A/N: I know the ending of the last chapter raised a question amongst many of you but rest assured you will have your answers in this chapter.

Once again I want to thank all my wonderful readers who give me such inspiration to continue. Thank you all so much and reviews are always welcomed!

Enjoy!

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At first, she had only been upset over his quick withdrawal, her own insecurities making her think he had changed his mind. However, when she saw Rukia on the porch, she thought perhaps he heard her approaching. If that was the case, then she felt a bit better. Rather than him jerking away from her in repulsion, he had simply been embarrassed at almost getting caught. What confused her was the heavy onslaught of emotions that came as soon as they parted. It was an odd feeling. Almost as if she was certain she would never see him again.

That's what made her leave the party and lock herself away. No matter what she tried to do, the feelings wouldn't pass. As the night wore on, they only got worse. Despair so thick she had trouble catching her breath washed over her being. For whatever reason, she felt as if her life was about to be over.

It made no sense. She was completely confused by the way she felt.

She tried to put on her smile for everyone the next day but even to her it seemed fake. Ichigo asked her once again what was wrong but she told him it was nothing. How could she explain the odd feelings she was having?

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-August-

The next few days Orihime threw herself into her work. There was no school for a few weeks so she knew she wouldn't see Ichigo as much. Normally that thought alone would depress her, but she felt as if she needed to regain control over her emotions before she could face him again. The lingering pain she still felt from that onslaught of emotions was a heavy enough burden and she was afraid being around him so much would cause them to resurface. So for the time being, she picked up every shift they would allow her to. At work she could interact with everyone and wear a true smile on her face.

Yuzu came by the store and invited her to dinner but she refused saying she had to work. While that wasn't necessarily a lie, it was a small stretch of the truth. She would have to work once she replied to the manager about picking up the shift. If she had agreed to go to the dinner, she could have simply said she had plans and couldn't work. He hadn't asked the other employees yet as he knew Orihime was willing to work extra shifts lately. She was just scared to see Ichigo again so soon.

Unfortunately, once her shift ended that night and she was leaving the store, she saw Ichigo standing outside the building waiting for her. That odd sadness began creeping back into her heart and she had to fight the urge to cry as soon as she saw him.

"Hey."

"Hello Ichigo-kun. What are you doing here?" she replied.

"I haven't seen you since we got back from the beach. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." He pushed off the wall and began walking towards her.

She avoided looking at him as she answered. "I'm fine thank you. I'm sorry Ichigo-kun but I should be getting home." She walked past him as she hastily left the area. His stride was much longer than hers and he caught up with her in no time.

"Fine, but I'm walking you home."

It wasn't a request. Unless she wanted to be rude she had to allow him to walk her home and she couldn't do that. The problem with her emotions were her own and she shouldn't be taking them out on Ichigo. He had been nothing but nice to her, always polite and respectful, and she was purposefully avoiding him. Why was she such a bad person sometimes?

"Orihime." his stern voice rang out.

She looked up to him, surprised that she had once again spaced out into her own world and had not heard him obviously calling for her.

"I'm sorry Ichigo-kun, were you saying something?"

His eyes showed the concern he was feeling. "What's going on Orihime? And don't tell me nothing again. Something has obviously been bothering you."

She was silent for a moment as she tried to work out what to say to him. She couldn't unload her emotional problems on him; especially when she wasn't entirely sure what was going on herself. "I'm sorry Ichigo-kun. I just haven't been feeling well lately, that's all." She said a quick prayer to the kami and her brother to forgive her little lie.

Ichigo studied her face for a moment before deciding to trust her statement. "Okay, but if something is going on please tell me. I can't help you if you don't let me Orihime."

The last part of his sentence was said low and with so much emotion Orihime felt the tears began to prick the back of her eyes once again. Thankfully they had arrived at her apartment and she was able to bid a quick farewell before ducking inside. She stood still against the door until she finally felt his reiatsu leave the area. Exhaustion flooded her body at that point and she slumped to the ground. All these strange feelings were confusing her and she just wanted them to be over. More than anything she wished she understood what was going on; then perhaps, her friendship with Ichigo could go back to normal.

