Author's Note:
Hey again guys, sorry for the late update. Wrists are healing but I keep pushing them to their limits repeatedly lol I'm so bad XP I hope to update more frequently until this story is done lol I've got ideas for other things but I'm not sure how well I can keep up two stories. We'll see.
Anyway thank you all for sticking with me and reviewing XD it has been such a great pleasure to read the awesome things you're all saying. I know I promised slash and it is rated M which means I shall get to the good sexy bits yet but right now I'm just enjoying the fluff so I hope no one is terribly upset with me just this moment XD I always rate these things M because half the time I don't know if it'll be too much for the site's rating systems XP
On with the chapter, they said! I hear you :)
It was an awkward moment for Loki but Thor was fine with it, stuck in a small space with his brother's hands all over the place trying to help him with the jeans. They were tight, they were ridiculously so and both Asgardians seemed to agitated by it. Then again the tight denim was far from Loki's mind as he stared up into focused blue eyes of a man he'd come to rely on, depend on, and all out need. He hadn't wanted to admit it before but just the small little thing of asking Tony to go get Thor was enough to snap the realization into Loki's mind and force him to accept it; he loved Thor.
This fact scared him more than anything. He felt himself again feeling things for his brother but this time they were different, something was distinctly different, stronger, and it frightened him. Big green eyes stared wildly as Thor did his best to aid Loki in dressing himself, he struggled with the thoughts but soon let them go and allowed the weight of them to sink into place.
'I don't love Thor, I'm in love with Thor.' He thought madly, distracted and not anticipating the sudden jerking motion when Thor finally managed to yank the jeans onto Loki's hips and button them appropriately. Loki stumbled forward and fell against Thor's chest, his eyes still wide and frantic as his ear caught the sound of the thunder god's heart and suddenly he felt calmed. The steady thud made it all seem so ridiculous to freak out over, reminded him exactly what it was that cared for him. The sound he was hearing was Thor's heart, the very muscle that gave Loki the miracle of freedom, that forgave him against all things telling it not to. Thor's heart was the reason Loki was safe, the reason he was alive and not a blubbering mess from the Chitauri leader, the Other. Loki owed everything he currently had to this beautiful thunderous beat and even though Thor leaned him back again to straighten him out, Loki cherished the sound.
"There, they are on." Thor beamed happily, "Sorry for being so rough, they seem to be a little tight on you."
Loki smiled, the sweetest one that Thor had ever seen and honestly hadn't been prepared for, his breath caught in his throat as Loki spoke. "Thank you, Thor."
"You... you are very welcome, Loki." Thor smiled in return and shuffled to try and get out of the stall, "It is cramped in here, I can hardly see them."
Loki chuckled calmly and opened the door again, letting them both out, "How is this for Midgardian clothing?" He looked directly at Tony because no one else present was aware, well, no one aside from the clerk anyway.
Tony looked him over and nodded, "Not bad, you like jeans or would you like some slacks and stuff too?"
"Oh, he's allowed slacks." Steve sneered playfully, getting a quick smack from Tony.
"Shut up, he's not doing it to be old school." Tony quipped and earned a laugh from the captain, a laugh that sent a little shiver down his spine, the very same shiver that Tony would never mention again. Ever.
Loki glanced between them for a moment and made an annoyed face though he was still in a pretty good mood so it wasn't very noticeable, "Pants. I want pants. If I cannot wear undergarments with them then I would prefer nothing made of what I am wearing now." He stated as he crossed his arms and the clerk could only snort back a laugh, Steve's face scrunched up and he looked away, and Tony just nodded and let the comment roll off.
"Right, yeah that would be pretty uncomfortable. We'll get you underwear too so that isn't an issue." He glanced quickly between Thor and Loki and raised an eyebrow, "Did he help you in there without underwear on?"
"Do not be ridiculous," Loki huffed, "He was fully clothed."
"No not..." Tony rubbed his face, "Not him, you."
"Well did I not just say that?" The mischief god frowned and looked to Thor who shrugged. Neither of them wanted to address it really though they knew it was kinda odd. Loki didn't know what Thor was thinking though he really honestly wished he did, what could his brother be thinking of all of this? The dumb look on his face said enough, that Thor was doing it because Loki needed him, like he hardly even noticed the fact that Loki's lower half was naked.
"You two are brothers..." Steve muttered, glancing over at Thor who looked offended he'd even say that.
"Loki needs my help, what does it matter what he is or isn't wearing? I bathed him, remember?" Thor made a good point and Loki smiled at him for it.
"Well yeah but... I mean that's different." Steve scratched the back o his head awkwardly, "You were in an enclosed space and... It isn't odd for you?"
