You know that feeling you get. Everyone feels it at some point in their lives. It creeps up on you. It catches you of guard. When it hits you, it hits you full force in the face. With a chair. At first you deny it. You convince yourself that the feeling is fleeting. That it will pass. That it is only momentary. But it isn't. It sticks to you like diaper rash to an unsuspecting baby's soft delicate silky posterior. It doesn't pass with time. It consumes you. It is all that you can think about. This feeling slowly welling up inside you. Consuming you. Making you sick. And you try to bargain with it. Try to convince yourself that the juice is worth the squeeze. And you lose. Quite magnificently. Without really having stood a chance in the first place. And when it is all over, when you finally admit that the feeling is real and won't go away. It kicks you while you are down. It drives the proverbial car over you and reverses over r limp bruised body again just to ensure that you will not be able to get back up. It steals everything from you and leaves you empty. The feeling of darkness and depression following in its wake. Lapping at its scraps, just because you don't feel shitty enough.

The feeling that you don't belong.

Alice was so excited when her father called saying she should come home for the weekend. He didn't even hesitate to buy me a first class ticket when she asked if I could come along.

"Go." Charlie had said. "It will be fun." Charlie had said. "You will have a blast." He had said. And it made her happy. I haven't seen her smile this much. Her beautiful dazzling smile that made the corner of her eyes crinkle. Her showing me how she lived. Sharing so much of her life with me.

It fucking scared me to death.

I knew that our lives, our worlds could not have been more different. It was as if we lived on two different worlds. In fact, we did live on two different worlds. How could I possibly think that we could be together? I was such a fucking idiot. Words could not describe how stupid I was for even thinking that Alice and I could ever really be together.

I did not belong in her world. Something Alice's ex-girlfriend didn't hesitate pointing out to me, no rubbing in my face more like it.

"There is a hot sexy blond at table ten trying desperately to get your attention." I finished pouring table four's coffee and looked over to table ten.

"Fuck!"

"Language" Esme scolded snapping me with a dry cloth.

"Sorry" I apologised automatically, not taking my eyes off of Alex. I rubbed the side of my thy, that towel hurt like a motherfucker. "What the fu…. Frack is she doing here?" Esme raised an eyebrow at me but thankfully didn't snap her towel at me again.

Jane bumped me playfully with her hip. "Ex bimbo of yours?"

I snorted, "Not mine, Alice's."

"Oh, well in that case she is not sexy at all. Dressed like that…." She looked at her tight fitting grey dress, barely containing her breast from popping all over the place. "Must be a hoe right?"

"No," I sighed. "She is sexy, no denying the truth. She has to be, if Alice dated her."

"Then what is Alice doing with you?" Jane teased moving quickly out of my reach.

"Fuck you." I whispered, mindful of Esme and her snapping cloth from hell. "I better go see what she wants."

I took table four their coffee order. Cleaned table seven's dirty dishes and then wandered over to her. "Shouldn't you be out of town already?"

"You would just like me to disappear, wouldn't you? What, you don't trust Alice while I'm in town?"

I placed my tray with dirty dishes on the table. "I trust Alice, you…. not so much. Now we know you didn't come here for the cake or the coffee. What do you want?"

She crossed her arms on the table, leaning towards me. She looked me up and down. "You know, I don't understand what Alice sees in you. You are…" She paused as if searching for something, "Average. Average looks, average intelligence, average family. What is it about you that she finds so appealing?"

I try to not show any emotion on my face. Trying very hard to not show her how much her words hurt me, it's not like I haven't wondered the exact same thing. "Clearly, something that you don't have. Now if you are done insulting me, please leave."

She smiled. "Oh I am going but I thought I should warn you. Alice's life is going up in flames."

I placed my hands on the table leaning in close to her. "Careful, I would not threaten Alice in front of me."

She cackled leaning even closer to me. "I was not threatening Alice. I recently came across some information. Information that could be very damaging to Alice."

I sneered at her, "Still sounds like you are threatening Alice."

She held up her hands in defence, "No, just giving you a choice. Alice and you have no future together. Her world, you couldn't even start to understand it. Your relationship is doomed to fail. And I just want to minimize the damage."

"You don't have a fucking clue what you are talking about."