She would come to realize it would never be the same.

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"Noooo!" her shrill cry pierced the night.

She clutched her right arm to her body as she shot up in bed. Dragging the covers along with her, she crawled backwards until she felt the wall behind her. Shivers racked her body constantly as the lingering effects of pain from her dream coursed through her.

Eight months since that one horrid dream began occurring and it was finally over.

She clutched her head as the tears ran unchecked down her face. Many, many times she remembered saying she only wished she could finish the dream. Now she was regretful she had. Everything was so clear now. Why her arm had been bandaged when she woke up, her presence at the hospital, Kurosaki-san's confusion when she didn't remember him being a shinigami. This was no dream. She knew for a fact this was a very real memory.

Her shivers wouldn't stop and the tears poured out faster than ever. The pain...kami, the pain had been unbearable. She had wanted to let go so badly, wanted to stop the agony she suffered but she knew if she had everything would be lost. So she withstood it. How long it actually took before the hogyoku was pulled from Aizen's body she wasn't sure, but it felt as if days had passed before the unending torture ceased. The vision of her flesh melting off her arm flashed within her mind again and she barely made it to the bathroom before she began vomiting.

She emptied her stomach violently but the heaving wouldn't stop. Again and again she gagged on nothing at all as her tears continued to blind her.

"Orihime-sama." Though she couldn't see him, she knew the voice belonged to Shun'o. "Orihime-sama, please try to calm down."

She felt a towel being pressed against her hands. She roughly wiped her face and mouth but the images kept assaulting her mind. Aizen's cruel eyes and words, the indescribable pain, the knowledge that she was going to die...

It was all just too much for her. She screamed her pain into the emptiness of her apartment before her vision ran black.

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She felt the coolness of the bathroom tile against her skin as she woke up. She was confused for a moment as she struggled to remember why she was in the bathroom to begin with. All at once the visions of the memory returned and with it the tears began again.

"Orihime-sama?"

She raised her head to greet the faces of her obviously upset powers. All of them, save for Tsubaki, watched her with such concern in their eyes. Tsubaki's head was tilted down as he focused on his lap, unable to meet her eyes.

"Shun'o-kun..." she whimpered through her tears. She could find no words to describe the suffering she remembered so she gave up and collapsed her head into her hands and cried fully once again. She felt their tiny hands on her as they tried to lend her support, but as she was now devoid of any strength, so were they. They stayed huddled around her though, whispering soothing words as they cried their own grief at their master's pain.

As the numbness of grief settled in place of the pain and she felt she could cry no more, she scrubbed her face and washed the bitter taste from her mouth. She quickly made a cup of hot tea and collapsed by her table. Her mind was overwhelmed as she sat staring at her brother's shrine. More than anything, she wished he was still here. In his arms she could find the comfort she so desperately needed. He wasn't here though...nobody was.

She would have to find the strength to stand on her own. All she was suffering from was a memory. A memory that was eight months old. Her sacrifice that day ensured everyone's survival; in that way she knew the pain she suffered was worth it.

Why did she even have to remember such a painful event? Perhaps Ichigo had been right to say she was better off not knowing about it.

Ichigo?

The cup nearly fell from her hands as she remembered the beginning of her dream. The stand-off with Aizen and the ensuing pain had overwhelmed everything else and nearly made her forget the events leading up to it. Once she had made her decision to confront Aizen she realized with finality that she would die. With Ichigo standing beside her, awake and unharmed, she gave into her selfish desires and in front of his mentors and father she kissed him and confessed her love.

Embarrassment flooded her system along with a small amount of relief for finally telling him how she felt. The blush that was working it's way on her cheeks abruptly ceased as she now realized he knew...he knew and had never said a word about it. He had never even acted like he knew. She couldn't remember a change in his behavior at all from the first few months after the end of the war.

He brushed her confession aside as if it was nothing to him.

The knowledge pierced her heart as if a dagger had been shoved into her chest. A different kind of pain now racked her body and her soul ached with it. All this time and he never once acknowledged her pouring out her heart to him. In fact, if she remembered correctly from when she was in the hospital he said "if you don't remember it's probably for the best."

