Charlie! That is all. :)

The clock read 3 am when Alice glanced at it through groggy eyes. Someone was pounding on the front door and ringing the doorbell like it was his or her job. She groaned, trying to ignore it. It persisted and Alice threw her pillow over her head.

"Hatter… Hatter," She nudged him with a sharp elbow and he barely flinched, mumbling something like 'no tea today.' When the knocking continued, Alice hit Hatter with her pillow.

"Hatter!"

"…Hmmm?"

"Someone's at the door."

"That's nice."

"Go get it!"

"You get it!"

"What if it's a robber?"

"Alice, robbers don't ring the doorbell…" Hatter trailed off, rolling over. Alice huffed, throwing back the covers.

As soon as her feet met the bare wood, she shrieked, jumping into Hatter's leather boots, which were way too big for her. She silently swore all the way the foyer, trying to think of ways to get back at Hatter, short of cutting off sex. That wasn't negotiable.

After slamming into a chair, the coffee table, and nearly knocking a lamp off the hall table, Alice reached the door, cranky and bruised. She tried to look through the peephole but her eyes were too bleary. Another round of ding-dongs and she thought she might snap.

"Coming!" She yelled, wrenching the door open. Alice blinked a few times, closed the door, opened it again, and rubbed her eyes.

"Charlie?"

"Alice of Legend!" The White Knight boomed, hugging her so enthusiastically that he lifted her off the ground. He spun her around again, as if to unwind her.

"Alice, this is my wife, Dorinda," He said proudly, presenting the little woman Alice had briefly glimpsed during Charlie's whirlwind hug. The little woman tottled over, extending a plump hand.

"Your wife?" Alice said, confused. "Nice to meet you, Dorinda. Sorry, that was rude."

"Not at all," Dorinda cooed, smiling.

"Where is your Harbinger?" Charlie asked and Alice knew Charlie's marriage story would have to wait.

"Asleep," She thumbed back towards their bedroom.

"Whatever for? Surely he heard the lovely dinging bell!"

"Actually, no," Alice grimaced, wondering then if maybe he had heard the bell after all. That would deserve a harsher punishment if that were the case. "Besides, it's three in the morning!"

"I shall awaken the Vassal," Charlie announced, minstrel-strutting to the door Alice had indicated.

"I wouldn't, Charlie-"

"Nonsense!" The arrant burst through the door and Hatter almost immediately yelped. A second later, something heavy hit the ground and Alice was pretty positive that it wasn't Hatter. The 'Vassal' scooted out of the bedroom, grabbing a washcloth from the hall closet and sprinted back into the room. A few moments more and Hatter came out of the bedroom, supporting Charlie. Charlie was clutching his nose with the cloth.

"What happened?" Dorinda squeaked and Alice was pretty sure she could formulate exactly what had happened.

"I think I broke his nose," Hatter shot a look to Alice, who laughed softly, shaking her head. She made for Charlie but Dorinda beat her to it. Hatter stepped back to Alice as Dorinda pulled a few tiny glass bottles out of her purse.

"That's not tea is it…" Hatter said warily and Alice grabbed his bare arm. He wasn't wearing a shirt but he had at least managed pajama pants. Alice couldn't be sure when he put them on; she wasn't exactly paying attention to his state of dress the night before. More like undress.

"It's not tea," Dorinda reassured him as she dropped the second bottle in her purse. She had administered two drops of each liquid into Charlie's nose.

"You might want to step back, I'm going to have to reset Charlie's nose," the woman instructed and Hatter groaned guiltily. He turned his back to Charlie and Dorinda shamefully and stared at Alice's feet. She cupped his cheek and he finally met her eyes, though he felt quite guilty.

"That could've been you," he winced at the crack of Charlie's nose. Charlie apparently felt nothing but passed out anyway.

"It wasn't me," Alice said sweetly, fingers gracing over his collarbone. He made a face of protest, but Alice shook her head to silence him.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Alice asked Dorinda, who was cleaning her hands with the washcloth.

"We do," She conceded. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you."

"I'm sorry I broke his nose," Hatter said regretfully. "He did scare the living daylights out of me."

"You can take the couch, it's a pull-out bed," Alice said, squeezing Hatter's hand. "We'll get the sheets.

