A/N: Many many thanks for the reviews, they were wonderful, as usual. Here is the next chapter Quinn is attempting to process her feelings, so things kind of move forward, but not. I anticipate things will really move forward in the next chapter. I actually have the last two chapters already done, the ideas for the end were weighing so heavily on my mind that I had to do them just to be able to focus on the story at this point. Honestly when I started this I expected this to be done by this coming Thursday, which obviously is not the case anymore. And, Dressa I did not take your review as complaining, I actually really appreciate hearing what readers really think, I think it really helps move the story forward, so thank you! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.
Rachel was always a cautious driver, never going a mile above the speed limit, and rarely taking her eyes off the road. Quinn took advantage of this as they headed to school for Quinn's first day back since Beth's birth; she turned to Rachel, she had been fighting the urge to stare at the girl since "The Great Thigh Molestation of 2010', as Santana called it. She was thankful Rachel did not make a big deal about what happened, because it wasn't a big deal, right? Right. She stared in wonderment at Rachel's lips, so perfectly full, so shiny and pink. She smiled as she noticed the freckle on Rachel's cheek, wondering how she had not noticed it before. Of course, she never really looked at Rachel before, always looking only long enough to hurl degrading insults at her. Quinn smiled and rolled her eyes as the sunlight reflected off of the gold star hanging from Rachel's neck, as it hung loosely above the bright pink and purple argyle sweater she wore.
"Quinn?" Rachel questioned as she parked the car in the student parking lot, noticing large hazel eyes staring at her. "Quinn!" She repeated after getting no response from the blonde, whose gaze was still focused on her necklace.
Quinn jerked her eyes up to meet Rachel's, her gaze slowly going to scar on Rachel's forehead, near her hairline. Thoughtlessly, Quinn brought her finger up to the scar, tracing it delicately. "Freshman year." She murmured quietly, so quiet Rachel almost did not catch what she said.
"What?" Rachel questioned, not quite sure what to make of Quinn's behavior. Rachel was certain she must be running a fever or Beth's late night antics must really be getting to her, because there was no way Quinn Fabray, in her right mind, would be gently running her finger across Rachel's forehead.
"Freshman year, I stuck my foot out and tripped you during gym class, causing you to fall and hit your head." Quinn removed her finger from Rachel's forehead before glancing down at her lap, ashamed of her past behavior.
"Yes, Quinn. I remember the incident quite well, blood pouring from your head and Ms. Pillsbury having a panic attack, muttering over and over again about the different diseases which can be passed on from blood is not something one usually forgets. Though, what I remember the most was the look of regret in your eyes when I looked up at you, I was surprised to see it."
Quinn sighed. "I did regret it Rachel, sure at the time I wanted to humiliate you, but I never wanted to hurt you."
"That's the thing Quinn, the humiliation did hurt, almost more than the physical pain. The humiliation of every slushie, pornographic drawing, and malicious nicknames hurt far more than the cut to the head. But I don't need to tell you that, Quinn, as an outsider I'm sure you are aware of that now."
Quinn felt physically ill as she stared into Rachel's eyes, recognizing the hurt in them, hating herself for causing that hurt. "Rachel, I am and I am so sorry I ever did those things to you. I wish I could take every nickname and slushie back."
Rachel wiped a lone tear that had escaped from Quinn's eyes off of her cheek. "I know, I forgive you. We have discussed this before, you have changed Quinn, when I look at you I do not even see the head cheerleader you used to be. I told you, I like the new Quinn."
"Thank you." Quinn whispered.
Rachel noticed Quinn still looked upset and guilty as she stared out the window of Rachel's car. "So, you take back the slushies and the names, but not the pornographic drawings? Liked those too much huh, Quinn?" Rachel smirked, it wasn't very often she made an intentional joke, and she was pretty pleased with herself.
The smirk dropped from Rachel's face when Quinn's demeanor changed from guilty to flustered. "I..we are going to to be late for class. I'll see you later Rachel." Quinn quickly grabbed her backpack and vacated Rachel's vehicle as quickly as she could. Rachel sat and watched Quinn race into the school, confused by Quinn's behavior. Perhaps Rachel shouldn't have told the joke, maybe the honest conversation they just had was a far too emotional time for a joke. Rachel inwardly kicked herself, this is why she never made jokes.
Kurt stood at his locker, meticulously insuring every hair was in place before he headed off to first period; he let out a high pitched squeal when he felt a hand tightly wrap around his wrist, and he found himself being dragged down the hallway. "What is wrong with you?" He asked, pulling his hand away from Quinn's tight grasp once they made it into the bathroom.
"This is all your fault! You put these thoughts into my mind and now they wont go away!" Quinn huffed as she frantically paced around the bathroom, gesturing wildly with her hands.
"Okay. Quinn. First off, I have no idea what you are talking about. Secondly, you are having a tantrum, a Rachel Berry tantrum." Confusion settled on Kurt's brow. "Can you please settle down and explain yourself, you are stressing me out which is not good for my sensitive skin."
