I'm sorry for not getting to all the replies this time, but I truly appreciate every single review! I've been writing this and two other WIPs, not to mention keeping the geeklets alive. ;) Hopefully this longer chapter will make up for it a little bit. If you had a specific question that I missed, please feel free to PM me.

A million thank-yous to LyricalKris, Twilightladies, Twilly, and Lellabeth for their mad skillz!

SM owns all things Twilight. All mistakes are mine.

Chapter 11 - Witch

It's been three days since Alice and Jasper's fight.

Three days since Edward and I slept together.

Three days since I felt the baby move inside me for the first time.

Edward wants to come over to talk, but I'm too afraid I won't be able to control myself, especially if he's willing to let me jump him again. So I ask him if we can talk on the phone instead.

Agreeing with a resigned sigh, he first asks how Alice is doing since she and Jasper haven't made up yet.

"Not great. She's been moping around in sweats, eating her weight in Kit Kats. I had to force her to shower yesterday. It hasn't been pretty."

"Yeah, Jasper's not much better off." He sighs. "Not even Animal Planet makes him happy lately." That makes me giggle despite myself, and Edward gives a low chuckle. "Anyway, I hope they can work it out, but to be honest, I'm much more concerned about our problems right now."

"Yeah…"

He doesn't speak for a moment, but then he utters a quiet, "Do you regret it?"

A heavy sigh blows past my lips and into the phone before I can stop it.

"I'll take that as a yes." His tone is clipped. Hurt. Pissed.

"It's not a yes, Edward." I push my hand into my hair, grabbing at my scalp. "It's a yes and a no, I guess."

"Well, that's not confusing or anything."

His sarcasm makes a hot spike of anger burn through my chest. "You don't think I have the fucking right to be confused here? I'm just supposed to know all the answers, all the time?"

"Fuck, I don't know," he breathes out, clearly frustrated. There's a long pause before, "No. I guess not."

Releasing another heavy sigh, I offer him what I can right now. "I… enjoyed being with you again, Edward. I mean, of course I did. It's just hard to sort through all these conflicting emotions and thoughts running around in my head." I pause for a second, trying to figure out what I want to say. I've been thinking about it for the last three days, but I keep drawing a blank. I've already explained why I feel like we shouldn't be together right now, why I can't forgive him yet. I don't want to give him false hope that we're getting back together anytime soon because I don't see it happening before the baby's born. "I think… I need some distance right now."

"Shit. I knew you were gonna say that."

I can picture him running a hand through his hair, lying on his unmade bed. I miss being in that bed with him. I miss the way he felt pressed up against me.

Shaking that thought from my head, I get my horny ass back on topic.

"I'm sorry," I say, because I am. I'm sorry everything's so fucked up. I'm sorry I can't just fall back into his arms like he wants. I'm sorry I can't forget all the hurt and humiliation, the anger and accusations. I'm sorry for so many things. "I'm sorry this can't be easy. It's just… not."

"I know," he murmurs.

"Do you?"

"Yes." He pauses for a moment, and I don't think he's going to keep talking, but he surprises me. "I've had a few days to digest everything you laid out there, all the reasons why we shouldn't be together right now, and as much as I hate it, I understand. I said I didn't want to make things harder for you, and I meant that. If being with me makes things harder... then I'll back off on the... wooing."

We both let out low chuckles at his word choice. He always was good at breaking the tension.

Feeling like a little bit more weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I take a deep breath. It almost feels cleansing. "Okay. So you're still willing to go to the agency with me, right?"

"Right."

"Okay," I breathe out. A small smile graces my lips at his immediate and supportive response. "We should go soon, so you can meet Diane and get the basics straight from her. I'd like to start looking at adoptive parents soon, and I don't want to do that without you."

"Yeah. I definitely want to be there for that."

More relief spreads through me. He's really going to step up and be in this with me. I'm still having a hard time believing it.

A sudden flutter in my abdomen reminds me of the first day I felt her and how I cried and cried, already anticipating being separated from her. I prayed for strength that night. I'm doing a bit better today, but I know it's only going to get harder to stay strong as the pregnancy progresses.

Some of the birth moms in our counseling group didn't rub their bellies or talk to their babies at all so as not to form an attachment, but I feel like it's already there. And I don't want her to feel unloved, because I do love her. I love her so much that I want a better life for her than the one I could give her.

