FLASHBACK
Quinn was standing against her locker, waiting for Santana to join her. Graduation would be coming soon, and the two had agreed to meet up after class for one of their last shopping trips as middle schoolers.
She smiled as she saw her Latina friend come up to her.
"Hey Q, ready to go?" Santana smiled brightly, and leaned against the locker in front of Quinn.
The blonde smiled back just as happily. "Totally, let's go!"
They nearly skipped out of the hallways and to the parking lot. Quinn's mom had agreed to come and drive them to the mall, and she was already waiting in her grey BMW.
"Hey mom", "Hey Mrs. F", the girls greeted Judy as they got into the car.
Judy Fabray smiled at them from the front seat.
"Hey girls, how was school today? Enjoying your last week?"
Santana and Quinn looked at each other and smiled. "Definitely, Mrs. F, although I can't wait to start high school after summer. Q and I are gonna rule that school!"
Quinn laughed and linked her hand with Santana. "Definitely! We'll be the most popular cheerleaders ever."
Judy chuckled at the girls and drove on. When they got to the mall, the teens quickly got out of the car, said goodbye to Quinn's mom and went off.
"So, what're we looking for, Q? Hot clothes for the party, or what?"
"Ugh, San, I don't get your need to always look 'hot'. My parents would get a heart attack if they saw me wearing what you do to parties!"
Santana smirked. "I would too, Q, but the good kind of heart attack." She winked as Quinn blushed, and they walked to the first store.
The Latina always did these types of things. They always bantered about either how hot Santana was, or how hot Quinn could be when she wore other things, and the way Santana looked at her in those moments made the blonde feel… things. Things she'd been feeling for a while now.
But those things weren't okay to feel.
She didn't look at Santana because she was attracted to her in a weird way. She looked at her because she was a friend.
And she didn't melt every time Santana did something sweet for her, like give her a rose on Valentine's Day or even just when she was excited because they were getting ice cream. The fluttery feeling just meant that she was extremely hungry, even if she'd just had a huge lunch.
And it wasn't like she couldn't help but feel like getting lost in the Latina's deep brown eyes and her gentle touches every time they were close. She was just…
… crushing on her best friend…
But again, something like that was not okay. God would hate her if she were gay, not to forget her parents and everyone she knew would hate her as well.
I don't even know if Santana likes me back…
That was a lie.
She did know.
She knew for certain that same day, after they went home from the mall.
Santana had invited Quinn over to her place, since her parents would be gone – again.
The blonde always felt the need to comfort her friend because of her parent's absence, but Santana usually just shrugged her off with a smile.
"It's cool, Q, I've been telling you for ages. It's not like they're never home, they do this to afford everything we have, and whenever they do come home, they always make sure to spend time with me! It's like they only do the fun things parents are supposed to do, they let me do whatever I want when they're out, it's a win-win situation!"
Quinn rolled her eyes every time the Latina said that, but she dropped it anyway, seeing as Santana really did mean that she wasn't unhappy. If she was, Quinn would have noticed easily; she could read the other girl like a book.
They hung out on the couch in the living room, watching some episodes from Friends, sitting close together.
At some point, Santana's head fell onto Quinn's shoulder, and the blonde just smiled happily and put her arms around the smaller girl's waist.
Even though Santana pretended to be some badass chick, in preparation for her high school reputation, Quinn knew the girl loved nothing more than to cuddle, and she'd do so every time they would be together.
This time was a bit different, though. From her position on Quinn's shoulder, Santana took the girl's hand in her own and started playing with her fingers.
"Q…", she mumbled, in an almost pleading tone that immediately peaked Quinn's interest.
"Yes, San?" she said, a bit of humour in her voice at the Latina's odd tone.
Santana spoke softly from her place on the blonde's shoulder.
"I… I have something to tell you, but I don't… It's kind of…"
Quinn frowned, concerned with her friend, and tilted the Latina's head up so she could look her in the eyes.
"Santana, just tell me. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me anything, right?"
Santana just nodded, and looked into Quinn's hazel eyes.
"Q, I… I think… I like you…", she saw Quinn smile and open her mouth to say something, so she quickly went on. She really felt like she could only say this once, and now was the time. "I don't mean like a friend, Q, or even a best friend. I really like you, like you."
