Disclaimer: Nothing recognizable is mine. A lot of the dialogue is direct from the show. No copyright infringement intended.

But I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
Fools Like Me - Lisa Loeb

We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven days a week, fourteen hours a day. We're together more than we're apart. And after a while the ways of residency become the ways of life. Number one: always keep score. Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three? Don't make friends with the enemy. And number four: everything, everything's a competition.

I am still mostly asleep. Vaguely, I can hear Derek's breath, which I feel, warm, against the back of my neck, and the pattering of Seattle rain against my window. I'm cozy, wrapped tightly in my blanket and content to be asleep. Despite the fog of my sleep, whispers break through from the other side of the door.

There's a loud voice saying, "You can't go in there, her husband is in there she…"

Whoever was speaking was cut off by a quick, "I don't care."

Barely aware that my door is opening, I adjust the comforter to cover Derek's face. He had been laughing the night before about the fact that it had been two days and our roommates still hadn't realized that the Seattle Grace Hospital's infamous McDreamy was my husband. I know they would find out soon, but I keep putting off telling them. I'm not ready for the judgement and the accusations.

My happy bubble of sleep is popped when I get the sensation that someone is watching me. Eyes snapping open, I sit straight up in bed to see Izzie standing in my room, holding her mug. Surprised, I cry out, "Aaah," and frantically, I check to make sure Derek isn't visible. Sighing once I'm sure she can't see who he is, I turn to her angrily.

"George's room is bigger than mine," She says, as if it is the most pressing matter in the world.

Still half asleep, I climb out of bed, leaving an unconscious Derek covered and alone. As I step away from my warm cocoon, I trip over a box that we had yet to unpack from the move. Now limping, I start to walk towards the laundry room. The sooner I get clean clothing, the sooner I can get back to my room and barricade myself away from my roommates. Izzie follows me through the house, it's as if the universe has a vendetta against me being well rested.

"I have more clothes, I should have the bigger room," Izzie argues.

We pass George who is blockading his room with his body. He snaps, "I got here first."

They bicker as they follow me down the stairs and across the house. I decide to ignore them as the suggest unpacking and making the home more homey. It's too early for this. If I had it my way the house would just be me and Derek. But for some reason he got it in his mind that roommates would be an exciting change due to the fact that we've always lived on our own. I think he might have brain damage, to even suggest filling the house with other people. Sure the house was big and filled with bad memories, but at least it was quiet. Once I have my clothes for the day, I make my way back upstairs with my roommates still stalking me.

At the end of the hallway, I slip into my room and slam the door in Izzie's face. A moment later I open the door again, grab the mug of coffee Izzie has been holding, and then slam the barrier between my roommates' and myself closed again. Derek jolts awake from the two loud slams and looks around blearily. Nobody at the hospital would believe me if I told them McDreamy always woke up with the worst bed head I have ever seen, not to mention his halitosis. "Wha's goin on?" He mumbles, not yet fully cognizant.

I slide against the door to the ground and sigh, "You just had to want roommates."

After what felt like an eternity, Izzie and George left for the hospital together, leaving Derek and I alone in the house. Awake before him, I am already prepared to leave as he's just climbing into the shower. As he enters the bathroom, he turns to me and quirks his eyebrows. His towel is laying low on his waist, dangerously low. He offers for me to join him and for a long moment I consider it. Then my third alarm for the morning starts blaring from our bedroom and I remember that because of him I'm running late. Ignoring Derek's offer for shower sex, I push him into the bathroom, telling him he has ten minutes before I leave him behind as I go to work.

Half an hour later, we're walking towards the hospital hand in hand. Derek had to use a lot of kissing to convince me, but I agreed to join him at the coffee place down the street from the hospital instead of eating breakfast at home. We're at the corner, two blocks from the hospital, when I drop his hand quickly, as if I were suddenly burnt. He looks at me confused before I cock my head towards Miranda Bailey, my resident and Derek's coworker, standing mere feet from us.

"Ah," Derek says, as realization dawns over him. Smiling, he walks towards Bailey and I groan as I follow him, "Morning Dr. Bailey," Derek says with a smile before taking a large gulp of his coffee.

I'm about to add a greeting when Bailey lifts her hand and orders, "Shut up."

With mock offense but real confusion, Derek asks, "You realize that I'm an attending and you're only a resident? So you work for me, right?" I giggle a little before taking a sip of my own coffee, hoping Bailey didn't notice I laughed at her and get mad at me. My enjoyment seems to go straight over Bailey's head as she keeps looking around as if the thought she lost would just walk around the corner and remind her what she was thinking.

Mostly talking to herself Bailey continues, "I know I've forgotten something, something is happening today, I know I should know what it is, but I just can't," she shakes her head as she lets her sentence hang in the air unfinished.

"Alright," Derek says, clearly done with the conversation, "Nice talking to you Dr. Bailey," He starts to cross the street and directs his attention to me, smiling a little, "Dr. Grey, you'll talk to me right?"

I start to reply when all of a sudden Derek is grabbing me and dragging me back onto the sidewalk. My coffee goes plummeting to the ground and I grab onto Derek's collar to steady myself. Bikers are everywhere, crashing into trees, fire hydrants, and each other. Behind us, a biker wipes out on the sidewalk. As the onslaught continues, I remain in Derek's arms, despite the fact that Bailey is next to us. Everything is chaos as people go flying by and ramming into every and any obstacle. It takes about three minutes for the majority of the bikers to pass and for me to final remove myself from Derek's arms. Bailey gives us a strange look as she mumbles something about dead babies.