What was that supposed to mean? Did he not want her to remember so he wouldn't have to reject her to her face?

All this time...all this time and he knew the depth of her feelings for him, yet he continued on his everyday life as if it had nothing to do with him. He let her continue to act like a fool around him, following him with her heart in her eyes and he just ignored it.

Orihime had never felt more betrayed in her life. She was always sure he would reject her feelings. That was mostly why she had never told him before, but to have him blatantly ignore them?

She felt the tears starting again. Her heart ached so much. Was everything a lie? He said he wanted to be there for her, told her to rely on him when she wasn't strong enough on her own, he said he wasn't in love with Rukia...

Were all those lies?

No, her mind stubbornly reminded her. Ichigo was a man who wanted to protect people, especially the people he cared for. Even if he rejected her feelings, she knew she was still one of his friends. His offer to help her through the difficult times she had was an honest one. Ichigo would never turn his back on a friend.

Perhaps she had been right to begin with the other night, when he jerked away from her the night she swore he was about to kiss her. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment and when he realized the horrible mistake he was about to make he came to his senses. She knew now the feelings of despair from that night were echos of the memory. When she kissed him before confronting Aizen, she was saying her final goodbye to the man she would always love. Being so close to him that night must have triggered those feelings.

Tears threatened to fall again as she felt the pain of rejection coursing through her. Though she knew it would be like this if she ever confessed, some small part of her always had a glimmer of hope. Hope that just maybe he could return the feelings. She laughed bitterly at the thought. She could be such a stupid woman sometimes. Stupid, useless, clumsy...all the things she could vaguely remember her father calling her. She wasn't worth loving.

"Orihime-sama, you've got to stop this."

"What Shun'o-kun?" she asked without bothering to look his way.

"This self-loathing, depressing attitude you've adopted. It's just not like you." he said.

"Maybe it should be." she muttered.

A tiny fist planted itself in her face and pushed her backwards on the floor. Her cup of tea went rolling out of her hands and she was glad it was nearly empty.

"Wha..."

"Now you listen here woman." Tsubaki began as he stared into her wide eyes. "I want you to stop this shit immediately."

"But Tusbaki-kun..."

"But nothing." he interrupted. "What you did against Aizen was brave and you should be proud of yourself!" he screamed at her. When he spoke again his voice was softer and more controlled. "I know it hurts and that memory probably always will. I know the strawberry bastard hurt you too, but dammit woman you are stronger than this! I couldn't belong to you if you weren't!"

Orihime stared into her fighters eyes for a long time. The confidence in his voice as he spoke was solid and truthful. She realized he was right. She was stronger than this. There was no way she was going to let a memory ruin her.

She survived the incident so she could damn well survive the memory. She tried to look on the bright side; this could only make her a stronger person.

What about Ichigo?

Ichigo...the man she was in love with. A man she knew, no matter what, she would love for the rest of her life. Was it even possible to move on from a love like this? She knew only time would tell. Perhaps, after the pain subsided, she would be able to construct some semblance of a life for herself. She didn't want to be alone forever. That prospect by itself was enough to have her hoping the wounds would close eventually.

What was the bright side to this? It took her a while to find an answer but when she did the first hint of a smile crossed her face.

At least she told him.

She didn't have to spend the rest of her life wondering what could have been. She was able to fully confess her feelings to him. Also, her first kiss was with the man she loved. It didn't matter that he didn't return it or that the circumstances weren't the best; the memory of her first kiss would always be Ichigo.

It wasn't as if he could control his feelings anymore than she could. She fell hopelessly in love with him and that wasn't something she could change. Ichigo was still a good man. A decent man who was loyal to those he loved and fought for what was right. The fact that he didn't love her hurt, it hurt so much but she couldn't force her feelings onto him. Yes, she was hurt by his indifference but she wouldn't stop being his friend.

One thing that also kept her from confessing was the thought that once she did, and he rejected her, their friendship would be ruined. It would be too awkward to be around each other and they would drift apart. She now realized that wasn't the case as their friendship was still strong almost a year after she told him how she felt. She didn't want to lose that bond with Ichigo, even if it meant she would suffer the continued pains of unrequited love.

