Blaine hadn't actually expected Kurt to transfer. But suddenly, Kurt was walking the halls with Blaine and chatting about how absolutely horrible the uniforms were. Blaine tried to pass on his best advice for survival at Dalton – Don't try to stand out – but he knew that it wasn't what Kurt had wanted to hear.

Thankfully, Wes, David, Nick, and the other eleventh grade Warblers helped Kurt to assimilate into Dalton's academic side.

All too soon, the weekend of sectionals arrived and the Warblers found themselves staying after school until well past nightfall in order to perfect their routines. Blaine was nervous as he strove to perfect his first competition solos – his first solos for any audience other than the Dalton students and faculty. From everything that Kurt had said about the New Directions, Blaine wasn't sure if he was going to be enough, no matter how much Thad raved about his infectious charisma.

After the results were announced, the two winning choirs filed backstage. Kurt was immediately engulfed by his old teammates.

"Kurt, you were amazing!" gushed a pretty Asian girl.

"Thanks," he replied, smiling sadly at them. "What was up with you guys? I mean, you were fantastic as usual and it was great to finally hear someone other than Rachel, no offense, but I guess I'm just a little bit shocked."

"We all were when Mr. Schue made the decision," a black girl replied.

Blaine, after having finished a quick conversation with Nick, turned to find Kurt to see how he had enjoyed his first competition as a Warbler. The older boy grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the group of New Directions. "Guys, this is Blaine," Kurt said. "Blaine, this is Mercedes, Tina, Rachel, Finn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Quinn, and Sam."

Blaine was a little overwhelmed by all the names and faces being thrown at him, but he smiled politely.

"Kurt's told us all about you," Rachel said.

"Oh?" Blaine raised his eyebrows and looked to Kurt who, for some reason, was blushing.
"I just told them about how you're the lead singer," Kurt said.

"Which is very impressive, considering you're just a sophomore," Rachel said. "You seem to be following in my star-making footsteps."

Blaine smiled a little. He could remember Kurt telling him all about Rachel Berry. "Thanks, I guess. I think we're just lucky to have gotten Kurt here to join the Warblers."

Mercedes shot Kurt a suggestive look, and the tall boy had to step on her foot to keep her from talking. Blaine noticed, but said nothing.

Right before the teams left to go their separate ways, the tallest member of New Directions – Finn – approached Blaine. He shifted awkwardly before opening his mouth to speak. "I just wanted to say thanks, man. You really helped Kurt these last few weeks. I wish I could have done more to help him – he is my brother, after all – but stuff at McKinley is … complicated. So thanks."

Blaine nodded and shook the older boy's hand. As he walked away with the Warblers, all he could think was, Brother?

"Oh, that," Kurt said, laughing slightly from his seat next to Blaine on the bus. "Our parents got married earlier in the month. We're not blood, but I kind of like the idea of not being an only child anymore, even if it is only two years before we go to college. I hope Finn didn't scare you or anything."

"No, not at all. He thanked me, actually. Which is weird considering I basically stole you from him and your old glee club..."

"He knew how miserable the bullying made me."

"Did he know the full extent of the bullying?" Kurt shook his head. "Did anyone?"

Kurt shook his head again. "And if you don't mind, I'd like to keep it that way."

"Of course," Blaine replied earnestly. He knew better than anyone why Kurt didn't want to share.

The next week passed in a blur – teachers were piling on the work in preparation for midterms and winter break.

Blaine woke on Friday morning and felt a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach as he looked at the calendar. One year.

His parents seemed to know exactly what was on Blaine's mind as he sat down for breakfast. They knew not to push too hard.

Blaine arrived at school just as the first bell was ringing and slid into his desk in his first period class a few minutes late.

"What's up?" Jeff whispered, leaning over so the teacher wouldn't overhear.

"Overslept," Blaine muttered. He ignored Jeff's further attempts to engage him, and flipped open his textbook.

Blaine didn't look at the words on the page in front of him. He simply stared at the year-old picture of two happy boys before their first dance together.

By the end of the day, everyone knew that Blaine was in a bad mood and they all knew to stay away from the lead Warbler. No one seemed to know why, though. He should have been ecstatic from the tie at sectionals. But Warblers practice found Blaine sitting sullenly on a couch while the others jumped up to begin learning new choreography.

"Come on, Blaine," David said to his friend. He knew that Blaine was upset for some reason, but he couldn't show preference just because Blaine was one of his best friends. "You have to participate. You're the lead singer."

"I don't really feel like dancing today," came Blaine's short reply.

David caught Blaine's real meaning, and all the pieces fell into place. "Oh, Blaine," he said, joining him on the couch.