"Really, well you will see her world soon enough for yourself. Her dad is going to invite her home for the weekend. She will most likely insist that you go with her." She pushed over a piece of paper towards me. "This is my number. After your weekend with her, you are going to break up with her. If I don't receive a call from you, before your plane touches down, Alice's world as she knows it, will go up in flames."

"I'm not scared of you. And I will not breakup with Alice because of an empty threat."

Alex slid out of the booth and leaned in real close to me, I could hear her breathing in my ear, smell her overpriced sweet perfume. "If you knew me at all, you will know that I do not make empty threats. If I cannot have her, nobody will have her." She smiled at me, all her perfect pearly whites on display. "Enjoy your upcoming weekend Bella."

"Hey," Alice took my hand, looking at me with concern. "Is everything okay?" She whispered softly, as to not disturb the other occupants on the plane. "You've been…" She paused searching for the right words. "Distant?" Have I? "Ever since the party last night?"

The party? We were not at a party. An entire club rented out. Catering that cost a small fortune. The number one ranked DJ in New York. Drugs floating around freely. Sweaty bodies grinding against each other on the cramped dance floor. Bouncers keeping the uninvited guests out. Champagne fountains. No beer pong. No teenagers making out in bathrooms and on couches. No acne covered boys trying to get you drunk enough so that they might get lucky. No definitely not the parties that I was used going to in anyway.

"I'm fine, Princess." I responded vaguely. I could see that she didn't believe me. I kissed the back of her hand reassuringly. "I'm just tired. We did only sleep about four hours."

I could see that she didn't believe me, but she didn't push the subject. "Well we are almost home, then you can pass out." It warmed me a little inside that she thought of Forks as her home now. My home as her home. But the feeling didn't last. I knew that she would never be able to stay here. Not with everything that she had waiting for her back in New York.

I nodded my head in response and leaned my head against the side of the plane, staring out of the window without really seeing anything. I could feel her looking at me. Feel the confusion radiating off of her. How do I explain though? Sorry but you are basically royalty and I'm a farmer's daughter. I got three dollars in my pocket and will most likely be a journalist that barely makes ends meet by free lancing for the local paper… want to stay with me? Yeah like that shit will fly.

Alex was right, I do not belong in Alice's world. Alice deserves more.

"Isabella?" She whispered in my ear making me jump in my sheet. She giggled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I made myself comfortable in my first class seat. Making sure not to knock over my complimentary champagne glass and the shrimp cocktail, that I haven't touched at all. "Yes?"

"This is not about…" She blushed, "You know…" She made small gestures with her hand trying to convey the words she was struggling to find. "About what happened between us…?" She blushed even more, her face almost the shade of a red rose.

I frowned trying to figure out her cryptic sentences. She gestured between us and I finally caught on to what she was trying to say. "You mean sex?"

"Shhh" She shushed me, looking around the plane to see if anyone was listening in on our conversation. "Would you please say it any louder? You know nothing attracts attention as much as th word."

I smiled involuntarily. "Oh you should try saying nipples or dildo out loud. Then you should see how everyone in a hundred mile radius turns their undivided attention to you."

"Would you be quiet?"

"No," I teased. "I kind of like seeing you squirming uncomfortably in your oh so comfortable leather seat."

Normally she would roll her eyes at my jab at the overpriced luxury but she promptly ignored me. She looked around us to ensure no one was listening to us. "Sex, yes that is what I meant? Did you not enjoy it?"

I looked at her. Sex? She was worried that I did not enjoy sex? With her? Is she insane? I spared a moment thinking about the "sex" she was referring to….

We were at the party and I couldn't shake the feeling of unease I experienced as I watched Alice in her normal habitat. Her laughing more spontaneously then I have ever seen her. Straight out of her belly, uncontrolled full out laughter. She was so at home and I just wanted to go crawl into bed with a book. Maybe the new Girl in the dragon tattoo book, Girl in the spiders web.

I pulled her to one side, or as much to one side as you can in the club. Told her I was really tired and was going to take a cab back to her apartment. She wanted to leave with me but I told her she should stay, using homesickness as a lame excuse to the cause of my unease. A long kiss and some reassurances later, I was in a cab that smelled of old cigarette smoke, back to her apartment. Playing with the piece of paper with Alex's phone number.