Quinn took a deep breath. "Ever since you mistakenly thought Rachel and I had something going on I can't get it out of my mind, you messed with my mind! I find myself staring at her lips and did you know she has the cutest freckles on the sides of her face?" Quinn growled in frustration. "Why do I care about her lips or her freckles? What the hell did you do to me, Hummel?"
"Quinn, Quinn, Quinn. You cannot blame me for your newfound crush on one Rachel Berry."
Quinn growled again. "I do not have a crush on Rachel Berry!"
"No, no of course you don't, Quinn, silly me. You just think about her lips and freckles, I'm sure you stare at her endlessly and have erotic fantasies about her but-"
"Kurt!" Quinn shrieked. "This is ridiculous! I do NOT have a crush on Rachel Berry. Nor have I ever had an erotic fantasy about anything!"
"Settle down, Virgin Mary." Kurt sighed, noticing Quinn was really getting worked up. "You've been through a lot, getting pregnant, having your family abandon you, bouncing around from house to house and then you lost Puck."
"Thank you Kurt, for the joyful reminder of all the horrid events that have happened in my life this past year." Quinn snapped.
"I was not done. Maybe you are, against your own will, feeling something for Rachel, maybe you aren't I don't know. I think you may just be overwhelmed and a little bit confused. Your feelings for Rachel have changed, over the last month they have gone from annoyance and disgust to what I assume would be gratitude and maybe something more. I mean the girl took you into her home and is basically a co-parent to your three week old daughter, Quinn. I think you just need to give it some time and not stress out about it, stressing about this would be hell on your skin." Kurt offered her a smile and surprised Quinn by pulling her into a hug.
"Thank you." She whispered into his ear. "You really give Dr. Phil a run for his money."
Rachel sulked through the hallways, Quinn had managed to avoid her all day. Rachel would see her rapidly turn corners and even caught her hiding behind a trashcan at one point. Quinn used breastfeeding and checking on Beth, who was at home with Paul, to get out of the classes the two shared. Come lunchtime, Rachel had enough. "Santana?" She asked taking a seat next to Santana and Brittany at their lunch table.
"Man-Berry" Santana corrected herself, recalling how Quinn had asked her not to call Rachel Manhands, although she had not said anything about the other nicknames, Santana reminded herself. "Why are you sitting with us? What have we done to deserve such punishment?"
"I'm concerned about Quinn. I fear a joke I made this morning has upset her, though I am really not sure why, the joke was harmless and quite amusing if I dare say so myself. Would you care to hear it?"
"You are only funny when you aren't trying." Brittany said, picking around at her salad.
Santana smiled at Brittany, she loved the girls unintentional bluntness. "That would be a no, Treasure Trail. Why would I care about a stupid joke you told Quinn? Seriously the sweater you are wearing is about to make me vomit."
"I am concerned she has not been acting like herself as of late. She's been quiet and today she has avoided me, she hasn't even looked at me since we arrived this morning. You two have known her a lot longer than anyone else in Glee, I thought perhaps you could provide some insight." Rachel looked hopefully at Santana, who for the first time since Rachel sat down did not have a scowl on her face.
"Listen, Rachel and please do your best to not interrupt, I know you have a serious problem with that." Santana said casting her glance over to Brittany who nodded. "Q has been through a lot, as you know. The thing about Q is she does not like it be acknowledged when she is upset or not acting like herself, she likes to look like the strong, independent woman. So whatever you do, do not acknowledge it, got it Berry?" Rachel just nodded as Santana's tone of voice became more intimidating with every word she spoke.
Rachel was relieved to see Quinn waiting at her car after school. "Hey Quinn. Have a nice day?" She flashed Quinn one of her dazzling smiles as she unlocked the car doors.
"Listen, Rachel I'm sorry about how strange I've been acting lately." Quinn said, sitting down in the car, nervously glancing over at Rachel.
"Oh. Well you know Quinn, I hadn't really noticed." Rachel lied, she was careful to remember what Santana said during lunch.
Quinn bit the side of her lip, feeling more confused than ever. Here she was staring at Rachel Berry every chance she got and admiring her beauty and the girl did not even notice Quinn had ignored her the entire day. Quinn felt foolish, clearly what Kurt said in the bathroom was right, her feelings for Rachel Berry were purely gratitude, nothing more. She chose to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat when Rachel glanced over at her before pulling out of the parking lot, those perfectly full lips forming that perfect smile. She convinced herself that what felt like butterflies in her stomach must have been something she had eaten, she refused to acknowledge that Rachel Berry had been the cause, because Rachel Berry did not care about her enough to notice she had been ignoring her all day, unsuccessfully trying to figure out her feelings or lack there of. So throughout the day while Quinn was desperately longing to speak to the brunette, missing her smile and her laugh, Rachel Berry was going about her day, oblivious.