saw who we knew.

His parents and sister weren't here yet, so we found a place by the fence in front of the bleachers that separated the bleachers from the field.

I stood in front of the fence and put my hands on top, looking out at the empty chairs and podium. I couldn't believe it had been four years since we'd graduated high school. We graduated
college last month, and this coming September, we were off to grad school. Again, I couldn't believe it.

I was caught off guard when I felt Edward behind me and his chin on my head. I wished he would wrap his arms around me, but he put them beside me on the fence instead. I didn't
expect him to wrap them around me, so I wasn't surprised. I was disappointed, though.

I didn't care, though. This was close enough, and it made me happy. We were making progress, I guess.

He tilted his head down and took in a deep breath.

"Edward…"

"Yeah, bab – Bells."

"Edward, you can call me 'babe.' Or 'baby.' Or whatever you want to. You know that." Why did I have to tell him this?

He hadn't called me anything but 'Bella' or 'Bells' for a while, and I missed it.

His head was still tilted down and he was talking into my hair in a low voice. "Good to know. So, then…can I…put my arms around you?"

I was getting annoyed. I grabbed his hands and took them off the fence, putting them around my waist hastily. "You can do whatever you want to. Why are you asking me?
You don't have to ask. You know that, too."

He pulled me closer and his voice got even quieter as he moved his head right next to mine, giving me goosebumps when I felt his breath in my ear. "Well, what happened the
last time I didn't ask and just did whatever I wanted to?"

I hadn't expected him to say that, and when he realized he wasn't getting an answer, he put his chin back on top of my head.

After about a minute, he continued talking. "Can you believe we were on this field not too long ago?"

"I was just thinking the same thing." I tried to keep the conversation going, but my mind kept going back to what he said before. 'What happened the last time I didn't ask…?'
Why did he have to bring it up? He was definitely mad about it, but we couldn't really talk about it here.

I wrapped my arms around his and played with his fingers. "Edward, can you come over after this so we can talk?"

He lifted his head off of mine, and I could tell he was smiling when he spoke. "Of course, babe."

I smiled, too. I couldn't help it. I was glad he was smiling, and it felt so good to hear him call me that. …But I didn't want him to think what I said was a joke in any way. "Edward, I'm serious."

He cleared his throat and made his voice really deep. "Oh, uh, yeah. Me too, me too."

I turned around in his arms, looking up at him. He was looking out at the field, his face as straight as can be, showing no emotion.

I turned my head to look back at the field, and faced him again when I saw nothing there. "What are you doing?"

He still kept his voice deep and continued looking straight ahead. "I'm being serious." He looked like he was called to attention in the army or something.

I brought a finger up and pushed the corner of his mouth up, making it look as if he was smirking. When I let it go, his face went back to being serious.

I stomped my foot. "Edward!"

He looked down, laughing. "I'm just kidding, Bella. Yes, I'll come over."

I smiled and turned back around. "Good."

"Are we gonna…talk about what I didn't ask you about and just did because I wanted to?"

Why did he have to word it like that? "Yeah. We're gonna talk about when we kissed. Is that okay?" Seriously, it wasn't a freaking sin or something. If he was going to go to hell,
it definitely wouldn't be for saying that we 'kissed'.

"Yupp."

He still spoke as if he was joking or something, but I just took it as him being happy, and it made me feel better.

We stood that way for a few more minutes until his family came.

I didn't want him to let me go. I never realized how much I'd missed him, even though he'd been here the entire time. I missed the way he used to act with me, and I was glad that
things seemed to be going smoothly for now.

As I said, I didn't want him to let go, but he had to. We had to greet his parents and Alice.

When I hugged Alice, she whispered in my ear. "So is everything okay now?"

I pulled back and looked at her. "I don't know. We're gonna talk later."

She nodded, and I was glad she didn't ask anything else.

We all went to sit on the benches, and the graduation went just as I'd expected. Families cheering for whoever was graduating, the principal telling the families to be quiet so he
could continue calling out the names, valedictorian and salutatorian speeches, etc.

When they called Em's name, we didn't care what the principal said. We screamed for him and cheered him on. When he got his diploma, he turned to the audience, threw his hands
up, and screamed out, "Yeah!!!"

Edward and I turned to each other and both yelled out "Yeah!!!" We gave each toehr high-fives.

I laughed because I knew Em would get in trouble for what he did later.

After the ceremony, we found Emmett inside with the other graduates, and picked him up so we could leave.

Edward turned to his mom while we were walking to the parking lot. "Ma, I'm gonna go over Bella's."

"Alright, but be back in time for dinner. We're gonna go out to celebrate."

"I know. Bella, wanna come with us later?"