The only person at her apartment was the chef, making some fudge. Something Alice has grown quite fond of.

"These are great." I said stealing a sample as I scavenged some coffee.

The chef scoffed at me, "Top of my class, 5 years as an apprentice to one of the top chefs in Paris and I still can't replicate some small town chef in some backwater hick town."

"I don't think Esme would like to be called a small town chef," I sipped my coffee. "She'll say she is just a baker and doing her job."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

I smiled, imagining Esme in her kitchen at her coffee shop. I could smell the freshly ground coffee, hear the low hum of conversation around the room, hear the bell ring every five minutes as someone walked into the shop. "Esme's shop would make you feel better, it always makes me feel better. It's warm and filled with…" I paused trying to find the right word. "Comfort, you can feel the care radiating all the way from the kitchen. Esme is the heart and soul of that place. Maybe it's true, food does taste better when it is packed full of love."

"Like Alice." He commented glancing up at me, giving me a wink.

I sipped my coffee, "What do you mean."

He shrugged, "I have seen partners come and go, and there were plenty. People after her fame and money." He raised an eyebrow, "Not that that is news to you." I shook my head, I knew that she was not picky about who she shared her bed with. "But you, you are different. You bring out the best in her. I have never seen her as happy as I seen her with you. Never seen her so in love."

I rolled my eyes. "We both know that Alice does not fall in love." He raised his eyebrow.

"Everyone falls in love, some more than others." He smiled wondering of on a memory. He shook his head slightly, "Anyways, believe me when I tell you, that Alice, Alice is irrevocably in love with you. She might not know it yet, but she is."

He studied me, almost like he was trying to look into the very depths of my soul. I squirmed, "What?"

"Do you love Alice?"

"Yes." I responded quickly. "Even though I did hate her in the beginning. She's a spoiled brat and made my life a living hell. But somehow without realising it, I fell for her. Hard."

"Good."

"Good?"

He smiled picking up a knife. "You see, I basically raised Alice, yes, I could have done a better job, but she lost her mother, had an absent father, so I spoiled her a bit." I cocked my eyebrow at him. "Okay, I spoiled her a lot. And that is why, should anyone hurt her, I would make them pay." He twirled the knife expertly. I gulped nervously.

"Message received, loud and clear."

He smiled. "Good, glad we understand each other. Now is there anything else you require before going to bed?"

"Nope" I said quickly still eyeing the knife. "I think I am all done here. Good night."

"Sleep well little one." He replied as I made my way out of the kitchen.

I changed into my night shirt and slipped into bed, lying awake for a while listening to the never ending noise of New York. People were right, the city never sleeps. Ever. I must have dosed of, but woke when my covers were lifted up and cold air caressed my skin rather aggressively.

"What the…" I was silenced when lips pressed against mine harshly. My mind went blank as Alice's sweet taste registered in my brain. She slipped into bed with me and as I cradled her body to mine, her mouth still devouring me hungrily, I realised that she wasn't wearing a shred of clothing.

I pulled my mouth away from hers with great difficulty. "Alice wait…" I groaned as her lips travelled down my neck.

"Do you have any idea how much I missed you?" She whispered against my ear, before biting my ear lobe. My eyes rolled back in my head, my body arching into hers.

"I was completely miserable without you at the party." Her hand slipped up my side, traveling to my breast.

"Alice I…." All words disappeared, my brain in a haze as it felt like every nerve in my body was on fire.

She kneaded my breast, rolling my sensitive nipple between her skilled fingers. "All I could think about," She said seductively as she slipped my t-shirt over my head, "Was how badly I wanted to be with you." Her hungry warm mouth enveloped one of my nipples, my back arched bringing our bodies flush against each other. Her actions paused and she looked at me, in the moonlight streaming through the window I could make out her eyes diluting further and she swallow nervously. "Isabella, you didn't wear any underwear to bed?"