"What the hell just happened?" I ask her, as the three of us start to cross the now relatively bikerless street.

Once we're in the hospital I learn that the biker anarchy in the streets is because of something called the Dead Baby Bike Race. Some bar in the city holds an underground race every year. It's dangerous and sometimes deadly, which Derek and I experienced first person this morning after he thought it was a good idea to go out and get coffee. I don't care if we can't hold hands, from now on morning coffee is always coming from the hospital coffee cart, where I know I won't be killed by lunatics in the streets. On the bright side, those lunatics are supposed to lead to fantastic surgeries. While I don't understand the bike race, I'm looking forward to an exciting day at work. With the bike race, us interns have our first big trauma coming in and I'm pumped, I'm monumentally pumped.

Walking into the pit is incredible. It's the first time I've seen every bed full. There's so much happening and I can feel adrenaline starting to flow.

Cristina puts it perfectly when she celebrates, "Oh, it's like candy, but with blood, which is so much better." And just like that we scatter, each of us looking for the coolest injury. Despite the fact that Bailey warned us not to fight over patients, we all argue anyways. Everything's a competition right now and I'm planning on winning. Scanning the ER, my eyes fall in a bored looking biker with nails sticking out of his side.

My eyes go wide and I decide, "Ooh. I'll take that guy." In the spirit of competition, Alex also wants my patient. Despite the fact that the nails could be puncturing any number of organs, Alex just rips them out without even performing an x-ray or ultrasound. He has to be out of his mind. As soon as the nails are out, Alex walks away, as if he saved the day.

Viper, the patient, is adamant that I don't take him for tests. Instead, I'm left to suture his wounds. As I work, I repeatedly let him know that he needs a more thorough examination.

"Ah, you got a nice touch," He flirts, "And by the way, you are a rocking babe."

Looking up at him, I smirk, "Seriously, do you actually think you have a shot here?" The idiot goes and gets himself impaled and then thinks he can win over his doctor. What an idiot. That seems to be a trend among men in this hospital, being an idiot. First Derek with wanting the roommates, then Alex and the pulling out nails, and now Viper with the flirting with his doctor. Finished with the sutures, I urge Viper to at least have one CT, and being an idiot like all the men in SGH, he just wants to finish his race.

He keeps flirting with me and my mind flashes to Derek this morning with his towel nearly falling off his hips, "What is it with you guys and your need to dirty everything up?" I give him the AMA forms to sign, after trying to convince him to get a test one last time. He's almost out the door when he spins around and grabs me. I don't have time to react before he's kissing me. After a second of initial shock, I push him away. I'm too stunned to do anything. It's been years since anybody other than Derek has kissed me and this kiss, being so unexpected, has left me frozen in place.

"Don't worry, darling," He promises as he saunters out, "You'll see me again."

I call after him, "For your sake, I hope not." Huffing angrily, I rip off my gloves before wiping at my mouth. I did not need that. I did not want that. What is it with men and being idiots. After a moment, I got to clear the bedding for the trauma room so the next patient has a sterile surface. I'm working for a moment before I look up and see Derek through the window, hands on his hips.

"Shit," I hiss, as he moves to come in. I keep working until he opens the door. Looking at him, I say casually, "What do you want?"

Still in the doorway, Derek asks, "You make out with patients now? You won't kiss me in the hospital but you make out with patients?"

From the look in his eyes I know he's joking. If he saw the kiss that means he saw my reaction and he knows I was absolutely against it. He's just using this to push my buttons, to try to get me to allow our marriage to exist in the walls of the hospital. "What," I say, "Are you jealous?"

"I don't get jealous," He says defensively, closing the door behind him. Involuntarily, I snort. That is a load of crap. Derek Shepherd gets jealous all the time. He's my husband, I love him desperately, but he is a very jealous man.

Going to finish Viper's AMA, I shrug, "You agreed, not in the hospital."

"We kissed in the elevator," Derek argues.

I glare at him, "We kissed in the elevator, once." I emphasize the once because my plan is for it to never happen again.

"No, seriously," Derek practically begs, "Just tell people. I mean come on, we're married."

"No."

Changing tactics, Derek lowers his shoulders in an stance I assume is supposed to look vulnerable. "You know, I almost died today," He tells me, "Yeah, I came like this close," He holds his hands close together as if that's the exact distance he was between here and the beyond, "How would you feel if I died? And you didn't get a chance to sleep with me in an on-call room?"

I roll my eyes, "That's what this is about?"

"Come on," He pleads.

"You're ridiculous," I say, "You know that, right?"

He slides his hands in his pockets and he smiles his stupid McDreamy smile, "You're the one who married me, I think that makes you ridiculous too."

Putting down the forms I had been filling out I glare at him. "This is a game to you," I say seriously, "But not to me. I love you, but I can't do this in here. I need to be my own doctor first. I can't be Mrs. Shepherd in here. Because unlike you, I still have something to prove."

Finishing on that note, I leave the room. He turns slowly to watch me. I can feel his eyes on me but I keep walking forward. This would be so much easier if he stopped pushing it. I just need this to be secret for a little longer. I need to establish myself before everyone assumes that I'm here from riding on my husband's coat tails and not my own merit.