Blaine looked up briefly and David found tears in his friend's eyes. "Is it today? I mean, is today the anniversary?"

Blaine nodded.

"I'm so sorry," David said, patting Blaine's back comfortingly.

That seemed to break down Blaine's walls, because the sophomore began to talk, saying more about that night than David had ever heard before. "I'm just so scared. I know it's irrational, that I'm safe here, but every time I start dancing or smiling or feeling even remotely comfortable, their voices just fill my head. All the jeers and taunts. And it's like I can feel every punch, every kick. And no one heard or tried to stop it. … I really miss him, David."

David gave his friend a tight hug, ignoring the looks from other Warblers who had noticed that he and Blaine still hadn't joined in.

"Go home."

Blaine looked up in surprise. "What?"

"You're not going to get anything done here, I can already tell that. So go home and try to feel better, okay?"

The faintest hint of a smile crossed Blaine's features. "Thanks, David."

While Blaine waited in the parking lot for his mother, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. It still felt natural for his fingers to ghost over those numbers, even though it had been so many months since he had called.

"Hello?"

Blaine felt warmth fill his body as he heard the familiar voice. "Candi. Hi. It's Blaine."

"Blaine." He could hear the girl's voice break as she said his name.

"Can I come over? I don't want to be alone today."

"Of course. You know that you're always welcome here."

Blaine could tell that his mother was a little disappointed that he didn't want to spend the day with her, but she didn't push it. On a normal day, he would have tried to be more sensitive to her, but he couldn't really make himself care today.

She dropped him off in front of the Adams house with a small smile. "Call me when you need to get picked up."

The front door was flung open before Blaine could reach it, and a small body launched itself into his arms. "Blaine!" Sarah cried.

"Hey, Sar," he said, ruffling her hair.

"Why don't you come to visit us anymore, Blaine? I missed you!"

"I missed you, too. I've just been really busy at school."

"Oh." The little girl looked like she completely understood, and Blaine almost laughed at the serious expression on her face. "I know what you mean. They're teaching me how to multiple a three digit number by a one digit number and it's really hard. Want to see my new doll?"

Candi arrived at the bottom of the stairs at that moment, and managed to pull Blaine away from her younger sister. "Sarah, have you finished your homework?" she asked in a stern voice.

Sarah sheepishly looked at the ground. "No," she admitted guiltily.

"No playing with Blaine until you finish."

"Fine," the young girl replied before stomping upstairs to her room.

"Don't mind her," Candi says, a bit awkwardly. This is the first time Blaine has been to the house without Jay.

"I never have," Blaine says, and the two can feel the tension build.

"So, shall we go to my room?"

Blaine nods, and the two climb the stairs. As they make their way down the hallway, Blaine can't help but stare at the first door. It's closed, maybe locked, but a sign still hangs on it, declaring it forever as, "Jay's Room."

Blaine tries not to think about the last time he was in that room. About how he and Jay had laughed at each other. About what it had led to.

He follows Candi into her room and sits in the chair near her desk. "So," he finally says. "How are things for you?"

Candi stops to think for a moment. "Pretty good, I guess. The beginning of the year was a little tough since I switched to the other high school." Blaine must have looked surprised because Candi scoffed and said, "Did you really think I would want to go there – or that my parents would even let me – after what happened?"

"Right," Blaine murmured.

"Anyway, it was weird since it's farther away and I didn't know anyone. But I guess you probably know that better. At least … at least I switched at the beginning of the year. But I've been pretty good. Or, as good as I can be considering everything."

"How about your parents?" Blaine whispered.

"It's been tough. On all of us. They try not to show it, but mom cried herself to sleep every night for a month after the funeral. I think we all did. Sarah was the worst, because she kept thinking Jay was coming back. She knows what it means to die, but she always thought it only happened to old people."

Candi looked like she was about to cry, and Blaine hated himself for causing this. If he had just kept in contact, then she wouldn't have to relive everything. If he had just stayed away from Jay in the first place, the family would be complete. Happy.

"You know what, I'm sorry," Blaine said, abruptly standing up. "I should go. You really don't have to talk about this, and it's all my fault. I need to go."

He began fumbling for his cell phone as he turned to leave the room, but felt Candi's hand on his arm. "I don't know how many times I have to say it before you'll believe it, Blaine. It's not your fault. And we really miss you. We want you to be here today."

The younger girl's soft words broke Blaine. Soon the two were holding each other and crying, sinking to the floor.

When the tears had cleared, Blaine and Candi exchanged embarrassed grins. She sobered up quickly, though, and turned to Blaine and asked, "You loved him, didn't you?"