It was a family dinner. I'd feel bad being there. "No, no. It's a family occasion. You guys go –"

Emmett cut in. "Bella, be quiet. You're part of the family. Come on! It's my graduation, and I call the shots. You're coming."

I turned to Carlisle. "Bella, you should come. It would mean a lot to everyone, and you are a part of the family."

When they said things like that, it made me want to give them all big hugs or something.

…I didn't hug them, though. That would've been awkward right now.

Alice, Em, Esme, and Carlisle all went in one car, and Edward and I went in his car.

I was so nervous about the conversation we were going to have at my house.

I pushed my seat back and closed my eyes as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Bells, what are you doing?"

"Resting."

"Oh. Okay."

A few minutes passed…

"So…why are you resting?"

"Because I want to. And because I'm scared." There was no point in hiding my feelings. I was going to let everything out when we had our talk anyway.

"Of what?"

"Of…um…our talk?" I felt bad saying it.

He chuckled. "Bella, come on. Since when have you been afraid to talk to me?"

That's why I felt bad. I didn't want him to think that I felt uncomfortable talking to him.

"I don't know…You can see that things are different between us, right?" I didn't want to explain the ways we were different. I hoped he saw the differences.

"Yeah. But you can still talk to me. Even if things are weird for now, I'm still the same person. I still care. You're not getting rid of me that easily." He smiled with the last sentence.

"Don't say that! I don't wanna get rid of you. And I never thought you didn't care about me. I just…I don't know. I know I shouldn't be nervous or scared, because it's you. But I am.
It doesn't matter though. Nervous or not, we're having this talk." No matter what, I wasn't going to back out of it.

"Good."

"Good." Good.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, and I was thankful for that.

Edward parked in front of his house and we walked to my house. When we walked in the front door, Charlie was watching TV, so we quickly said hi and went upstairs.

When we got to my room, I sat on my bed and Edward sat on my chair, wheeling himself back and forth.

"So, what's up?"

Was he trying to make small talk? I didn't want to prolong this anymore than we already had.

"Nothing. Okay, listen. Okay…"

He stopped pushing the chair back and forth, and picked up my softball from my desk instead. He started throwing it back and forth from hand to hand. "What? Whatever it is, just say it."

I had no idea how to bring it up. I didn't even know where to begin, and what I said next came out so quickly that it sounded like one word. "Alice told me you were in love with me."

Oh, holy fuck.

I brought my hands up to cover my mouth. That was definitely not how I'd wanted to start this.

He looked confused and put the softball back on my desk, leaning forward and putting his forearms on his legs as he looked at me. "Huh. Really? When?"

"Today. While, um, while I was getting ready at your house."

He was so calm, and I was scared that he was going to yell, but his voice was still calm when he spoke.

"Today…so, what, like, does Alice know what I'm thinking and how I feel? Or did she just pull that out of her ass?"

Why was he being so mean?

When I spoke, my voice was so small. "Um…no, she doesn't know how you feel or what you're thinking. She said everyone knows because of the way you act. But please, Edward.
Please don't act any differently because of what they think. I know you're not in love with me, so don't get mad." I didn't want him to completely act like we weren't best friends just
because people thought he was in love with me.

He stood up, and I knew he was going to end the conversation. We hadn't even gotten into anything else. I still wanted to ask him so much.

He was getting defensive. "Why would I act differently? Huh? When have we ever let what others think get in our way?"

My voice was still small, despite the fact that I wanted to speak up. "Never?"

"Exactly."

Um…what else did I want him to know? I still had no clue what to say, so I brought up anything. "When I asked you why you kissed me, I really did want to know. I wasn't trying
to be mean or anything."

"I know. And I answered you, remember? Just because. Because I wanted to. Haven't you ever seen some random guy and just felt the need to have him right then and there?"

I looked down in my lap. "Um…yeah…" It hurt that he thought of me as some 'random' girl when it came to things like that.

He held his hand out and shook his head. "Oh, and you're right. I'm not."

"You're not what?"

"In love with you." He turned and walked out my door, talking over his shoulder. "Be ready by 6:30, okay?"

I didn't want to go to this dinner. As much as I had told myself before that he wasn't in love with me, I wished he was.

Now I knew for a fact, heard it from his own mouth, that he wasn't. It didn't even seem as if a he gave a crap.

This was what it took to know how I felt. When he told me he wasn't in love with me, I knew that I was in love with him.

I heard him say bye to Charlie and heard him open and shut the door.

I walked over to my window and saw him walk out of my house.

He stopped for a second, and I hoped he would turn around and come back inside.

He didn't.

He just kept walking.

He was…what? I thought he was going home to get ready. Instead, he got in his car and drove off.

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