"You okay?" Edward asks, and I realize I've been silent for a few moments.

"Oh. Yes. Sorry. It's just…"

"Just?" he asks when I fall silent.

"I've started feeling the baby move. It's a little… unnerving."

"Oh." A pause and a deep breath. "What does it feel like?" The almost childlike curiosity in his voice brings a smile to my face.

"It's really weird, actually." We both laugh. "It's like I've swallowed a fish bowl, and there's suddenly a fish in there, whose fins are brushing my insides as it swims around."

He laughs again.

"Yeah. Like I said. Weird."

"Um…" He clears his throat. "Are you doing okay with that?"

My eyes sting suddenly because I didn't think he'd pick up on the break in my voice. "I cried a lot the first time, but yeah. I'm, uh... I'm doing okay."

"When was the first time?"

"The same day you and I…"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Strange day all around, I guess."

"Yeah." He sighs. "Listen, I'm really sorry, but I have to get going."

"Oh. Okay." I can't deny the flash of pain that hits me when he doesn't say where he's going. The fact that I don't have the right to know or ask is hard to swallow even though I ended things. "I guess I'll talk to you later, then?"

"Yep. Have a good night, Bella." My name rolling off his tongue in his smooth voice still makes me break out in goosebumps.

I hate it.

"You too."

The next few weeks are busy but productive. School starts back up, and our schedules are hectic, but Edward and I find time to make it to the agency together.

Edward makes the effort with the adoption process as promised. Mostly. He's run late a few times and even missed an appointment, but he's trying. He responds well to Diane and really likes her, which is important. She's going to be our go-between for a long time to come.

We've looked at books filled with profiles of hopeful couples. Couples who have no children but want them desperately. Couples who have adopted some already but want more. We've looked at profiles of people trying to prove their worth to us through smiley photographs and flowery words.

It's overwhelming.

True to his word, Edward has backed off on trying to get back together with me, although sometimes I catch the longing in his eyes before he can hide it away. I'm sure he sees it in mine at times too, because I know it's there. It's not like I don't miss him, miss having fun and being carefree with him.

But being carefree is a thing of the past.

Most days, though, it still feels like my heart beats just for him. And on the days I'm being honest with myself, it feels like it always will.

Alice and Jasper have made up, thank God. It only took about a week and a half, which was actually longer than we all predicted. It was the weirdest thing for those two to be apart. They were almost always joined at the hip. They finally talked things out, and now, they seem to be stronger than ever.

Jasper apologized to Alice and me for his comment that it would have been easier if I'd just had an abortion. He was high, of course, and doesn't have much of a filter when he's high. I told him he was right. It would have been easier in some ways but much harder in others, and it's just not something I could bring myself to do. He apologized again and said he was talking out of his ass and obviously had no idea what I was going through, and could I ever forgive him?

My answer was "probably".

He's eased up on the pot-smoking since then and started taking school more seriously. His GPA was average before, but he's striving for better this year. I think he and Alice will be just fine.

They, along with Rose and Emmett, have been a good support system for me and for Edward.

It's the middle of October, and tonight, we're having girls' night. Emmett and Jasper are going out for dinner and to see some new superhero movie Alice and Rose weren't interested in. Most of us had big tests this week, and my clinicals are kicking my ass, so we're taking a night to relax and have a little fun.

"The margaritas are ready!" Alice trills from the kitchen. She brings two out and stops in front of me, presenting me with a frosty glass full of lime green slush. "Virgin for you, madam," she says with a flourish in a deep voice.

"Why, thank you, Weatherby," I reply with a sniff in a terrible English accent.

She snorts and hands Rose her drink before returning to the kitchen for her own.

"Alright," Rose says, clapping her hands, "Bella's pick tonight. Action movie, chick flick, or eighties night?"

I turn to Alice, and she and I nod at each other before turning back to Rose. "Eighties night."

"Bitchin'," says Rose before heading over to the DVDs.

Halfway through The Breakfast Club, Alice asks, "Why don't we ever do nineties night? We weren't even born yet in the eighties."

"Because," Rose replies, "the nineties were all grunge and war, and the eighties were drugs and sex and bad hair. Way more fun."

"Oh, speaking of bad hair. Makeovers!" Alice squeals.