She was a survivor. Her childhood had been horrible, she'd lost all the family she had, been kidnapped, beaten, and taunted by numerous people. Yet she came through it all and she would make it through this too. She wasn't going to be held back by her memories and emotions.

"Thank you Tsubaki-kun. Thank you everyone. I'm going to be okay. It's going to take time but I promise I will be okay."

"We know you will Orihime-sama. We have faith in you." Shun'o said with a smile and her powers returned to her hairpins. Orihime picked up the fallen cup and cleaned up what little tea spilled on the floor. She got comfortable in her futon before allowing herself to embrace her tears once again. She was going to work hard to get better...to get stronger; but right now, the pain and heartache were still so powerful inside her. She succumbed to her tears once again before making a promise to herself.

This would be the last time she cried over the pain Aizen caused...and Ichigo's rejection.

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Ichigo tugged on the collar of his kimono as he stalked to the park. He could vaguely see the bright lights above the trees and hear the laughter coming from the Tanabata festival. Yuzu and Karin walked ahead of him, laughing at some joke between them. Yuzu turned back to ask him something and he tried his best to focus on her. All he really wanted to do was find Orihime, take her away from the festivities, and ask her what the hell was going on.

Ever since they got back from the beach she had been avoiding him. She swore she wasn't saying that she was just busy or ill but he knew it was bullshit. It all began that night he almost kissed her. If he didn't know her feelings he would say she was trying to avoid another situation like that one. Since he knew she was in love with him that explanation didn't make any sense. Yet ever since that night things had been strained between them. Hell, he'd apologize for whatever was wrong but he just didn't fucking know!

He gave up calling her or trying to see her for now and simply made sure to ask Tatsuki if she would be at the festival. She assured him she would since it was her favorite. Ichigo resolved himself to find out what was bothering her tonight.

As they approached the park he could now see the hanging lanterns giving off their soft glow, breaching the darkness of the night. Colorful streamers hung from the trees swaying gently in the breeze. By the river, people were hanging their wishes on the trees lining the banks. The twins waved to him as they ran off towards their group of friends they spotted. Ichigo absently waved back while he began his search for the absent princess.

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Orihime eased her way through the throngs of people mulling around the park grounds. She caught the glances some of the men sent at her but she didn't even bother with their stares. Tatsuki was running late and bid her to go to the festival first, saying they could meet up there. Now, her gray eyes searched for the short black hair of her friend. A light breeze came through, rustling the soft fabric of her kimono.

She was proud of the purchase. While she was being frugal with her money, she had always wanted a pretty new kimono to wear to her favorite festival. This year she splurged and bought the one that caught her eye. Draping down her body, the soft white silk was offset by the beautiful red hibiscus flowers decorating the garment. A bright red obi was tied around her waist, elegantly knotted in the back. She'd decided to pull her hair up for the night and secured it with a beautiful pair of ivory chopsticks. Though the outfit had cost her more than she'd wanted to spend, she was happy with the results. Wearing the attractive kimono made her feel pretty and she needed that feeling now more than ever.

She purchased a stick of sweet dango at a nearby vendor and munched on it as she toured the grounds. Children laughed and ran around the park while the parents watched on, laughing in their own groups. She waved to a few acquaintances from school but continued on, not feeling the most sociable at the moment. While she was doing her best to get over the startling revelation of her memory, she was still deeply hurt by it and the knowledge of Ichigo's rejection. Since the full dream came to her nearly a week ago, she had not had a good night's sleep. Sometimes, she was simply too scared to sleep. Afraid that while her guard was down, the disturbing dreams would rush back in causing the slightly healed wounds to re-open.

"Orihime-chan!"

She turned at the voice and smiled a true smile at the joy written on Masaru's face as he ran to catch up to her.

"Good evening Masaru-san."

"Hey. How are you tonight Orihime-chan?"

"Good thank you. How are you?"