Blaine was completely taken aback. "Yes," he whispered. "As a friend, mostly. But, I felt something at the dance, and I think that if we'd had more time, it may have been more."

"He loved you, too."

Blaine ended up staying for dinner. The whole meal was more subdued than usual, except for Sarah's interjections into the conversation. Before leaving, Mary and Dan hugged Blaine tightly and reminded him to call them any time. Blaine embraced Candi and leaned down to kiss Sarah on the cheek before running out to his car.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw that he had plenty of new messages from the Warblers. None of them knew the exact significance of today, except David, but many of them seemed to have guessed. Kurt, however, still knew nothing. Blaine's stomach clenched uncomfortably. He and Kurt were quickly becoming close friends. He didn't want to tell Kurt everything, but didn't think it fair that some of the Warblers he barely knew knew more about his life just because they'd gone to the funeral.

Blaine made up his mind to tell Kurt, but chickened out at the last minute. Instead, he made up some excuse about needing a duet partner to practice Baby, It's Cold Outside. It wasn't a complete lie; he really was going to be singing it at the King's Island Christmas Spectacular, but he'd already had plenty of practice. It was just the first thing he could think of.

Singing with Kurt – just Kurt – had felt really nice. Kurt seemed to understand him in a way that only Jay had before. And Blaine liked the way Kurt seemed to go to him for advice, much like he had once gone to Jay.

The hurt of losing Jay would never go away. But Kurt's friendship seemed to dull the ache.

Christmas was a much cheerier affair than last year's. Cooper came home again and brought Hannah with him. She's Jewish, and although she had plenty of Christian friends, she'd never properly celebrated Christmas before. Blaine's grandparents fly in from Chicago and make a fuss over how much he's grown (he hasn't) and how handsome he's become.

Dinner on Christmas Day includes all the Andersons, as well as Mary, Dan, Candi, and Sarah.

Blaine makes sure to call Kurt, Jeff, Wes, David, and Nick to wish them happy holidays.

When school resumes, Blaine begins to hang out with Kurt every day. They go out for coffee after every Warbler's practice and spend the weekends either shopping or talking on the phone. He even goes to a McKInley football game with Kurt, though he is the only one to enjoy the football part. He remembers to keep in contact with Mary and Dan, and stops in for dinner every so often. Slowly but surely, his life is becoming normal again.

Then Valentine's Day happens. It's as if the entire world is trying to remind Blaine that he is alone and his best friend (who he loved) is dead.

He and Kurt go to the Lima Bean for coffee, and Blaine tries to hide his bad mood by talking about how much he loves the holiday while he orders their coffees. He can't help but agree with Kurt's more cynical view. Jokingly, he asks if Kurt has a special man to spend the day with, and Kurt turns red and changes the topic quickly.

The Warblers take advantage of the free time before Regionals to work on fun numbers. They end up going over to Crawford, Dalton's sister school, to serenade Nick's girlfriend. Kurt gushes over how sweet and romantic the moment was – and Blaine doesn't want to ruin it for him by pointing out the pack of condoms that Nick slipped in his bag before leaving.

Blaine and Kurt returned to the Lima Bean after the performance and began a comfortable conversation when it happened. Kurt smiled at Blaine as he brought the two coffees over to their usual table.

"You know my coffee order?" Kurt asked.

"Of course," Blaine replied. "You order the same thing every time."

"Want to split my cookie?" Kurt asked holding up a heart shaped cookie iced in pink and white. Blaine simply shrugs.

"Sure."

Kurt cut it in half and passed it over to Blaine. Their fingers brushed, and Kurt quickly pulled away. Blaine happily bit off a piece of cookie, oblivious to the turmoil going on behind Kurt's practiced, cool facade.

"Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"We hang out all the time, and you know my coffee order, and … God, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The thing is, I really like you, Blaine. Would you maybe like to get dinner with me sometime? Like, a date?"

Blaine froze. This was the last thing he had been expecting to hear from anyone – especially Kurt. Blaine stuttered a bit before finally forming a coherent sentence. "Um, Kurt, I really like you, but as a friend. I'm not really in a good emotional place for anything more."

Kurt looked crushed, but he quickly smoothed over his features. "Of course. I was just caught up in the moment, you know, Valentine's Day and all that..."

The two quickly finished their coffees in an awkward silence and parted for the day.

He barely sees Kurt the next day at school – they have no classes together and sit at opposite ends of the table at lunch. If anyone notices the sudden tension between the two boys, they don't mention it.