I groan, leaning back and propping my swollen feet up in the recliner. "Pass."

"You can't pass," she says in a completely serious tone. "It's eighties night. We always do makeovers on eighties night."

"It's also Wednesday, though. And on Wednesdays…" I give a dramatic pause, eyes widening. "We wear black."

"I am not watching that shit."

"Pussy," says Rose.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I do have a pussy, thank you very much. That only works on guys. I am not watching American Horror Story. No freaking way."

"Dude. The season premiere was SO good. Come on. We can watch it after this is over. Don't be a chicken."

Rose and I proceed to start clucking and flapping our arms at Alice.

"Okay. Okay! Fine. But if I have nightmares, I'm coming to sleep with one of you. And you know I'm a cover-hog."

"Not it!"

Shit, Rose is fast. I groan again, shivering already in anticipation of a night without my comforter.

After the movie ends, I run—okay, waddle—to my room to put on the witch's costume I bought for Halloween this year. Part of me didn't want to even bother with dressing up, but Alice dragged me to a costume store and basically forced me. She's tiny but powerful.

It stretches tight across my belly, but it still looks pretty cute. I put on my pointy hat and then settle back into the recliner for the start of American Horror Story: Coven, rubbing my hands together, excited for the new episode.

"Really, Bella? Your costume?"

"Shut up. I'm trying to have fun. You didn't get to do your makeovers, so go put on some black and watch the witches be eeeeevil."

Alice pulls a face at me but then shrugs and darts off to her room. Rose chuckles at our antics.

"That. Was. Awesome." Alice's gray eyes are big as saucers, staring at the TV as the credits roll.

"I know, right?"

"We told you."

"I need to pee." That's Alice for once. Not me.

"Me too."

Left alone in the living room, I'm the only one who hears the knock on the door. Bitching and moaning about having to get out of the recliner, I waddle over and answer it, expecting Emmett and Jasper.

They're there, but so is Edward, laughing and smiling in a polo and jeans, a supple brown leather jacket hanging off his broad shoulders.

The visceral physical reaction is immediate and catches me off guard. One hand goes to my chest, and at the same time, I rub my thighs together. God. He hasn't been back here since that day. The day. We've seen each other and talked, of course, but he hasn't been here, where my bed is… just a few yards away…

Turning his crinkled eyes on me, he smiles wider at my get-up, and seeing him smile like that makes a huge grin stretch across my own face. Emmett and Jasper decide to push past him and come inside. "Are those your cookies I smell, B?" asks Emmett as he sniffs the air on the way to the kitchen.

"You better not be smelling her cookies," Edward mumbles, and I let out a surprised laugh.

We've developed a tentative friendship in the weeks after our talk about my needing space and his easing up on wooing me. We mostly only see each other when we're going to the agency, but it's been… nice. We weren't friends before we dated, and I like getting to know this side of him with sex off the table.

Mm, sex with Edward on a table.

Shit. No.

Shaking my head at myself, I tell him, "You'd better get in there before Em inhales them all."

They're Edward's favorite—oatmeal, double-chocolate chip.

"Shit. You're right." He levels me with his killer smile but doesn't move just yet. "What's with the costume?" he asks on a laugh, touching his index finger to the point at the tip of my hat.

"We were watching Coven, and I felt festive." I shrug. "I'm wearing it to the Halloween party at the frat house. No Catwoman this year." My pout is only partially genuine.

"You're coming to the party?" He's surprised but doesn't seem unhappy.

"I think so. As long as I'm feeling okay." I smooth my hands over my bump. "Is that… okay?"

"No, yeah. Of course it is. I just didn't know if you'd feel comfortable. You haven't been to the house since…"

He doesn't want to say it, and I don't make him. Since the night I saw Lauren's tits pressed against him.

Edward finally starts to step over the threshold, and I move to block him, feeling playful. "Be careful, now," I say with a lift of one eyebrow. "If you come in, you might just fall under my spell." Laughing, I make sweeping motions with my arms and basically act like an idiot because it's been a fun night. I haven't let myself relax and have as much fun as I have tonight in so long.

He steps in, smiling with a touch of sadness that I don't understand right away. And as he walks past me, lowering his eyes, I inhale the scent of leather and hear him utter a faint, "Too late."

Thank you so much for reading! xoxo