I rolled on top of her, kissing my way from her neck to her breast. Her body trembling slightly. "Says the one who climbed into my bed stark naked." Her back arched as I bit on her nipple and smoothed it over with my tongue. Her soft moans sending a shockwave down to my core that was already soaked with my arousal. I kissed down her stomach with a new found urgency, I needed to taste her. Her hand got lost in my hair as it settled between her legs which was spread wide just for me. I licked the length of her, her taste bursting on my tongue, and it wasn't enough, never enough. I circled her clit with my tongue, the moans and small noises coming from her spurring me on. I pushed my tongue into her, and glanced up over the smooth curve of her stomach. Her head was thrown back, her mouth open, her hands gripping the bedding around us tightly.

I could feel her legs shaking and new she was close. I pulled away from her and kissed my way back up her body.

I slipped two fingers inside of her, just as I was eye level with her again. "I love you." I whispered before claiming her mouth with mine.

She moaned as I pumped in and out of her, pulled away, twisting her body slightly. She moved to the rhythm I was creating with my fingers. I could see she was struggling as her breath came in unsteady gasps. "Bella, I want you to come with me." She groaned into the curve of my neck. Her hand travelled down my body and I opened my legs just as her hand reached my soaking wet pussy. She bit down on my shoulder as she pushed inside me. I moaned as I felt her moving inside me, pumping in and out sending me closer and closer to my climax.

Our breaths mingled, she pressed hard against my clit with her thumb and I pumped my fingers harder into her knowing I was not going to last much longer. "Isabella…" She moaned, her stomach muscles quivering against me, I could feel my own climax teetering on the edge. "Alice…. Fucking come for me." She threw her head back and called out my name as we both tumbled over the edge. And as we slowly pumped in and out of each other, riding out our high I remember thinking that her calling out my name was my new favourite sound.

Just before I drifted off into a blissful sleep only brought on by an earthshattering orgasm, I felt the ghost of lips on my forehead, "I love you too." Alice whispered softly. I smiled and tightened my grip on her, snuggling comfortably into her side and drifted off to sleep.

I snapped out of my memory when Alice poked me in the ribs. "Earth to space cadet Swan."

I gave her a lopsided smile. "Sorry." I took her hand, interlacing our fingers. "Last night was one of the best moments of my life, okay. And not because the sex was amazing." I bumped her shoulder playfully, causing her to blush. "It was because I got to experience that with you."

She looked at me, her eyes still full of doubt. "Then what is wrong? I can see something is bothering you."

"I'm just tired is all, someone kept my up pretty late last night." I said playfully.

"You didn't seem to complain last night." She said with a wink. She laid her head on my shoulder.

"Pfft, and I never will. Feel free to climb naked into my bed anytime." I thought for a few seconds, "Well as long as you don't have the flu, that shit was nasty."

She shoved me playfully. "Shut up."

I kissed the top of her head. "Get some rest, okay." She snuggled closer into my side.

"Princess we are going to be late!" I shouted up the stairs. I scarfed down my coffee. "Princess I mean it, we can't afford another tardy mark. I will not sit in detention because of you, no matter how much I adore you." When she still didn't emerge from her room ten minutes later I decided to investigate what was going on. I opened her door and froze in shock. "Alice! What the hell, we are going to be late for school." I just heard a groan originating from her bed somewhere. I walked over and switched on her bedside lamp. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head.

"The light, it hurts." I frowned, Alice was not a morning person by a long shot but she always got up out of bed in time to put on the perfect out fit for school and do her make-up and hair and what not. "What is wrong Princess?" I just heard a mumble from inside the covers. "Sorry, but I don't speak duvet."

She pulled back the covers. "I'm dying." Her voice sounded hoarse and her nose was so bright she could give Rudolph a run for his money.

I laughed, "You're not dying, your sick Princess. Which means that you probably wish you were dying."

"Well, make it stop."

I scoffed. "It doesn't work that way, no magic wands here."

She groaned, "You're as much use as a fart in a jam jar. Leave me here to die then."

I ran my fingers through her sweaty hear. "Serves you right for forcing me to kiss you in the rain."

"Why are you not sick then?"

I smiled and stood up heading to her closet. "Because Princess, I grew up here, I get wet in the rain all the time." She sneezed. I looked up to see something bad oozing out of her nose. "Oh that is disgusting." I threw a track suit on the bed. "Here put that on and I'll take you to the doctor."