"Thank you," Dorinda said gratefully. Charlie drooled on her skirts.

Alice held fast to Hatter's hand, dragging him to the closet. He just looked at her, ashamed.

"Don't," She warned gently, opening the closet and handing him a large quilt.

"Did you not see what I did to him?"

"Hatter. How many times have we had sex?" She whispered and his cheeks flushed.

"Alice, we have company!"

"Come on. Ballpark. How many times?" Alice crossed her arms. Hatter seriously thought about it but couldn't come up with a number.

"Let's say, we've had sex twenty times. That is twenty times that you have never hurt me. At least not in a bad way," She grinned, stroking his arm. "You never hit me. You never grabbed me too hard, except for a few bruises, all of which I begged for," Hatter held the quilt in front of his body, sucking in breath sharply. "If you snuck up on me, I'd probably throw you. Charlie scared the shit out of you and you protected yourself. That's all. Now unless you would like to sleep on the couch with Charlie and Dorinda, I suggest you keep your mouth shut about your arm. Besides, I think it's sexy." Alice skirted by him and took the sheets out into the living room, leaving Hatter dumbfounded in the hallway.

It was awhile before Alice felt tired again when she and Hatter had returned to their room. She listened to the gentle breaths as Hatter slept beside her, right arm wrapped around her waist. Hatter began talking in his sleep, mumbles mostly, but sighed softly into her hair.

"…Alice… I love… you… you have… pretty hair." He said and Alice giggled, shaking lightly against him. He tightened his hold, tracing light circles on her stomach. "Tea?... oh, yes please… love you…" He said nothing else. Alice linked her fingers through his lightly.

He loved her very much and told her so often, whether sleeping or awake. It filled her with so much joy that she felt like her heart would burst whenever he said it. She felt herself becoming emotional the more she thought about it. The only man that had ever been constant in her life was David Hatter, and he would do so the rest of her life. The one time Alice had asked Hatter about divorce in Wonderland, he had asked if it was a unique emotion that Wonderland had yet to hear of. When she explained that in a way, it was exactly that, he suggested that Earth keep 'divorce' to itself. Wonderland didn't need more contrived teas to tear it apart. Marriages lasted in Wonderland and that was that. She need not worry that he would die in a collapse of another card castle explosion, he reassured her one time. He would never leave her.

Alice cried softly, thinking about him, and about her father. She had traded one wonderful man for another, though she wished above all things that her father would be able to be at her wedding. She still blamed herself for his death. If she had just left when Hatter had told her to, he would still be alive. He wouldn't be on Earth, but he would be alive. And now she had Hatter here… and he was everything to her… but a part of her couldn't help but wish that there had been a way for her to see them in the same room, the most important men in her life at her side. The day the Carpenter had died didn't count; Hatter hadn't yet told her of his intentions and in that casino hall, she had been on the verge of losing them both. If Hatter hadn't come to her, to Earth, she would have.

"Baby," Hatter whispered, brushing her hair off her shoulder. "Why are you crying?" Alice turned in his arms at his insistence but couldn't make eye contact. He kissed her shoulder, resting his chin on it and urging Alice to speak.

"I didn't think you were awake," She whispered back, wiping her eyes with the pads of her thumbs.

"I had a bad dream; you were crying in my dream… so I woke up."

"That's a lie…" She laughed through her tears and Hatter chuckled.

"So what?" He smiled, rubbing her arm. "Why are you crying?" He asked gently again, nudging her cheek with his nose and resting his cheek on her shoulder. Alice sighed, lacing her fingers with his and holding it against her heart.

"You… you love me."

"And that makes you cry?" He laughed lightly.

"Don't make fun of me," She whimpered, though she couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry. Start again," Hatter urged.

"I dunno… It's hard to explain." Alice shook her head slightly. "Hatter…" Something suddenly occurred to her. "When did my father give you that note for me, the one on yellow paper?"

Hatter sat up slightly, propping his head up with his elbow and thinking.

"When he first arrived in Wonderland as an Oyster. He fell through the Looking Glass, as you did. I didn't own my shop then, I was just a runner for the Resistance. I thought he was a suit."