Blaine felt like he had just kicked a puppy. He couldn't get Kurt's crestfallen look out of his mind. Maybe I should just tell him, Blaine thought to himself. But where can I even start? He'll probably hate me more for keeping it from him. So Blaine says nothing to Kurt. They talk a bit over the next two days, and go out for coffee again on Friday.

All seems to be forgotten.

About a week later, Kurt calls Blaine at night.

"Hey Kurt. What's up?"

"Are you busy this weekend?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Well Rachel Berry is throwing a party for the New Directions. If you want to come."

"Um, sure. I guess so."

"Great," Kurt said, relieved. He didn't want Blaine to think he was asking him out again...even though he was. "If you want, you can meet at my house so I can drive you and Finn over."

"That sounds great, Kurt."

The morning of the party, Blaine performed with the Ohio Youth Orchestra in a sold out concert in Columbus. It didn't feel right, though. Violin was once the biggest part of his life, but it is now becoming a chore. Blaine will never stop playing, but he doesn't know if he can continue taking so many lessons along with his commitment to Warblers and all his school work. He makes up his mind to quit at the end of the year.

A few hours later, Blaine's mother dropped him off in front of Kurt's house and he walks to the door. This is the first time he's ever been to Kurt's house. He's a little bit nervous, but apparently has no need to be when Kurt flings open the door before he can even reach it.

They chat a bit among themselves until Finn comes barreling in through the front door, apologizing for being late and promising to get dressed quickly.

Blaine had never had much luck with alcohol – with a shudder, he remembers everything he said the last time he was drunk – so he decides not to have anything to drink if there is any at the party. He can be the boring, proper prep school kid that he's sure they all assume he is.

But after awkwardly sitting in the corner of Rachel Berry's basement for half an hour, watching as Kurt messed around with his friends, Blaine decided he needed to loosen up. He poured himself a cup of punch - just one, he reminded himself - and began drinking.

The alcohol seemed just to amplify whatever thoughts were floating around his head and make them more intense. Soon, he was feeling extremely anxious around all the new people as well as confused about his life in general. Just a few hours ago, Blaine had made a life-changing decision to put the violin on the back burner. He really needed another drink. He caught a glimpse of Kurt as the older boy talked to Finn, and was reminded with a pang of guilt of how he had rejected him. Kurt is awesome. Blaine really likes him - as a friend. Anyway, hes not ready for a relationship. Especially if he can't bring himself to tell Kurt the truth.

Without even thinking about it, Blaine pours himself some more to drink, forgetting how much he's already had.

He spies Kurt and Finn across the room and laughs. Finn is so tall. Like, crazy tall. He's like a giant. Blaine decides to tell them that. And that its so cool that they're brothers even though they're not...

Someone across the room lets out a delighted giggle. "Spin the bottle! Let's play spin the bottle!"

Blaine thinks it sounds like as good an idea as any, so he sits down next to Kurt in the circle of New Directions. Moments later, or maybe it's much longer, time seems to be moving strangely... the bottle is pointing to him. He looks up to see Rachel Berry. "Blaine Warbler, I am going to rock your world!"

She crawls forward to meet his lips. Rachel tastes like alcohol and her greedy lips suck at Blaine's. He's never been kissed before, so he's unsure of what to do next. Tongue. That sounds right. It might feel all wrong, but...he's supposed to do that. Despite his inebriated state, Blaine still knows that he needs to do what is expected of him. When they finally break apart, Rachel forces him to sing with her. He does, but only after another long drink of...something. Afterwards, he stumbles to the couch to sit next to Kurt. "I just kissed Rachel even though I'm gay!" he says simply. Kurt looks a bit annoyed.

"Could have fooled me."

Blaine is a bit hurt at Kurt's tone before remembering that the older boy had - or maybe still has - feelings for him.

"You don't want me, Kurt. The last person who got close to me died." He gets up to get something more to drink, missing Kurt's shocked and worried expression.

Some time later, Kurt is dragging him from Rachel Berry's clutches (how did he get there?) and taking him to the car.

"You're so nice, Kurt. You deserve the best boyfriend ever. I'll help you find him. Maybe one of the guys at Dalton, they'll treat you better than..." he trailed off before saying Karofsky's name, or his own. Kurt rolled his eyes and dragged Blaine up the stairs in his house (when did they get there?) and into his bed (his bed! together!).

There is an insane pounding on the inside of Blaine's skull. He knows this feeling. He must still be in the hospital. That was a really great dream he had been having. Maybe if he falls back to sleep, it'll continue. Vivid, too. But he's way less comfortable than in the hospital bed...and he thought they had white sheets. And he is definitely wearing jeans right now, not some flimsy hospital gown.