"But what about this?" She indicated to the situation around her nose.

"You're on your own with that. Whatever that is. That shit is nasty."

"I hate you."

"I'll pick up some chicken soup for you after school."

"I still hate you."

"And some ice-cream"

"Still hate you."

"And some fudge from Esme."

"Deal."

I scoffed. "When did this become a negotiation exactly?"

"Your fault that I am sick, is only right that you take care of me."

"Of course it is."

Alice was fast asleep, even drooling a little bit. Clearly she was much more comfortable on a plane than I was. I took out my laptop and waited for it to boot up. I wished that I belonged here with all this first class people. I wished that I could provide her with whatever she wanted. My laptop barely booted up properly when I got a Skype message from Angela.

Hi, finally. I need your help.

Hey, what's wrong?

I kissed Eric.

Wait, what? What about Ben? Does Ben know? What happened?

Calm down. No, Ben does not know. Ben and I had this huge fight, and Eric was just there. It just kind of happened.

Is that a bad thing? Or a good thing?

It's a confusing thing?

Because you enjoyed it more that you thought?

No!

Yes.

I don't know, I'm confused.

What did you and Ben fight about?

He screamed at my brothers. For touching his new car.

Overreacting a bit?

That is what I said. And then he told me to shut up and not always let my brothers get away with everything. So I told him they are just kids, so he told me they will remain kids as long as I coddle them.

So I asked him if that is why he is such a kid, because his parents coddled him. So he asked me why I was wasting my time dating a kid. So I said I don't know and maybe he should leave. He left and I went to Eric. One moment I was crying on his shoulder and the next we were kissing.

What did Eric say after the kiss?

I don't know, I kind of just left.

You ran away?

Left, there is a difference.

If you say so. Did you "leave" because the kiss meant something to you?

No, I'm with Ben.

That is not a denial. I think that the kiss with Eric meant something to you and it scared you, and now you are running away.

You are one to talk.

What does that mean?

You are emotionally distant with Alice. Constantly building walls as around your heart.

I slept with Alice last night, and told her I loved her. I have no walls left.

What?

Jip.

That's awesome. Did she say it back?

Yes, and now all hell is going to break loose. Alex has something on her, and if I don't breakup with her, she will ruin Alice's life.

Holy shit balls, you are not breaking up with Alice. I'll rally the troops on this side and we will tackle whatever Alex throws at us head on.

We?

Yeah, we. Alice is part of our family now. And we protect our family.

Yes we do. Thank you Angela.

Angela has now signed off.

I sighed and looked at Alice. "Wake up Princess."

Alice snuggled closer to me. "Just a few more minutes. School is not important."

I chuckled. "I agree but I need to talk to you."

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and then chugged the entire contents of my Champaign glass. "What is wrong, I was having a really great dream."

"What kind of dream. A sexy one?" I asked kissing her forehead.

"No, but you were there and it was just good. I had such feeling of content." I smiled. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

I smiled getting lost in the blue lakes of her eyes. "Not nearly enough."

"Well I do."

It felt like I was floating, and I knew that I was in deep, deep trouble. "I love you too, princess. And I just want you to know, that no matter what happens, we can get through anything. Together."

"Is everything alright Isabella?"

I kissed her hand "Yes, everything is fine. Sorry I was a bit distant, I had a lot of things on my mind."

"And you don't anymore?"

"Only of you my love."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Camera's blinded us. Journalists shoving microphones in our faces. "Alice, any comments on the allegations against your father?"

"Alice, are you hiding out here because you think your father is guilty?"

"Alice, is it true that your father killed your mother and abused you for years?"

I was blinded by all the cameras. Deafened by the loud mass of people screaming and shouting at us. Suffocating by all the bodies basically enveloping us. A small hand slipped into my hand, intertwining our fingers. "Alright break it up. Break it up." The sea off people suddenly parted and Charlie and Emmett's faces suddenly appeared. "Come on, this way. Follow me quickly." Charlie grabbed my hand, and using Emmett's big form as a shield we pushed our way through, hurrying to his police cruiser. As we pulled away I saw a single figure standing in the shadows of the parking lot. Alex gave me a small wave. I knew, I knew that Alex was revelling in the chaos that she created.