"Not at all. Loki asked for my assistance which was hard enough for him, I could not allow any room for discomfort for he would never ask me to help ever again." Thor nodded firmly which seemed to be enough of an answer for the Midgardians. Loki sighed a little and looked back at the change room, knowing that the mention of anything awkward about Thor putting pants on him would be enough to make taking them off even worse. He tried not to think about it though he did walk into the stall on his own and closed the door behind him.
"Ah-! Loki!" Thor went over and pushed at the door a little, "Open it, you know you still need my help."
Loki could feel his pulse increase as he attempted to fumble with the button on his own. He knew Thor was right, he knew he should open the door, but he couldn't stop picturing his brother removing his clothing. Thor's blue eyes staring down at him, undressing him and he knew he would want more than that. Loki shook his head and smacked himself in the face once, "What is wrong with you?" He muttered to the empty room, apparently loud enough for Thor to hear it because his brother was still right outside the door.
"I just wish to help, Loki. I promise you it is nothing like what their perverted thoughts entail, I just wish to help." Thor repeated himself to try and emphasize he wouldn't do anything dirty-minded, that he wouldn't dream of it and Loki felt a little hurt at that thought.
But it was a stupid thought. Why would he be hurt by it? They were brothers for Odin's sake... Well... not brothers by blood, but did that matter? 'Oh I don't know, does it? Not like you haven't been starting to think these awkward things.' He scolded himself and opened the door anyway, he didn't want to be stuck in these jeans forever.
"Thank you." Thor smiled and stepped in, pressing Loki to the back of the space again, the smaller god finding himself holding his breath as his brother's chest touched his own. "Now," Thor easily worked the button, Loki tried his hardest not to concentrate on those strong hands so close to him, brushing up against his belly every once in a while. Thor absently rested his hand against Loki's hip as he carefully unzipped the denim, causing a slight hitch in the mischief god's breathing. "Oh, I am sorry brother." Thor lifted his hand away, figuring he'd pressed against a bruise or something. "I did not mean to hurt you."
"It... I am fine, Thor." Loki said softly, still wrestling with the ridiculous thoughts that felt like they came out of absolutely nowhere. Though not really 'nowhere' because really they'd been there, he'd just misunderstood them.
Thor grunted angrily as he yanked the jeans down and Loki realized quickly that he was not prepared for it, his knees buckling almost immediately from the sudden force. He was so surprised that he'd even cried out, his hands grasping Thor as tightly as his weakened grip would allow. "Again, I am sorry." Thor sounded a bit surprised that what he'd done had nearly taken Loki off his feet.
Loki's hands fumbled over his brother's torso for a moment as he attempted to put himself mostly upright once more, "You..." He muttered agitatedly though the goofy look on Thor's face made him chuckle, "You are an idiot."
Thor smiled, hearing Loki laugh, even so small a sound was still music to his ears. He looked back down and helped Loki with his pants again, though at least these were the slacks that Steve had lent them, the ones with the broken button. He ignored the bruises on Loki's thighs, the cuts and scars lining his hips and abdomen, grateful that the shirt Loki wore covered the wounds as they led up his torso. "I cannot believe this was done to you in Asgard." He muttered sadly.
Loki was silent at that, what could he say? It wasn't as if he wanted to admit he probably deserved it, he'd been an ass, he'd been a horrible little thing trying to rule this realm. They'd taken him down and put him in his place, like the monster he was. He deserved it. He knew that, though still he didn't want to admit it out loud. And yet, even though he didn't want to and told himself he wouldn't, his tongue betrayed him. "I had it coming."
"Not this." Thor shook his head. "Father should have been merciful with you. All the things that have happened with you are his fault." He grit his teeth and for the first time Loki felt like Thor was on his side.
"What?"
"Father, he should have seen what you needed. I should have... Loki I am so very sorry," Thor looked up sadly and Loki felt his heart skipping in a rapid pace that was unnatural for him, completely off its regular beat. "Can you ever forgive me?"
Loki remained stiff against the opposite wall though he couldn't stop the trembling in his jaw, the hitching of his breath and mostly he couldn't get a handle on the way his eyes screamed yes. "You are playing games..." He said instead, wary of his brother. Thor was in a position to truly hurt him and that scared Loki more than any physical thing. Of course, Thor didn't realize he was capable of such harm to his brother, which only made it that much more frightening.
"No, Loki." Thor insisted and leaned forward until there was nowhere left Loki could back away to. "Please, forgive me."
Loki's gaze jumped between focusing on Thor's left eye to his right and he hesitated, mouth opening slightly then closing again as he reconsidered his words. "I..." He spoke softly, he could almost feel his heart in his throat and that alarmed him even further. "I trust you, Thor." He swallowed thickly and relaxed a little; letting the weight of his brother press against him, hold him closer. "I forgive you."