"Oh much better since I found you here." she blushed slightly at his words and the radiant smile he still held for her. She couldn't deny that Masaru was an attractive man. Especially tonight in his dark blue kimono with his black hair swept back from his face. The broadness of his shoulders was apparent in the thinly layered kimono and his green eyes seemed to sparkle in the dim light. Why couldn't she fall for someone like him?

"Are you here with your family Masaru-san?"

He urged her to continue walking as the crowd became thick once more and fell into step beside her. "Yeah and some friends from school but when I saw you I had to come over." he smiled again showing his white teeth.

"Thank you for that but I don't want to keep you from your friends."

"They'll wait." The duo walked further towards the water where the crowd wasn't so thick. Orihime thought she saw a flash of orange hair before it disappeared from her vision. Just the sight was enough to make her heart clench.

"Orihime-chan?"

"Yes?" She looked up into his eyes. She saw a faint blush appear on his cheeks before he looked away briefly and took a slow, deep breath.

"I...I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now an I...I guess I should just come out and do it." she saw his hand clench by his side as he turned back to face her. "Orihime-chan, would you want to go out with me sometime?"

Her eyes blinked wide for a moment, staring unseeing into his own before the full weight of what he'd asked hit her. When it did, a bright blush lit up her cheeks before she tilted her head down. Masaru was a smart, attractive, nice man. The kind of man she would want to date but...she just couldn't do it yet. Ichigo still held her heart so strongly within his grasp that it wouldn't be fair to Masaru to take him up on his offer. If she was over Ichigo, if she was able to look at him without wanting to break into tears, she was pretty sure her answer would be yes. For now though...

"I'm sorry Masaru-san. I can't."

"Oh." That one word uttered by him was so dejected she felt tears pricking the corner of her eyes for causing that pain. She saw the forlorn look on his face and felt the need to explain further.

"I really wish I could Masaru-san. You really are a nice guy and actually I think it would be...umm...nice to go out with you." the last part was said almost in a whisper because of her embarrassment. "but it just wouldn't be fair to you. It's...it's just..."

"It's okay Orihime-chan. I understand."

"Eh?" she asked in confusion. Masaru now wore a sad, knowing smile on his face.

"There's someone else isn't there?"

A gasp escaped her lips. "H-h-how did you know?"

"I have four older sisters." he said with a laugh. "Growing up in a house full of women you learn to pick up on a few things."

"Oh." she smiled with him but it soon turned into a frown once more. "I'm really sorry Masaru-san."

"Don't be. You can't help the way you feel." A pain invaded her heart once again as he spoke aloud the very thoughts she had herself a week ago. "I really hope we can still be friends though."

"Oh I would like that so very much Masaru-san!"

"Thanks." his eyes swept the crowd, looking for his friends she assumed, before he turned to her once again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you mean what you said? About thinking it would be nice to go out with me?"

Her cheeks stained red once again. "Yes." she admitted with a whisper.

"Tell you what." he said, his former confidence now restored. "If it doesn't work out with the guy you like we can try going out then. Whaddya say to that?" he added with a smirk.

Orihime found herself laughing with him once again and agreeing to his proposal. It already wasn't working with the man she was in love with but she wasn't ready to put herself out there. She found herself hoping that when she was, Masaru would still be there.

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Ichigo ground his teeth in frustration instead of snapping at his friends as they walked around the festival. Ishida and Chado found him easily enough, all they had to do was follow the whining voice of Keigo as Ichigo blatantly ignored his requests to participate in the silly games surrounding them. While he'd managed to find all his male friends, the one woman he was looking for was still missing. How long could it possibly take to find one beautiful woman in this damn crowd!

He saw Ishida alter his course slightly and he followed, hoping the Quincy had finally picked up on her reiatsu since he wasn't having any luck. Thankfully for the substitute, he did. As they descended the small hill he felt his breath catch at the vision she presented once again. With her hair pinned up, her long graceful neck showed itself to his hungry eyes. He found himself wanting nothing more than to run his lips across the expanse of it. Shaking his head slightly, he steeled himself of his inappropriate thoughts and walked closer to the friends standing near the trees.

"Oh hello Ishida-kun, Sado-kun, Ichigo-kun." she said as she waved to them.

Something immediately struck Ichigo as odd. Though he couldn't place it, something in her greeting was different and it confused him.

