Author's Note: Well that bit with the Elite Guard was fun. One day down six to go (seriously that may have taken three chapters, but the reality is that's it's only been one day).

Warning: With the Blitzwings heading back to Earth a whole new problem arises…Do any of them know where Detroit is located?

Disclaimer: I am Zaerith, and though I do not own TFA and probably never will, I saw let the funny begin!

Three Times a Charm

Never ask for Directions.

After exiting the space bridge the Decepticon triple-changer turned triple-trouble, ended up a few galaxies short of Earth, and had to fly (taking turns carrying their jet-speed retarded part) back the rest of the way. But it didn't take near as log as they had feared and they landed safely on the moon.

Stopping to rest, Angry glanced at his companions " 'Eh, 'ow long 'as it been zince ce vere kicked out?" he asked.

Cold rolled his optics " 'Aven't jou been keeping track? Itz been a total ov twenty-six hours, forty-three minutes, an' seventeen seconds."

Angry snorted, 'Vell, look whoz ze big genius!" he turned away abruptly.

Cold chuckled knowing perfectly well that this was what Angry did to hide the fact that he was impressed. But the icy personality cocked his head to the side optics narrowing, with a bigger worry then how long it had been since Megatron had kicked them out.

"Random!" He shouted to draw his crazy side over, "Angry come here, I 'ave a question."

"Jou 'ave a question?" Angry teased smugly, "Ze great Cold 'as a question for us."

"Ve're 'is only 'ope!" Random chirped offering his servo in a mock 'high-five' he had seen humans do, which Angry accepted.

"I'm serious." Cold said flatly, and after waiting for his split personalities to stop laughing at him, sighed and asked "Do eizer ov jou know vere on Earthz 'Detroit' iz, or vere all ov us juz following Lugnut ven ve first came 'ere?"

The silence that ensued was almost worth being mocked, and would have, had it not been what Cold had been fearing. Angry and Random exchanged worried looks, "Zat's ze zort ov zing jou do Cold." Random said with a tremble of fear in his voice.

"Jou veren't paying attention to vhere ve vere going!?!" The red-faced Blitzwing accused, masking his own panic with a fuming rage.

Cold rolled his optics again, "Great, none ov us know how to return to ze base evem if ve vere allowed or requested to, and I don zink ze ozers vould appreciate it if ve call an' ask for directions."

"Nevah ask for directions!" Angry fumed "Itz bad luck!"

"Ve're already 'aving bad luck." He pointed out.

"VE'RE LOST!" Random whined and put on a spectacle of crying like and Earth child. Both of them ignored him, causing Random to pout, sit down with his arms and legs crossed waiting for inspiration to come which would put him back in the center of attention which he felt he should always be. After a few minutes of watching his other personalities fight he began to draw in the moon dust, until becoming bored and deciding, hey you only live once (Ubless of course you were Starscream). "I'm going to Vegas!" he announced giddily, transforming into Jet mode and taking off without anymore warning or even thinking about how he had about as much an idea of were Vegas was as he did Detroit."

"Random!" Cold shouted after him, transforming as well and allowing Angry to hope on "Vait! Git back 'ere"

"Na na na na na na! Jou can't catch meeeeeeeeeeh!" Random teased as he entered the lower atmosphere, caring little if this was where he wanted to be or not. At last spotting ground he transformed again and landed in bipedal mode. Before him were a bunch of humans who all stopped what they were doing to stare at the sudden arrival. Behind him, he heard the unmistakable sound of Cold catching up. " 'Ello humans, I come in peace!" Primus, he'd always wanted to say that, meaning it was something else entirely, but he'd always wanted to say it.

"Vhat is vrong vith jou!?" Angry shouted rapping him upside the head.

"Angry…" Cold said calmly, tapping his shoulder, then pointing to the crowd of gathering humans.

There was dead silence for a few minutes before one came up and without hesitating said, "Guten Tag"

Cold looked at Angry "I zink itz safe to say ve aren't in Detroit."

--

Meanwhile, Starscream received the call from Shockwave, AKA 'LongArm Prime' informing the other Decepticons about the close call with the Blitzwings. Shockwave asked to speak to Megatron, but Starscream relayed Megatron's fifty-foot-radius threat and cut the communication before there could be further argument.

Primus did he hate Shockwave, always had and always would.

Starscream stretched and got up. While Megatron was out of it the seeker was in charge; but with the Blitzwings gone, no Megatron for Lugnut and Soundwave to fight over, and Wasp still hiding in a box, there was practically nothing to do. He couldn't believe this but Starscream was bored being the leader.

The seeker turned a corner and ran into…Megatron?

"Megatron sir!" he saluted in spite of himself, "I thought you were recharging."

There was no response for a moment; Starscream glanced up into the Decepticon Leader's face. His jaw dropped a little bit, and his optics narrowed in confusion. Something wasn't right about him, the seeker didn't know what, but something was off.

Finally the bigger 'con answered. "Megatron is recharging."

With that he turned away, stalking down the halls and glancing down every crossroad as if seeing them for the first time.

A chill ran through Starscream. "Okaaaaay…freaky…" he said to himself. "What's his malfunction?"

That is the Question indeed.

Author's end note: No comment too tired…zzzz