Thor could see in Loki's eyes the fear that lingered there, terror of betrayal and mental agony that would follow. He felt a sudden wave of pride, knowing that Loki was scared but still trusted him with his life, with his safety and well-being. It was touching and Thor gave a silent oath that he would never let Loki down again, fully believing he could keep it. "Thank you, Loki. It means the world to me, I hope you know this."
There was a knock on the door and Tony's voice rattled them a little, "Hey guys we'd like to go to other stores and whatever, you know, today. So get a move on Asgardians, let's go."
"Tony, that was rude." Steve's voice was a little more distant but still distinct.
Loki opened the door again and gave Tony a flat expression, "We were just on our way out, thank you."
"No problem." Tony returned the gaze with his own 'I'm better than you' head tilt.
Loki shook his head and glanced at Thor who chuckled softly. With the earlier realization of his feelings added to everything else, Loki felt a little overwhelmed. He was in love with his brother, wanted him for himself, wanted Thor to hold him and never let go. And as well he was roaming this strange thing, a mall, with all of these people and he didn't know any of their intentions. He didn't know if they were out to harm anyone, if they'd take advantage of him or anything! It was infuriating and frustrating and he just wanted to go home and lie down. Exhaustion had struck him pretty hard after they finished in that particular store. They'd only really gotten a few pairs of different types of pants but he just couldn't bring himself to keep going. His legs hurt, not only had his muscles diminished and weakened but they'd been injured as well. His feet hurt and he wished he had shoes to put on, his torso ached and throbbed dully, and his arms felt like they were suddenly made of lead. He knew he wasn't healed, not even a little bit. He'd gotten out of Asgardian prison less than a week ago, his body had barely gotten over the shock of not being harmed anymore.
Out of all the things ailing him, there was one thing in particular that caught the others' attention. When he suddenly felt dizzy and lost his balance, stumbling and falling limply against Tony, and knocked them both to the ground, giving the two blondes a good shock. "Loki!" Thor knelt down immediately and lifted his feverish brother into his arms, "We have pushed you too hard." He said quietly, looking at the cold sweat beading on Loki's forehead.
The mischief god whined softly and rested his spinning head against Thor's body, hoping it'd ground him in some way. "I feel ill..." He muttered, hating that he fell victim to these dizzy spells lately, that his body would be so weak as to let him fall.
"Tony, you okay?" Steve asked gently as he lifted the genius up.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just got flattened by a god, that's all." Tony griped though no one was particularly worried. Loki weighed a sad fraction of what he used to and quite frankly it worried Thor to no end.
"Brother, are you alright?" Thor adjusted his hold on Loki and checked his temperature, finding it was frighteningly high for a frost giant. "You are burning up." He went and shooed a few people off of a bench before gently laying his brother across it. "We have the items he would need to try on, yes? Could you go and acquire some shirts, I will wait here with him."
Steve nodded, "Yeah, sure thing." He'd seen Loki get like that a few times now, about twice when Thor had left them together and then of course when they moved to Stark Tower. The first times Steve had gone to check on Loki before bed, finding the god splayed out and suffering quietly. He'd tucked Loki in, gotten a cold damp cloth for his forehead and let him sweat it out. Steve wasn't too worried, he knew the dizzy spell would pass and Loki would be fine but it was nice to see Thor so concerned, so he left it alone and went to do as the thunder god requested. Tony wasn't that worried, he didn't care as much as he probably should but that was alright, it was expected of him to not really give a damn.
Thor held Loki's hand closely and mopped the sweat off his face with the cloth of his shirt. "You will be okay, Loki." He whispered.
"Thor..." Loki rolled his head over and smiled in a sort of delirious way, his mind clearly swimming in confusion and unhinged madness for a short time. "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course, Loki. What is it?" Thor smiled and shuffled forward to hear the strained words.
"I love you, brother." Loki's smile suddenly looked very shy and Thor felt his face heating up, the warmth spreading through his body and he found himself grinning like some kind of loon.
"I love you too." He squeezed Loki's hand reassuringly which only caused his brother to sigh happily and close his eyes to rest. Thor smiled widely; he couldn't remember the last time Loki had said that to him, had proclaimed any kind of sentiment for him. It was sweet and so damn cute. Thor wished Loki wasn't feeling so ill, he'd pick him up and squeeze him in a hug, swing him around and toss him in the air. But of course Loki wasn't well and that might even be the reason for his feelings having been displayed in such a raw way. Regardless, Thor believed his words to be true. Loki was a master of hiding things, of lying, but not when his mind was wracked ill and left floundering.
"I need you." Loki whispered softly, tears streaking his cheeks again, a look Thor was sick of seeing. "Please don't leave me, Thor."
"Never." Thor said solemnly and squeezed again, noticing that Loki's hand was fairly limp. "He is sleeping..." Thor smiled and couldn't help a light chuckle; Loki couldn't even ask him to stay while conscious. "Is your pride so great, brother?"