"When did he give you the note?"

"After the scarab spotted him. He had a black bag with him and he tore a sheet off a yellow pad of paper and scribbled on it, told me to give it to you if I ever met you. I told him the chances of that happening were slim but he insisted. He was very kind. His only concern was making sure you knew where he had gone in case he couldn't return."

Alice felt her eyes well again. Hatter had known her father, although very briefly.

"I'm sorry about him…" Hatter said kindly. Alice shook her head quickly, squeezing his hand.

"He would've liked you, getting to know you," She said softly.

"He did," Hatter smiled. "For the hour he was in my company, he was everything you've always painted him to be; kind, a gentleman, and concerned for you above all things."

"I th-think you know him better than I did," Alice whispered, curly towards him as her tears fell harder.

"He loved you," Hatter kissed her forehead tenderly. "You have to know that."

"Why didn't you tell me you had met him, when we first met?"

Hatter shifted so Alice was tucked into his side, under his chin.

"It was difficult for me to tell whether or not you were really his daughter, until you got his watch from Jack. You knew his name, so it had to be you. After that, you kept running away…" He tickled her arm slightly and smiled. "And it got to the point where I wasn't sure I could stand your reaction if… if you would hate me for it, run away again, and that would be it. Either the Queen would kill you… or you'd ran back home with the Prince."

"You mean Prince Puke," Alice corrected and Hatter laughed heartily.

"Never, in all my life, did I think I'd hear those words out of your mouth," Hatter grinned, reaching to his side table to grab his handkerchief. He swiped the light cloth gently beneath her eyes and smiled, kissing her cheek.

"I have an idea. Do you wanna hear it?" He asked, brushing her cheek.

"Mmhmm," Alice smiled finally.

"Charlie and Dorinda… do you think I look like them?"

Alice raised an eyebrow, confused.

"If you squint, maybe. Why?"

"I think… I think I've just found my parents." Hatter offered and her face lit up.

"Oh my God… I didn't even think about that… that's so perfect!"

"I know… They are… weird-"

"But so are you, so that isn't a problem," Alice grinned when he scowled. "And they sound like you too. My mom would certainly believe they're British."

"It's so perfect. I'll ask them about it in the morning."

"They also need some place to live-"

"Thought of that," He smiled triumphantly. "There's another Resistance apartment in New York. I'm going to go break in- I mean check it out tomorrow."

"If it's Jack's apartment, the bathroom window can't lock. You can access it by the fire escape. Just got to muscle it open."

"Brilliant. I knew you were good for something. Though," He grimaced. "I don't want to know how you know that about the window."

"The same reason you know how hard to close the balcony door."

"…You slammed the window shut?"

"Jack pissed me off once, while I was in the bathroom, trying to get away from him. So I climbed out the window and slammed it shut. It never closed right after that."

Hatter seemed quite pleased with this answer, though he got a funny look on his face a moment later.

"I know this seems a little belated… but you and Jack never… you know."

"No," Alice smiled. "Though… would it matter if we had?"

"It would give me a reason to return to Wonderland."

"You'd leave me?" She asked, hitting his arm.

"No, I'd be back. I'd just have to go kill the jackass for beating me to the punch. Or… punch him for… you get it. He'd be dead." Hatter looked quite serious but Alice laughed.

Hatter traced delicate patterns on her arm, then her back.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah… I'm ok."

"I love you, my Alice," He kissed her lips lightly.

"Do you want me to cry again?" Alice covered her face.

"Will you cry every time I tell you that I love you?"

"Probably," She said, muffled by her hands and Hatter smiled, laughing.

"Then yes. I want you to cry all the time, every day, for the rest of our lives."

"I'll use a lot of Kleenex."

"I'll buy you a Kleenex factory."

"What?" Alice laughed, looking up at him.

"I'll buy you a handkerchief factory. I'll buy you a house made entirely out of Kleenex and handkerchiefs." Hatter rolled to his back, holding her against his chest tightly.

"You're very thoughtful." Alice giggled. "Thank you."

'I love you,' he mouthed, winking.

A/N: Just about the only thing I own in this story is Dorinda and Carol's puppy Jim. Ha. Hope you enjoyed it!