Now there's a voice shouting something behind, so he moves his head a bit. Maybe this will answer where he is and what is going on. Blaine opens his eyes and the light instantly blinds him and intensifies his headache. Bad idea. There's another voice now. Softer and musical. Something clicks into place for Blaine and memories come rushing back. Kurt. The party. Alcohol. Did he say anything?

He tries not to look at Kurt or talk to him too much, too afraid of what he might have let slip. He eats a hurried breakfast, thanks the Hummels for letting him sleep over, and calls his mother for a ride.

Once Blaine is in the familiarity of his own bedroom, he finally relaxes. He has a cup of coffee so black that it's practically solid. Hopefully that will take the edge off of his hangover. I will never drink again, Blaine vows to himself.

Blaine is careful to avoid Kurt at school for the next few days. It proves to be more difficult than he had anticipated, though, since Kurt seems to have made it his mission to talk to Blaine about Saturday night. Kurt finally gives up on Blaine, and turns to David.

"Um, David, can I talk to you?" Kurt asks after their math class.

"Sure, Kurt, whats up?"

"It's about Blaine. He went to a party with me and the kids from my old school on Saturday night and -"

"Got seriously smashed?' David guessed. When Kurt affirmed it with a nod of his head, he laughed. "Yeah, Blaine can't hold his alcohol. He's such a lightweight."

"I realized that. But then he started talking. He said he was pretty messed up, and I thought he meant he was drunk, but then he said something about how the last person who got close to him died."

David's eyes flashed for a moment, but he quickly hid the recognition. "I think you should ask Blaine about that. He says a lot of stuff when he's drunk. Only some of it is true."

Kurt found Blaine in the library at lunch. "Are you avoiding me?" he asked.

"No."

"Then why are you in the library instead of hanging with your friends like you normally do?"

"Gee, I don't know, Kurt. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was so hungover yesterday I could do nothing but lie in the dark and listen to really, really quiet music."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I have a test in history that I haven't even begun to study for, so could you please leave me alone so I can try to cram?"

"Sure, but Blaine... Can we talk about Saturday when you're done?"

No no no! Blaine screamed in his head. "Sure, Kurt, whatever." I'll just have to do a better job at hiding.

Blaine ended up staying in his history class after the bell so he could finish his test. He barely made it to his next class on time - he found himself barreling through the empty halls and barging through the door, totally out of breath, just as the teacher was about to take attendance. That gave him an idea, and he stayed after every one of his remaining classes to talk to his teachers and avoid Kurt.

After Warblers rehearsal, Kurt cornered Blaine and invited him out for coffee. He claimed that he still had a ton of work to catch up on after neglecting it for the weekend, but he could tell from Kurt's narrowed eyes that the older boy didn't quite believe him.

The next day, Kurt cornered Blaine and handed him a coffee "to make up for missing it yesterday". He smiled and thanked Kurt and walked down the hall toward class with him. Kurt made no mention of the party and what Blaine might have said. Instead, he babbled on about his old glee club. After seeing Kurt with them on Saturday night, Blaine could tell how much he missed them. The Warblers were great, But dalton was not Kurt's style. He liked to stand out, and Dalton was all about fitting in.

"So, is there anything you want to tell me?"

Blaine froze. Was the interrogation about what he had blurted Saturday night going to commence? "N-no. Why?"

"I talked to Rachel last night."

"Oh." Blaine turned bright red. "That."

Blaine thought back to the previous night. He had been sitting in his room working on his homework when his phone rang and displayed an unfamiliar number. Trepidatiously, he had answered.

"Blaine Warbler," a drunk Rachel had slurred.

"Rachel?"

"Our kiss Saturday night was so hot."

Kiss?!

"Want to see if there's something real between us?"

"I'm gay, Rachel, you know that."

"Oh, come on, Blaine you're no fun and you're such a good kisser. We can go to Breadstix and see a movie."

"I'm sorry, Rachel. You seem like a great girl and I might be attracted to you if I was straight, but I'm not."

He hung up the phone and sat against his headboard, wracking his mind for memories of kissing Rachel. They come back to him slowly, disjointed and blurry pieces. Blaine buries his face in his pillow and screams out of frustration and embarrassment.

"You let her down nicely, right?" Kurt asked, laughing at how uncomfortable Blaine looks as he thinks about kissing Rachel.

"I - I think so. I mean, I've never really done that before..."

Kurt just laughed and pulled Blaine along down the hall. "Don't worry about it, she'll bounce back, she's got thick skin. She's just a little insane."

Kurt doesn't ask about anything Blaine may or may not have said on Saturday. He's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed.