Sorry for how short this one is!
Chapter Eleven
An hour later, Lorana stepped up on deck, bringing nothing with her. She walked straight to the railing and looked out on the gently rolling waves of the ocean. Soon, the constant, repetitive sound of the waves lulled her into a contemplative mood. This mood allowed her to ask questions that she had been avoiding for three days.
What would she do when they got back to New York? Could she go back to her life as Jack's editor and a composer? If she could not, what would she do with herself? The answer to that question came readily to her: there was no other decent way she could gain a living. She was fairly sure that there was nothing else she wanted to do with her life anyway. With that thought, she was decided. She would go on as she had before, as she knew Jack would.
Then came the next question. Could she, in good conscience, put these events behind her? Could she forgive the people who had trapped Kong? Could she look the other way as he was paraded around New York? She knew that with time she could learn to forgive everyone, well...almost everyone. Jack merely wanted to leave the island, to get away safe and unharmed. Ann had the same excuse.
Carl was a different case. He was far harder to forgive and justify than the other two had been. He wanted to make money, and by this scheme to do so he had destroyed a natural wonder: a giant animal so used to being free. She knew she would probably never forgive him for that.
However, the there was one other person to forgive: Englehorn. The same excuse applied to him as applied to Jack and Ann, but Lorana knew it was different. Just as her relationship with him was different, her reasoning was different with him. She didn't know if she could be in a relationship of any kind with someone who had attempted to trap a wild king of the jungle like Kong. Would he do the same to her? Then, there was another problem. She did not even know what to call this relationship. For all she knew, it was a whim of the Captain. Despite that suspicion, Lorana had a feeling that what she felt, what they both felt, was nowhere near that. It had been real and tangible. Englehorn would likely not throw that away easily, but nothing about this situation was easy.
Finally, all of her thoughts and pondering boiled down to one, seemingly simple question: could she forgive Englehorn? Her answer to that question could only come with time, time and contact with him. However, she would not take the first steps to re-establish even just friendship with him. He would have to prove himself by making the first step alone.
At the same time, one man stood leaning on the railing just outside the wheel house. He had noticed her the minute she had come up on deck. After all, he had never stopped thinking of her from the moment they were back on board.
Now after three days of endless waiting and wanting, she was out and about. And yet now that he finally had a chance to see her again, to talk to her, he could find no words to say to her. After all, what could he say after he had done so much? This could not be forgotten with a simple apology. Her faith in him might be forever destroyed. All he could do was go to her and see.