She woke up to the faint smell of iron and vague stomach cramps, and realised that at least she didn't have to worry about how tell her "friend" he was going to be a father anymore.

She didn't quite know whether to feel happy or sad about it. Perhaps somewhere in between. She yelled at George because he hadn't bought tampons – again - and for once he didn't yell back, he just laughed and told her to remember condoms next time, which made her even more pissed off.

--------------------------

The whole friendship thing wasn't as easy as it had seemed when Derek had said they'd be "just friends".

It wasn't easy to have lunch together as "friends" when it seemed as if half the hospital, including his ex-wife, were watching them. Perhaps she was just imagining the whispers behind her back. Perhaps the word "whore" was just in her head, as well as the words "poor Meredith". Perhaps they weren't.

When they met in the hallway, they were Dr Montgomery and Dr Grey. Or Dr Montgomery and Dr Shepherd. Or Dr Grey and Dr Shepherd.

It was hard to find things to talk about, too, when there were so many sensitive issues that had to be avoided if their fragile friendship were to survive. Anything to do with former relationships, underwear, parties, vets, adultery, dogs, tequila, marriages... the list went on and on. They could talk safely about medicine, of course, but they tried not to, as their jobs occupied so much of their time already. Sometimes, you just need a break, otherwise you go crazy. Or get burned out. Or both.

But sometimes, when there was an uncomfortable silence which they both seemed to be unable to break, they just sat there. Both thinking the same thing. Or not.

Finally, Derek decided that enough was enough. They were going for a walk in the forest, which they hadn't done together since Doc died. "Mer... We're not really friends, are we?"

At first she had been so relieved just to hear him say something, breaking another uncomfortable silence, but as she realised what he actually said, she recognised the issue as the mine field it was. "No, we're not."

"So what are we?"

"Ex-lovers trying to find out if we want to be lovers again?" She said dryly.

Derek laughed. "Always straight to the point, even when you're sober."

"Except it's not really about finding out if we want to be lovers again," Meredith added slowly. "Because it's obvious that we want to be lovers. I mean..." She blushed, realising what she had just said, and for once, she didn't know what to say. "I can't believe I actually said that," she mumbled, studiously avoiding his eyes. "Just forget it. Forget I said anything. I always talk before I think. It's pathologic." She noticed he was staring at her, which made her blush even deeper. "Derek, stop it. Stop looking at me."

"You don't want me to look at you?"

"No. Stop looking at me like that."

"Stop looking at you like what? You're not looking at me. How can you know which way I'm looking at you?"

Finally, she found the courage to look up at him. His eyes were a very dark grey, warm, and perhaps with a slightly increased amount of lacrimation, but of course, it could've been just her imagination. Or the wind. "You're giving me the McDreamy-look," she murmured. "Stop it."

He surprised her by kissing her gently on her forehead, nothing more. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear, and she felt her skin tingle when his stubbled chin briefly brushed against her cheek. She closed her eyes, feeling light-headed from his scent. Meredith Grey, you're in serious trouble here, she thought.

"Thank you for what?" She somehow managed to say, and she was surprised to hear how husky her voice sounded, as if it belonged to someone else.

"Thank you for telling me you want me," he whispered, and suddenly he was behind her, putting his arms around her waist, holding her tight, his body pressed firmly against her back, but without demands. "I want you too. I always have, from the second I saw you. When I see you in the hospital, all I can think about is being with you." His nose touched her ear, and she shuddered. "We've never taken it slow, Mere. Perhaps that was part of the problem. I think that if we move too fast now, we might ruin every chance we have of making it work."

"Whatever happened to being just friends?" She had no idea how she found air in her lungs to even ask that question.

"Screw being just friends. We both know we'll never be just friends. We tried, and we ended up in that exam room."

"Uhm..." She tried to think of something intelligent to say, but she was distracted by his kissing her neck. "Derek, stop it."

"Why?"

"We were going to take it slow. And if you keep doing that, even for two seconds longer, that slow thing is never going to happen."

The ball was in his court. She was anxiously waiting for his decision, both excited and slightly embarrassed to know that whatever he chose, she'd follow him. She was both disappointed and relieved when he pulled back, and turned her around. "Okay. Slow – and a cold shower."

She laughed.