"Good evening Inoue-san, Arisawa-san. Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Oh very much. How about you Ishida-kun?"

"It's a passable time considering I'm in Kurosaki's company."

"Bastard."

"Dim wit."

"Children." Orihime's voice rang out in warning. "This is a festival. Can we not do this today please?"

The men looked away from each other to refrain from snapping at the other at her behest.

The group settled into a comfortable conversation as friends often do, though Ichigo still found Orihime's behavior to be a bit off. Not to anyone else, just towards him. While she would look at him if she was speaking to him, her gaze was averted the rest of time. She was standing on the other side of the group and made no effort to come closer to him. Added to the frustration he felt at her avoidance earlier in the week, he was about to snap. Finally, an opportunity for him to get her alone provided itself when the girls went to get paper for their Tanabata wishes.

"Ugh, there's no more paper in this bin." Tatsuki said in frustration.

Orihime smiled and pointed behind them. "Look Tatsuki-chan, I bet there's some paper at the next tree. I'll go check okay?"

"I'll come with you Orihime." Ichigo immediately said.

"N-no that's okay Ichigo-kun. I'll be fine."

"I'm coming anyway so let's go." he said and took off in the direction of the tree, not giving her another opportunity to refuse him.

Orihime reluctantly followed behind him. She had both seen and felt him watching her throughout the evening. Something was obviously on his mind and she could tell he wanted to talk to her. Unfortunately, she did not feel the same. She didn't know what to say to him yet. Should she tell him she remembers everything? That wasn't a good idea in her opinion. If she told him that and the subject of her confession came up, she knew she wouldn't be able to handle hearing his words of rejection in person. The last remnants of her strength would probably wither away with that and leave her a broken shell of a woman.

Should she just try to forget it ever happened like he seemed to? She also knew she couldn't do that. No matter how painful the memory was, there was no way she could ever forget it. The images and feelings were burned into her very core. Though painful, she would rebuild herself upon those scars and hopefully come out a stronger person.

All that left her with was to begin to pull herself away from Ichigo, at least in the romantic sense. No longer would she watch him with her heart bared for all to see. She wouldn't try to get as close to him as possible. From now on, she would treat him just as she did her other male friends. Because no matter what, he was still her friend and she didn't want to loose that.

"Orihime!"

"Huh?"

"You were spacing out again." Ichigo said reproachfully.

"I'm sorry. Were you saying something Ichigo-kun?"

Ichigo fixed his eyes on her face as he asked once again. "What's going on with you and don't say nothing. You've been acting differently all night and you were avoiding me earlier this week."

"I wasn't..."

"Yes. You. Were."

She paused at the fierce look he gave her. He was demanding answers and she would have to gently talk her way out of this. There was no way she was admitting what was really going on. She was too afraid of the consequences at this point.

"I'm sorry." she said again, not denying any of his accusations. She watched as the tension left his face. His eyes softened in concern as his hand came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"Orihime. Please tell me what's going on. I want to help you."

The soft lull of his voice washed over her, and with it came pain. Why was he looking at her like that? If he would just quit caring so much it would be so much easier for her. The look in his eyes right then was so gentle and filled with so much emotion she felt that part of her heart want to hope again. She desperately pushed those feelings aside. He didn't love her. He'd already shown her that. If she could just get him to stop worrying about her so much her heart could begin to heal.

Taking a few deep breaths she gathered her strength and looked into his deep brown eyes once more.

"I told you I'm fine Ichigo-kun." she said with a small smile and humorless laugh. "Really, you do know I'm a big girl right? I can take care of myself you know." She smiled again and walked around him, effectively ending the conversation.

Ichigo stood in her wake utterly baffled by her behavior. Just when he figured out his feelings for the woman she goes off an starts acting weird on him. Everything wasn't adding up and it was confusing the hell out of him. Orihime had never talked to him like that. She had never brushed away his concerns as if they were nothing.

It hurt.

It hurt to see her not wanting his concern. Why would she act like that? What was she hiding?

A hundred questions ran through his mind but one was more prevalent than others.

Just what the hell is going on?