Part Two

Chapter 5.

By the time Lindir awoke, breakfast was over. Having nothing else to do he wondered out onto the rock, and found it to be extremely windy. He didn't like wind; it messed up his hair.
'Ah, Lindir!' said the all too familiar voice, and Legolas appeared. 'I have discovered what time,' he said.
'Oh?' asked Lindir, interested. He thought he was speaking of lunch. 'When?'
'Now.' Lindir brightened. 'There's no one about. All I have to do is get the parachute and disguise. I'll be back.' He disappeared.
Of course, Lindir knew what he was talking about now. He resumed breathing in time to prevent death by suffocation, and began looking around for a stick. He wished he had taken the time to find a kitchen knife.
Suddenly he was aware of another presence making its way out onto the rock. It was rather hard not to be aware of; it carried a very large, multi-coloured kite-like thing. It was, in fact, Gildor.
'Whatever are you doing, Gildor?' asked Lindir.
'I'm going para sailing,' said Gildor happily.
'But that's against the law, isn't it?' asked Lindir. (There had been several deaths from para sailing off Minas Tirith, too, but that is another story.)
'I have a licence from King Elessar,' said Gildor, getting it out and flapping it in Lindir's face.
Legolas appeared again.
'What?' he asked.
'Nothing,' said Lindir, trying to straighten his face. Apparently Legolas' plan of disguise had survived the frequent revisions of his strategy.
'What are you doing here?' asked Legolas of Gildor.
'He's para sailing,' explained Lindir.
'You. Out. Now,' said Legolas, helpfully pointing the way for Gildor.
'I'm para sailing!' protested Gildor. He tugged at his flying device. 'Lindir, will you help me get this thing over there?'
Lindir shrugged and began to pull at the para sail. Legolas growled and tapped his foot impatiently.
'Now how exactly does this work?' Gildor wondered, once the para sail was in place.
'You mean to tell me that King Elessar gave you a licence to para sail when you don't even know how?' Lindir yelled above the wind.
'I guess,' said Gildor. 'It's probably due to my friendly personality.'
'Why didn't I try that?' Legolas wondered.
'Woah, it's blowing aw- Catch it, Lindir!' yelled Gildor.
The para sail, caught by a large gust of wind, made a desperate attempt to escape the clutches of the two elves. And it partially succeeded; Gildor wisely let go, but Lindir did not. Before he knew what was happening, the earth dropped away from beneath him and he was miles up in the air.
I shall not say that he did scream, and I shall not say that he didn't. I shall leave that to the reader's imagination.
'Valar preserve us,' he said, hanging on for dear life. Or perhaps his life wasn't so dear; Lindir would say it wasn't, but he held on all the same.
If Lindir would have noticed, it was the perfect day for para sailing. The sky was blue, with only a few clouds scattered here and there. It was not too hot, and not too cold. The wind currents were strong. The view was beautiful. If Lindir would have been less stressed, he could have had a very happy flight.
But, truth to tell, Lindir was too busy hanging on to have time for thinking of anything else. I don't think he enjoyed it much, and I don't think he'll ever do it again.
The next night Lindir staggered into Minas Tirith- or rather, his horse, which he had borrowed from some Rohirrim or other, staggered. He stumbled off of it.
'Oh, hello Lindir,' said Gildor cheerily. 'Where did you put my para sail?'
'It's in a cow field somewhere in Rohan,' he said.
Gildor looked worried, and went off calling for a horse.
Lindir continued his stumbling until he found Elessar.
'Hello,' said the king. 'You went para sailing without a licence, you know that?' He shook his finger up and down in Lindir's face.
'Of course I know that,' Lindir snapped. Then he added nervously, 'What's the penalty?'
'Oh, three years in the cooler,' said the king airily.
Lindir opened and shut his mouth several times.
'But don't worry,' said Elessar, 'Lord Elrond has bailed you out.'
Lindir sighed in relief. So he had at least one friend. He decided not to ask for that raise after all.
Suddenly he remembered. The cause of all his troubles...
'Where is Legolas?' he asked apprehensively.
'Right now he's in the hospital.'
Lindir started. 'What for?'
'A broken femur, I think. And some other bone, I can't remember which right now. And some minor bumps, bruises, cuts, and black eyes, etc.'
Lindir noted the plurality of 'black eyes.' 'What happened to him?' he asked.
'He tried to base-jump off my city, that's what happened to him. He was attacked by my faithful guards, but still managed to leap off...'
'And he is not dead?' asked Lindir in astonishment. Not disappointment. Really.
'No,' said the king sheepishly. 'He didn't make it to the ground beneath. The jury decided that his base-jump didn't qualify for the death sentence. I'll admit it was rather disappointing. We've never had an execution before.'
This interesting conversation was interrupted by two soldiers walking up.
'Yo, Lindir,' said one of them. 'When did you say Glorfindel's birthday party would be?'
The king looked interested. 'You're planning Glorfindel's birthday party? Oh good! Now I won't have to do it, like Elrond asked me to!' He walked away, whistling happily and completely out of tune.
Lindir groaned.
'Why didn't I let go of the para sail?' he wondered.

Authoress' Note:

I think it's about time for Lindir to have a bright spot in his dull existence. He needs some sunlight in his tragic life. What do you all think?
Should he have something nice happen to him for once?
Please review and let me know! :D

P.S.: I have started my Sick!Aragorn fic. The first chapter should be up soon; get ready to see our favourite Ranger suffer! *muahahaha*