vii. wants
He wants her. Not in the sense that he wants her as though he wants to push her against the wall and ravage her like crazy; though the thought has crossed his mind. Not that he'll ever admit it to her. No, he doesn't want her as much as he needs her; she's like a drug to him, with her crimson red hair and her vanilla scented body wash. It's more apparent to him now than ever - how that ever so melancholy yet happy feeling bubbles up inside of him when she smiles, how when she walks by his heart catches in his throat and his stomach churns. And now, watching her stand there next to Castle, Ryan and Esposito in front of her desk, he realizes just how bad he needs her.
Instinctively, his fists curl into balls in the pocket of his jacket. He knows this is all his fault, he knows he never should have left in the first place, he knows the only reason they are not together anymore is because of him. But knowing doesn't stop him from wanting. And if there is one thing that Will Sorenson wants in this world it is Kate Beckett.
He needs to find another job. A far far-away-from-here type of job. Because he doesn't know how much more of this he can take.
Kate is talking to Castle and even from this distance Will can hear the smile in her voice. She sounds happy, she looks happy and it even though he likes to see her happy; part of him hates it because he knows that he's no longer the one making her smile. No, the man now responsible for that smile is the tall, blue eyed writer with boyish good looks and charm that is currently leaning up against her desk and teasing her gently. Will continues to watch as Castle says something sarcastic to her, causing Kate to give him an affronted look but Will can make out the amusement dancing in her eyes.
It's at that moment that he realizes he's lost.
Will Sorenson still wants Kate Beckett.
But Kate Beckett no longer wants him.