Quinn's smile quickly faded and she looked at her friend in shock.
This can't be happening.
Santana saw the shock on her face, and quickly put some space in between them, looking to the floor in shame.
"I'm sorry, Quinn, I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, and I know you don't feel the same way about me, I just… I had to tell you, I just… couldn't feel like I was always lying to you! I really am sorry, Q!" She looked at her blonde with pleading eyes. "I promise I won't talk about this ever again, I know you must hate me now because you're all Christian and stuff, but please, don't let this ruin our friendship! I don't want to lose you!"
Quinn just there in shock, watching her friend ramble.
She wanted to just engulf the girl in a hug and tell her she loved her too. She most of all wanted to kiss her, like she'd been dreaming off for so long now.
She almost did that, as well. She put her hand on Santana's shoulder and wanted to move forward.
Instead, she awkwardly stayed in place, and just sadly said:
"Yeah. Me too…"
END FLASHBACK
Kurt and Blaine looked at her, the former with tears in his eyes as Quinn told the story.
"After that, things were just awkward between us… We were still friends, but she just held herself back around me, and I just hated myself for not taking the chance…"
"Why, though?", Kurt asked, still a bit teary-eyed. "Why didn't you take the chance? You were in love with her, you knew she had feelings for you,… Why didn't you just go for it?"
Quinn stood up quickly and threw her hands up in exasperation.
"I don't know!", she shouted. "I don't know why I would do that! I was afraid of what my parents and my church would say! I was afraid because it wasn't part of my plans for high school! But most of all, I was afraid of what it meant for me! I couldn't be gay!"
They fell silent for a moment as Quinn sat back down.
"But you are, aren't you?" Blaine asked.
Quinn just looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, I am… After I was pregnant, I'd really lost her. She hated that I slept with Puck, she hated what I'd done with my life, and she hated that I was pushing her away so hard. When I finally got back on the cheerios at her expense, she hated me even more. But I…"
"You never stopped loving her", Kurt finished her sentence, giving her a knowing look. He had seen all the glances that were thrown around, he understood Quinn's feelings.
Quinn nodded, because he was right. She had kept pushing the girl away, and when she finally fully understood how much she needed her, … it was too late.
They all fell silent again, until Blaine spoke up.
"Well, then, I think you can probably get you hopes up again, because if we can judge by what happened today… she still has feelings for you, too."
Quinn looked up and didn't even ignore the fluttery feeling she was having in her chest.
He was right, she had had an effect on her. The Santana she started loving back in middle school was still in there, and she was going to do everything she could to get her out again as well.
She nodded at the two guys, who were watching her face go from sad to happy to determined in no time.
"I'm going to get her back guys. This time, I won't chicken out!"
And Kurt and Blaine smiled as well, and they quickly discussed the next plans in finding out Santana's secrets when the bell rang to indicate that their free period had ended, and the rest of the glee club joined them for their final session of the week.
When glee club ended, Quinn quickly hurried after the Latina, who snuck out right away again.
During glee, Santana's mask was on perfectly again. Apparently, the shock from the confrontation during lunch had already dissipated, and all emotion was gone from her face again, following her notebook perfectly.
But Quinn was determined to follow her booklet just as well. She knew that right after glee, Santana would be going home. All that was left for her, now, was to find out where the hell her home was these days.
When she got into the parking lot, she saw that the Latina was already at her car, so Quinn quickly hurried over to her own car, in an attempt to subtly follow her.
She followed the Latina out the parking lot and onto the streets, making sure to stay close to her, when suddenly she noticed that Santana pulled over at the gas station.
She had, of course, no choice but to wait on the street as Santana's red car drove up there, trying not to stand out to much in her own bright blue – very recognisable – car.
She waited for 10 minutes – 15 – 20, and she started to get nervous, so she quickly drove up to the gas station, and looked for the red car behind the building.
It was gone.
Santana had apparently taken some sneak-way out of there, making it impossible for Quinn to see her from the street.
Okay, so I guess it's probably safe to say she saw me.
Quinn sighed and parked her car in the gas station's parking lot as well, putting her head on the steering wheel.
She stayed like that for about ten more minutes, until she was suddenly jolted awake by her phone ringing.
It was Kurt.
"Quinn? We got her!"
The blonde smiled to herself.
Who's the sneaky one now, Santana?